Dongwoo remembers when they first met; he was the awkward new boy in town. He remembers Allison, her little four-year-old self laughing at his ten-year-old self as he slips on the pavement (truthfully, it was because the pavement moved – he swears it moved).

 

 

 

For the new video game, he found himself babysitting her when she was eight and he was a desperate fourteen-year-old. “Dongwoo!”

 

Dongwoo looks up from his comic book, “Hmm?” The cartoons were supposed to entertain her for another half hour, but her inquiring eyes are on him.

 

“Teach me how to play the paino,” she whines.

 

“Okay,” he grins and holds her hand while leading her to his piano. He sits on the piano bench with her on his lap, pressing random keys.

 

“Alli, don’t fool around,” he coos and she nods obediently.

 

“Okay, so first,” he places his hand on top of hers and shows her which keys to press and when to press them. They eventually get 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' accomplished and she’s clapping excitedly.

 

“That was so cool!” She laughs, happy and excited; without a single care for the world.  

 

“It is, isn’t it,” he smiles.

 

When Alli gets bored, they’re back on the couch watching the same cartoon.

 

He feels Alli poking him on the side and he cranks his neck to look at her, “What’s wrong?”

 

“What’s kissing?” Allison makes a face – something between a pout and a disgusted frown.

 

He laughs and ruffles her hair, “It’s nothing, Alli. You’ll learn about it someday.”

 

“Did you kiss anyone before?”  She asks, her eyes narrowing.

 

“No no, don’t worry; you’re still my favourite girl.”

 

She doesn’t believe him so she tells him to promise her via pinky swears. He kisses her on the forehead and promises that she’ll always be his little girl – no matter what.

 

 

 

Dongwoo remembers his first kiss – he was sixteen, a hormonal teenager with his crush on their first date. He kisses her good bye and they part ways. He’s all giddy from his first kiss and can’t wait to call Sunggyu to rave about it. Before he gets to his front door, he sees Alli, her ten-year-old self running ato him.

 

“What’s wrong, my little girl?” Dongwoo asks, ruffling her hair and kneels a bit to see her eye-level. She’s pouting and a little bit upset at something. 

 

“Auntie said you were out with a girl,” she mutters, bitter.

 

He laughs, “Don’t be jealous, you’re still my favourite.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

They pinky swear again, true to his promise but for some reason, he can’t get that kiss out of his mind.

 

 

 

Dongwoo goes to university in a faraway land and lives off cup ramen and water. If it wasn’t for Sunggyu, Dongwoo was sure he’d forget to eat and sleep. But then again, university was about being independent and finding yourself, right? Dongwoo learned that he loves noodles.

 

“Dongwoo, that girl’s –”

 

“Allison,” he corrects.

 

“Calling again,” Sunggyu rolls his eyes at Dongwoo who reaches for his phone with a smile.

 

“Allison, it’s late,” he comments and from the corner of his eyes, he can see Sunggyu rolling his eyes again.

 

“Dongwoo, stop acting like my parents. I haven’t seen you in a year, are you coming home this year? You missed Christmas and you were supposed to go trick-or-treating with me but you missed that too!” Alli whines and Dongwoo knows she’s frowning again. Lately, she’s been doing that many times on their phone calls.

 

“Alli, I’m twenty and you’re fourteen. You don’t need a chaperon anymore and you have your friends with you.”

 

She sighs, “It’s different Dongwoo. You missed last year’s Halloween too.”

 

Dongwoo chuckles, while scratching the back of his head. He forgot how attached Alli is to him and the years of solitude between them cause little crease in their friendship. “I’ll be back this weekend.”

 

After an hour of talking about school, her Halloween costume, her clarinet and everything a typical adolescent talks about, they hang up with him sighing and making a promise to talk more often, and  ending the call with her merry laugh. It’s like time didn’t do anything but change their appearances – deep down, he is still her best friend and she’s his little girl.

 

“So that’s why your phone bill’s so high,” Sunggyu laughs, flicking through the channel.

