“Kairiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” I had my name screamed into my ear.

“WHAT?” I turned to glare at my friend, Aesook, who was jumping up and down, barely reaching the height of people standing still.

"Are you excited to be going to Disneyland?!” She continued to scream in my ear.

I moved a couple feet away from her loud voice. “YAH! Do you wanna blow my eardrums out?!” I rubbed my ear, hoping that the loud ringing would soon disappear.

Aesook ignored me and continued to freak out. “I can’t wait! This is the first time I’ve ever been here! I can’t wait to go on the rides!” Her eyes sparkled as she tried to tiptoe above the crowd, so she could catch a glimpse of the most magical place in the world.

I glanced at her excited face and smiled. “It’ll be fun.”

We were standing under the hot sun, waiting in this huge line, so we could inside. I stood nonchalantly with my hand over my eyes to block the sun. Aesook, on the other hand, was in another world and jumping around like a crazy kid on a sugar high.

I could feel a bead of sweat roll down my neck. Oh, my god. It’s so hot.

I looked around in boredom. I could see clusters of families wearing matching sweaters. My eye twitched at the bad fashion sense. I looked down at my tank top and shorts. “How on earth are they not cooking underneath those sweaters?” I mumbled under my breath.

Then I could feel something being inserted into my ear, and the sudden blast of music made the ringing in my ear to come back. I looked back at Aesook, who gave me a cheesy smile. “You looked bored.” I rolled my eyes at her and tried to see how much farther we needed to go to get to the entrance.

Aesook was trying to dance to the song as if she was at a club but failed as she accidentally smacked someone in the face. “OMO OMO OMO! I’m so sorry, sir!”

I stifled a laugh before turning away again and ripping out the ear piece. My ears. I swear. They‘re gonna die because of Aesook.

She looked back at her iPod screen and scrolled down her song list before choosing another song. She smiled widely before roughly shoving the ear piece back into my still ringing ear. I turned to glare at her, and then I calmed once I realized what song was playing.

What is Love.

Okay, I don’t like admitting this, but... I’m such a hardcore k-pop fan. Oh, who am I kidding. I tell everyone when I first meet them. I LIVE FOR K-POP. Especially for EXO. But I think Aesook was an even bigger k-pop fan. I was just watching her dance around wildly to this song while squealing every time Baekhyun’s part came up. She was so obsessed. Psh. Not like I wasn’t either.

You would think I’m calm right now. But just wait. JUST. YOU. WAIT.

I could hear the chorus of the song come up, and I opened my mouth.

“I lose my mind neoreul cheoeummannasseulttae,” I quietly sang out.

Then Aesook joined in with me. “Neo hanappaego modeungeoseun get in slow motion.”

We looked at each other and laughed, beginning to sing louder.

A lot of people stared at us weirdly since they had no idea what we were singing about, but we didn’t care. PSH. It’s EXO. Please. They’re just beautiful. And talented. Wjfheiuhfiuweyhrfjwnrfkjnewkjfhekjf. Oops. My inner fan girl is starting to come out.

I could see, from the corner of my eye, a group of guys who looked at us and laughed, but I shrugged it away. Like I said, we didn’t care. It’s BEAUTIFUL EXO. FJHBUJIHUDHJFNUJIFGHJK F- No, Kairi. Calm thyself. Yes, I went Shakespearean. Or I think it’s Shakespeare... DON’T BLAME ME, OKAY? I’M UNDER THE SPELL OF EXO!

Aesook and I kept singing to EXO songs as the line moved along. I could still feel the group of guys watching us sing and laughing at us. My eye twitched. CALM YOURSELF, KAIRI. DON’T WORRY ABOUT THEM. THEY’LL EVENTUALLY STOP.

But they didn’t. It was at least two EXO songs later that I turned around abruptly to face them.

“YAH! STOP LAUGHING AT US AND JUST SHUT UP, OKAY!?” I glowered at them. They just stopped and froze with their mouth hanging ajar. They just stared at me in shock before I turned back to the front again, annoyed. Everyone in line stared at me like I was crazy, and Aesook face palmed herself in embarrassment to be seen with me.

Don’t mess with this EXOtic, mmkay? Or else, I’ll tear you to shreds. I smirked at the thought.

Aesook looked back at the group of guys, who was still kind of in shock, and eyed them. “Ooh, Kairi. The guys you yelled at are cuuuuuuutteeeeeee.”

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. “I don’t care. They were rude to be laughing at us.” I pouted.

Aesook continued to ogle them. “But but but. They’re REALLY hot. OH MY GOD. Like. UNF. My ovaries, Kairi. They go boom.” She made an exaggerating exploding motion with her arms and did the sound effects along with it. I laughed at her.

