Luhan huffed angrily as he jogged along the side of the river. It was still early in the morning. The sun hadn’t made its full appearance yet, the birds were chirping, and the wind was chilling his bone. He still love it though; the fresh air he breathed, the breeze playing with his hair, the calmness of his surroundings—they all eased the irritation growing in him. He stopped for a while to control his breathing. It wasn’t that his breathing had gone rough after an hour of jogging—it was a piece of cake to him as he had been trained to sing while dancing for so long—he halted his steps to enjoy the beautiful view of the river. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before starting to jog again.

It had only been a month after his debut as a member of EXO-M, the Chinese subunit of EXO. However, the fact that his Korean counterpart seemed to receive more love than his unit royally pissed him off. It was unfair—he thought—he had trained longer than most of them; he was a better dancer and singer than the majority of them; and he was definitely more handsome than all of them combined. How on earth could EXO-K beat his unit in term of popularity?

He exhaled loudly, letting his anger out. He sped up his steps and squinted his eyes, hopping that it would erase his rising fury.

“This moment feels like I was born as a child who knew nothing

I closed my eyes again in case it would be a dream

You were standing in front of my desperate self and praying

Just once, I want to walk side by side with you”

He heard a soft voice was singing a tune he was very familiar with. The song was “Angel”, one of his favorite tracks on his debut album. He knew that he was in Korea so that it was more reasonable to hear people sang the Korean version of the song; however, hearing his favorite track in Korean still irritated him. Nevertheless, his musically inclined mind made him stop and listen for a while.

“Taken by the soft wind to your world

You asked me brightly where I came from to your side

And I told you that ‘It was a secret’

Wherever we walk together

Will be paradise”

He had to admit that even in Korean the song was still very beautiful. The girl who sang it was doing a quite decent job as well. Her singing wasn’t good enough for him—he was a singer so his standard was higher than most—but it was still okay for his ears. He opened his eyes and looked for the source of the voice.

On the bench a couple feet from him, he spotted a girl sat alone while closing her eyes and singing. Her long black hair was flowing to her back, covering a bit of her white chiffon dress. Why would she use such a thin clothing on a cold morning was beyond him. Her skin was pale—almost as white as the dress she was wearing. On her lap sat a fat Himalayan cat, its long furry tail flipping around as she its back.

She paused her singing after she got to the refrain; it seemed that she didn’t remember the lyrics for the whole song. Luhan chuckled when she continued only by humming the familiar tune, completely ignoring the words that she should’ve sung. She was startled before looking back at him. Luhan stopped chuckling and smiled his charming smile at her. She was probably an EXO-K fan, but it didn’t mean that he couldn’t win her over, right?

The girl, however, only looked at him blankly for almost half a minute before looking back at the river in front of her. A vein appeared on his forehead. She shouldn’t be brushing off his captivating smile easily like that. Maybe she couldn’t see me clearly because the sky is still a bit dark, he convinced himself. With that in mind, he walked over to her.

“Hi,” he called out to her when she was only a feet from him, “do you mind if I sit here?”

She looked at him—her blank expression was still there—and shook her head.

“Please take a seat,” she said; her hand tapped the empty spot next to her, gesturing him to sit there. Luhan sat next to her and gently smiled at her again. However, she only blinked a couple times before turning her head to face the river. She didn’t just ignore him again, he thought in disbelief. He felt as if a vein had popped on his forehead. She might be an EXO-K fan, but how could she completely ignore him like that? How could she disregard an attractive and charismatic guy like him? Luhan concluded that the girl simply had no manners at all. Nonetheless, he decided to start a conversation with her since her standoffish attitude piqued him.

“So, you like ‘Angel’, huh?” he asked her friendlily.

She looked a bit lost for a while before slowly answering, “Oh, do you mean the song I sang before? Yeah, I think it’s beautiful.”

A small upward curve formed on the edge of her thin lips. Her eyes were still fixated at the river in front of her; her gaze was dreamy. He ended up looking at the river too, wondering what had been keeping her attention from him. The view of the river in the morning was indeed breathtaking but he doubted that he was less impressive than the sight in front of them.

