Chapter 1 – Flashback

            I drove my car on my way to the park. Today is our anniversary, March 29. Gee. I’m almost late. I can’t stand to let her wait for so long. The song “No Other” played in the radio. I smiled, thinking of this group “Super Junior” It’s almost one year since the day our group disbanded. We have connections though. Well, at least, I was able to confess to Soo Young. After all, I didn’t have any regrets being the famous Choi Siwon, or being a member of SuJu. I enjoyed my life so much. But I’m enjoying it more now, having Soo Young in my life, not just as a friend. But one of my reasons to live. I went out of my car, and saw the tall girl from a far, sitted on a bench, and looking at her watch. I know I’m dead. I sneaked out, not making a single noise, then covered her eyes from behind.

            “Prince Choi.” She said. HAHA. Yeah, that’s how we call each other. And she’s Princess Choi. Lol. I uncovered her eyes, and sat beside her.

            “Did you wait for so long, aein?” I asked, holding her hand.  She smiled.

            “No, not at all.” She said, wiping some sweat on my forehead. Then I put my left arm around her. My right hand, still in her hands.

            “Happy anniversary.” I smiled, and kissed her cheeks. She blushed.

            “Happy anniversary, too. I love you.” She said, sincerely. She’s just ahhhhhh~

            I smiled and leaned closer and her lips met mine, softly. She moved a bit away from me.

            “Ya! This is a public place. This is so awkward.” She pouted. I just chuckled.

            “Who cares? We’re a couple, princess.”

            “I know. But not here, aigoo.” She smiled and pecked my cheeks. “That’s enough for now.” She said and stood up.

            “Why?”

            “We have our plans, right!?” She said and pulled my hand. “Let’s go!!!!!!!”

            “Kiss on my lips first?” I teased.        

            “Kiss on my lips your face.” She said and let go of my hand and turned back. Being so inlove with her, I pulled her to me kissed her lips, deeply, disregarding people who are watching. I don’t care. I love her, and  I just can’t explain it. She pushed me again.

            “Ya! Are you crazy?!” She almost yelled , looking around. I just looked at her eyes, sincerely. They’re shining.

            “Let’s go.” I ignored what she said, and put my left arm around her again. And we went to my car.

           “I’m sorry for that.”  I said, holding her hand. She remained silent. “Princess. I’m sorry. I just can’t control it. I love you and you know that, right?” She faced me and looked at my eyes. She caressed my cheeks, and once again, wiped some sweat on my forehead. Goodness. I’m melting. She leaned closer and kissed my cheeks.

            “I understand. I love you, too. I just want this day to be special. I don’t know how but I’m loving you more and more and more and more and more, Siwon. I love you. Words aren’t enough.” She said, still looking at my eyes with sincerity, with her hands, still caressing my cheeks.

            “Soo Young-ah. You know I also do. All of my days became special ever since you became mine, since the day you said ‘I love you, too, Siwon’, since the day I hugged you, since the day I kissed you, and since the day you said you’re mine. I love you more than you know, Soo Young. I love you more than someone could love his wife. I.. I can’t live without you.” I said, looking at her, too. She smiled.

            “Aish! You’re making me cry, prince!” she giggled and wiped her tears.

            “You started this.” I said and started the car. I held her hand and kissed it, with my eyes closed. “I can’t live without you. I can’t.” I thought.

            “Aigoooo.” She said.

We went to a beach resort owned by my family. And it’s only reserved for the two of us. But we have to go home before dawn. ==/

            “Here we are, Princess.” I smiled at her. I went out of the car first and opened the other door for her. I offered her my hand. She took it and saw the view.

            “Omo. Siwon-ah, this is just perfect.” She said and put her right hand around my waist. She wore her eyeglasses. I put my left arm around her and had a walk. It was not hot at all, 7:30 AM.

            “You’re perfect.” I said. She just smiled. “What’s the reason for those eyeglasses, huh?”

            “Nothing. Just to keep my eyes from not getting melted. You’ve been looking at it so keenly.” She giggled. I removed her eyeglasses and put it on my pocket.

            “I have to see your eyes, or I’ll die.” I said and kissed her forehead.

            “Siwon-ah.” She said. I looked at her, again then she suddenly kissed my lips, passionately and full of love. I can’t feel anything but her lips. I kissed her back, and fought with her lips. My heart smiled. And I know, hers, too. I held her face, her flawless face, as she caresses my hair. I wish this day won’t end.

            “Sooyoung-ah.” I moaned. I just can’t help it, I’m loving her more and more, every minute, no, every second. “I love you….” I said, in between kisses. She stopped. If only we can do more than this. But I better wait for the proper time. I love Sooyoung, and I won’t do that to her unless we get married. Unless we get married.

            “I love you, too.” She pinched my nose, and giggled. I smiled.

            “You wanted to do kisses, huh.”

