CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO:Finally

 

 

"Is he seriously not going to come even to this interview?"

 

The question came quietly, almost covered by the noise created from the people in the small hall. The staff was moving from a place to another, most of them carrying small conversations. There was someone offering bottles of water and even if it was a moment to relax from the first part of the interview, the members of Infinite didn't stand up from their seats. The five males were sitting close, with busy eyes on their phones or just polite smiles to the nothing. A quite feeble façade. 

 

"It goes straight to voicemail," DongWoo sighed. It was the third time he had tried calling their leader.

 

Hoya, who was at the end of the line, sulked on his chair after noticing he had no answer from the texts he had sent to the missing member but quickly sat straighter when WooHyun furrowed his brows at him.  

 

When they arrived to their first schedule, they had hoped to see their leader there but the believe got buried when the interview started. With confusion flashing in their gazes, they managed to go on slowly ignoring the missing member and focusing on their task. As soon as they got into a short pause, the members secretly showered their manager with questions about SungGyu's whereabouts but Geonam just told them that something came up with him and that he was going to arrive later. With just that piece of information the five members continued their schedule. Maybe their leader was going to appear later but when the second interview started, and SungGyu gave no sign of appearing, the boys got frustrated.

 

Where was their leader?

 

"You know what? Whatever! If he doesn't care then I don't care either. We can do this without him," WooHyun hissed tucking his handphone in this suit's pocket, his elbow hitting MyungSoo's ribs in the process.

 

"You don't mean that, Hyung," SungJong said softly, lifting his gaze from his own mobile to the right where the singer's unpleased face was.

 

"Don't believe me?" WooHyun dared clicking his tongue before getting a soft punch on the shoulder from the visual. An unreadable look hung in his eyes. The lack of understanding made WooHyun frown his eyebrows. 

 

"Did you get an answer?" Hoya asked after some moments making a head movement to SungJong's mobile that was still in his hands.

 

"What? No." SungJong shook quickly his head before hiding it. "It's a dongsaeng." 

 

A sigh escaped HoWon's lips. 

 

"Where is he?" DongWoo asked to no one in particular before the five went into silence again. This time, no one tried to smile. 

 

From the corner of his right eye, SungJong paid attention to the older members. The tense air surrounding them. He could feel his shoulders slightly trembling as he bounced his left leg non-stop. His hands fidgeted nervously with his iPhone. He was trying so hard to control himself. He couldn't let the others notice. WooHyun couldn't see the worry in his eyes, but SungJong was young and things had gone far too difficult for him to act as if nothing was going on. 

 

Exhaling, he lowered his gaze to his shaking hands. Hesitantly, he unlocked the white mobile before opening his last text. 

 

 

SungJong-ah, can you do me a favour? Keep quiet 'bout this. Be strong for the group, okay? I know you're the maknae but I need to you be a hyung from them right now. Sorry.

 

 

To be a hyung? But he was the youngest. How was he supposed to act like one? Yes, SungJong had a little brother but this was certainly different...

 

The image of his leader in pain still haunted his mind. It was the first time he had seen him like that. After JungRyul sent him off to the managers' hotel room, he found it impossible to catch his sleep. He had spent the rest of the night looking absentmindedly at the redish numbers of the bed table clock. The shock and fear made him unable to react. He had heard Geonam going out and in of the room. He had heard the grunts of desperation, some phones going off and at some point, he ended up alone.

 

Whatever JungRyul told him, it was surely not true. SungGyu didn't have just a cold.

 

Before he met the other members, Geonam had taken some of his time to give him some encouraging words with a hidden warning to not say anything. Not yet. Infinite couldn't afford to get more stress. And SungJong had been okay with that. He tried to act strong and keep the secret to himself, at least until he could meet their leader once again. A conscious one.  

 

SungJong wanted to know. He wanted to be sure SungGy was okay as his managers had told him he was but the moment he received the quite long text from their leader, SungJong couldn't stop from wondering. Cant a maknae look after their hyungs in their own way?

 

Hyungs.

 

Well, that word certainly included their leader.

 

Who was looking after SungGyu?

 

"I can't keep doing this..."

 

Like a thin needle, SungJong's soft voice was projected piercing the numbing noise from the room. The impact the needle like voice had was strong enough to call the other members' attention,

 

"SungJongie?"

 

Blinded by his conviction - or way too decided, SungJong rose from his seat leaving the place where the interview was going to re-start. Some of the staff looked at him a tad confused but SungJong paid no attention to them. He had to get out from there, he had to find his leader.

 

Getting a cab wasn't hard, he had done it plenty of times before, and he surely knew the name of their hotel. He just needed his wallet but just as he fetched it, Geonam was already in front of him, not letting him give another step further.

