“Hyung..” Chanyeol called the older man beside him.

“………” Kris gave him no answer but kept reading his self-improvement book.

“Yifan hyung…” Chanyeol’s voice became slightly more urgent.

“Hmmmm?” he answered without taking his eyes off the book.

“….let’s break up.” Chanyeol said those three words slowly, pain reflected all over his beautiful face. A face that used to be all smiles. A face of a happy virus.

Hearing those words, Kris turned to see the younger boy’s expression beside him. There’s a mixed emotions dwelling inside his chest. Kris continued to look at Chanyeol with a blank expression for 30 seconds straight before finally said “….okay.” and went back to read his book.

Chanyeol turned to Kris with tears brimmed in his doe eyes, surprised by the answer. He thought Kris would take his request as an utter nonsense. He thought Kris would hold his hands and ask him to stay. He thought Kris would, at least, ask why.

“Don’t you feel anything, hyung? Are you happy now?”

Kris only raised one of his eyebrows.

“Hyung…. Don’t you love me?” a single tear finally escaping through Chanyeol’s left eye.

‘Of course I love you, my giant baby Chanyeollie.. Why do you think I sit here beside you and cuddle you every night when you sleep?’ Kris wanted to scream those words to Chanyeol but there’s no single word coming from his lips..

“I want to be happy, hyung.. I want to be happy with you, because of you.. But it seems that I’m the only one enjoying this past 3 months we’re together.”

Kris was not a man of words. He couldn’t express his feeling well. So there he was, watching the boy he loved start to sob in front of him without doing anything.

“So I guess you don’t have anything to say to me, right, hyung?” Chanyeol waited, his cheeks glistened with tears.

‘I want to tell you so many things, Chanyeol-ah.. But I don’t know where to start.’ the only thing that came out from Kris was just a heavy sigh.

“Alright then. I’m sorry if I had been a burden to you hyung, I swear I didn’t mean it.” there’s a hint of forced smile playing in Chanyeol’s mouth corner.

“…and thank you, for everything.” Chanyeol got up and brushed his lips on Kris’s left cheek before stormed out from the room. A farewell kiss.

The one I love is leaving me.
I didn’t even get to say one excuse.
The one I love wants to be happy.
I didn’t even get to plead.

**

/flashback/

“Hyung! Hyung! Yifan hyuuuuung~!”

“What is it, Chanyeol-ah?” Kris sighed.

“Let’s go shopping later!” said Chanyeol as he grabbed Kris’s hand and drew circles in his palm.

“I can’t. I need to pick Tao from his wushu practice.” Yes, Tao was Kris’s favorite dongsaeng. Chanyeol knew it but he still wanted to try.

“Hmmm how about having dinner together hyung?”

“How about next time?”

Although Chanyeol already prepared himself for a rejection, he still felt a little pang of hurt in his heart. Because this wasn’t the first time Kris ignored his request.

Realizing that the boy had been silent for 5 minutes, Kris looked up and poked Chanyeol’s arm.

“Yeol-ah?” no answer “Chanyeol-ah, are you angry?” asked Kris with his hand Chanyeol’s left cheek.

Chanyeol snapped back to reality and put his hand on top of Kris’s hand in his cheek.

“No, hyung. Why would I be angry?” he plastered a big grin on his face and left Kris alone in his room.

‘No, hyung. I’m not angry. I’m just a little disappointed.’ mumbled Chanyeol as his grin slowly faded from his face.

**

“Let’s go watch The Avengers, hyung! I already got two tickets for us.” Chanyeol happily waved the tickets in his hands.

“I don’t know if I can, Yeol-ah.”

“Awww come on, hyung. It’s been a while since our last date.”

“I can’t promise you anything. I’ve still got loads of work to do tonight.”

“Whatever, hyung. The film is gonna be started at 8pm and I’ll wait for you there so be sure to come, okay?” Chanyeol one ticket to Kris’s hand and gave the older boy a light peck on his lips.

 7.30pm

 Chanyeol stood near the theater’s cafe and waited for Kris with a big bucket of popcorn in his hands.

 7.50pm

 ‘Where’s Kris hyung? The film is going to be started in 10 minutes..’ Chanyeol tapped his feet anxiously and tried to call Kris but no response from him.