“Do you know EXO?” he asked her out of curiosity. From the way she answered him before, it seemed that she didn’t have any idea who was the original singer of the song she sang.

“Ah… I heard about them on the radio. They’re good singers. That song… ‘Angel’… is one of their songs, right?” She answered him unconfidently. She was looking at him but he couldn’t shake off the feeling of emptiness her eyes gave.

He nodded. “Yeah.” He knew that they—EXO—were all singers and are supposed to be praised on how good they sing, but he couldn’t hide his surprise that for the first time a girl around his age would only compliment their singing ability and give no remarks on their looks and dancing talent. She was indeed quite fascinating.

“Have you ever watched their performance?” He asked her in genuine curiosity. However, her face fell after hearing the question. She bit her lower lip before she answered.

“In case you haven’t noticed yet, I’m blind.” She smiled bitterly; she waved her free hand in front of her eyes to emphasize her point.

Luhan’s right hand flew to cover his mouth as it gaped widely in shock. She wasn’t ignoring him; she couldn’t see him! After a while, he chuckled at his foolishness. No wonder his charm didn’t work; she couldn’t even see his attempt. He felt relieved; he almost thought that he had found someone who could be immune to his appeal. The girl looked—no, turned at him confusedly. Laughter was probably the last in the list of reactions she expected when she told people that she was blind.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized earnestly but still couldn’t stop his chuckles, “but I thought you were ignoring me. I mean, I smiled at you a couple time but you didn’t smile back. I’m so stupid.” He slapped his forehead, his chuckles finally ceased.

The girl smiled a bit. She turned her head to face the river again before she talked. “I wasn’t blind until last year. Maybe that’s why I still look at people who talk to me out of reflex.” She hugged the fat ball of white and chocolate fur closer to her chest. The cat meowed softly before resting it head near an expensive looking tear shaped pendant hanging from her necklace.

As he watched her closer, it was obvious that she grew up from a rich family. Her long black hair was clearly receiving all the treatment it needed as it glittered under the dim sunlight. Her skin was flawless; her outfit looked like the ones he only saw in magazines. Not to mention the cat in her embrace was also evidently costly. She was quite good looking too—he had been surrounded by pretty SM trainees and seniors for years so she wasn’t par to his standard, but she was definitely easy on the eye. His new comprehension of her made him wonder what made came here alone. If there was any positive trait that he had, it would be his endless curiosity.

“What make you come here alone?” he asked her curiously.

She tilted her head to her left. “I’ve just moved to the neighborhood a couple days ago. I like the morning fresh air a lot, so I asked my chauffer to drive me here. I wish I’m on my own here, but my family won’t allow it. Fortunately my chauffer is really kind and respecting my will. He always gives me my own space every time I want to be alone. He was probably hiding in the bush or something right now, but I’m very appreciating his effort.”

Luhan looked around to find the said man, but he couldn’t see anyone. The guy was either an expert in camouflage or simply a nonchalant man who disobey his master command. He thought that there was no benefit in hiding when she couldn’t even see anything so he decided that the chauffer must had actually left the poor girl alone.

“I don’t see anyone around,” he voiced out his thought, “I might be someone who had wicked intention toward you and he won’t be able to do anything about it.” He looked at her to see her expression.

Instead of biting back his remark, she spoke in a trembling voice, “I hate it that I’m so helpless now.”

She turned to him and he started to notice the cloudy shadows on both of her eyes; the bitter smile crept on her face again. “It might have been better if I just died along with the car crash.” She smiled, but her lips were trembling. After a split second, tears started to fall slowly from her eyes. She turned her head down, let go her cat, and covered with the back of her hand.

Luhan eyed her motionlessly. For him, tears were sign of weakness that he despised. He decided to stand up and leave her to grieve on her own.

When he jogged by the river a couple days after to calm himself from a fight with Kris, he saw the same girl sat on the same bench. She was wearing another chiffon dress in blue. Her hair was braided to her side and on her lap sat the same Himalayan cat. Luhan didn’t know what drove him as he found himself walking in her direction.

“Hi there.”  he greeted her casually.