 

Dongwoo shrugs. He’s not very sociable and loses his phone often, so one would be surprised to see the high digits at the end of the month – not many people know he can spend hours listening to Allison talk.  

 

It’s something only they could understand.

 

 

 

Yeah I remember when we stole the night
We'd lie awake but dreaming
till the sun would wash the sky

 

 

Sunggyu decides to tag along on his journey home but he still complains on the train ride. “You grew up in a quiet city,” Sunggyu says, pulling his luggage off the platform.

 

“Yup, in a town where everyone knows everyone. It gets lonely at times,” Dongwoo’s trying to flag a taxi now.

 

 

 

Before Dongwoo reaches for the doorknob, the door flings open and Alli dashes into his arms. He hugs her back, as tightly as her and finds it easier to rest his chin on top of her head.

 

“Alli’s been waiting for you,” his mom says, poking her head from the kitchen. Sunggyu coughs rather loudly and Dongwoo remembers to introduce him to his mother and vice versa. While they’re in the kitchen, Alli’s blabbering about her new school year.

 

“You need to stop growing so fast,” he chuckles while she hugs his arm.

 

“You need to grow faster,” she mutters and he’s a little taken back. Back then, his little girl would laugh and agree with him, now she’s bickering with him with her witty remarks. Sunggyu comes out of the kitchen, munching on something and nods to Alli.

 

“Alli, this is Sunggyu, Sunggyu, this is Alli.”

 

“Hello,” Sunggyu says, extending his hand.

 

Alli shakes it happily, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

 

They’re then whisked away to dinner with the loud banter and more fussing on his mom’s behalf. It’s a typical dinner for Dongwoo and he notices the feeling of fulfillment filling up the empty voids in his heart. Maybe it’s from the straying from the warmth of his family, of his friends. Maybe he isn't ready to grow up yet. He doesn’t know but he likes it.

 

 

His head is on his nice fluffy pillow at home, it felt strange. He missed that sorry excuse of a bed back at the dorm. Apparently Sunggyu can sleep anywhere and any time, he’s been snoring for the past two hours. Sunggyu deserves it though; he never really had a good night’s sleep since the semester started.

 

But why can’t he fall asleep? Maybe he’s just too happy? Happy from coming home, happy from being with his friends, happy from being with his family? What he does know is that he needs to sleep.

 

He thinks of that place, the rooftop. Maybe looking at infinity will get him tired. He’s careful not to ruffle the sheets and Sunggyu rolls the other way, revealing part of his back. Dongwoo laughs and pulls the hem of his shirt down.

 

As he walks in the hallway, he remembers to avoid the squeaky spots and climbs the ladder, to the attic, leading to the roof. He’s sitting with his light jacket and he forgets how much he misses this place. Where he went to when he was stressed out about the entrance exam, when he broke up with his girlfriend, when he was so confused. He also remembers Alli being there for everything. Listening to him rant, mutter and cry.

 

“Dongwoo!” He hears whispers of his name and he looks down to see Alli in her yard. He quickly climbs down the ladder from the roof, jumps the fence between their houses and drapes his coat over Alli’s t-shirt.

 

“Young lady, do you know what time it is?” He asks.

 

She laughs, “I saw you from the kitchen window when I was getting a late snack.”

 

He sighs, “Go back to sleep, it’s late.”

 

“You only go up there when you’re upset, what’s upsetting you?” She asks, wearing her big glasses, her eyes reflecting their many memories together.

 

“Nothing,” he tousles her hair. Nothing that should concern her.

 

“Tell me,” she pouts and flicks his forehead, “You’re older now but you’re still as stubborn as ever.”

 

“Hey now, stop treating me like I’m younger,” he teases and represses his laughter.

 

She tiptoes and ruffles his hair, “Then stop acting younger and tell me, what’s upsetting you?”

 

“I’ll tell you when we’re up on the roof. My roof or your roof?”

 

“My roof’s nicer,” she remarks and Dongwoo rolls his eyes. Both of their houses have the same interior and exterior design; no one’s nicer or uglier.

 

The minute they get up there, Alli rests her head on his shoulder. It’s natural for both of them and he leans back, both of his palms on the roof tiles.

