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[a/n: Emo mode lol... sorry if you are expecting RiRin, but this one is bugging me so bad! A little WARNING this story aren't meant for readers who easily tears up. You get my emo mode right? Just a warning neh?! (TT_TT) my broken heart but i'll be fine tomorrow! Promise! I'll bring the happiness back in my fics! Just today neh?!]

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First Love

[Her]

Dara sat under the big oak leave less tree in one sunny day of fall looking at what seems to be his picture. She didn’t mind how cold the breeze is, knowing she could no longer feel anything anymore. It’s been a year now since they said their last goodbye.

She held the picture tightly brushing it softly, outlining his features from his eyes, nose and onto his lips. The lips she remembered so well. She touched her lips remembering how his kiss felt and how it tasted like cigarette.

There she remembered the sad and bitter fragrance of it allowing her to remember their separation.

“I hope you’re doing well Jiyong,” Dara faintly smiled at the picture. “By now I wonder where you are and who you are thinking of.”

Dara faintly smiled remembering how he first met him. She was just young and naïve that love for her was nothing but happiness. Until one day, a day that had changed everything in her life.

After five years of being together, she never realized that, that day will happen where she’ll lose the first love just like that.

[Flashback]

Its one cold fall and the park they usually go to are all brown and muggy like there’s no life in here whatsoever. The wind that felt so cold and the sky sure looked gloomy. Dara waited for Jiyong holding onto a present she made in her arts and crafts class. She hoped that the guy would like it so much as she enjoyed making it which she made sure to fill with lots of love.

She smiled upon seeing him, somewhat tall and lean for his size. His black wool coat sure made him more handsome. His black rimmed glasses made him smart and well mannered man which made her fall in love with him all over again.

“Did you wait long?” his first words spoken since the day they’ve seen each other. For some odd reason she felt something in his voice, something she hasn’t heard from him before.

“Hmm,” she lightly nodded. “I made you this,” Dara handed Jiyong the scarf she hand knitted for weeks. Their favorite colors combined in one piece of wool scarf.

“Thanks,” he took it but Dara sure felt something again. It wasn’t the gratitude kind of feel but something else. Something she denied to feel. “Let’s go,” he said walking away without holding her hand.

Dara was never a nagger since she doesn’t know how to be one. She only likes to follow especially when it comes to her first love since she figured she knows nothing about love and Jiyong sure taught her so much. Not until she met Jiyong, there she thought she found love.

Her first love which would always bring happiness in her heart, the happiness she had long for.

She looked ahead and found him already far, running slowly she was able to catch up but still she felt something. Something she didn’t want to feel.

The two sat quietly in the café booth looking at their drinks, no one dared to utter a word not knowing where to start. Dara had looked up and saw something in his eyes which she got scared of.

“Ji,” she called making the guy look up with no expression painted on his face. “Is something wrong?”

Dara sure wasn’t that blind not to see how he contemplated at first and she knew something will hit her hard. Was she prepared, no, never was she. She knew that their relationship had slowed or rather never progressed. Five years of what she called perfect love all turned out to be nothing like bubbles that will ascend a certain point and slowly it will pop diminishing from the rest of the world. Or that's how she thought it's like.

“Dara,” she stiffened hearing him call her name. “I think…”

“Jiyong,” she quickly cut him not wanting to hear his words yet. “I know,” she said making the lad in front of her curious. “I know what’s going on and I’ll be honest, I’m not naïve anymore or slow not to realize it. But let me tell you one thing. Before you say the words, I just wanted to tell you thank you.”

“Dara,” he took her hand but she pulled away knowing she'll break down if she'd allow him to touch her.

“Jiyong, you taught me so much,” she held herself still and didn’t dare to move or else her threatening tears would fall. Her eyes still darted straight to her drink. “You’re my first and I’ll always be thankful for all the things you taught me. I’ll sure take that with me for the rest of my life. I just hope.”

“Dara,” he called again but Dara shook her head which silenced the boy.

“I just hope,” her tears fell feeling something she never wanted to feel especially today. “I just hope you find some place in your heart to remember me. I know it won’t be easy, but I know.”

She looked up and smiled faintly at him, “I know that one of these days,” she looked into his eyes letting the pool of tears fall. “That this day would come and you would say goodbye to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Jiyong said making Dara shake her head.

“You should never say sorry,” Dara said. “You should never say or feel sorry for falling out of love. If you’re sorry that only means that you were never sincere for the love you gave me. I don’t want a sorry when it’s ending. I only want it to be peaceful.”

“Dara please,” Jiyong held her hand tightly this time she didn’t pull away. Even for a minute, she wanted to last feel his touch.

“Thank you Jiyong,” Dara whispered. “Just remember that you’ll always have a place in my heart and I also know that one day, I’ll be able to move on and find a new love song to sing.”

