Baekhyun held his hair back as he puked. I'm going to die. Rubbed circles into his lower back. I'm going to be killed. Hummed softly to ease the biting pain in his stomach. Wufan is going to kill me. But nothing really helped.

When he laid back down on the floor, Baekhyun placed a cold washcloth on his forehead. Jongin could not hear what Baekhyun was saying anymore. His head was spinning, and his stomach lurched with every breath he took. His lungs burned stronger than the back of throat and he felt his world collapsing. He would never see Wufan, never hear his laugh, his yells. Never hear him voice his frustration, never hear his snores in the early morning. Never see his sunburnt skin in the summer, and the blue veins on his arms in the winter. Never-

"Kai? Don't worry. I won't-won't tell." Through his haze, Baekhyun's eyes were watery, and Wufan would be furious. Wufan would have wrapped his long fingers around his neck and held him against the wall until he stop fighting. His eyes would have been red with anger, and his grip would never loosen. Jongin would have bruises for days. He only knows because it happened before. Except that time it was different, and this time, someone saw him jump. Wufan would be so angry.

Jongin felt like hours passed. The rag lost its cool and some of its dampness. Baekhyun sat with his legs crossed and hands cautiously in his lap. His eyes never left Jongin's figure. He drifted in and out of consciousness and dreamt of Wufan. They were nightmares and he woke sweating. Still Baekhyun stayed by his side. The last time he closed his eyes, he smelled coffee.

He dreamt of the chapel. Wufan was playing piano, singing softly. Just soft enough to where Jongin couldn't hear. When he tried to step closer, his feet felt heavy. He felt weighed down and tired. He just wanted to hear Wufan singing. He couldn't remember what he sounded like. He could see his lips moving but there were only whispers. He could see his pale finger tips against the ivory keys. He was so angelic. His hair off his forehead and he was wearing that white button up Jongin liked so much. The first few buttons ed and Jongin wanted to touch the plastic and feel it slip from the fabric. Wufan seemed so great, so pure and-

"Kai!" He felt like he had been hit. Hit hard in the chest, and the pain was unbearable. Over the pain, he could hear Baekhyun speaking and the click of his mother's high heels. You rest now, she would say, You've been sick all night. He balled his fists tugging at the sheets. The bed dipped with Baekhyun's weight and caused creases in the striped sheets. He smoothed out the sheets over his legs and sighed, biting hard into his chapped lip. Baekhyun was speaking, going on about something, Wufan would be so angry.

What was Wufan doing right now? Worrying? Pacing the floors? He used to smoke some when he was stressed. Is he smoking? Has he forgotten about him? What has he told the noona upstairs? She would be the one to call the authorities. Wufan wouldn't let her do that, right?

"Kai!" Baekhyun laughed. "Where do you go when you zone out?"

"I go home."

The next few days they spent in silence. Baekhyun's mother fretted over him; fixing his hair, his clothes, how much food he ate. He wondered if this was what all mothers did. Did all mothers pack your lunch? Did all mothers demand a hug when you left home? Did all mother worry about the colour of your skin and the weather outside? Baekhyun's dad too worried. He glanced nervously over his newspaper as they left, telling them to be safe. He wrapped his arm around Baekhyun multiple times, messing with his hair. Jongin watched as they tossed a football in the front lawn, and again he wondered; Were all fathers like this?

Baekhyun left the house often. He would go on walks and talk about the sky, space, his life, the girls at school; he would just speak, talk, many any noise, sometimes even singing. Any thought that came to mind was spoken, and Jongin listened and wondered if this is what Wufan felt like. Did Wufan feel bad when he came home with a black eye and wanted to talk about his grade in Physical science? Did Wufan feel bad when he locked himself in the bathroom for hours and came out with red eyes. He refused to speak for a week after that. He never told Wufan. He wished he had. He wished he could tell Wufan everything, every secret he kept from him. He would master his skill as to not worry Wufan. Wufan deserved better. It hurt, but it was true. He didn't want Wufan aging early, no wrinkles of stress, and crows feet from narrowing his eyes at the negativity that rushed through Jongin's blood on bad days. Wufan would be upset if he wrinkled. Wufan deserves to live a stress free life. Jongin was torn. I want to go home.

"Kai!" He heard the screech of the tires, the lights in his eyes. He didn't see any memories, his life didn't flash before his eyes, but he felt heavy. And this time, he wasn't sure if the blackness he was falling into was a jump, or something a little more permanent. He was scared. Wufan would be so worried.

a/n: Again a late update. I apologize. There are probably some grammar errors that I will correct later on. Thank you for reading.