 

"Where do you think you're going?" The manager walked further inside the small room where their stuff was. Without notice he took the youngest member's arm. "The interview's about to start." His grip was firm.

 

"I can't be here," SungJong raised his eyebrows revealing he wasn't bothered by the older's actions. He just hoped to be understood. "Not when I know what's going on."

 

"You have to."

 

At that the maknae shook his head. "Tell me, Hyung. Where is he?"

 

"SungJong, not now—"

 

"SungGyu-hyung went to the hospital, right?" He kept insisting with his young voice. Instead of trying to get free SungJong walked towards his manager. His hopeful pressure surprising the older. "He needs to get treated, Hyung—"

 

"WooHyun!"

 

As soon as the call reached his ears, SungJong looked over his manager's shoulder to the opened door. He feared to see the person that had shouted, Hoya. Instead, he saw DongWoo stuck at the entrance, behind him, MyungSoo's paled face appeared.

 

The shout, the commotion, the look in their eyes. 

 

SungJong had been heard.

 

 

♫

 

 

SungGyu would've never guessed it was raining if it wasn't for the fact that he was looking thru the floor-ceiling window of his hotel room. The summer rain was falling quietly, carefully, as if it tried to gently clean the foreign city. The sun was barely visible thanks to the pale gray clouds. Exhaling, Infinite's leader hoped for the rain to stop before they started the live transmission. It had to be a good evening, it had to be perfect. After all, it could be his last one. 

 

Nothing much happened after he was pushed by JungYeop to accept take the surgery. He just said some other stuff that made no sense to SungGyu because of his headache. Taking note of that the CEO decided to talk about it after the idol went back to Korea, then JungRyul spent some time hushing some quick words on the phone to him. The korean doctor didn't take much to arrive but just to give some quick words, mainly to his manager before SungGyu slipped into a heavy dreamless sleep. When he woke up, he found himself alone in the now sileny room. His black suit was still placed on one of the cushioned chairs close to his suitcase and the antibiotics were already gone. 

 

It took him a moment to realize the headache wasn't there anymore, just a cotton like sensation that made him feel light. But it was bearable now. Even if he felt slightly weak, SungGyu got to stand up and walk a bit by the spacious room, his feeble legs proving they were able to keep him up once again. 

 

There were too many things on his head. The live performance, his body and health, the group, his family. They had all, all, caught him.

 

Now what?

 

A sad smile invaded his lips as his mind travelled back to the times he used to work several part-time jobs. All his effort, lost sleep, hunger and sacrifices. For this?

 

It had been too good to be true. 

 

Lowering his gaze, SungGyu changed his smile into a grimace at the left catheter on his arm. Just looking at it made him feel uncomfortable. The doctor had said it was better to leave the greenish objet since he was supposed to get more doses during the next couple of days - it seemed his symptoms had been quite strong this time - he couldn't say no to that. The idea of leaving it might have been a good one if he happened to be normal patient who had no plans of moving around but SungGyu wasn't that kind of patient and found it painful to even stretch his arm. 

 

With a timid approach - since he knew the pain - SungGyu tried to reach for the catheter but his hand got stopped half way as a fast knock resounded in the room. It was accelerated, almost desperate. Looking up at the dark wooden door, SungGyu wondered who might it be. He remembered listening to JungRyul telling him he was going to bring him some food later but the manager had the card for the room. It made no sense. 

 

The idea of food vanished from his head when the desperate knocking went for a second round followed suit by a hurried voice. A voice he recognized right away.

 

"SungGyu-hyung? You in there? Huh?! Hyung? Please tell me you're in there!"

 

A snort - proof of his disbelief to the irony - came out from him before he automatically went to reach for the silver knob. SungGyu just unlocked the door before turning on his heels to walk back inside the room. He didn't even wait to see the person knocking. There was no need for it and he had no intention doing it. Not then. If it wasn't for how sick he was, he would've just ignored WooHyun's presence but SungGyu was too tired to listen to the persistent knocks. 

 

He was getting tired of it all.

 

"You're really here—what-what took you so long? You know, I heard SungJong talking to Geonam-hyung and—" As soon as the door was pushed open the words came quickly, stumbling one against the other. In other times he would've found it cute. "...SungGyu-hyung? What happened with you?"

 

 

Behind the hurried clumsiness the voice held that something, that little something SungGyu had been secretly craving to listen. It brought warmth to his insides and for a second it made him hesitate, want to turn around and give in but he ignored his own heart and kept walking to the window. He should keep on going with the façade. Just a bit more.

 

SungGyu had to hold on. 

