Chapter 2

Luhan’s consecutive questions, out of context

“Yixing, are you ill?”

“Did you try to hug me?”

“You’re not dying?”

Yixing looks more tired nowadays. He is their dancing machine – in a style different from his counterpart in EXO-K. On stage, he gives a dazed smile as if he cannot believe his successful debut yet. The shadows that play under his eyes and the sallow tone of his skin are covered up flawlessly by make-up. It is in the dormitories when he drops onto his bed, almost dead, that his guard drops. He does not need to be perfect, or try to be perfect. He just needs a bath, do some reading, teach Chen and Xiu Min some new expressions and then sleep.

He notices that Luhan only sneaks into bed in the dead of the night. At first, he shrugs it off as Luhan having bonding time with his new ‘family’ members. EXO is close as a whole; but being on stage together to pull off a performance in synchrony means that they have to have some chemistry too. Luhan is good at that; his baby face and childish antics have a deeper, almost manipulative meaning. Yi Xing notices that in interviews, Luhan is always pushing the spotlight to the other members – an act that is something very rare in the entertainment industry. Yixing is appreciative of that; especially the cheeky way Min-Seok grabs his screen time with the mention of ‘bao’. Still, he misses his roommate even more.

He decides to confront Luhan one day.

A cup of bubble tea makes Luhan’s eyes light up. He snatches it from the table and actually cuddles it to his chest. Yi Xing laughs at this. Luhan holds the cup with both hands, his cheeks puffing out as he drank the sweet drink noisily. The way he looks down with his eyelashes almost touching his cheeks makes him look content; an expression Yixing rarely sees when they are in the same room together anymore.

“Luhan, are you angry with me?” Yixing asks abruptly, when half the cup is emptied. Half-full?

Half-empty, Yixing decides. He is more of a pessimist, really. Oops; Luhan has already drunk more than that. Never mind.

To his credit, Luhan does not spray out the drink into Yixing’s face; which they note warily is a common act of ‘aegyo’ for their senior group. He just puts down the drink with an almost forlorn expression on his face.

“We’re not supposed to drink bubble tea,” Luhan pouts, surprising Yixing, who is waiting on tenterhooks for an answer.

“You worked hard today,” Yixing waves aside. “The managers don’t know.”

“Bad influence,” counters Luhan.

“You love me anyway.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then why won’t you talk to me?”

He sees Luhan freeze, as if considering for the first time that they may be actually having a serious conversation. Luhan takes his time to look at Yixing carefully. It is the first time in days he has spent so much one-to-one time with him. Yixing looks worse. Why can nobody else see the red flush in his cheeks, the bloodshot eyes, and the clamminess in his skin?

Yixing reaches out to clap his hand on his shoulder like friends do, but Luhan scoots backwards in his chair instantly and looks at the hand with something akin to fear. If there is no further touch, it means Luhan is wrong. Silly him then! He is imagining things; this is what stress does to a person. If he remembers his biology correctly, some hormone noradrenalin is released during stress –

Then pain explodes in his mind like nothing has ever done before. Luhan is blind for a few seconds; there are yellow spots playing in front of his eyes. His breath hitches and he hyperventilates – he cannot breathe in, he cannot breathe in, what is happening? He somehow knows his hands are reaching out for nothing and then he feels the smack of his hand on skin. Help me, he wants to beg.

Suddenly, his throat stops constricting itself and he suddenly inhales a huge volume of air. Luhan continues to do so, just concentrating on breathing in and out. The drum of his heartbeat stops pounding in his head. He opens his eyes.

Everyone is crowding around him, in various degrees of concern. It must have happened very fast, because Chen and Kris are at the edge of the circle. They are both red in face, asking questions in both languages at rapid speed. Luhan realises he is clinging on to Min-Seok, who is looking at him wild-eyed.

“Your nose is running,” Tao says, sounding scared. He grabs a box of tissues at the table nearby and fumbles with the opening. He ends up ripping the box apart by force and taking a bunch out. Nobody has seen any of them react like that before.

Yixing looks terrified.

“What happened?” Kris finally yells, glaring at Yixing and Luhan, when he figures the latter is out of harm’s reach.

“I gave him bubble tea and we were talking for a while,” Yixing cries back, the shock making his voice go higher.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Chen picks up the bubble tea drink, which is almost empty. “Are you sure it’s the drink?” he asks innocently, inspecting it. “We always buy from this shop.”

Luhan gets back into the pattern of breathing; something he figures he will not take for granted for awhile. He tries to recollect his thoughts. “Yixing, are you ill?” he asks finally.

Everyone stares at him as if he is crazy. “Are you okay?” Min-Seok asks Luhan pointedly. “You just stopped breathing!”

The way Yixing scrunches up his face shows how upset he is. His eyes are wide. “What are you talking about?” Yixing answers. “I’m fine! Can we bring you to a doctor, please? We need to make sure you’re fine!”

Frustrated, Luhan snaps uncharacteristically, “Did you try to hug me?” Physical contact?

“I’m sorry!” The whole incident has sent Yixing emotionally teetering at the edge of a cliff. He backs away even more, furthering the distance between himself and Luhan. The answer is yes then. “I won’t go anywhere near you if that is how you’re going to react!”

Yixing’s look to Kris implores for help. The leader steps in, frowning at the escalating tension between the two roommates. They are all aware of the underlying apprehension between the two; but what is this kind of reaction?

“You’re not dying?” Luhan is still trying to wrap his mind around what just happened. Yixing still looks terrible to him; but he believes he is healthy. Who is right – him, or Yixing?

That nonsensical statement makes up Kris’s mind. “That’s it. You’re going to the hospital. Now.”

TBC