 8.10pm

 ‘Should I go in first? Kris hyung maybe stuck in a traffic jam or something.’ with a last look at his watch Chanyeol decided to go in first and waited for Kris inside.

Chanyeol waited and waited some more but Kris didn’t come.

Chanyeol barged into Kris’s room and found his boyfriend sitting in the couch with an Ipad in his lap.

“What are you doing here hyung?!” yelled Chanyeol.

“I’m working.” answered Kris as he pointed the pile of papers and files beside him.

“Don’t you listen to the things I told you this afternoon, hyung?!”

Kris only looked at Chanyeol with his i-dunno-what-is-your-problem-but-please-calm-down look.

And then Chanyeol went to the bathroom and started to rummage Kris’s laundry basket.

“What are you doing, Chanyeol-ah? It’s dirty!” called Kris as he stood up.

“I’ll tell you what hyung.” Chanyeol glared at Kris as he straightened his back.

“This ‘dirty’ little thing. Do you know what is this?” Chanyeol took out the crumpled ticket from Kris’s jeans pocket and waved it in front of him.

Kris stared at that thing for a while and suddenly he realized what that thing is.

‘! How could I forget that?! Stupid Kris! Stupid!’

“Oh. I forgot.” said Kris with blank expression.

Chanyeol smirked and said “sure you forgot. It’s not an important thing anyway.” he squished the crumpled paper and threw it into the dustbin on the corner.

‘I’m so sorry, my giant baby. What should I do to make you forgive me?’

“Look, Chanyeol-ah. You know that I have lots of work—”

“Oh forget it hyung. I’m tired too, you know.” Chanyeol walked past Kris and yanked Kris’s grip on his wrist.

‘I know you’re busy, hyung. But don’t you feel sorry at all?’

**

Kris had not met Chanyeol again since the movie incident couple days before. He tried to call the younger boy several times but ended up to the mailbox, but at least Chanyeol still replied his text messages. Kris missed Chanyeol. He knew that he needed to apologize but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Yesterday Kris came to Chanyeol’s college, planning to take him for lunch and talk to him. He did see Chanyeol, but not his happy virus Chanyeol. The boy came out from his class with his friends and he looked so tired.

“Chanyeol-ah, what’s wrong with you? You looked like a mess since couple days ago.” Suho asked.

Chanyeol who had been spacing out jerked his head and put his usual grin on his pretty face. “eeeh? What are you talking about hyung? I’m okay, you know. Maybe I’m just a bit tired because of all those tasks and assignments. Hehehe.”

“If you’re tired you should rest, Chanyeol-ah. Don’t force yourself, it’s not good.” said Suho sympathetically.

“Yeah, hyung. Maybe I should rest.” mumbled Chanyeol as he started to space out again.

And in the end, Kris had his lunch without Chanyeol.

Kris was close to sleep when he suddenly heard the sound of his door being opened. The familiar scent of his lover boy was creeping to his senses. Without opening his eyes he adjusted his position and laid comfortably on the bed, welcoming the newcomer.

A familiar warm feeling crawled behind Kris’s back as a hand rested in his stomach. “hyung~ are you sleeping?” whispered Chanyeol.

Kris turned around and slid his left arm under Chanyeol’s neck. “uh-hum” answered Kris as he his lover’s hair. Chanyeol didn’t say anything and the silence was uncomfortable for Kris because he knew the boy’s still awake.

“Are you okay, Yeol-ah? What’s wrong?” Kris finally opened his eyes and studied the face in front of his.

“No, no, no I’m okay, hyung. It’s just that… I have lots of thought in my mind.”

“Mind to share?”

Chanyeol just smiled and shook his head lightly.

“Stop thinking and let’s get some sleep, Chanyeol-ah.” said Kris as he pulled his love in a tight embrace. Chanyeol nodded and snuggled deeper on Kris’s chest, hiding the tears that slowly streamed down his face. And that’s the last night that Chanyeol and Kris spent together.

Because I was a hopeless fool
who ignored your once sad face
just because I was too busy.

I didn’t know then. I didn’t know how to love.
So I left you alone.

Even saying sorry seemed awkward
so I just let it go pretending not to know.

