Self-restraint. That was the only word on Kim Myungsoo's mind after spending yet another day with Sungjong and the girl Sungjong liked. Staring at the ceiling, he gave up all hopes of trying to fall asleep. The weird feeling in his heart was back again and the more Myungsoo tried to ignore it, the more it grew stronger. This is only a temporary want, he tried to convince himself. The feeling will pass. It had to pass. Myungsoo was supposed to be the kind hyung to Sungjong; the poor kid trusted him with all his heart. The rest of the guys in the group constantly poked fun at Sungjong and even though it was all in good fun, there was only so much he could take. Now that promotions for their latest mini-album have ended, Sungjong would have to endure more hours of being bullied by the others. At the end of the day, Myungsoo was the one Sungjong came to, near tears and close to giving up. Myungsoo was always the one to pick him up when he was down. He was Sungjong's rock. Safety blanket, even. Now that Sungjong had found himself someone who could be a beacon of light, Myungsoo felt like a terrible person for having these feelings towards her.

What kind of a friend was he? To be attracted to the same girl as his precious dongsaeng...things like this only happened in bad drama plots. Myungsoo cursed this clichéd dilemma. Moreover, he cursed her. Who did she think she was, causing him to feel this way? She was an intrusion in his life, ruining his thoughts, actions and possibly his relationships. This whole ordeal wasn't fair. Then again, since when was life ever fair? "Aishhhh," Myungsoo moaned and spasmed in his bed. Below him, Sungyeol stirred and mumbled something. He had almost forgotten that his roommate was a light sleeper. Looks like he'd have to be careful if he wanted to express his dissatisfaction with life. Dongwoo was out sleeping in the living room again. Weirdo.

Taking a deep breath, Myungsoo closed his eyes and tried to clear his thoughts. The only thing on his mind right now should be sleep. Tomorrow was going to be one of the very few days off they'd receive this year, so he should be sleeping instead of worrying over something as trivial as this. Instead of wallowing in pity for himself, Myungsoo should be helping Sungjong get the girl. Being a good hyung should be his top priority right now. Filling his mind with these kinds of thoughts, the lethargic wave of sleep began to settle over Myungsoo. Before he succumbed to slumber, however, the last thing that he remembered thinking about were her eyes, sending slight shivers of electricity over his body.

-

The next day, he awakened feeling like he hadn't slept at all. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Myungsoo glanced at the clock on the wall. It read 1:58. Great, he had already wasted almost half his day. Sungyeol was already out and about; Myungsoo could hear him complaining to Woohyun about something stupid. Slipping on a plain, fitted grey shirt and white skinny jeans, he still managed to look like a cool, Seoul man while barely managing to care about his appearance. He emerged from the room still sleepy and nearly ran into Sunggyu.

“And finally, Sleeping Beauty awakens,” Sunggyu announced. “Dongwoo and Hoya ate your breakfast already, so you’re going to have to get something from down the street if you want to eat.”

“Wonderful,” Myungsoo’s voice dripped with sarcasm as he headed towards the kitchen, waving to the members as he passed them. He grabbed his wallet from the counter and walked to the front door to put his shoes on. As he was waiting for the elevator in his apartment to reach his floor, Myungsoo absentmindedly pressed the call button multiple times. The surprise on his face was evident as the doors opened and there she was, looking just as startled as he was to see him there.

Myungsoo prayed for her to just leave it at that, just a glance, and head straight to the dorm to see Sungjong. Just pass by me, he thought. I’ll pretend I didn’t see you and get on with my life. Of course, she greeted him with a smile, a smile that caused his heart to tremble with both contempt and excitement. Myungsoo greeted her back and once her name left his lips, his traitor heart began to race faster. He kept on telling himself to think of Sungjong, think of Sungjong, for God’s sake, but as she began to make small talk with him outside the elevator, he could feel his self-restraint dissipating.

It was an internal battle for him now. A few more minutes passed before she finally decided to head to the Infinite dorm to meet up with Sungjong. “I’ll see you around, then,” she said breezily, then moved closer to him for a hug. Myungsoo returned it, but a million voices in his head screamed at him to get away, to not return it. Self-restraint fought with him as he enveloped his arms around her lithe frame. He glanced over at the front door of their dorm and thought of Sungjong inside it. Sungjong, who didn’t know his hyung’s betraying heart. Sungjong, who is blindly blissful because he thinks Myungsoo, his beloved hyung and safety blanket, will help him win the girl over. When Myungsoo breaks free from the hug, all he can think is, you can never be mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.