“Hi.” she smiled and looked at him. Well, turned at him was more proper as she couldn’t probably look at him. “Take a seat,” she told him as she patted the seat on her right.

“You’re not mad at me?” he asked, amazed. Other girls would be flipping mad at him for making them cry and left them like nothing happened. Well, they would eventually forgive him after looking at his attractive pouty face, but, she couldn’t see, right?

She shook her head. “I have been crying alone a lot lately. Whether you were there or not didn’t really matter; I would’ve cried on my own anyway.”

She leaned back to the bench; her eyes were closed as she brought her slim face to face the sky. “And I’m indeed helpless. This is a fact that I despise but also still learn to accept.”

There was silence between them. Both of them were closing their eyes, enjoying the fresh air morning had offered them.

“Being blind has its benefits too.” she told him out of blue.

He looked at her; amusement was on his eyes.

“I think my other senses are getting sharper. For example, from the way you speak I know that you’re actually a foreigner.”

His eyes widened. How could she know?

With the years he had spent moving back and forth from Korea to China, Luhan was quite confident in his Korean proficiency. Heck, he even took Korean as a major in college. Therefore, her comment had somewhat hurt his pride. However, he chose to ignore it and act coolly.

“Yeah, I’m from China.”

“You sounded irritated.” she stated her right on the spot observation. “I’m not trying to insult you or anything, you know. I think your Korean is almost perfect; I bet normal people wouldn’t recognize the traces of your slight accent.” she nonchalantly added.

Luhan was silenced by her statement. It seemed that he had no other option but to be honest with the blind girl since she appeared to be able to sense emotions in his tune.

“Let me tell you another example that would probably less offending for you, missy. Although you’re sweating a lot, I think you use the same cologne that you used when we first met.”

Luhan was surprised that she could distinguish the smell of his sweat and his cologne that he ignored the fact that she had just called him missy. He smelt his shirt before answering her. “Yeah.”

“Why would anyone use cologne before exercising?” She muttered to no one in bafflement.

“You know I can hear you clearly, right?” he mumbled in annoyance. He had started the habit of wearing cologne when he jogged in the morning after his debut. After all, he didn’t know who he might bump into when he run, right? He clearly didn’t want to traumatize a possible fan with a sour smell that his sweat produced.

She chuckled merrily. “Oh my God, you’re so vain! Fine. I think you like to sing because your voice is nice to hear. Happy now?”

Luhan flushed at her remark. He hated it when people mentioned his vanity—not because it didn’t exist since it did, but more because it was a sign of a flaw he had. However, her complimenting him might be signs that she had taken a liking on him. That is the power of the great Luhan. Even blind people couldn’t escape his allure. A bit more charms thrown and she will be head over heels on him. He smirked at the thought and nodded.

As he remembered that she was blind, he quickly answered. “Yeah. I sing a lot. I smell good, right? I know you can’t resist me.” he flirted shamelessly.

She chuckled again. As odd as it might sound, he found her laughter to be melodious. What is wrong with his ears? He couldn’t be attracted to a blind girl, right? He shook his head like a dog trying to get water out of its ears. He sneaked a peek at her and unconsciously sighed in relieve as she seemed to be unperturbed. That head shaking habit of his was a serious damage to his image and he was thankful that she couldn’t see it.

“Once a flirt always a flirt, huh?”  she said nonchalantly.

That day, the conversation between the two of them went fluidly. They talked about music, which interested the two of them, random weather, and Han River. Unlike her calm demeanor, she turned out to be snarky and fun. The sad girl he met a few days before had disappeared into thin air. Maybe time had healed the wound or maybe she was simply having a mood swing in their last meeting; he could never figure out and he didn’t really bother either. They chatted for about half an hour before he decided to leave since Kris wouldn’t be happy if he was out of the dorm for too long.

Since that day, Luhan had made it a habit to jog around the river at the morning despite the fact that he was not a morning person. He would involuntarily stop near her bench to chat with her or simply watch her staring blankly at the river. In the three mornings they spent chatting together, he had learnt that she was indeed come from an affluent family. She was their only child; therefore they really loved and spoilt her. She was only 18 when the deadly car accident happened the year before; she had gone through various operations to recover her health. All other parts of her body had regained it functions back except for her eyes. Her corneas were severely damaged—hence her blindness—and she was still looking for a donor.