 

“I don’t know why I went up there, I couldn’t sleep. I guess it suddenly hit me that I’m going to be graduating soon; I’ll be working now, planning things on my own, making my own decisions. It’s a weird thought,” he chuckles. He'll be responsible for his own actions, his own words, his own character. He has to find himself now, no guidance, no advice. 

 

“I want to grow up faster,” Alli says, hugging her knees.

 

“Why?”

 

Dongwoo wants to be a child forever, without a care for the world.

 

“Because, then I could see you more often. I never see you anymore. You were supposed to be there when I graduated in middle school and, you were supposed to go trick-or-treating with me every year. You promised.”

 

He chuckles, “Growing up comes with things you don’t want – broken promises, tears, stress,” he sighs, “I’m sorry for missing your graduation ceremony and trick-or-treating.” 

 

“You’re forgiven but you have to make up for it somehow.”

 

“What would you like me to do then?”

 

“Get me a Rilakkuma plushie, the 20” inch one!”

 

“So he can become a pair with Korilakuma?”

 

“Yup,” she nods excitedly.

 

“So, what’s happening in your freshman year? Anyone you like? What happened to that boy you was talking about last month – Lee Sungyeol, right?”

 

Her cheeks turn a nice shade of crimson and she smiles, “Sungyeol’s my friend, I don’t like him in that way.”

 

“Awe, you know you can tell me. We’ve been best friends for so long,” Dongwoo nudges her and wiggles his eyebrows.

 

“Okay, maybe a little bit,” she mutters, “Just a little bit.” She shows how big this “little bit” is with her index finger and thumb. He finds it adorable how she has to report how great the extent of her crush to him. 

 

It feels strange talking to Alli about her love life. Dongwoo practically raised her and to see her frustrated about this causes something inside of him to die a little.

 

“How did you meet this ‘Sungyeol?’”

 

Alli gives him a weird look. “Don’t be jealous, I like you this much!” Alli spreads her arms wide apart.

 

“I’m not jealous,” he rolls his eyes. He’s anything but jealous – happy even. “Don’t change the topic young lady.”

 

She frowns like a little kid who's in trouble, “I met him in grade 6 when he transferred to my school. We started off as good friends, he’s really childish and I don’t know, charming?” She answered, flustered. “You happy?!”

 

“You’re all grown up, it’s kind of tragic.”

 

Alli gives Dongwoo a little punch.

 

They talk and talk until Alli falls asleep and Dongwoo's watching her, protecting her. The only problem was getting her down from the roof. Her head slowly slides off his shoulder so he shifts her head to his lap where she sleeps soundly for the rest of the night. He watches the sun slowly wash the sky with its brilliance, casting a light glow on her brown hair. She mutters something inaudibly and he smiles, it’s just like the old times.

 

 

 

What can I do?
Everything that matters breaks in two

 

 

Sunggyu’s been grumbling on the bus, in the mall and the moment he steps into the store. Dongwoo’s been smiling the whole ride but it doesn’t rub off on Sunggyu.

 

“Come on, Gyu, lighten up,” Dongwoo jabs Sunggyu who has his eyes narrow at everything in his line of sight.

 

“You rush my breakfast just to go to a plushie store?” Sunggyu demands, flailing his arms. 

 

It’s been ones years now and every time he visits, Alli would remind him that he forgot her 20 inch Rilakkuma plushie and yesterday on the phone was no exception. Since he’s returning home for the holidays, he might as well give this to her as her Christmas present.

 

Despite Sunggyu having a decent eight hours of sleep, his eyes are still narrowed at everything slightly frilly in sight. All the sleep in the world couldn’t satisfy him.

 

“It’s not just any plushie store, it sells Rilakkuma and Korilakkuma,” Dongwoo corrects.

 

“Kuma what? Those freaky bear slippers you have?” Sunggyu rolls his eyes, “No, we’re not buying any plushies for the dorm.”

 

“It’s not for me but Alli.” Dongwoo shrugs. “The bear slippers are so cute, how could you call them creepy?”