Dara stood up and went to him, “I have always loved you,” she whispered her tears could no longer be hold. She gently leaned forward kissing him; there she tasted the bitterness of his cigarette she knew he just had. The taste she’s well accustomed to. “Goodbye Jiyong,” she pulled away looking at him for one last time.

[End of FB]

Dara smiled at the picture thinking he is somewhere out there perhaps having fun. She didn’t want to cry since she had already today and she also knew that tomorrow, she’ll cry once again.

She admired at the picture remembering his face so well. Dara didn’t dare to look for him or ask him for a second chance because to her, she knew well that if Jiyong is meant to be hers. Then someday he’ll return to her.

She believed and held on the saying if you set him free and he returned to you that only mean he’s yours but if he doesn’t that only means he was never meant to be yours in the first place. Or something liked that.

Dara sighed as she realizes she’s thinking about him again like any other days that had passed. The bright sunny day where it could have been a good day but rather it turned gloomy again reminding her it’s fall again. And this season that sure had brought her the sadness she's feeling right now, but she’s slowly learning to move on or so she say she is.

“Even if I fall in love with someone else,” Dara caressed the picture. “I know I’ll always remember you. I’ll always remember the things you taught me.”

Dara stood up and looked at the picture for the last time. She kissed his lips for the last time and placed them down on the dying grass as the season gets colder. “I’m letting you go,” she whispered trying to hold onto her last tears. “I’ll let faith this time.”

She turned around and sighed deeply feeling the same hurt feeling she once felt bringing her back to that day. However she vowed that one day she’ll move on and forget the sad song she still sings; until she finds a new love song she will sing again. Whether it’s for him or someone else, she knows she’ll find that song and sing it one day.

She walked away smiling widely letting go of the sadness she once felt. All she could think of is what tomorrow will and could bring her.

-

[Him]

Jiyong watched a far admiring the girl he had lost. Like all relationship that’s starts happily, would always end in sadness or so that’s what he thought.

The day he wanted to break up with her, was the day he didn’t realize what he let go off. He did admit that he was wrong. He was wrong to give up so easily knowing their five years together just went down the drain so fast and so easily.

He thought after their break up he’d finally set himself free. There will be no hold backs as he would always recall. That he’ll feel the single life again where he can go out and mingle and enjoy the life he’s supposed to have.

However after experiencing a single life for a week, he always ends up at home lonely thinking what Dara could be doing.

He remembered so well how they met, where his heart was easily captured just by her mere existence. He’d describe her as the fallen angel from up above. The wish he had waited for to come in his life came in the right place and in the right time.

[Flashback]

A quite known guy somewhat tall and lean for his own size and would always be in fashion. He is known as the cold and quiet heartthrob in YG High. Jiyong never believed in real love, he would always go out and mingle enjoying what he call flings.

He played around with girls’ heart, crushing each heart as all felt hope. He never wanted or seeks for real love since he thought he has no strength to do so.

After his parent's failed marriage, he knew that real love never existed and that there was no perfect mate or wife in this world.

However, in the most unexpected day and time, he didn’t realize that love can be so right.

Jiyong sat under the big oak tree that he calls his own territory just having his daily nap. He skipped again his math class knowing that he’ll only bore himself in there and so he chose to go far.

The lad placed his cap on his face covering the sun that’s seeping right through the big branches and leaves. He wanted his sleep and now that he’s in his place what a perfect time it is.

A few minutes gone by he was nearing his dreamland when something poked his stomach. He tried to avoid it at first but feeling the constant poking made him lose his temper. He harshly got rid of his hat and looked up and there he had fallen into a silent state forgetting his once angry state.

“I see you’re alive,” the girl in pigtails smiled at him. “Sorry to bother you, I thought you were dead.”

“Umm,” Jiyong couldn’t utter a word seeing such angel in a time like this.

“Can I join you?” she asked. “There’s no other good spots than this area.”

Jiyong looked around and indeed every good spots were taken. And feeling a lump in his throat he couldn’t help but just nod.

“Thanks,” she smiled making Jiyong’s heart raise in beats.

The girl sat beside him, opening what seems to be a novel. He tried to peek at it curious to what book it is making the girl giggle.

“It’s The Twilight book,” she said. “Have you heard of it? There’s a movie of it too.”

“Oh,” he just said making the girl smile.

“I’m Sandara, Dara for short,” she extended her hand for a shake.

Jiyong looked at it for a moment and sure felt himself nervous, “Ji…Jiyong,” he said taking her hanging hand.

“Nice to meet you Jiyong,” she said with a huge smile. “Oh you go to YG High?”

“Yea,” he answered.

