chapter one; 

                 the moment i knew

» I was gushing and I knew it. I surprised myself with my eagerness to please, felt myself saying too much, explaining too much. overinvolved and overexcited in the way you are when you're a kid and you think you've found a soul mate in the new boy down the street and you feel yourself drawn by the force of the courtship and so act as you don't normally do and a lot more openly than you may even want to. The feeling when I'm with you, right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up when everyone else said stop trying. Nobody's going to give you anything. You've got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except for you. And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don't get it. So don't give up on your dreams.

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