 

Sunggyu rolls his eyes again – as surprising as it sounds.

 

“You pamper her too much. I remember shopping for her birthday a few months ago and now this.”  

 

“I kind of owe her,” Dongwoo scratches the back of his head and Sunggyu sighs. He practically owes her the world.

 

“How about this one?” Sunggyu picks up a six inch one and Dongwoo shakes his head.

 

“The princess wants a 20 inch one, to compensate for my absence at her graduation ceremony and high school orientation,” Dongwoo can imagine the digits in front of his eyes.

 

“She’s a pricy one,” Sunggyu chuckles, peering at the prices of the plushies. 

 

“She’s the only one so go figure,” Dongwoo replies.

 

“Hello mister, how can I help you today?” A young woman asks, caked in makeup and bright smiles.

 

Sunggyu points to Dongwoo, gesturing for him to speak. “I’m looking for the Rilakumma 20 inch edition.”

 

“Right this way sir,” she leads, “Is this for your sister?”

 

Dongwoo shakes his head. “ A –”

 

“A girlfriend?”

 

Sunggyu bursts out laughing and Dongwoo glares at him. “She’s just a close friend,” he smiles at the sales attendant.

 

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes.

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“She must be someone special,” she says and leaves Sunggyu and Dongwoo alone to choose. Dongwoo looks at the price tag of one of them and concurs. Yeah, Alli’s pretty special.

 

 

When Sunggyu’s flagging a taxi at the train station, Dongwoo looks around at the town he grew up in. It feels different, the air still feels fresh. Dongwoo feels foreign in the house he grew up in. From the bright chandeliers to the blue curtains, it made his bland apartment in Seoul look like a mental asylum.

 

“Hi Mom,” he sheepishly smiles while she chokes him in a tight hug.

 

“Your father and I thought you died or something, it’s almost been half a year since we saw you two,” she complains and Sunggyu gives him a look of amusement.

 

“Sorry Mom, it’s just that the semester’s keeping me busy and I’m trying to complete it as quickly as I can. That way, I can come home sooner and see you much more often.” Dongwoo says, hugging his mom tightly.

 

“Sunggyu, you make sure Dongwoo’s eating, okay? I can’t trust him and his sweet words,” his mother teases and Sunggyu laughs.

 

“Yes, Mrs. Jang, will do!”

 

“Boys, get dress in about an hour,” Dongwoo’s father orders when Dongwoo and Sunggyu are unpacking their belongings – technically, Sunggyu was finished a while ago so he lies on the bed, complaining and inquiring about Dongwoo’s belongings (from bubble wraps to boxes).

 

“Why?”

 

“Oh, you didn’t tell him yet?” Dongwoo’s father yells down the stairs and they hear a faint: “No!”

 

“We’re going to the Shim’s for dinner today, it’s a tradition.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Sunggyu gives Dongwoo a look and Dongwoo ignores it.

 

 

 

“Is a suit really necessary? We’ve known them for years, we could come in our pyjamas if we wanted to!” Dongwoo complains, his mother fussing with his tie.

 

“It’s necessary,” she retorts, giving him a warning look.

 

Sunggyu manages with his black suit, fixing the sleeve’s hem. “How did you know you had to bring a suit?” Dongwoo ask.

 

“It’s Christmas, there’s bound to be some celebration,” he remarks and Dongwoo scowls at him. Know-it-all.

 

 

At the Shim’s house, Dongwoo’s father chats with Mr. Shim about “adult” things like Korea’s economy. Sunggyu, being a business student, can’t wait to join. Mrs. Shim and his mother are talking about their latest book club meeting. They all lead simple lives in this simple town. Dongwoo tries to join the business talk but he’s hopelessly lost and escapes to their den, looking at the Christmas tree.

 

He’s looking at the ornaments because some of them are made of glass. A photo can be inserted inside and Dongwoo finds a lot of pictures of him and Alli. He looks at their first Christmas together, he was what? Eleven, and she was five in her little red dress and him looking like he’s wearing his father’s suit with the long sleeves.

