You could've been the greatest,

but you'd rather get wasted

Heechul and Kangin sat silently in the living room. The TV was on but neither watched the screen. A variety show buzzed around the room, but the clock ticked louder. It was ten past three in the morning, they never knew what time to expect him back, so they just sat, waiting patiently for the reality that was their worst nightmare.

The rest of the members were in bed, but it was very unlikely that they were actually asleep. Heechul and Kangin had taken this responsibility upon themselves, not wanting the other members to see what they did every night. So they would wait in silence together, demanding that the other members stay in their rooms.

Five minutes passed, when their heads turned at the sound of a bedroom door being opened. A teary eyed Ryeowook entered the living room, they both rose to their feet simultaneously.  

"Go back to bed Ryeowook" Kangin said, walking over to him.

"No! I want to help, I want to do something! Every night I have to lay in bed hearing it all and not be able to do a thing about it!" He cried, tears flowing freely.

"I know, I know.. It's hard Wook, I know. But please, please, go back to bed. You don't have to see this, like you said, it's bad enough hearing it. Please just go back to sleep" Heechul pleaded, his arms around Ryeowook as he tried to guide him back to his room. 

"I wasn't asleep, none of us were. None of us ever are!" Ryeowook sobbed desperately.

​Shuffling was heard behind them, Kangin turned around fearing the worst, but he found Hyukjae and Sungmin walking warily into the living room. 

"Everyone back to bed. NOW!!" Kangin shouted suddenly.

Hyukjae and Sungmin stared at Kangin for a second before doing as he said, Heechul took Ryeowook back to his room. When he returned he found Kangin sat in the same spot as before.

"I never meant to shout at them" he said as Heechul returned to his earlier spot.

"I know" Heechul replied, before the silence took over them once again.

​It was 45 minutes before they heard noises coming from outside of the the front door. Kangin got there first, opening the door. Heechul instantly beside him.

In the doorway, two Japanese men, that they recognized immediately stood, two cigarettes perched from their lips. They were laughing about something.

"What the hell are you two doing here? Didn't I tell you last time?" Kangin snarled.

The blonde man, who was wearing a cloth band around his nose, threw his cigarette before stepping forward slightly.

"Oh, so you'd rather we leave him laying in the gutter? I don't mind, but I doubt he'd make it back here otherwise" he smirked.

"Shut your ing mouth Reita!" Kangin growled back, he couldn't stand these vultures.

The blonde man merely shrugged, a smile still on his face.

"You ready Ruki?" he asked the smaller brunette man next to him, who looked up, nodding.

"Yeah, we got places to be. This mess has taken up enough of our time tonight" he said casually, turning to Kangin and Heechul.

"You're lucky he's a high paying customer, frequent.. Always wanting more.. Otherwise we wouldn't be here at all" he finished. He didn't care, but his voice had the hint of evil to it. 

"What?? He thinks you're his friends!!" a small voice came from behind Heechul and Kangin.

A crying Ryeowook had appeared in the doorway, unnoticed.

"What did I say? Go back to your room!" Kangin begged desperately.

"No, no.. You should let him see.." Reita smirked, he was clearly getting a kick out of their discomfort.

"And what I mean, little one.. Is that if he didn't spend all of his money on our, let's say.. 'merchandise' shall we? Then I wouldn't give a if he was alive or not. We aren't friends, it's his payment I'm looking after, not him" Ruki stated coldly. 

Kangin was about to rip his head off when Heechul held onto his shoulder, reminding him that Ryeowook was not only standing there watching but that there were more important things to be taken care of.

"Collect your mess, he's on the staircase" Reita called, lighting another cigarette as they walked out of the hallway. 

Ryeowook started walking towards the staircase when Kangin stopped him with a firm look that told him he wasn't joking. Ryeowook went back inside the dorm, but stayed in the living room.

Heechul looked at Kangin, who ran his hands over his short hair. 

"Come on" he said, then they walked to the staircase.

Sprawled across the top step lay their precious leader, Park Jungsu.

But, it wasn't the Leeteuk they all knew and loved. Instead, in his place lay a pale, distant stranger. 

In his clearly drugged up state, he didn't even notice them approaching. 

His hands were shaking, his hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat and his shirt was ripped all up the side. 

He was bad, but they had seen him worse.

Each night they would block out the memories of him covered in sick, unable to recognize the other members or remember his own name. Each night Hyukjae would try to forget the memory of the time he came home from a late schedule, to find Leeteuk laying lifelessly outside the dorm, alone in the rain. He'd tried to carry him up but he was just too heavy. He was terrified. He had to call the others for help, sitting on the stairway, crying helplessly, with a passed out Leeteuk in his lap.

It had been the first time that anyone apart from Heechul and Kangin had seen him in that state. Even if they all knew it, the two insisted they would handle it alone. 

Leeteuk, the lovable, hard working, Super Junior leader was no more. He'd found the dangerous world of drugs, drink and their consequences. And in his eyes there was no returning.

A/N: I'm not too sure whether to make this a chaptered fic or to keep it as a shorter, 3, 4 or 5 parter?