/end flashback/

**

“You need to go back to Canada soon, Mr. Wu.” the voice of his father’s secretary made Kris frown.

“What happened?” Kris replied in English.

“There’s a problem with one of the contract details. You need to come here and help us to negotiate with Lewis, co.”

“But I still got some works to finish here, Mr. Thomas. I can’t just abandon these things and go back to Canada.” Kris sighed.

“You can go back to Korea once the problem is solved, Mr. Wu. In the mean time, regarding your work, you will be assisted by your secretary.” there’s that finality in his father secretary’s tone that Kris didn’t even try to argue.

“Alright, then.”

“Thank you, Mr. Wu. You will take tomorrow’s last flight to Canada. Your father wants you to take the first flight but considering that you need to prepare I pushed back the schedule. The ticket will be delivered by your secretary tomorrow morning.”

“Okay.”

Kris already finished preparing his luggage. He didn’t bring a lot of clothes because there were still plenty of his clothes left in his house. He only brought his jacket — Chanyeol’s favorite jacket.

Kris’ secretary had freed him from other schedules in order to prepare his things, but since it only took a short time, Kris had a spare time now. He decided to visit Chanyeol’s apartment that wasn’t too far from his condo.

From afar, Kris could see Chanyeol’s bouncing down the stairs of his apartment. He decided to stop and hide behind a car, but close enough to hear Chanyeol’s deep voice.

“Morning, Chen-chen!! Did you wait long?” Chanyeol happily greeted his friend.

“Nope, in fact I just came a minute ago.” this so-called-Chen-guy smiled and Chanyeol smiled back to him.

“Let’s go now. We still need to get our project done before class.” Chanyeol threw his long arm around Chen’s shoulder.

Kris watched this scene with a bitter smile. “I’m glad to see you smile, Yeol-ah.”

Kris headed to Chanyeol’s apartment and stood in front of his door, he wondered whether he should go in or not. He decided to try his luck and pressed the number in the lock-key. …1…1…0…6, his birthday. There’s a “click” sound and Kris overwhelmed with the familiar scent of Chanyeol. It’s been a long time since the last time Kris came there and nothing’s changed. Kris decided to take a nap and snuggle in Chanyeol’s bed because he knew that the boy wouldn’t be coming home until evening. Chanyeol always whined that his schedule on Monday was so packed that he couldn’t even get his lunch. Kris, being a passive lover he was, only ruffled Chanyeol’s curly mop and smiled.

Kris awoke abruptly because of the incoming call from his secretary.

“What?? What time is it?” Kris groaned.

“It’s 6.30 P.M, Sir. I just want to remind you that your flight is in 3 hours, Sir. I will send a chauffeur to pick you up in one hour.”

“Okay.” Kris ended the call as he walked to the fridge to drink some water. He looked around to the dorm but as expected Chanyeol hadn’t been home yet.

Kris couldn’t bring himself to call Chanyeol and tell him that he’s going to Canada, so he wrote him a note.

I’m sorry, Chanyeollie..

Because I didn’t know how to love you, I’m sorry.

I’m leaving for Canada tonight.

Take care, my giant baby.

I only have apology for you.
I can only say good bye to you.
While my heart is crying.

I didn’t know then. I didn’t know how to love.
I didn’t know how to embrace you.
So I didn’t know your fragile heart breaking down
and heartlessly turned away.

**

Chanyeol came home in 8 PM, dragged his steps tiredly to his bedroom when he suddenly noticed a pink post-it note on his fridge. His face flashed a shock expression as he read the note. He cursed under his breath and dashed to the door. He forced his tired legs to run. Run. And run again. It’s always like this. Chanyeol always run to Kris, and yet Kris …in the end always left him alone.

**

3 months later

The first thing Kris did when he arrived in Korea was heading to Chanyeol’s apartment. He missed the boy so much. He didn’t even care if the boy gave him cold shoulder and reject him. He’s going to beg, or even kneeled, for a second chance. He wanted to start anew with Chanyeol.

Kris pressed the door bell with a fluttering heart. He pressed again but no one opened the door. He tried to press the password in the lock-key but it failed. He checked the mailbox but there’s no letter to Park Chanyeol.