In reciprocity, he had unconsciously spilled out a lot about himself as well. He told her about how he dearly missed his family in Beijing: his parents and his little sister, his wish to be able to meet his friends in back Beijing, and his regret of spending all his teen as a trainee. He eventually told her that he is a singer in EXO-M and shared his worries regarding his brother group as well as his troubles with his roommates.

He couldn’t fathom the reason why but he felt tremendously at ease talking to her. Maybe it was because she was simply a stranger who had never known him before and didn’t give a damn about his look. Maybe it was also because he could simply be himself around her since she couldn’t see what kind of embarrassment he was doing to himself. At times, he believed that she could listen right into his soul with her ability to read his emotions like an open book only from his voice. She was blind but whenever he was with her he felt like he was standing ; she could easily see him through the layers he had put around him.

 She would still often cry herself a river as she remembered her helplessness, but Luhan had found it to be less irritating. In fact, he sort of thought that her tears glistened face was somewhat more beautiful than her usual one. When such thoughts came to him, he would slap his forehead loudly and warned himself not to fall for the blind girl.

“You’re awfully happy these days. Is there anything good that I don’t know about?” Minseok asked Luhan curiously after a tiring rehearsal. They were in the middle of the preparation for their SM TOWN debut in Los Angeles. Luhan only gave his chubby friend a faked confused look. Although he actually knew that being able to pour out his feelings and thought to her had somehow boosted his mood, he feigned to know nothing about it.

“Well, you used to be brooding about how EXO-K is being too popular or Kai being such a camera but now you aren’t doing that anymore.” Minseok persisted and eyed his pretty friend suspiciously.

However, Luhan brushed it off with his trademark sweet smile.

“Maybe you’re imagining things.”

“Can I touch your face?”

Luhan was startled when she suddenly asked him out of blue. After 5 days on a row meeting her, he still addressed her as a simple she—he hadn’t asked for her name yet and neither had she asked about his. He had literally told her everything but he still felt that name was somewhat too personal. It seemed that the girl also shared the same sentiment about it that she never bothered to tell him her name.

“Why?” he asked her back regarding her previous question.

“I’m very curious about how you look like. But since I can’t see you, I only want to find some basics for my imagination.” She smiled as she turned to face him.

He gulped. Would he allow her to know him more? To cross the boundaries that he set between them? Wasn’t this more intimate than name?

Before he said his answer, he saw her hands already started to reach to his direction. He chuckled as he saw her persistence.

He captured her hands with his and guided them to his face. Her small hands fit perfectly under his larger ones. When her cold fingertips finally landed on his cheeks, he felt heat radiated from his face. His heart beat accelerated steadily as her fingers slowly traced the sides of his face. He was blushing madly when she gently outlined his nose and cheek bones; he was glad she couldn’t see him. Her feathery touches had literally driven him crazy; he unconsciously closed his eyes as he enjoyed them.

He had officially fallen for the blind girl whose name he had never known of.

When her hand left his face he felt empty and a bit disappointed. He forced his eyes open when he heard her giggled.

“What is it?!” He asked her hastily. She couldn’t be thinking that he looked funny, right?

“I’m sorry… but… your skin is so flawless, like that of a girl!” she answered between stifled giggles.

His sweat dropped. “Do I sound like one to you?” he said with a suppressed anger in his tone.

“No!” she exclaimed hurriedly, “I should’ve expected it since you’re a singer and everything, but… still…” She giggled while covering with the back of her hand. The fat Himalayan cat on her lap seemed to be disturbed by its shaking master that it jumped to his lap instead.

Luhan rolled his eyes. Really? That’s all she had to comment about his face?

She calmed after a while and added her description of his. “However, I think you’re probably handsome. Or pretty. Or a bit of both. After all, you had a really small face and nicely placed cheekbones.” She complimented him earnestly.

Probably? He wasn’t probably handsome. He was handsome. However, he still flushed at her flattering remark. This girl was truly the death of him.

“Thank you,” he answered sheepishly. “You’re beautiful too.” he blurted unthinkingly.

