I found myself sat beside him again. Usually we’d talk about some weird things or Girls Generation and laugh until it hurt. Sometimes we’d wonder if we died would it be that place behind the pink sky as our after-life home. Just an ordinary and beautiful conversation between teenagers. We’ll back to each other’s house when night came over with dirty uniforms. Every end of the day under the pink sky, hand in hand while humming unidentified songs.

But now it’s something different. We just sat there, not bother to say something. The black and white uniform we always used has been thrown away cause we’ve just graduate a few days ago. And his smile. The wide creepy smile he always had on his face whenever we talk now gone. He sits a bit too far from me and there’s an awkward silent between us.

“I didn’t do it.” He said staring at the ground. I don’t say anything instead I’m just looking at the sky, count every single cloud.

“Hyung, I said I didn’t do it!” His voice now higher. He looks at me with a painful eyes. It hurt me so much that I can barely breathe. But I stay still, not knowing whether to believe him or my own eyes.

I just saw him in the club yesterday when my mom told me to brought Sehun home. His eyes where half open, mouth smells like alcohol, and half . He was dancing on a little stage with Kris in his arms. He’s been told not to drink alcohol because of his epilepsy. You know what will happen if he had his seizures all of sudden on his way home. And to make it worse, he did it with Kris hyung and my brother Sehun who drive like they were a Ghost Rider. I don’t want to be a poor and lonely man who wait in a cemetery for the rest of my life at the end.

My inside body suddenly burned. I ran through the mass of people who dance like crazy. My nose was trying to filtrate the air that smells like alcohol and smoke. I unconsciously hold my breath when I saw him hugging Kris, lips just inches away from what I called a disaster. My right hand spontaneously grab his shoulder so I could see him face to face. I know Kris was glaring at me with his face but who cares?. This sudden energy make me lose control and the next second I found the whole place became silent. Everyone look at me with annoyed face. My hand was still on his face that make me realize what did I just do.

When I heard Sehun at the corner calling my name, I burst into tears and run away from that place while dragging Sehun along. I could hear a chaos come from that disgusting club and some people calling his name. And this morning, he called me to meet him here.

“Ya! Are you deaf? I try to explain!” he whine like a 5 years old. For the first time of the day I turn my head to look at him. A little part of mine suddenly regret what I just did last night. Seeing him even more hurt than that night at the club when I slap his face make my chest tighten. Although I have this stinging feels at the back of my eyes, I dare myself not to cry in front of him.

“You don’t understand my language?” he asked. Again, I silently answer him in my mind.

“Okay, I said I DIDN’T DO IT!” he snapped at me in English. My eyes rounded at his sudden reaction. The combination of deep voice and frustrated body is just creepy.

“You what? After I saw everything with my own eyes and heard the whole story from Sehun you say what?!” I snapped him back.

“It’s the sixth time I said that I DIDN’T DO IT!!!-”

“Then who was it at the club last night?!  Is he just another Park Chanyeol?! Or he was your twin?! Don’t tell me you think I’m just so in love with you and I was just hallucinating cause everyone knows!” I yelled in disgusted tone. I’ve been with him for damn 3 years how can I even forget his face?.

He startled, looking at the other thing he could found at this huge park. I smile in satisfaction at his silent. I know he can’t resist. My nose could smell the victory when I found him run his finger on his hair in a frustrated way.

“I think I don’t need anymore explain because you don’t have one! Why should I think of you and your epilepsy every time when you’re the one who broke your own promise?! Poor me! ” I said when I stood up and ready to go away from the memorable place. I could tell that he get up too and hesitate to grab my hand or not. ‘You deserve it, Chanyeol’ I said in my mind when I walk across the street.

But when I reach the other side of the road I know that the victory was fake. I heard him call me while trying to hold something in his chest. He’s getting closer.

“Kris forced me to do it. He said that I’m now allowed to drink. I’ve tried to escape from them but Sehun stop me. They poured that alcohol into my mouth when I didn’t notice and it was blur. Kris told me the day after that you came and I have my seizures after you slap me on the face. My cheeks feel burn and your red hand print is still there. I couldn’t pay more attention to him because it was early morning and my head feels dizzy. All I know is just I can’t let you go because of  my weakness so please don’t do it, hyung. Please don’t-“

I frowned when I don’t hear his voice anymore. It was silent that my ears could hear the air buzzing. I turn back to saw something I hope will never happen again.