 

Growing up is a concept, he believes that it’s a theory when children try to act like adults, find their place in life’s muddle, but deep down, they’re all kids trying to find themselves. Changes happen, it’s natural, but it could take years before someone starts growing up or they could start ‘growing up’ at young ages.

 

He finds a tap on his shoulder and turns around to see Alli in a wine color dress and her hair pinned up. She has light make up on and he finds himself breathless for a moment – not at her beauty, (though she is beautiful) but at how elegant she looks. How she carries herself now is too different and he doesn’t think he can accept that.

 

“Merry Christmas!” Alli’s red-glossed lips smile and her (longer) arms pull him into a hug. He hugs back and feels the slight curve of her body.

 

“Merry Christmas to you too,” Dongwoo awkwardly laughs, running his finger through his hair. “You’re surviving sophomore year?” Last year, he was talking about freshman year, now it's sophomore.

 

Alli rolls her eyes, “You sound like my dad, Dongwoo, but yes, I’m doing fine.” Her eyes land on the bag in his hand, they start to glow and he’s slightly worried.

 

“Is that for me?” Alli asks and Dongwoo shakes his head, teasing her.

 

“It’s for my favourite girl, though I don’t see her tonight.” Dongwoo looks over her shoulder and pretends to search for someone. “Nope, she’s not here.”

 

Dongwoo watches as her face darkens and chuckles. “This isn’t funny Jang Dongwoo, I demand you to give me my present right now.”

 

“Like I said, it’s for my favourite girl – Ow! You don’t have to hit me, this is abuse you know?” Dongwoo’s rubbing his arm on the spot her fist connected with.

 

Alli’s grinning now, “That’s what you get for saying I’m not your favourite girl. I am, okay? Now, my gift.” She extends her hand and laughs a bit.

 

Dongwoo puts the plushie out of her reach, “You have to get it first,”

 

Her lips form a line of contempt and she crosses her arms. “Just give me the doll Dongwoo or I’ll throw away your bubble wrap.”

 

“That’s going too far Missy, if I was your father, I’d ground you.” Dongwoo retorts and Alli bursts out laughing. His bubble wrap obsession still doesn’t wear down, and it even seems like he’s more obsessed with it.

 

“Fine, don’t get mad if I scratch you.” She warns before tiptoeing for the bagl. Dongwoo stretches his arm, making the bag rise higher in the air and watches as Alli fails. She eventually gets back down on the sole of her feet and contemplates on what she should do. Dongwoo’s worried when a glint lights her eyes and she reaches for the toy again. He grins because he knows he’s taller than her but he didn’t expect her to push him.

 

Dongwoo was never known for his grace so he stumbles backward and onto the couch with Alli landing on top of him. He’s stun at their close proximity. He just has to lean forward and their lips would touch. This thought sets his cheeks on fire and Alli takes this chance to grab the bag out of his hand. She giggles while standing up and sticks her tongue out at him. “I got it!” She starts laughing and runs to the kitchen where all the adults are to marvel about his gift to her.

 

Dongwoo sits up and lets his thoughts run wild. He thought of the most absurd thing yet here she is, giggling about the most juvenile thing – a Christmas present. He thought of kissing her, pressing his lips against hers. It’s wrong, it’s so wrong.

 

He’s a monster.

 

 

 

New Year's a blur as Dongwoo drinks too much and Sunggyu and his mother are helping him climb the stairs to his room.

 

“I’m sorry Sunggyu, he doesn’t drink very often but this silly boy went full out on the drinks tonight,” she chuckles, resting him on his bed.

 

“It’s okay Mrs. Jang, I have to thank you for treating me so well,” Sunggyu laughs, and casts a disbelief glance at his best friend.

 

“He still needs me to baby him like this,” Dongwoo’s mother jokes as she takes off his shirt and buttons his pyjama top.

 

Sunggyu can somewhat understand a mother’s heart after looking after this dork for four years. Dongwoo’s been frustrated lately and difficult to understand – quite a big contrast from his usual happy-go-lucky self.

 

When Dongwoo’s don in his teddy bear pyjamas, Sunggyu’s staring at his friend peculiarly.