“Thanks. I got that a lot.”

He stared at her in disbelief. This girl didn’t just…praise herself?

“What?” she asked cunningly, noticing his sudden silence, “I’ll be lying if I said nobody ever said that to me. You’ve known me for a couple days—you don’t expect me to act meek about it, right?” She chuckled heartily when he didn’t answer.

Luhan followed to laugh afterwards. He wasn’t dealing with a regular girl anyway.

“I guess being blind have made me bolder.” she added as an afterthought.

However, she proceeded to outline her own face with a sullen expression on her face. “But this is the work of surgery. Korean plastic surgeons are the best in the world, huh? Not leaving a single trace from the accident…” she muttered bitterly.

The air between them had changed into a more uncomfortable one. Luhan shifted on his seat, unsure of what to do.

“I always had this regret of still being alive after the accident. I always think, ‘Why didn’t I just die, so I won’t be a burden to everyone?’ With my condition right now, I can hardly do anything of my own and I only give more trouble to everyone around me. But then, I guess, if I had died that day, I wouldn’t had met you.” She turned at Luhan, a pungent smile was spread on her face.

Luhan blushed at her statement but he couldn’t erase the uneasiness that came with her words.

“You reminded me of myself: vain, self-centered, and never opening up to anyone—always keeping a straight face trying to please everyone in the surrounding. I was always looking for more achievements, more praises, that I ignored all that I already had. I forgot about the family that had always taken care of me, the friends that had tried to reach my heart, and the one that I overlooked the most—the ability to do everything on my own.” she looked down to her lap as she talked softly in a poignant manner.

Luhan knew he should be offended—she called him vain and self-centered, after all—but he couldn’t disagree with her opinion of him. It was all true to him. And just like her, he had also failed to notice a lot of things he should've been grateful of. He smiled bitterly at the thought. Probably their close resemblance was the one that attracted them to each other.

"Sometimes, we don't realize what we have until we lose it."

Silence blanketed them as they both reflected on their selves. Luhan closed his eyes and enjoyed the morning breeze that blew his face. The peaceful morning was calming for his soul. He started to remember his family, his friends, his team mates—everyone who had contributed to his life until now. He had been too busy securing his place in the spotlight that he overlooked everything around him. Tears slowly glided on his cheeks as he regretted his past ignorance.

He didn’t know what time it was when he opened his eyes. It seemed that he had accidentally dozed off while thinking. When he looked to the sky, the sun was already high. He glanced to his left and was very disappointed to find out that she had left him alone. He realized that he had to leave for LA in the afternoon and got a disturbing gut feeling that he won’t be able to see her again. With a heavy heart, he dragged his feet home.

When he visited the river side in the first morning after he went back from SMTOWN LA and some Chinese show recordings, he couldn’t spot her anywhere. He desperately searched for her every morning but he couldn't find her. Minseok had once stated his concern about Luhan sudden foul mood lately but Luhan casually ignored it. He wanted to find her. He needed to see her. 

She had been bugging his mind while he was abroad and she had to know it.

He wanted to tell her his name and he needed to know hers.

After a week of vain effort, he finally gave up. He slumped at the bench they used to sit on and  covered his face with both of his palm in frustration. He didn't know where she was, how was she doing, and heck, he didn't even know her name! He raised his head and stared at the river in front of him. He found it nostalgic as it reminded him of ther first meeting, her tears, her melodious laughter, and her feathery touches. He shivered at the memories and chuckled bitterly; he had only known her for less than a week, yet she left a deep impression in him. She had taught him an important lesson: to be true to himself and be grateful of what he has. She was the first girl that he genuinely fell for but he didn't even know her name. He laughed at his foolishness and felt a single tear fell from his eyes. He hastily brushed it away with the back of his hand, a wistful smile was formed on his handsome face.

"Sometimes, we don't realize what we have until we lose it."

He sincerely wished she was doing well wherever she was.

The End

AN: finally! after 4 days... It's finished, guys! tell me how you feel about this story in the comment below  :)

Please and thank you^^

Edit: I've just edited the chapter according to the review I accepted. ^^