Here I am on my bed. I’ve been tossing and turning for a while now. Oh, is it 1:30 am already? I sigh and turn to the right side of the bed. I know… yes, I know… I know that it’s over between the two us, but, why? Why do I still love you? Ugh. I keep on looking at my phone, not to look at the time, but to see if you would call me, or even text me. Yes, I’m waiting. I have always been here… waiting. I never thought that that would be the end of “us”… I never even thought that “we” would ever end. I can’t sleep… I have been thinking of you, of us, the “us” that is now a part of the past. I miss you… I miss you so much… I feel so sad right now; I need you here beside me.

I take my cell phone and stare at it for a while.Do I call you? Why aren’t you calling me? I sigh again. I will forget about this pride of mine, I will call him.

I dial his phone number. It rings for a while. If he doesn’t answer this, do I try again? I thought, but then, someone picked up.

“Hello?” He said. I smile to myself. His voice, it warms me, his very sweet voice. This is it. I have to take this opportunity to tell him everything I feel. I will tell him.

“I’m sorry, if I woke you up,” I said, my voice almost trembling, “I know I shouldn’t do this, I know that it’s over between us…  B-but, I just want to hear your voice… will you please stay like this… for a while?”

He was silent for a while, and then he spoke and said, “I’m with my girlfriend right now.”

What? Did he just say girlfriend? It can’t be true. She’s your girlfriend already? I wanted to tell him this, but no, of course, I can’t. I can’t even speak. The words he just said really broke my heart. I never thought that I would ever be hurt like this.

“I-is she listening?” I asked. I tried to hold back the tears, but… I can’t. I just can’t take it anymore; I broke into tears. “Do you say that I mean nothing to you now? It can’t be true… don’t lie.”

“Sohee…” He said.

I laughed at myself.Sohee… how could you do this? Why did you even call? This is not like you.

“I know you think I’m crazy right now, but yeah, I shouldn’t have called you, but you, you were in the right state of mind, you shouldn’t have picked up, if you didn’t pick up, then I wouldn’t have continued to call you, and then I might have just fallen asleep and I wouldn’t have been hurt like this.” I said, crying.

I wanted to stop talking, but I can’t. How can he easily forget about us… I feel so hurt.

“She is your girlfriend right now… that’s not what I wanted to hear,” I said, more calmly now, “Is it really over? Is it nothing to you? Is that it? Baby… don’t lie… Forgetting me, acting like we are nothing. Is it that easy for you? Is that how you erase me?” I sigh, but continued, “Yes, call me crazy… but I still can’t forget about you… I still love you,” I paused for a while and said, “Goodnight, I won’t remember this tomorrow anyway…” And then, I hanged up. I didn’t give him any more chance to speak or say anything… his next words might hurt me even more.

I was there, sitting on my bed. No Sohee, don’t cry, don’t cry. I kept on trying to stop myself from crying, but the tears, they just kept on coming. My cell phone lights up. I look at it. It’s a text message from him asking if I’m okay. I threw the phone on my pillow. I wipe my tears… I wipe them but they kept on coming. Why won’t they stop? I’m okay… I’ll be okay… so please stop. I lay my head on my pillow and hugged another so tightly. As the tears kept coming, I grip my pillow tighter. His words remain in my head. I can’t believe it… did he really say that she’s his girlfriend already? Is it true? It can’t be… It can’t be…

“Please, don’t lie…” I whisper to the cold night wind as I started to fall into a deep sleep.