CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE:Rebelling

 

 

Shamelessly, SungJong opened wide his mouth letting out another rebellious yawn. If SungGyu had been more energetic, he would've teased the younger male. Instead, he patted his knee in a comforting way. On cue, SungJong scrunched his eyes. It was obvious he wanted to rub them and he was doing a pretty good job fighting against the urge. His face was completely filled with makeup and the makeup artist would throw a fit if she saw him act upon his instincts. The woman was rather passionate about her job. 

 

"Take a nap, Jonggie. WooHyun's gonna take a while," DongWoo made a gesture towards the set where their lead singer was filming a shot. 

 

SungJong snorted. “I’m not as desperate as L-hyung.”

 

As soon as he said it, the reunited members' gaze flew directly to the far corner where two chairs were placed strategically together, holding carefully the group's visual. MyungSoo's lips were slightly parted, letting his soothing breath lullaby his dreams. It sometimes surprised them how easy it was for him to fall asleep. 

 

"God, I don't know what's worse," Hoya's voice suddenly appeared as the sound of a chair being pulled made them turn to the arrived member. Without grace, the dancer handled a Vitaminwater to the youngest in the group. His bottle was already half empty. "The fact that we've been here for almost a day or the fact that even if it's the middle of the night, the heat doesn't go down."

 

“The heat.” SungJong answered without hesitation.

 

"And even with it, MyungSoo-ya manages to sleep," DongWoo chuckled gently before his gaze caught their leader's frame. "Ain't you hot, Hyung?" 

 

As soon as he heard the question, SungGyu's body pulled slightly backwards. The younger members turned interestedly to him. It was true the weather was really warm that night. But SungGyu felt cold. He couldn't take off the only source of heat he had, the kacket chosen for him in their wardrobe. 

 

“Kind of,” he murmured but it was covered with the maknae’s snort.

 

"Hyung's too lazy to take it off," SungJong concluded giving their leader an innocent smile. Leave the members to aid him from making excuses.

 

“Yah,” SungGyu whined out of habit.

 

“Ah, right, Hyung. JungRyul-hyung wanted you to meet him,” Hoya seemed to remember as he pressed his empty bottle. A pretty loud noise came from the action making some of the staff turn at them.

 

“What for?”

 

“I have no idea.”

 

If he could he wouldn't have moved until they were called to the set again. SungGyu felt too tired to move and his legs ached a lot, still he rose from the metallic chair in search for their manager. Hoya said he last saw him smoking a cigarette outside the building with some of the staff members. 

 

It didn't take long for SungGyu to reach the open area. The indirect lights illuminated the people there. Between them, was his makeup artist. She had a slight worried look on her face as she talked in a hurried way to Infinite's manager. No one seemed to pay attention to them too busy in their own conversations. The moment SungGyu entered the woman's view area, she stopped talking. Slowly, JungRyul turned to where she was looking. For an instant their eyes connected but JungRyul broke the contact as he turned to say something to the woman, a small pat on the shoulder was given before he walked to where SungGyu was now standing. Before he could even ask, JungRyul told him to follow him. 

 

“Get in.”

 

SungGyu blinked looking from their black van to their manager. Was he serious?

 

“But, Hyung, we’re not done yet.”

 

“Just get in, SungGyu.”

 

This was said as the van's door was pulled open. The idol stared for a moment at his manager's serious expression before he did as he was told. What he didn't expect was for JungRyul to follow him inside too. With a soft noise the door got closed locking them both inside the group's vehicle. JungRyul didn't even try to reach for the van's light. The light from outside was the only thing that illuminated them. 

 

The sound of the leather could be perfectly heard as SungGyu shifted uncomfortably in the seat. After a prolongued pause, SungGyu found himself playing dumb. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“You tell me what’s wrong, SungGyu.”

 

There weren’t many times when he had seen that exasperated look on JungRyul’s face. He was a rather peaceful, patient man but he was human. A smart one who didn’t need an answer to his demand. The only thing SungGyu could do was let an incredulous smile cover slowly his tired features.

 

“So, she told you.”

