"Good morning!"

Lay grunted in response and stumbled towards the fridge. He had a massive headache and his queasy, soju-filled stomach was audibly protesting. How the hell was Tao so chipper in the morning? And had his voice always been this low...?

He rubbed his eyes and almost fell over in shock. It wasn't Tao standing in the kitchen wearing the frilly pink apron. It was Kris.

"I made breakfast," Kris said brightly as he handed him a bowl of rice porridge that was a noxious shade of khaki green. "Eat up. It'll help with the hangover."

Lay was tempted to refuse (Kris was notorious for poisoning victims with his horrendous cooking) but he had yet to figure out why their resident Sleeping Beauty was up before noon, humming while he bustled around the kitchen. He took a tentative sip and fought the urge to spit it all out.  

"It's not bad," he said, flashing a weak smile. "It just needs a little more seasoning. Here, let me help." Looking pleased with himself, Kris handed him the ladle and stepped aside. It would take some D.O.-like culinary magic to undo the havoc Kris had wreaked with hot sauce and green onions, but he could probably make the thing borderline edible for the others.

As he stirred the contents of the pot, Lay dug into his blurry memories of last night. The plan had been to get the two leaders drunk enough to reconcile but he and Tao had passed out earlier than intended. The next thing he remembered was someone ushering him into the apartment elevator and guiding him to his room. Something must have happened when he was unconscious, something drastic enough to account for Kris's strange behaviour.

"Uh, sorry about last night," Lay muttered. "I'll pay you back-"

"No worries," Kris said airily, waving his hand. "Treating my team to dinner is the least I can do as a leader. Think of it as a thank you for all the hard work you've put in this past month." Lay waited for Kris to laugh and demand half of his next paycheque, but the easy smile on Kris's face seemed oddly genuine.

"Morning Chen-Chen," Kris called out cheerfully when Chen entered the kitchen. "Did you sleep well?" Chen nodded, glancing warily at their esteemed leader as he took careful steps towards the table.

"Excellent!" Kris stood and clapped him on the back. "Keep up the great work, okay? I'll see you two later. Gotta run." He made for the door with his coffee mug in hand. As the door closed behind him, Chen turned to Lay, astonishment written across his face.

"Did he just call me Chen-Chen?"

*****

The team, minus the two leaders (who had been summoned for some important SM TOWN concert matters), were gathered in the dance studio for their scheduled practice.

"What happened last night?" Chanyeol asked as he stretched out his long legs.

"Tao and I took Suho out for a few drinks," Lay said with a shrug.

"So it's all your fault," Sehun snapped. Lay blinked, surprised by the annoyance in the maknae's usually monotone voice. "He set a password for the wireless connection so I had no Internet access the entire morning."

"He dragged me out of bed at eight and made me do sit-ups for half an hour," Kai grumbled.

"He confiscated my collection."

"He threw my Taeyeon pillow at the wall!"

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Lay yelled over the deluge of complaints.  

"Suho's been a little on edge," D.O. explained. "It's not like him to lose his temper so we were wondering if he and Kris fought again last night."

"Um, about that."  Lay cleared his throat and glanced around guiltily. "We kind of passed out so we actually don't know what happened between the two of them. Kris has been pretty weird too. He's less angry than usual."

Suddenly, Xiumin let out a gasp and they all turned to him expectantly. "They must have drank some sketchy potion like in 'Secret Garden' and swapped bodies!"

Xiumin let out a sigh when it became evident that no one had understood his drama reference. "You guys ," he muttered before walking away.

Tags: idiots, cold war

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