 

“So Dongwoo, what’s confusing you recently?” Sunggyu asks.

 

Dongwoo stirs a bit upon hearing his name and rolls over. “Horrible…friend,” he slurs and Sunggyu smiles. So it’s Allison.

 

“Too young…gross.”

 

Sunggyu sits down, cross legged, staring at Dongwoo’s back and chuckles. “Well, this is interesting.”

 

 

 

The next morning, Dongwoo tells Sunggyu that he’s heading back to their dorm to finish off the holiday homework. Sunggyu doesn’t question him and agrees to tag along on his trip back. He didn’t bring much so packing wasn’t hard.

 

“So err, do you remember anything last night?” Sunggyu ask while contemplating on a t-shirt to wear and Dongwoo gives him a weird look. Sunggyu had difficulty trying to figure out if Dongwoo was perplex by the question or by his choice of clothing – all of which, Dongwoo was very expressive about.

 

“Did I say something weird last night?” Yes, you did.

 

“No, you talked about wanting to eat or something,” Sunggyu shrugs.

 

“Oh, I guess I was really hungry then,” Dongwoo laughs.

 

They hear someone’s stomach grumble and burs t out laughing.  

 

“You still are.” Sunggyu states.

 

Dongwoo reacts with a weak: “Shut up!”

 

Dongwoo forgets his bubble wrap at home and complains on the train.

 

 

 

Do you remember you at all

 

 

A year later, Dongwoo comes back during the spring break and Sunggyu’s back in his hometown. He's only back because his father complained that he didn't come back the previous spring break, the same year he spent Christmas with them. He comes back almost (unwillingly) but he remembers to brings back homework and textbooks to finish. Last semester was more fun when he was in the classroom as a student teacher for a semester. The students were welcoming (considering their age) and he talked to them a lot. The teachers grew fond of him as well and he received good reports from them.

 

Now that the semester is over and the second one already started, he’s not used to the sudden workload. The work wasn’t due until the end of the semester; he decided to start it early because he needed a distraction. Alli continues to text him frequently and he doesn’t hate it – he just wishes he wasn’t so happy whenever he saw her name. One of his friends, Woohyun, joked that he couldn’t be his friend anymore because he's a e.

 

If he had the choice, he wouldn’t return, but with his mom wailing on the phone and his dad begging him to come back, Dongwoo buys the train ticket the next day. When he hears the doorbell ringing downstairs, he stumbles out of his seat.

 

He opens the door and Alli stood there in her cardigan. “Dongwoo, play this video game with me! I’m sick and I can’t go outside.”

 

Dongwoo’s head shoots up, genuinely concern for her well-being. “Are you feeling any better?”

 

She nods, “A lot, and I’ll be better if you come!” He winches a bit, her smile’s too bright for him. He doesn’t want to see it fade.

 

“Sorry I can’t, I have work to do.” Her face falls as she takes in every word.

 

Another rejection to add to the pile of rejections – the pile is growing high. “But you’re on spring break.” She utters.

 

“This is the last year before I graduate, I can’t screw up.” He scratches the back of his neck and watches as Alli’s frown grows deeper and deeper. She mutters a low “fine” and stomps off.  

 

Before she leaves, he hears her whisper: “You never have time for me anymore.”

 

Two years ago, he remembers Alli smiling over her new cell phone and immediately called him. Her first caller, she would laugh and say over the line. That was when she was fifteen and now she’s seventeen and now, she's back to her old video games. He wants to be there for her and the shock he received when he saw her a few days ago didn’t wear off.

 

Her eyes line with black coal, eyelashes thickened and lengthen to the fullest, and she’s clad in clothing he sees in magazines. Her hair’s now a dark shade of brown that glows chestnut brown in the sunlight. She’s growing up so fast.  He guesses that’s why he can’t look at her in the eye; he can’t accept his little girl growing up, he can’t accept his little girl as a woman.

 

Dongwoo’s conscience haunts him for the rest of the evening. He remembers Alli’s livid eyes when they left and the words that bore holes in his head, he could feel the empty space now.