 

“Of course she did,” JungRyul’s voice rose slightly before his had went to reach for SungGyu’s forehead. The younger didn’t even try to dodge the contact. He had been caught. A desperate groan came from the manager when he noticed the difference in their temperatures. “You’re burning, SungGyu—”

 

“I know,” SungGyu didn’t deny it. He was pretty aware of his condition and he had intended to talk with the manager if he found himself in need of medicament. Well, now it was a good opportunity to do it. “You have my medicine, Hyung. Could you give me some of it?”

 

SungGyu perfectly saw how the older man’s gaze turned shaper. He seemed mad and SungGyu could only feel apologetic towards him. But only that. He wasn’t going to do more.

 

“You should’ve told me sooner,” after a moment of silence, JungRyul gave in.

 

“I wanted to take the medicine after we were done,” SungGyu looked at his manager reaching for a small black backpack. The same one the man had been carrying for some days now. “It makes me drowsy.”

 

“You’re almost done with the music video,” JungRyul sighed before giving him two small pills and a bottle of water. His eyes didn’t stop from looking at the young Idol as he took the given medicine. “Will you be able to handle it?”

 

“Yes.”
 

“And tomorrow?” JungRyul asked before he shook his head slowly. “And what about the day after tomorrow?”

 

“Hyung,” SungGyu closed the screw cap of the bottle. His voice came soft. “One day at a time.”

 

 

♫

 

 

Droplet by droplet, together they created a subtle and harmonious melody as they ended their lives while crashing into the floor to ceiling window from the dark  living room. Finally it was raining in Seoul. At least for a while, the weather was getting colder with the summer rain.

 

An almost full mug was forgotten on the coffee table – its liquid already cold. MyungSoo had prepared it but he erased it existence from his mind the moment  he sat on the leather sofa. His sharp orbs were busy looking at the sleeping city, its perpetual lights illuminating some of the building’s faces. But unlike his eyes. His mind wasn’t admiring the view, it was rather somewhere far from it. From the dorm and from the human reach. His mind was far inside of him. Into his thoughts and feelings. Yet a faint cough brought him back to the place he had called home for some years now. The cough was followed by some light footsteps.

 

“Oh...”

 

It came soft but it was enough to make MyungSoo turn to the source of that voice.

 

“Hyung,” he had been right when he expected to see their leader standing a few metres away from him – there was a pretty peculiar thing in the way he coughed. SungGyu had an expression filled with fatigue, but there was a soft smile crowning his lips. Soon it got erased as a soft cough bloomed from them. That distinctive cough.

 

“Why are you still here? Aren’t you done packing?” SungGyu asked after he was done coughing.

 

MyungSoo said nothing, he just eyed his header and his wary form. A yellow pill container was held in his hand before he hid it into his pants’ pocket. Soon their eyes connected.

 

“I’m almost done with it,” he finally answered. The sofa moved slightly as SungGyu took a seat on the opposite side of it. There was a fair distance between both members. “Why are you awake?”

 

“The rain,” SungGyu said as a lightning illuminated their features for just mere seconds.. MyungSoo nodded slowly, deciding to believe the lie. “I hope our flight doesn’t get cancelled.”

 

“...I hope it does.”

 

Unconsciously, MyungSoo pulled the smaller quilt he had over his shoulders closer to his chest as the thunder finally growled. His wish got almost covered by its sound but it didn’t, reaching SungGyu’s ears. He looked half surprised at the younger’s serene façade.

 

The days had passed rather quickly and like that they found themselves a few hours away of leaving for Music Core’s special edition in Bangkok. That night they had arrived relatively early to pack and prepare for the airport. They were supposed to wake up early to hit the hair salon first.

 

While the other members had quickly done their suitcases to grab a few more hours of sleep. MyungSoo had taken his time doing it, or rather divagating. He didn’t have the will to pack and less to leave their country, Seoul, their dorm—

 

“Does this have something to do with SungYeol?” SungGyu almost hesitated in his question when he caught MyungSoo’s gaze. For the first time his eyes were revealing him more than he wanted to say and MyungSoo didn’t know if it was because he had his guard down or because it was something he actually had no control over. His eyes were deceiving. Even for him.

 

After an uncomfortable silence, MyungSoo nodded.

 

“I feel that,” L started slowly, “the moment we take that plane, he’s not going to form part of us anymore.”

 

“How could you even think—”

 

“Even if the company say it’s for a while. Whatever Woollim or SM says, they are obviously trying to erase any trace of SungYeol’s existence,” MyungSoo frowned, his whispers came in an angry tone. “The dance, the music video and now even a special stage out of Korea.”  

