01:34.

The man glanced at the clock placed upon the wall of his room. His lonely, dark room. He decided to keep it that way. He always loved dark environments, with not much lights that could contaminate his thoughts.

He was contemplating.

Way past midnight, he decided not to postpone things any longer. His time was short. Too short. Enduring the stinging pain in his stomach, the man grabbed his phone and started to type things randomly. He came up with lots of words.

Yes. He was sick. And he had stopped taking his medicine since a month ago. Figured it would not help him much anyway.

“Shin Hyesung—ani, Jung Pilgyo,” he whispered his own name. Smirking in agony, Hyesung turned off the only light in the room.

“Good night, may your death be peaceful.”

***

Morning. I don’t like morning.

It always sends me the vibes of a new living. A whole new life. I don’t like it at all. By the time morning comes, it always feels like this. The scent of starting anew. Although I always love how the morning dew sends me the scent of heavenly peace, I don’t like the vibe it comes with.

Morning forces a spoonful of new hopes, which I don’t need at all.

But this morning, it didn’t come to me. I was even more than just thankful. I didn’t feel the strange feeling of starting afresh. I felt…the way I usually feel every night. Agony. Pain. Suffer. Much people don’t like being in agony, but it has been a part of me ever since those devils diagnosed me with that one hell of a disease. A deathly disease which has no cure to date. I didn’t like the idea of me dying painfully and slowly too at first, but I have gotten the grip of it already and I can live with it nowadays.

I love being in agony, it makes me feel alive.

Well, come to think about it, I’m sure there are people out there who needs some kind of reminder that they’re still alive, and one of their ways of reminding themselves is pain.

This morning air choked me with another sting in my stomach.

I call it bless.

This morning sting sent a different wave to me. I clutched onto my shirt to hold the pain. It was unbearable, as if someone had just gotten a knife to tear my stomach apart and playing mess with my insides. I recalled myself coughing blood last night.

Coughing another blot of fresh, red blood from my mouth, I knew my time was short. I didn’t have much time to report my slow death to my princess, who’s been dying to meet her prince.

It has been more than enough to be her knight, protecting her from harmness on every side.

But I violated the unwritten rule long time ago, maybe since the day I met her and declared myself as her knight. I had promised myself and my princess that I would take care of her from every harms the would could do to her. A princess like her should not be hurt. A princess like her should stay safe wherever she goes.

A princess like her should fall in love with a prince.

But I violated it.

I had fallen in love with the princess, secretly.

Of course I had to keep it for myself. I didn’t want my feelings to ruin my princess’ mind. Had people known they would have thought I was insane. Yes, perhaps I was. I was insane. Sometimes I just wanted to scream to the world that I love her.

Gosh, I freaking love her.

It was the sweetest unrequited love I have ever had in my entire life. I thanked her for that. I thanked her for unconciously giving me the mental pain I always wanted. Once again, agony reminds me of living. It was none of her fault. She shouldn’t be put in fault under any circumstances. I always make sure of that.

I remembered. Ah, it was her birthday last week.

Might as well tell her, my time was short.

My time was running out.

***

I have a story once...about a knight. He had fallen in love ever so deeply with the wrong person. A princess.

She had been longing to fall in love with a prince. Sadly, he was just a knight. Princesses don't fall in love with knights. Knights are supposed to guard the princess, not falling in love with her. Hence, the knight had violated the unwritten rule. But he couldn't help as he had decided to grow the feeling even more deeper, though he had known it was the sweetest unrequited love.

The knight had chosen to wait, and he waited. People called him a fool for not going after her, but he ignored them. The knight waited, still guarding his princess as he wanted her to not get hurt. He was willing to kill anyone who caused harm to her.

The story has not ended yet, as the knight’s time is running out. He begged the princess,

Princess, please do continue on this fairytale…

The princess begged the knight to stay. It had always been the knight she had always wanted. She wanted no prince, so long as the knight was on her side. She didn’t expect the outcome to be that tragic. She had not dare to tell the truth, as it might hurt the knight’s pride.

Hence, the princess and the knight kept on hurting each other, until the knight felt the most realistic form of pain. The physical pain he could not bear with any longer. His time is running out.

The princess, who had been away for a long time, decided to rush to her knight. She wanted him to stay.

The knight now felt the upmost of agony. He had always enjoyed being in pain, but the pain he was feeling was almost unbearable.

It will not take long time, whispered the princess. I’ll be there as soon as possible.

The knight told his princess that it was not necessary to come rushing to him.

The princess insisted to come.

The knight wanted to say another confession of love to his princess.

No ‘I love you’s should be violated in the fairytale.

It is indeed right.

How was it, the princess wondered to herself. Does it feel really hurt?

I am dying, the knight responded simply.

I will be there for you, do not leave, the princess made another beg. She hoped the knight had not left yet by the time she reached his place.

I am on the anchor, the knight explained. There is no way back.

Do not leave.

…

Please.

It was too late.