 

He picks up his phone and presses a few keys.

 

Hey.

 

-Dongwoo

 

He sends the text message and receives a reply almost immediately.

 

Hello.

 

-Alli

 

He chuckles, she’s still mad.

 

Someone’s a little grumpy. Are you still sick?

 

-Dongwoo

 

 

You know why = = Yes, I am.

 

-Alli

 

Soon, Dongwoo fumbles over the key with difficultly, so Alli presses a different key. Dongwoo jumps a little when his phone starts ringing.

 

“H—Hello?”

 

“Why do you sound so nervous? We’ve talked like this before but that was years ago, I wonder whose fault it is?”

 

Sarcasm was laced in her voice and Dongwoo inwardly sighs. As much as he’s grown up (he likes to believe that) and she’s grown up, her infantile remarks are still intact.

 

He can’t help but notice that her voice is lower, richer and a slight nuance of experience, so different than he remembered. Sooner or later, their voices will change again and they will try to compare it to the old voices, only to find disappointment – they forgot what the old voices sounded like.

 

“I’m sorry about that.”

 

“About what?”

 

She’s doing it on purpose but he can understand why. He hasn’t been playing the ‘best friend’ role very well. Every pinky swear is broken. “For being such a crappy person, forgive me?”

 

“Help me defeat the level first,” she demands.

 

She still has no mercy.  “Alli, it’s late and it’s –”

 

“We have no school tomorrow, come on. Or I’m not going to talk to you.”

 

“Be there in 5?”

 

“Okay, bye!” She ended with a laugh and he knows he’s screwed.

 

 

When he stands on the Shim’s doormat, Mrs. Shim welcomes him in and asks Dongwoo to bring up the snacks. “She’s a little grumpy from being sick so don’t mind her, okay?” Her mother pats him on the back and he grins.

 

“Of course.” He smiles because how could he possible be mad at her? 

 

So Dongwoo carries the tray of fruits from strawberries to grapes, all neatly assorted to be visually appealing. He isn’t surprise that her parents don’t mind him visiting at this time nor do they mind him up in her room, giggling through the late evening.

 

“Dongwoo?” He hears her voice before he could knock. He turns the doorknob and pokes his head inside. She’s on her wooden floor, game controller in her hands and a mound of tissues.

 

“How did you know it was me?” He chuckles, setting the tray on the floor and settles besides her.

 

“The sound of your footsteps hasn’t changed,” she laughs and he stares at her, wide-eyed and mutters: creeper.

 

She sets a game controller in his hands, “Now, beat this level for me.”

 

“Got it.” He says, and the next hours are spent laughing, while trying to not curse at the stupid boss in the game. He beat this level in the past with ease but for some reason, it’s so hard now. In the next half hour, Alli dozes off when Dongwoo finally wins the whole game.

 

“Yo Alli! Did you see that?” He nudges her but he feels a light weight on his shoulder. He turns to her and she’s sound asleep, with red flakes on her cheeks from her cold. He smiles warmly and picks her up and sets her down on her bed. He sits on the edge, staring at her purple room last year. He remembers video calling her when she was painting it. It was so simple, she just had to take a brush, dip it in the world and swap, swap. Somehow, she got paint on the washroom door and started panicking when she came back. Dongwoo doesn’t remember laughing so hard before but apparently, she wasn’t too happy with his response and begged him to help her hide it. He spends the next hour on the web, trying to find solutions on how to wipe the paint off. In the end, she resorted to covering it up with nail polish. Before coming up, he thinks he saw remnants of the nail polish still on the door.

 

He chuckles a little too loud and Alli stirs a bit in her sleep. He stops laughing and shuts off his chain of memories. He stares at her sleeping figure and draws her blanket up to her chin. She’s the little girl he has to protect, he can’t let her get hurt and he definitely won’t let him be the one to hurt her.

 

“Good night baby girl,” he bends down to kiss her softly on the forehead.