“Aesook. Calm your pants, mmkay? Hahaha. They were just some rude guys who totally laughed at us for singing EXO,” I pointed out to her.

Her expression darkened. “Oh yeah.” Her gaze snapped back to the group of guys again. “Those BASTARDS!” She tried to fling herself over to the group of guys, but before she could do anything about it, I calmly pulled her shirt back.

“Don’t even think about it, Aesook.” I pointed at the security guards in the corner. “You see those security guards? They look terrifying. They look like demons who wants to the happiness out of us.” Aesook eyed them with a scared look. “So if you cause a commotion, they’ll kick us out of Disneyland, and you won’t be able to ride anything.”

She understood what I was saying because formed an “O”. “I gotcha.” Aesook turned around and got more excited about how much closer we were to the park.  

I looked back at the group of guys, and one of the guys had his back towards me. I looked him up and down before turning around and joining Aesook. I smirked. Nice .

--------------------

We eventually got our tickets and entered the park. I could hear little kids screaming at their parents to buy them toys, and I could smell a weird mixture of different kinds of food in the air. It was a little nauseating, to be honest.

Aesook’s eyes sparkled once she spotted the rides, and she pulled my arm towards Space Mountain. “LET’S GO ON THIS ONE!” She screamed in my ear... AGAIN.

We spent two hours going on different rides, and I was exhausted. Aesook, still hyped up (I think she ate a buttload of candy before we came), wanted to go on more rides.

“Aesook, can we just sit down for a minute. You’re killing me!” I whined. She pouted and grudgingly complied.

We sat down on a bench to rest our feet. I leaned back and acted like I was dead while Aesook was looking around for other rides.

A girl hurriedly ran past us, and I swear I heard her say something about EXO. I shrugged it off. Probably just another EXOtic at Disneyland. No biggie.

Then more and more groups of girls ran in the same direction as that other girl. I caught a snippet of what they were whispering to each other. “Did you hear? EXO’s in Disneyland RIGHT NOW!”

My eyes widened so big, I resembled D.O. I could feel my heart beat faster, and my adrenaline start rising. I looked at Aesook, who had the same expression as me on her face. Without wasting a second, we got up from our seat and followed the girls, blindly trying to look for a glimpse of one of our favorite boy bands.

We spent half an hour trying to look for EXO, and I slowed down to catch my breath. Aesook, as always, was too energetic to stop. “COME ON, KAIRI. HURRY UP!”

I gave her a look and raised my hands in the air. “Well, excuse me for getting tired.” She rolled her eyes. “And Disneyland is HUGE. We’re probably never gonna catch them. And plus, I thought you wanted to go on the rides. We can‘t go on them if we spend our whole day here looking for EXO.”

She gave me a hard, determined look, different from her usual happy, hyper self. It kinda scared me. “We can go to Disneyland anytime in our lives. BUT WHEN’S THE NEXT TIME WE’RE EVER GONNA SEE EXO IN PERSON?” Gosh dang it. She had a point. “This could be a ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY! SO! Get your lazy moving!” I glared at her before I started to run around again.

--------------------

Oh my gosh. This is a lost cause. We can’t seem to find EXO in this godforsaken park.

..

I’M SORRY, DISNEYLAND. I LOVE YOU. I DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS! FJHEJAHGQAEGRHUJKQENRTJKTEBGUJETBGUJHNF

Okay, this is what happens when I am deprived of looking at delicious man meat-I MEAN EXO. Ahem. Yeah.

Ten minutes before, Aesook suggested that we split up and look for them on different sides of the park. I looked around in vain for a glimpse, JUST A GLIMPSE, of beautiful aliens from EXO Planet. I sighed. I gave up.

I took out my phone and was about to call Aesook until I saw something in my phone’s reflection. I saw the group of guys that were laughing at Aesook and I in line walking behind me, but some of them were missing.

Hmm. I didn’t notice that they were wearing masks and sunglasses before. They’re gonna get such bad tans at the end of the day. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Yes, I know. I’m mean. But those bastards were rude. HMPH!

But I continued to watch them. One of them took off his mask for a second so he could readjust it on his face, and I almost dropped my phone.

Was that....?

I looked back onto my phone screen to see the guy’s face again. Sure enough, it was EXO-K’s leader, Suho. My blood felt like it stopped flowing as I stared into the face of an EXO member!

...

OHMYGAWD MY OVARIES. MY GOD DANG OVARIES. OH MY GOD. THEY’RE ALL OVER THE PLACE. I HOPE THE JANITORS DON’T HAVE A HARD TIME SCRAPING OFF MY OVARIES OFF THE ROAD. HOLY JBHFSJBHgeigfqjkBRFJWGDYULBGAJFBEQAGjfgWBEIUGFbbfwjABGFjEBAFJgESJuyfgBWKbeduwzjgfuygfijckBEAKJfBEGLUIGUYGBSJFbzkjzsbgviuf

I watched them walk away, and I stealthily stalked them. I kept my eyes glued on Suho’s back, just in case I lose them.