 

When SungGyu sighed, MyungSoo felt the older was finally thinking the same way he did. So, he didn’t sound like paranoid person.

 

“Then why is he still at the dorm, MyungSoo?”

 

That had been a question he had never asked himself. Same question that brought some light to his darkened thoughts.

 

“We’ll go to Bangkok. We’ll promote and when we come back we’ll go to SungYeol’s next hearing to support him,” SungGyu rested a hand on MyungSoo’s shoulders. The weight seemed comforting for the younger. “The truth will surely appear, Soo-ya. Have faith.”

 

“How do you know, Hyung?”

 

“I just know,” the older man said with a stupid grin that managed to reach MyungSoo’s soul. WIthout a warning, the older stood up. “Now get some sleep. Cameras will follow us all morning.”

 

He gave a soft nod to his leader as he watched him make a beeline to the kitchen, his mind suddenly crashing with a persistent memory.  

 

“Hyung,” MyungSoo’s voice called, stopping the man for entering the place. When he got SungGyu’s attention, he found himself momentarily speechless. “Say… what goes first? What you desperately want, or what Infinite deeply needs?”

 

Did he had a reason for asking that question? He wasn’t so sure but somehow MyungSoo felt he had to listen to their leader’s answer. The hum that came was something he didn’t expect but the moment his eyes caught sight of the serious expression on SungGyu, MyungSoo decided to wait.

 

“Well, it doesn’t really matter what goes first,” after some moments SungGyu spoke. His shoulder leaning lazily on the door frame. “After all, we’ve reached a point where whatever we want won’t hurt Infinite, right?”

 

Was this the answer he was expecting? No. This was far from the answer MyungSoo was unconsciously wanting to listen to. The simple fact that he didn’t get it made his blood start to boil. Why? MyungSoo was never sure of his own feelings.

 

“Then what about SungYeol?”

 

The confused look on SungGyu proved he wasn’t on the same line. “What about him?”

 

“For-for wanting something so desperately,” MyungSoo’s voice was rushed and clumsy, “he hurt Infinite—”

 

“And himself in the process,” SungGyu interrupted him. The confused role was inversed. “There are ways to get what one wants. If SungYeol had been free from the very beginning, the scandal would’ve never happened. Infinite would’ve never gotten hurt and he would’ve never found himself meeting lawyers and a jury.”

 

At that, MyungSoo rose from the sofa. His hands turning into unpleased fist. “What are you implying?”

 

“I’m not a fool MyungSoo. Apart from you, we were the only ones that knew his secret,” SungGyu said while crossing arms. “I always told him he should open up to the other members. He didn’t listen and for that he ended up doing it the hardest way possible—he’s not even done yet.”

 

MyungSoo had heard from DongWoo, he knew the older member was aware of it too. And he had seen WooHyun asking curiously SungYeol about some male celebrities’ looks. That made four of them knowing.  

 

“Infinite needs the truth to function and SungYeol was desperately needing to get free from his own dungeon. There’s no mistake when people say that the truth will set one free.”

 

Irony or not, MyungSoo couldn’t stop from snorting “Then what about you, Hyung? Huh?” The teasing look got instantly erased as he glared at his leader, his eyes reaching the older’s core. “When the will you tell us the truth?”

 

He didn’t want to listen to the answer. Not right then. So without saying another thing, he left.

 

MyungSoo was tired of it. Of them hiding and making things more complicated. Wants and needs. It was true what SungGyu had said, what one wants should be what Infinite needs. But it just works as long as they thought like a group and not like a individual. The moment they signed the contract and became a group they had stopped looking for just themselves. It had been a silent agreement that at some point the members had broke. Looking after their wants and needs. Forgetting that the others were there to help and not to hurt. They had pushed and pulled and MyungSoo had tried so hard to not see, to act indifferently so they could keep going. He had believed that was the best thing he could do being one of the youngest. But running away from the problems and hiding wasn’t really working. Yes, he had tried to do what the others wanted to, just to gain stability in the group, he had tried to ignore the others’ hidden actions and thoughts in order to keep the group at ease but that wasn’t the way they had been functioning for the past years and it surely wasn’t the best way to go on. This was obviously not helping them at all.

