“I can finally come next month! Can you believe that? I’m finally getting to see you!” Luhan cheered happily through the phone. International landline calls were ing expensive, but Sehun’s bills were the company’s bills, so he never minded pressing all those long numbers, waiting all those extra beeps to connect to Luhan who sees the sun an hour after him.

Sehun smiled as if Luhan could see him, sitting silently on the floor leaning to his bed. He gripped the phone with such a force he thought he would pop bones out of his skin, the phone pressed warm and tight to one ear. He never expected much of those joyful calls. They were delusional, they were fake.

“Sounds nice. Finally,” Sehun finally whispered halfheartedly to the phone. He actually did not want to answer.

To Luhan, it was only God’s belated will.

To Sehun, it was Luhan in a conspiracy.

Half the winter passed and the spring was almost over and they have not seen each other ever since. Even the last meeting was not fulfilling to Sehun. He felt that the feelings had faded, or to positively say, he was too careful. He was numbed of falling down a million cliffs it felt like the rocks below were mere trampolines that would bounce him back only to let him fall down again.

Once at the end of January, Luhan promised to fly to Seoul for Valentine’s day.

Sehun was excited, but still, he had a watch guard in his heart that would constantly bark at him telling to keep his hopes low and expect nothing. Counting down to Valentine’s day, he asked his friends what he should buy, or what he should wear, or where he should take his distant boyfriend that was finally coming to town.

As if the term distant boyfriend exists.

On the promised night of Luhan’s arrival, Sehun received a text from Luhan saying that Luhan felt terrible that his flight was not delayed, but canceled due to a snow storm.

Sehun sighed and typed back, an answer he had been spitting out but hiding in soft, forgiving tones for years.

It’s okay. Maybe it’s not the time.

Plus the smiley, he thought.

:)

Sehun would love to tell One Night Services to wrap and deliver a punch in the face to Beijing overnight, but those services didn’t deliver punches and he was still too kind and forgiving to do that. Maybe the snow storm was that bad. Maybe the airplane, no, maybe airplanes broke down. Maybe the snow even shut down the world’s busiest airport, exactly on the day he wished for sunlight.

Or maybe it was just Luhan. Maybe it was Luhan’s playful nature trying to put a prank on Sehun. Maybe Luhan had more important things to do on Valentine’s day or the days prior to that, like grooming his cat for example. Maybe Luhan ran out of money to buy a new ticket.

But Luhan was ing rich, at least that’s what he knew. And weather-canceled flights were always redeemed by reschedules on better days; it’s a part of the international standard of operation. Had Luhan cared enough, he would still arrive in Seoul, be it on February 15^th this year or February 13^th of the following year.

Sehun was used to it.

Sehun had saved enough money to buy more than ten round trips to China. He had told that very fact to Luhan infinite times on the scarce times they would converse. Luhan told Sehun to save his money for better things, that Sehun was not allowed to be troubled by such expenses.

No, accumulatively, Sehun had spent greater on those technical cross-boundary related stuff they had to overcome. Calling cards, airmail, visas, canceled tickets. Everything. Sehun would usually wonder if it was only him not being sincere, and forced himself to believe so. Sehun would feed himself with lies so it would help him believe that Luhan really really could not make it for him.

Once, Sehun gathered enough guts to pack and go to China without anyone’s permission. He packed, wore enough coats, checked his passport, everything. He took a cab to Incheon and once he arrived, he called Luhan.

“Yes, Honey?” Luhan answered across the line. “You don’t call at these hours.”

“I’m at the airport and I have a flight to China in two and a half hours. Are you home?”

Yes, it had reached that point that Sehun had to do that.

“N-no… I’m in Nanjing right now, I-I’m staying here for a week. You should’ve told me earlier,” Luhan said in a panicked tone, worried that Sehun would continue his steps.

God damn it, Sehun muttered in his mind, but he only let out a sigh. “Now what should I do? Is it okay if I trade my ticket with one to Nanjing?”

 “D-don’t! I… I’m staying with my relatives.”

Sehun was on the verge of crushing Table Mountain into red sand with bare hands. What does that ing have to do with me?!

“Well… alright, then. Have fun,” Sehun smiled, trying to keep whatever anger he was feeling to himself.

Sehun hung up and slammed his cellphone to the marble floor.

Halfway through March, Luhan texted again, saying that he had one spare week he could spend in Korea.

At the time he received the message, Sehun was wondering if he should swim in hope or drown in loathe.

Reportedly, Luhan’s lecturer had to see him on that very day and Luhan was given a very burdening task to do that he could do nothing else but research on it. Sehun knew, smiled to the news, and nodded acceptingly.

Good luck, he typed bitterly.

Plus the smiley.

:)

Again, on May 29^th Sehun received a similar call.

“I can finally come next month! Can you believe that? I’m finally getting to see you!” Luhan cheered happily through the phone. International landline calls were expensive, but Sehun never minded pressing all those long numbers, waiting all those extra beeps to connect to Luhan who sees the sun an hour after him.