“But don’t you have classes right now?” she asked making the boy nod. “Aigoo must be math class you’re skipping.”

“How did you…” he was cut off by the girl’s laughter.

“I’m in the same class, see this,” she held her book. “I noticed your book there.”

“You go to my school?” he bravely asked.

“Hmm I’m new,” she shyly answered. “My first day is today actually, but I skipped my whole class since I’m too nervous to go.”

“Don’t be,” Jiyong finally found his voice. “You know me now so you won’t be alone.”

He couldn't help but smile seeing the girl smile knowing she has found a new friend.

-

Ever since they met, Jiyong and Dara has been together. Their relationship started as friends until Jiyong is sure aware of what he really felt. And so he courted her until she finally became his girlfriend.

Many of the girls in their school envied her, but seeing a new side to the once cold Jiyong sure made not only his friends happy but also everyone at school. For some reason the new Jiyong is well loved.

Dara had sure made a huge impact in the guy’s life allowing him to believe that true love can happen and that he can return the so called love to her as well.

After high school, both had stepped into college. Both remain together still young and in love. And upon entering YG University, Jiyong’s fan girls had sure grown higher but that never affected Dara knowing Jiyong is hers.

And the guy had made sure that his only girl knows it. However as their relationship slowly progress, the more Jiyong becomes curious to what’s life like as a single man again.

But he quickly discarded that thought knowing he was happy with Dara. Was he?

Then one day he got a call from his father saying that his father and mother are getting a divorce and this time it’s finalized. There it hit him that there is no such thing as real love.

He ignored Dara’s calls and messages feeling suffocated all of a sudden. He went out partying without telling the girl about it. For him it felt like ecstasy to finally have no one behind him pulling him back.

He felt the life he used to once have forgetting what love is. Love that he never believe is there.

And it was also the week he finally realize that he was no longer in love with Dara. Or at least that’s how he put it.

He came to her, in their meeting place with full determination to end the relationship. However the girl had beaten him to it.

There he realized that what he had planned only back fired to him. He thought he would feel happy knowing there would be no baggage for him carry.

But the moment Dara had kissed him goodbye was also the day he regret in acting like this. He could have told her everything and maybe just maybe they wouldn’t be like this. Or worst he wouldn't be like this, nothing but full of regrets.

[End of FB]

Jiyong tightened the scarf Dara gave him around his neck smelling her scent he tried to preserve so badly. It was the only thing that reminded him of her. And watching her like this sure made him regret even more with what he had done.

Once the girl had left, Jiyong went straight to the big leave less tree taking the photo she had left. There he saw a picture of her instead.

He picked it up and looked at it letting his tears fall. The tears he thought that would never fall.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and his hand gently caressed her face. He flipped the picture and found her writing.

To My Dearest First Love,

Happy seventh anniversary! This day I sit under this tree again, remembering you once again. No matter how far apart we are I know deep down you are here with me. You will always have a place in my heart Jiyong.

I will always be thankful for everything you had taught me. And of course all the joy you had brought into my life. Remember what I told you, you will always have a place in my heart. Not because you are my first love, but because you are more than that. You are the love i have found.

I have learned and understand what love is. I felt the happiness, pain and content in life I thought I would never feel.

Remember to never say or feel sorry because that only means you are sorry for not being sincere to me. When you love, you shouldn’t feel sorry because I know in love like ours there will be times like this where one would fall out of love. I understand what you felt that’s why I chose to let you go.

But for me, I’ll always have faith. I have faith in us and whatever may come to us, I’ll gladly accept the faith we both will have. I may love someone else, but I know I will always love and remember you.

Until Whenever and Until Now, I have always love you. Jiyong I will never get tired of loving you remember that.

Love,

Sandara

Jiyong turned the picture again, staring into her beautiful face. Somehow he felt himself light, as if there’s a given hope. “I have faith in us,” he whispered. “And I’ll wait for that day to come.”

He gently placed a kiss on her picture letting the rest of his tears fall. “I am sorry,” he whispered. “Not because I’m not sincere, but because I have let you go like this. But I’ll believe in what you said. I’ll wait for that day to come.”

Jiyong took Dara’s picture bringing them to his chest as he shut his eyes tight trying to remember her face. The face he has surely missed. “I love you Dara,” he whispered feeling the cool breeze. “I will always love you now and until whenever.”

...끝...

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A/N:

Huhuhu Emo mode is done! Sequel! Sequel! Nah! I'll just leave it like this! This is what i'm good at! Sad and tragic fics! huhuhu

Okay enough rant for me! Thanks for reading! I hope you like this! I love this song so much! My love for Utada! kekeke

Anyway, thanks again! Please do leave me a comment neh?! I promise i'll be okay the next day!

See you in the next update! (^3^)