            “Pabo.” She said and kissed my cheeks once more. Then we had a walk again.

            “Soo Young. Don’t you know, you are my sun, you are my moon, you are my oceans, you are my air. Even without one of them by my side, I’ll die?” But of course God is my all.

            “Really? I don’t know that.” She teased.

           “And I just want those elements to stick with me forever, and the rest of my life.” We’re reaching the shore.

            “Wae?” She asked, with a teasing smile. Does she know what I’m thinking?

            “Uh.. Because.. Because, I don’t wanna die, yet! Of course!” I said. Aish. She got me on that.

            “So, how are you going to do that, Prince?” Okay. The waves touched our feet already. I feel so nervous. I got something from my pocket.

            “Uh…” I kneeled down, disregarding the fact that the waves were just behind me. I took a silent, deep breath and looked at her. “Sooyoung-ah, in order for me to live, I need to have you forever, too. You’re the only one to make my life complete, and perfect. Be mine forever, Sooyoung, my princess. I know this is not that romantic as you want, but can I ask you…. Princess, will you marry me?” I said, and opened the box with a silver diamond ring inside. Sooyoung kneeled as well.

            “Romantic? Siwon-ah, you’re the most romantic guy I’ve ever met.” She said, caressing my cheeks again. “Since the day we became a couple, all those times we had some fun in a coffee shop, spilling coffees at each other. Those days that we remained awake for the whole night at home, watching those romantic movies. The day I introduced you to my friends as my boyfriend on a bible study. Those days that we spent only for each other.. Those times were never enough. Even forever is not enough. And the days with you, are just like my biggest dreams. Siwon-ah, do you expect me to reject this proposal just because you think this is not romantic? My prince, my first love, and my last.. I want to marry you. And I’ll marry you.” She said with tears, and kissed my lips deeply, and that was the best kiss I ever had. Then I hugged her once more saying lots and lots of ‘I love you’ to each other.

            Though everyday with Sooyoung is heaven, those times were just the happiest. I’m going to marry her. Just looking at her, I can’t even think that she’ll be mine. Those words I heard from her were just the sweetest.  I can’t even wish for more.

            It’s time for us to leave. We will go to Sooyoung’s parents to announce the news.

            “I wonder what would be their reaction.” Sooyoung sighed, swaying hands with me like little kids.

            “Me, too.” I smiled, looking at her. “I’m just happy at this very moment.” I said and kissed her forehead. It’s near dawn already, and the wind is blowing. “I love you.” I said once again. She hugged me.

            “I love you, too, more than you could ever imagine. Choi Siwon. More than you could ever imagine.” She boasted while looking at me. I took her inside the car and left the resort.

            “Siwon-ah, stop there. I’ll buy something for mother and father.” Sooyoug pointed on a spot beside a flower shop.

            “Flowers? You’re going to buy flowers, you just bought one yesterday.” I said, but did what she said.

            “No. Because you can’t park on the other side.” She looked on the other side of the road. “I’m gonna buy European pasta. Stay here.” She said and went out. I looked at her, crossing to the other side of the road. Then I imagined a family with her, with kids, happy. I can’t wait for that day. Then Sooyoung went out of the shop. I went outside the car as well, and waved a hand. She smiled at me, crossing the road, without noticing a car on motion. She got hit, with blood all over that certain spot. I ran towards her almost dead body, with tears on my face, with my mind blank. People gathered as well. I carried her head and put it on my lap. “Don’t worry, we’ve called an ambulance already.” I heard someone said but I didn’t pay attention. I can feel Sooyoung gasping. I wiped her tears. “You’re going to be saved, just hold on. Keep on focus.”  I calmly said, holding her hand tightly. She placed the other one on my cheeks, wiping my sweaty face. She caressed my hair as well. “Ya. Just rest, princess. Just rest.” I can’t hold the tears from my eyes.  I just can’t see her like this.

           “Siwon-ah.” She weakly said. “I love you, and you know that, right?” I simply nodded. “Sorry but I have to go. I just can’t be with you forever.” She cried.

            “Stop talking about nonsense, no one’s going to leave. Don’t cry.. Please reserve your strength.” She leaned closer and kissed my lips lightly. She smiled.

            “Hey, we’re kissing in public..” She smiled, with those sincere eyes again. She once again touched my face, roaming around every corner, and lost her consciousness.

            She was dead.

“Tonight, I’m falling and I can’t get up.

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.

And every night, I miss you.

I can’t just let go.

And know the stars are holding you, holding you,

Holding you, tonight.”

            It was a week ago since the day she died. My apartment was so dark and messy.  I can see the stars from here, and it reminded me of her again. How her smiles enlightened up my world, how her laughs make my soul jump, how her voice made my heart skipped a bit. I can’t believe I can still manage to cry. I miss her so much, I feel so hopeless without her by my side.

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