 

“Aish,” MyungSoo groaned to himself the moment he felt his warm cheeks being marked with the soft trace of his tears. He was feeling so desperate and inutile. Furiously he dried his face with the back of his arm. His effort came in vain.

 

MyungSoo didn’t want to think about it, but SungGyu had lost the power of the group the moment they started to push and pull in fear. And right now, whatever was going on with their leader, it made him unable to try and take the power back. Right now, even if it hurt MyungSoo to admit it, Infinite had no leader.

 

 

♫

 

 

“Yah! Who took my BB cream?!”

 

It was loud but it barely managed to be audible for all the noise the dorm had at the moment and the deaf ears. Suitcases were being moved, things were thrown to other places and the Infinite members kept running from one place to another, their minds remembering everything they had placed on their suitcases. This was pretty much how their mornings before leaving to the airport were. A complete chaos that had never ceased to happen, not even if they had a whole week to prepare their suitcases. It always happened.  

 

“Didn’t you lend it to DongWoo-hyung last night?” SungJong, who had been the closest to the stressed member, reminded him getting a blank look from where he was sitting.

 

“Ah, that’s right,” WooHyun lowered his shoulders, releasing the air he had been holding. “Then that means I’m done with—Yah! Watch out, you idiot!”

 

WooHyun’s hand had almost been trodden by Hoya, who had ran from one side of the dorm to another, ignoring completely the advice given by the singer. SungJong tried hard to hide his grin at the interaction between both older members.

 

“I bet he lost his contact lenses.”

 

“He better not,” their leader’s voice sounded from behind them. With it came the sound of wheels. “Are you ready? Hyung sent me a text. He’s almost here so we need to go down in five.”

 

A curse was heard as SungGyu informed them.

 

“Well, at least we are,” SungJong nodded slightly, answering for him and WooHyun, who was busy struggling with his suitcase. A triumphant smile covered his features when he managed to close it.

 

“Guys, are you sure we’re gonna eat something in the hair salon? I’m really hungry,” DongWoo was the next to appear in the living room. Without much care he placed his suitcase on the entrance, not before pushing some shoes from the small area. On top of it was his backpack.

 

“Geonam-hyung promised us,” SungGyu reassured the younger member. It was then that SungYeol appeared from the biggest bedroom. He was wide awake even if it was an ungodly hour in the morning. MyungSoo on the other side, had a half awake look on his face.

 

“I hope it’s not only bread,” the visual mumbled taking a seat on his suitcase. It slightly rolled but got stopped by SungYeol’s knee. Finally Hoya joined the members in the living room. There were no rimmed lenses framing his eyes anymore.

 

“MyungSoo, did you even wash your face?” WooHyun snorted at ’s state.

 

“He didn’t. I did it for him,” SungYeol informed with a non-charlatan look. DongWoo chuckled at the image.

 

“What would L-hyung do without SungYeol-hyung?” SungJong wondered out loud as he started to put on his backpack.

 

“He’s pretty capable of doing things on his own.”

 

They had always said MyungSoo depended sometimes way too much on SungYeol, and it had always been more of a game than a reality but the way Hoya had said that phrase not only surprised the members but got them rather uncomfortable.

 

“Well, yeah, he’s capable,” SungYeol broke the pregnant pause before offering his hand to help WooHyun get up from the floor. “Either way, you better hurry, guys.”

 

“You’re right. Let’s go, kids,” SungGyu hurried the members to the entrance like a shepherd dog moving sheep. The sound of their suitcases’ wheels filling the dorm. It was funny how that sound made the dorm feel almost empty. “We’ll be back real soon, Yeol-ah. Be good and keep up with your schedule.”

 

“Yes, Hyung,” SungYeol rolled his eyes, gaining some rather unorthodox pats on his back.

 

“Don’t slack off just ‘cause we aren’t around, got it?” WooHyun chuckled from the floor where he was putting on his white Converse. Hoya was already at the door, pushing the suitcases from the entrance to the building’s hall.

 

“As if,” he snorted as he got engulfed by a bear hug courtesy of their maknae.

 

“If you feel lonely you can text me, okay?” SungJong offered before letting go. Although his voice sounded playful, there was a serious feeling wandering in his eyes.