Okay, I have no shame in stalking them at the moment. If you were in the same situation as me, you’d do the same thing!

....no? Oh, okay. Maybe Aesook and I have problems.

They stopped at a store and looked around. I hid behind a trashcan and secretly watched their every move. I suddenly remembered about Aesook and clumsily dialed her number without taking my eyes off of them.

The phone rang once before Aesook answered. “WHAT,” she asked in an angry voice.

WELL EXCUSE ME, AESOOK. I’M THE ONE WHO FOUND EXO.

“Aesook! I found EXO! They’re right in front of me! OH MY GAAAAHH!” I whispered into the phone. I couldn’t have them know that this creep right here was stalking them.

It was silent for a little while before she spoke up. “Oh my gosh. I found EXO too! But it’s only Baekhyun, Luhan, and Sehun. Poor Baekhyun looks like a third wheel in the presence of Hunhan. AHHHH BAEKHYUN, LEMME LOVE YOU!”

Well, my eardrums are gone again.

“OH MY GOD. THERE’S CHANYEOL. OH MY GOD. BAEKYEOL. BAEKYEOL!!!!! NO, BAEKHYUN IS MIINNNEEEEE!”

As Aesook began to ramble on and on about the things she’d do to Baekhyun, I looked back at EXO. Tao...Lay...Kris...SUHO. Hmmm. I guess D.O., Kai, Xiumin, and Chen are somewhere else.

KRIS. OH MY ING GOD, KRIS. LET ME LOVE YOU. UGH. Kris is my favorite bias in the world. And now I can see him in person.

Let me him. Let me treat him to a nice lunch. Yeah.

But I couldn’t help but look at Suho. He looked really handsome. Leading all the EXO kids around. Like a dad. Awwh. But he looked like a grandpa in that white sweater of his.

You must be ing hot in that sweater, Suho. Not like you weren’t already. OHOHOHOHOHO! But can I rip it off with my teeth?

DYTFGHJKIOUJIYTGFRFDEFGBHNJMIK OH MY GAWD. I SPY TAORIS MOMENT. OH MY GAWD. THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS. OH MY GAWD. MY OVARIES. CAN I COME BACK TO THEIR HOTEL WITH THEM AND BE SANDWICHED BETWEEN THEM?

Okay, enough daydreaming. I could basically feel my eardrum begin to fall off when I realized that I was still on the phone with Aesook, and she was STILL talking. I hung up on her. She’ll figure it out sooner or later.

I continued to stalk them everywhere they went, and I even went on rides with them.

Oh, god. I DO have a problem.

....

NAAHHH. I’m normal.

I really wanted to go up to them and get a picture with them and get their autographs. But being the coward that I am, I couldn’t walk up to them.

--------------------

Aesook, on the other hand, bought every item that Baekhyun touched or laid eyes on. She put on the Mickey Mouse ears that Baekhyun tried on and shuddered in ecstasy.

She spotted them leaving the shop and boldly walked up to them. She mustered up all the aegyo in her body and unleashed it all over Baekhyun. “OPPA! CAN I HAVE A PICTURE WITH YOU?! AND CAN I ALSO GET AN AUTOGRAPH?” She meant to sound cute and sweet, but she ended up screaming it out.

Baekhyun just nodded politely and gave a cheeky smile to the camera with Aesook as Chanyeol took the picture. She was an absolute nervous wreck for standing so close to her all-time favorite bias in the whole world. She then took out a picture of him out of her purse for him to sign. He looked at her weirdly for having a picture of him around, but he signed it for her and smiled at her.

Her eyes sparkled, and she felt like fainting. *SOOOOOO MUUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHH FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* She screamed mentally.

She looked at the picture they took together, and she almost dropped her camera in fright. She looked like a deranged stalker, who looked really hungry, with one eye squinted and her teeth baring. But she kept looking at Baekhyun’s face in the picture and completely ignored the fact that she looked like a wreck. *OPPPPPPAAAARR WHY YOU SO Y?! WHY YOU MAKE MY OVARIES GO BOOM BOOM?!*

EXO all walked away slowly from the crazy fan girl, and Aesook continued to follow them around like a love-sick puppy.

--------------------

It was nearing the end of the day, and I could see them walking towards the exit.

OH MY GOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH. NOOOOOOOOO. I haven’t had the chance to ask for a picture and autograph!

OKAY, KAIRI. NOW’S YOUR CHANCE. GO UP TO THEM. NOW!

