Sorry is all I can say
Deceived by your appearance
I’m sitting alone at the corner of my room, letting the emptiness and sadness
surrounds me. I thought I’m already used with this feeling and there’s no difference if you’re gone.
But it’s wrong, I still miss you but there’s no way you’ll ever come back to me. I remember our
childhood days, those days that we used to play with my twin brother, Jerry. I already promise
myself to marry you the day we first met on your mother’s birthday party. I was around 5 years old
yet I fell in love with you, you might not believe it but it’s true. My face was hidden with my black
mask, you tried to remove it by I slap your hands right away, that’s the first time I’ve ever hurt you. I
hope you know that I’m truthfully sorry for that, I just can’t reveal my face to everyone since no one
knows that Jerry have his twin brother; and that’s me, Jeremy. I’m forever curious why my family
hides me from everyone; whenever we have a party I’m always wearing this mask. I can’t figure out
the reason because Jerry and I are just the same when we were young but then they only pay
attention to Jerry. I’m always feeling down whenever they introduce Jerry to our relatives while
they don’t let me to greet them. I learn how to deal with my life, my life that is full of sadness and
sorrow. I don’t care about the others, I just care about you and I hope you care for me too. The time
when we were teenagers we used to go to the same school, the three of us. My feelings for you
just got deeper and little did I know that my twin also have this feelings for you. I approach him
“Jerry, do you like Julia?” His eyes widen at my sudden question. “Why did you ask that? Well, I
really like her.. more than friends” As he answered candidly my question my heart just fell out and
stop beating. That moment I realized that I don’t have a chance to win your heart. The day he
confessed to you and you whole-heartedly accept his confession, I was not surprised because I
already told myself that if I really love you, I’ll be happy if you’re happy.. not to mention, that was the
biggest lie in my life. My just can’t take it how you smile lovingly to him, I’m the first one who
noticed you but of course even though I’ll confess to you like he did. You will never look to me; I’m
a guy who never shows his face, what do I expect? For you to love a mysterious guy? I just need to
deal with the fact that you will never notice this guy behind this mask. Jeremy proposed to you and
you gladly accept it, I saw the whole thing and I think I made the right decision to gave up since I
can see that both of you are happy. My brother is happy, my love is also happy; I can’t ask for more
than this. On the day of your wedding, my family decided to reveal my face to everyone. When I
heard about that news, I just show them my frigid reaction like I don’t care at all. There’s no reason
to reveal me in front of the crowd now that I’m a fully-grown man but who am I to argue, I just need
to follow what they want me to do. That’s my life; I’ll just deal with it. “Jeremy! Y-Your brother died in
a car accident..” My mother told me this sad news while crying into my father’s shoulders. I didn’t
notice that a tear escaped in my eyes. “Julia knows about this matter?” I ask with a worry look. They
just shook their heads and I look up preventing my tears to fall down. “What about the wedding?
We should talk to her and tell her what happens to Jerry.” I quickly grab my phone but my mother
quickly took it. “What are you doing?! I’m going to inform her fiancé, please let me call her.” I said with
a glint of anger in my voice. “No, we can’t do that. If we’re going to cancel the wedding then our
business will suffer. We need Julia’s family to accept our business proposal so there’s no way this
wedding will be cancelled. And you Jeremy, you’ll replace Jerry and get married with Julia. You
understand me right? This is the first time we’ll need your presence” By that, they both leave the
room. I have 12 hours to think, to decide if I’m going to replace my brother and get married to you
or I’ll tell you the truth for you not to live with lies. Long thoughts coming up into my mind and with
that I feel asleep in a deep slumber. The next day, it’s your wedding day and I’m not yet sure with
my decision; I think a little longer and have a conclusion that I should not lie to you. Ready to tell
you the truth as I stand up and walks towards my door but suddenly “Suit yourself; you have 40
minutes to get ready before the wedding starts. If you won’t attend this wedding, I’ll make sure that
Jerry won’t have a proper burial. Do this for your family, this is the last time that you can prove
yourself” My father walks out of the room. I’m standing there, dumbfounded, not knowing what to
do. I drive to the church and waits near the altar, I don’t know if it’s correct to fool you but I need to
do this. “Here comes the bride!” I looked at you straight to the eyes as you walk down the aisle; you
look so beautiful and stunning. I just hope I won’t regret my decision. The wedding was done,
we’re finally married. We live happily for past few years but not until one day Julia slapped me
across the cheek. I was so shocked at her actions then she utter “How can you lie to me? Jeremy.”
My eyes widen to hear my name again. I looked at her in horror and hold her hand “It’s not what you
think. I lied to you because I need to. I never used my brother to have you; instead I gave you up for
him. So please don’t leave me. I’m begging you” my tears flow down to my cheeks as you walked away
from me. I know that the moment you go out from that door. You also leave me and our memories.
“Not every love story has its happy ending. I’m so sorry because I love you so much that I became
greedy and selfish. I’m truthfully sorry for deceiving you using my appearance.” I cried for one last
time as I’ve decided to leave this world forever.
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