 

“Or call me,” DongWoo popped into the offer with a wide grin, his backpack placed at the front of his chest. Shoes already on.

 

“You’ll be too busy to remember I exist,” SungYeol joked, leaning on the small entrance wall. Seeing the members pulling their suitcases out was somehow painful, still he was standing there, wishing them a good flight.

 

“Don’t burn the house,” HoWon advised as he left SungJong cross the entrance door.

 

“Hoya, I’m not a pyromaniac,” SungYeol said as he reached the border between the hall and the entrance where the river of shoes were.

 

He was ready to received the last farewell from MyungSoo. Their eyes met for some instants before the younger extended his hand. SungYeol blinked at the gesture but still accepted it. What he didn’t expect was to be pulled to the shoes’ area. He tripped over some sneakers but was held in place by MyungSoo .  

 

“Yah, let go. You’re gonna be late.”

 

“You’re really planning on going without shoes?” MyungSoo asked, still not letting go of SungYeol’s hand. It was warm and soft, unlike his calloused one.

 

“What?”

 

Not only SungYeol but DongWoo and SungJong asked believing it was just a prank from their visual, but his face held no trace of mischief. The young male as as serious as his voice had sounded.

 

“Get your shoes and lets go,” MyungSoo pulled SungYeol’s hand before he looked to where the other members were waiting. Between the incredulous gazes, MyungSoo’s eyes got connected with HoWon’s displeased ones.

 

“Stop playing around, MyungSoo. We’re gonna be late,” it was SungGyu that spoke first but the young male didn’t move an inch from where he was standing. SungJong was surprised at the young man’s stubbornness.

 

“MyungSoo,” SungYeol murmured, his expression was a troubled one, still he didn’t try to let his hand free from the grip.

 

“Let go of his hand,” Hoya hissed, as he tried to reach for them. The ocean of suitcases in the small hall made it quite hard. “Let go of him and—”

 

“I’m not leaving without him,”  MyungSoo stated, his grip turning firmer. “Put on your shoes, Yeol.”

 

WooHyun blinked shocked at the younger’s attitude. When had L turned this stubborn?  It was then that their leader’s phone went off. Geonam was calling. “Are you seriously doing this now?”

 

“Aish!” Hoya pulled MyungSoo’s arm but the younger yanked it right away. Ignoring his fallen suitcase, he kneeled to grab the first pair of sneakers he saw before pushing them to SungYeol’s chest. “MyungSoo! Even if you want to. He has no ticket to fly with us.”

 

“No Sherlock,” MyungSoo snarled back making SungGyu open his mouth.

 

“Yah!”

 

“Hyung, can’t SungYeol go with us to the hair salon?” MyungSoo ignored the angered look on Hoya’s face. He wasn’t planning on listening to him either way. “Can’t he go tell us goodbye at the airport? Why the hell do we keep hiding him? He did nothing wrong!”

 

SungJong turned to look at SungGyu with his hopeful eyes. “Is that even possible?”

 

“MyungSoo has a point.” DongWoo’s soft voice  got into their conversation.

 

“He can’t! There will be cameras everywhere,” Hoya tried to resonate with them. “Guys!”

 

“And?” MyungSoo frowned. “It’s not like he doesn’t form part of Infinite.”

 

“Hyung!” Hoya found himself turning to his last hope, SungGyu. He couldn’t let this craziness go on. There were things that could be done and others that weren’t acceptable but the conflicted look on their leader made his hope lower. This was just too surreal.  

 

“SungYeol,” unlike how he looked, SungGyu’s voice came secure. “Hurry up and grab a jacket.”

 

 

Ranting Zone,

Guys, 86 upvotes and we're 5 subscribers to reach 600. This is more than I could've ever asked for. I feel really happy and terribly sorry for you. My english is getting worse and I'm taking longer than expected.. sorry everyone, but thanks for still being here with me. It took me all day to write this, I literally have a headache right now but I couldn't move from my laptop (yes I finally have my own laptop!!) until I was done with this chapter.  

Things are moving faster now, and MyungSoo started to take action. I wonder if he's still a mystery to you guys. We're counting backwards now and you don't know how happy and sad it makes me at the same time.  I would love to hear your thoughts and well, anything that you would like to tell me. Comments keep me motivated. That's the nature of a writer.. 

Thank you, and see you soon.