‘Did he move out?’ Kris mumbled as he left the place.

But Kris wouldn’t give up. He wouldn’t give up his 3 months of yearning just because he couldn’t found Chanyeol in his apartment. He walked to Chanyeol’s university and waited for him in front of the gate.

10 minutes… 30 minutes… An hour passed but still no Chanyeol. Kris sighed as he remembered the film incident. ‘Did you wait for me like this, Yeol-ah? I’m so sorry. I promised I won’t make you wait for me again. From now on, I’ll wait for you.’ Kris promised to himself.

Two hours had passed when Kris spotted Chanyeol’s friends, that Chen guy with someone named Suho if he’s not mistaken. Kris walked towards them and called the guys.

“Hey, you guys are Chanyeol’s friends, right?”

The two guys only glanced at each other and looked at Kris questioningly.

“Is Chanyeol going to campus today? I went to his apartment earlier but it seemed that he already moved out. Or can you give me his new address? I’ll go there myself.” Kris smiled as he asked the boys, giddy because the excitement of meeting Chanyeol again.

**

Kris stood in front of a glass box with code E.XO-12. He stared at the photo of a smiling boy inside the box.

“So, here you are, baby.” Kris choked on his words as tears streamed down in his face.

“I miss you so much, Chanyeol-ah. I thought you will wait for me. Did you hate me so much? Did you despise me so much that you won’t ever see me again? Tell me, Yeol-ah.” Kris screamed his words as he looked inside the box. Lots of pictures surrounded the big vase with “Park Chanyeol” written on it. Pictures of Chanyeol with his family, pictures when Chanyeol went to the beach with his college friends, and pictures of Kris. Most of their photos were taken in his bedroom. There’s a photo that made Kris slumped in the floor and started sobbing uncontrollably.

It’s a picture of him sleeping, with Chanyeol smiling beside him. This picture seemed pale in comparison with the others. Chanyeol always grinned that signature smile of his in every photo except this. It’s not a grin, only a subtle smile. And it’s not a happy smile, it’s a smile of someone who’s content and had enough. And there’s a scribble under the photo, Kris knew that Chanyeol must be trying hard to write as neat as that.

No matter how painful it is, it’s fine. Right now, at this moment, I’m happy.

Thank you, and I love you.

Now I know, I know how to love
but I have no one to love.

**

“I’m sorry, but, who are you?” Chen asked Kris.

“Oh, I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Kris.” he bowed to the two guys in front of him.

“I assume you don’t know about what happened to Chanyeol, then.” Suho glanced at Kris.

“No. What happened? I just came back from Canada this morning.” Kris started to feel worried about Chanyeol.

“Ah! So you’re that guy.” Chen snorted and looked away from Kris.

Kris looked at Suho, waiting for an answer.

“Chanyeol is gone.” Suho patted his shoulder.

“Gone? Where? Did he move to the countryside? Or did he move to another country?”

“Chanyeol is gone, forever. He got an accident three months ago and the doctor couldn’t save him.”

Kris felt his legs wobbled but Suho took his arm and prevented him from fainting.

“But why? How?”

“He got accident near Incheon airport. At first he went there by taxi but because of the traffic jam, he decided to just run there. He got hit by a truck when trying to cross the street.” Chen explained.

**

“Is it because of me, Chanyeol-ah? It must be because of me, right??” Kris punched his chest repeatedly, hoping that the pain would lessen.

“I’m sorry I broke my promise again, baby. Please, one more time, wait for me. I’ll go to you soon so please wait for me, ‘kay?” he brushed his tears from his cheeks and tried to stand up.

“You want to be happy right, Yeol-ah? I promise I’ll make you happy there. I know I’m selfish, but please, wait for me.” said Kris as he glanced to the smiling boy pictures for the last time.

In different world, I pray that it won’t be my immature love
when I really know what love is,
when I meet you again,
come into my embrace so you can only dream the happy dreams.

Even though I let you go now.

==========================

so, yeah, this is it.. /runs and hides/

sorry for the crappy plot.. :(

please do notice me if there's any typo or grammar error, I’ll change it right away.. ^^

and lastly thank you for reading this… /throws hearts/

p.s: COMMENT is ♥