It was Park Chanyeol, laying on the street. He seizures like a fish you left on the ground and I’m sure that I saw fluid leak out from his mouth. From the moment I know that epilepsy had attack him again.

Trying not to care about my sudden chest pain, I run to him as fast as I can. But when I about to reach his body to position him to his side the pain suddenly getting worse. I grab my shirt and press it to my chest hoping that it’ll reduce. But it’s useless. My chest pain become really hurt that I feel like someone is squeezing my heart. It’s a heart attack.

I fell on the ground, not knowing what to do. How can I help Chanyeol with his seizure if I myself is dying here too?.  My hand still reach out his shoulder when a sudden car coming from nowhere like a beast. I could feel the hot tears running down my cheeks between the pain, worry, and scare I get. I shut my eyes closed when the crazy car coming our way. The asphalt below us is vibrating by the wheels that’s rolling fasten. I look up at Chanyeol who still had his seizure. If it wasn’t me that leave him in the first place, I’m sure it won’t happen. The car will pass by and we’ll sit at the bench share stories to the pink sky until it turns out into dark.

But I’m too late. We’re already laying on the street, helpless. Is it going to be the end of me? Should I let Chanyeol to die with me? Can I see his smile again somewhere above the pink sky we always have till this day? Why there’s no people here to help him? Should I worried about Chanyeol? Did I just forgive him? Do I…love him until this time?.

--

The 19 years old boy was staring blankly at the pink sky above. He sat on the same bench as the past 3 years he spend with a special friend. He’s not alone. There’s two boys come along with him but he just ignores them and continue to adore the pink sky. A wide smile suddenly creep out on his face as he remember something more important than the pink sky. Something above it. Far far away from the ground where he stand now.

“You like it when I smile, don’t you?” he said hoping that his voice could reach the other side of the sky.

“Hyung, are you crazy? I don’t even do it.” Said the youngest.

“Don’t lie to your hyung. You did it silently in your room.” The eldest teased. The youngest just pouting at him and back to his ice cream.

“But I’m still curious. Have I been forgiven?” he asked again. There’s a ‘yes’ between the wind that buzzing through his earlobe. His smile grew bigger.

“Ah, thank you.” He closed his eyes try to feel the wind that hug every single part of his body while the two are snapping and slapping at each other.

“What a Drama Queen.” The eldest said rolling his eyes.

“Like you’re not.”

“I’m not!”

“So what are you doing every afternoon on your apartment’s roof? Praying?”

 The boy open his eyes again to the pink sky after a few seconds ignoring the two. He knows that he could burst in tears at any seconds. That pink sky always reminds him to every single moment he had in last 3 years. It always make him happy and sad at the same time. The feelings of losing someone is just getting bigger every time he found this bench in afternoon.

“Yah! I’m sorry!” he heard someone yells from behind. He turn back to see Kris looking up to the sky with hands cupping around his mouth. He chuckle a bit.

“Me too, hyung! I’m just kidding that time! Why did you believe in me?!” now Sehun is the one who was yelling.

“I have a good news too! Chanyeol hyung had his surgery, he could control his seizure now! And we promise we won’t take him to club or drink anymore!” he yelled again make the elders laugh. Chanyeol is the loudest one that laugh. He actually try to hide sobs that just coming from his mouth and purposely wipe the corner of his eyes.

But the feeling is just too much to handle. Chanyeol suddenly fell on his knees while his hand is trying to wipe the tears that leaking out like a waterfall. The two try to calm him down but he just cried even more. He wants Baekhyun to be the one who tell him everything is alright, the one that watch every single move he made to make sure that Chanyeol don’t have his seizures in a wrong time. He wants it so crazy that he wish to drag Baekhyun back to earth or in this case, back to life so he could spend his life with him.

From that time, when Chanyeol look at the pink sky, he knows that he needs Baekhyun more than himself.