I did a little fist pump for encouragement. I breathed in and out for a bit and then started to walk towards them. And then for some reason, I suddenly lost my confidence, and I collapsed onto a nearby bench. UGH. WHY AM I SUCH A WIMP?

I buried my face into my hands. When I looked back up, I saw Suho wave the others to go ahead of him. I tilted my head as I watched what he was doing. He bent over to tie his shoelaces.

OH. MY. ING. GOD. SUHO’S IS STICKING IN THE AIR. RIGHT IN MY DIRECTION. OHMYINGGOD. I CAN’T EVEN EXPLAIN MY FEELS RIGHT NOW. FDHGVBKJLMKLJIUHYGTFVB MLKJHIGYTFDBVHNJ

My eyes were on the verge of popping out, and my mouth was so big that I could catch bugs. I’m pretty sure a fly flew in and out of my mouth.....How lovely.

Suho’s ... It was like the heavens sent this present to me. I really can’t describe it. It’s just too magnificent. It....Was so round... And firm... I wonder what it felt like. MMMMMMM.

He wiggled it in the air a little, and my insides contracted a little.

Suho. You grandpa. Why are you teasing me?

Before I could even realize what I was doing, I had already stood up and made my way over to him. My feet scuffled slowly, as if they had a mind of their own. I continued to stare at his high glory without breaking eye contact with it once. Soon enough, I was right behind Suho, but fortunately, he didn’t notice me at all. He was too engrossed with tying his shoes. Hehe, like a little kid....even though he’s an old man.

My breath hitched a little when his wiggled a little more.

I subconsciously raised my hand. A flood of thoughts entered my brain all at once.

*KAIRI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!*

But my brain seemed to have stopped working. Or I had simply stopped listening to it. All I could see in my view was Suho’s .

And only it.

I heard a couple of screams a hundred feet away from us. Oh. I see that I found Aesook again. From the corner of my eye, I could see her tackling down Baekhyun and screaming “OPPA!” at the top of her lungs while Baekhyun was trying to free himself.

But I couldn’t care less. There was only one thing I needed to do.

I raised my hand a little bit higher. I bit my lips.

Here goes.

My hand cut across the wind like a knife, and my palm instantly came in contact with Suho. The loud slap! sound reverberated across the park.

The internal feeling of glee made my heart beat erratically. I was right. Suho’s WAS firm. It felt like absolute paradise had sent vibrations through my arm to the rest of my body.

It felt as firm as a basketball, and it was like I was playing a game of basketball with God.

.....

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating JUST a little... but.... I JUST SLAPPED SUHO'S !

I can barely explain my feelings right now.

SO MUCH FEELS, BRO. SO MUCH FEELS.

Suho’s eyes widened at the sudden violation of his bottom. He stood straight up and faced me with a horrified expression.

The feeling of happiness was short-lived. It had finally struck me that I just slapped EXO-K’S SUHO’S . THIS IS SO SHAMEFUL, I CAN’T EVEN EXPLAIN. A bunch of conflicting emotions clashed together in my body, and I felt a little sick.

Then I saw two security guards grabbing Aesook and pulling her away. She was kicking and screaming. “NO! LET ME BE WITH MY OPPPPAAAARRRR!” She elbowed one of the security guards in the face. “HAHA! TAKE THAT! OH WAIT, DON’T TOUCH ME!” Another security guard joined in while the other one was clutching his nose for dear life.

I looked back at Suho, who was still in a moment of shock. I gave him a shy smile and shamefully screamed out with my arms above my head, forming a heart, “OPPA, SARANGHAE!” And I dashed over to save my friend.

I really wanted to slap myself. REALLY? I SAID “OPPA, SARANGHAE’! OH MY GAWD. I’M A DISGRACE.

I sprinted over to the two security guards dragging the panicking Aesook. Without them seeing me, I pounced on top of them, causing them to pile on top of the other guard who most likely broke his nose.

I grabbed Aesook by the wrist and ran. And ran. And ran. Out through the exit and out of the park.

Leaving behind three injured Disneyland security guards and two very confused and very violated EXO members.

I could still feel the pulse of my hand from where Suho’s once laid. I smirked. This is going to be a nice story to tell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, uhm yeah. LOL. I'm sorry if you expected like a full length story, but this is actually just a one-shot :P

I hope you guys liked it! :D ... I personally thought it was a little boring, but oh well~ I tried my best.

Saaaaaaaayyyooooonaaaaaaaarrrrrrraaaaaaaaaa guys <3

OH YEAH! And uh......... COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT! I want some feedback on this story, so I know where I can improve if I ever wanna write another one-shot :D

To end this off, here are some random gifs of Suho's :3

CHANYEOL, GRAB MAH TOO!