Kim So Eun was my best friend since young, we're like sisters, we loved each other that we can't live a minute staying away from each other. When we are in college, we enrolled in the same university. One day while having a late dinner in our favorite korean restaurant I bumped to a guy, the first time I saw him I know at that very moment that I like him. Just to make the story short after that incident we became friends, I find him Intelligent, handsome, and funny, I fell in love with him. We became attached to each other.

 Until one day, he asked my best friend, So Eun, for a date. What hurts more is she said yes. I felt like dying at that very moment, I wanted to scream and cry but I don't want to look stupid in front of them so I just pretend that I don't care... I pretend that I don't give a damn, but deep inside i am dying. Then after that Junho and So Eun became close, So Eun said that she's already in love with Junho. When she told me that, it really hurts me but I'm happy for them. Yeah I should be happy for them. For I love my best friend and ............ I love her boy friend.

3 years later, we graduated, have a stable job, they are still together and still in love with each other. Even though i accepted the fact that Junho was really meant for my best friend, everyday is hell for me.. seeing them happy together while I'm bleeding inside, I kept the pain for so long because I don't know what to do. I don't have any friends to cry on. Every night I cried asking God to please take all the pain in me. I know I should Move on... but its really hard. It is easy to say but really hard to do. 

One evening while watching my favorite drama, So Eun went to our house crying, and said that she and Junho broke up. Junho broke up with her for no reason, for the first time i got mad at him for what he did to my best friend. So Eun was really devastated.

 For two weeks we never saw Junho. Chansung, his friend, said he went for a vacation. GEEZ!!! he had time for a vacation while So Eun is grieving, almost dying for so much pain. We spent the night together, she's hurting so much because of Junho, and I'm also crying for seeing her in pain and my love for Junho now turned out to hatred. We just cry until we fall asleep.

The next day, I just got out from work I saw Junho standing at the front of our house, I went out of my car, ran to him and slapped him twice. He looked surprise. He turned and walked away, my heart said to run after him and hug him but I stop my self preventing to hurt my self again.

After that happened, I never saw Junho again for almost 1 month. So Eun is still crying for him. So as her best friend, I make sure that I have time for her. I taught my self to buried my love for Junho even though its hard but that is the right thing to do.

Christmas eve I went out to check my car outside, I saw a rose and a gift in our doorstep in my name, I rushed to my room open the gift, I almost cried when I saw that it's a bracelet with my name engraved in it then I saw a note, I open and read the note. I cried when I read it

"Eun Ae a~ , I'm in love with you. I think its the right time for you to know my feelings for you. I love you. --Junho "

 

I don't know but I felt like my heart is broken pieces by pieces, I don't know what to feel, I cried all night.

Monday I received a text from Junho. He wanted us to talk, I agree. At exactly 2pm, Junho arrived, my heart beats became abnormal, I was shaking at that time. When we sat at the couch, he started to confess his feeling for me. He said he never intended to fall in love with me, he just realized it one day he's already falling in love with me but unfortunately he's committed to my best friend and he doesn't want to ruined everything.

He is afraid to hurt So Eun for he knows I might get hurt too, and he's not really sure if the feeling between us is mutual. So he kept his love for me for almost a year but then one day he woke up like he really can't stand it anymore so he broke up with So Eun and having the courage to confess everything to me, he is crying. I don't know what to say at that moment, I can't even move, I just cry. He hug me, I just let him. I cry harder, I calmed my self and said to him that I love him also. I also said that I already love him from the start when we first met. It was love at first sight but I just didn't say it for th

The next day, we explained everything to So Eun hoping that she would understand it, but life was really unfair. She got angry, she forsake me as her best friend and worst she cut her wrist, almost brought her to death. guilt strikes me, I took all the blame, I can't even forgive myself, I ask her forgiveness but she said she can only forgive me if I give up Junho, and bring him back to her. I love So Eun, she is the only best friend I had, she's like a sister to me and probably because of the guilt is eating me inside I went to Junho and begged him to love So Eun again but he said he can't. He can't fool his self again for the second time. He said that I was the one he love not So Eun. Since then I avoided Junho, for how many times he tried to convinced me, begged to give our love a chance but I refused for the sake of So Eun.

After a month I received a mail from Junho, telling that he went back to Paris to his parents to heal everything, but he promised that he will love me for the rest of his life. And if I have all the courage to fight for our love I just have to mail him back. He is willing to wait even if it takes forever. After reading it I almost die, I cried, asking God to take my life, I'm like a living dead. I am full of regret, i don't know what to do. Junho is my life and my everything, such a regret that our love never had a chance. for how many times i tempted to mail him, tell him I love him but there are things and people that always holding me back, maybe it's So Eun or my guilt. So Eun and I are doing okay now, we are trying to fix and bring back our friendship. But for Junho.. I still don't know what to do. I'm afraid. I just hope that someday we can love each other again. I will patiently wait for that. Hoping it will happen soon. SOMEDAY :(