 

"Hyung, please," the demanding yet childish tone was cut as a hiss got released from SungGyu's lips. He hadn't expected to react that way but his canalized arm had been the one pulled by the younger idol. "Hyung?"

 

WooHyun's words were released slowly, as if they were being given by a dropper, turning SungGyu's carve more intense.

 

"What are you doing here?" SungGyu asked, ignoring the other's questions. "I believe you aren't done with the interviews."

 

"...your voice," WooHyun murmured before footsteps were heard on the carpet. "Are... are you really sick?"

 

Another snort came. The absurdity of the situation made SungGyu feel like an idiot.

 

"Am I?"

 

He spitted sarcasm before taking a seat on the side of the bed, a crooked line formed in his lips. Holding his arm - as if trying to cushion it - with his right hand, SungGyu looked from under his eyelashes at the young man standing some metres away from him. WooHyun's face was pale. He could read it so well but he tried to act like an analphabet. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to give in. He followed where the younger male's eyes went. The greenish catheter.

 

"You got IV? The catheter—god, Hyung!"

 

There was no hesitation when SungGyu took off the named object from his abused skin. In a second WooHyun was kneeling by his side, his hands trying to be of any help but he just got ignored as SungGyu leaned to get himself a kleenex to keep the blood from flowing. His arm was then curled, pressed tight against his chest.

 

"Are you crazy?" A cold gaze was all SungGyu needed to make WooHyun hold his words yet it just lasted some moments. "What happened? ...look at your face, shouldn't you be resting?"

 

Before WooHyun's hand could reach the idol's face, he got pushed aside. SungGyu didn't want to be touched.

 

SungGyu knew he didn't look good. He knew it, that the colour from his cheeks had drained and the dark circles from under his eyes had turned a deeper shade. He knew that his eyes held no light and that his lips were almost like paper. He knew he looked weak but that was something that their staff could hide.

 

"Tell me you didn't mess up the interviews," he said after a moment, his fatigued gaze lingering in the other's concerned one.

 

"Aish, Hyung!" The younger messed his now dishevelled hair. He was letting go of sudden impotence but stopped at a sight. SungGyu's dark suit. "...you just had IV. Are you seriously thinking about performing?"

 

"Why shouldn't I?" SungGyu looked too up to his suit.

 

"This is insane!"

 

What seemed to be an open for SungGyu to burst and give an end to it all, turned into a wall. A wall of silence. Maybe it got created out of the lethargic feeling haunting the singer, or maybe it had been built little by little, almost unknowingly, as the held pain got changed into solid bricks. He didn't know but what SungGyu was certain off was that he no longer felt like opening up. Not to WooHyun. Even if it hurt in his chest, he wasn't going to give in to him. It didn't matter that he was sassily obvious. SungGyu didn't feel like wasting his voice - because now talking meant throwing it away - in someone who had ended up showing lack of care.

 

And yes it hurt him, it really did. He hated what their relationship had turned into but he no longer had the strength to look after them too.

 

He was getting weak, not only physically.

 

"Why, Hyung?" WooHyun's voice tried to crack open the solid rock. "Why didn't you tell me you were this sick?"

 

It was then that the question made a bridge so sadness could overtake him.

 

"...when was I supposed to tell you?" SungGyu's expression slightly softened as he let go of that question. His shoulders were hunched with the released weight. "When you stabbed me in the back?" He paused, taking a moment to control his shaking voice. Voice that was now permanently coated with a raspy sound. "When you cowardly left our bedroom?" A sad smile crept its way as he finally let his eyes meet WooHyun's. SungGyu was no longer able to act like an analphabet. The pain he was giving him was clear but not as clear as the pain WooHyun had given to him. "Or when you were too angered with SungYeol's latest scandal? When WooHyun? When?" He lastly whispered. He didn't sound demanding, in all, it just carried disappointment and the hurt he had been holding.

 

There was no need for an answer, for nothing WooHyun said could have the power fix what had been done.

 

 

 

 

 

Ranting Zone,

I shall take this little space to make some announcements.

To begin with, thank you for the love and nice words you've given to my fanfic. 115 upvotes and 732 subscribrers.. wow, it was a while ago that someone made me realize I really had lots of readers... that keeps me motivated and wanting to do a good job with now the end of this long fanfiction. Just so you know, this pretty fanfic will be two years old next august. Time does fly, huh? I'm really grateful for the people that has been there from the very beginning, for the people that has taken some of their time to send me inbox and the ones that are silent and the ones that do write comments.. thank you all.

Also, I will tell you guys that this will have two (maybe three) more chapters plus the epilogue. 

Thank you