 

 

 

When he heads down the stairs with the tray, Mrs. Shim thanks him for being with Alli. He dismisses it, saying “It’s nothing, really.” The minute he steps into his house, his cell phone rings. He picks it up and is extremely happy during the first few minutes of the talk. His face drops when he ends the call and quickly rushes off to his bedroom.

 

He starts filling his suitcase with clothes again, he has to leave.

 

 

 

As deep as I need you,
You wanna leave it all

 

 

“Dongwoo wants to – what?” Alli hears her mother exclaim from the kitchen. Talking to Mrs. Jang usually led to loud outbreaks. It seems like even his own mother didn’t understand her son’s decisions sometimes.

 

“He wants to move out? Why?”

 

Allison’s usual placid personality is gone as her hands curl into tight fists. Leave? Why? He never told me. It’s like she doesn’t know him anymore. He’s always coming back, and then leaves without much of a notice. This cycle continues and Alli thinks her heart breaks every time he leaves without a goodbye. It hurts.

 

“Alli, did you know about Dongwoo wanting to move?” Her mom asks and she shrugs.

 

“He never told me – in fact, he didn’t tell me anything.” She misses him, so much and it’s getting unbearable.

 

 

 

When the semester ends, Dongwoo graduates from teacher’s college and Alli moves to senior years. They don’t call or text anymore, rather, Dongwoo forgets to reply and Alli gets tired of waiting.

 

 

 

Talk to me
I'm throwing myself in front of you

 

Dongwoo adjusts his collar shirt as the principal gives him a tour of the school. Suddenly, his messenger bag’s too heavy and he feels the eyes of the students on him. He got an offer from the school before he graduated, thanks to the nice words the teacher he worked with last semester gave him. He couldn’t reject such an opportunity but at the same time, he wishes he did. Teaching at this place is dangerous.

 

Sungyeol rushes into Alli’s classroom at lunch, breathless from the sprint. “What’s wrong?” Alli perches her chin on her hand, staring at Sungyeol.

 

“There’s a new music teacher next year, Myungsoo saw him with the principal.” Sungyeol says between huffs and puffs of air.

 

“Oh right, Mrs. Byun is on maternity leave next week.” Alli remembers and Sungyeol nods.

 

“I heard he’s fresh out ofteacher’s college and apparently well-liked, the female students have a good impression of him.” Sungyeol arches his eyebrow and Alli pushes his face away.

 

“Dude, he’s a teacher.” Alli replies and Sungyeol rolls his eyes.

 

“You can’t deny that he’s handsome, or so the female portion of the student body says.” Sungyeol says defensively and looks past her shoulder. “Look! There he is.”

 

Alli turns and sees Dongwoo walking down the hallway, nodding every now and then. Their eyes meet and Dongwoo looks away casually. Something pinches her heart but at the same time, everything falls back in place. His avoidance, his silence, they were all because he's a teacher and a teacher at her high school. It all made sense.

 

 

 

“Sungyeol and Allison, stop chatting or I’ll separate you two,” Dongwoo says, his hand still writing notes on the board.

 

“But Dongwoo,” Allison whines, “He –”

 

“No buts,” Dongwoo interjects. He can tell she’s frowning, her nose wrinkled in that exact manner ten years ago.

 

He turns back to the class and Allison quickly slips her phone back into her pocket. He dismisses it and quickly goes back to the lesson.

 

 

 

Despite two months into the school year, Dongwoo’s still terrified by the school finding out about his close friendship with Alli. So he decided to move out and live with Sunggyu, to be ‘closer’ to his school and to avoid going home and eating dinner with the Shim’s. It’s cruel to his parents but until he has enough experience to switch schools, this will have to do.

 

“Dongwoo?”

 

Dongwoo closes his eyes for a bit. “I told you that we can’t meet separately during school hours, Alli.”

 

“Oh come on, for the sake of distancing yourself, you started calling me, “Allison,”” she makes air quotes, “A little visit after school won’t hurt.”

 

Dongwoo’s lips are still frowning, contemplating.

 

She needs to know how serious this is; how scary the world is.

 

Alli never understood what happened to Dongwoo. After Christmas two years ago, the phone conversations lessened; he said he was either tired or had to finish homework, ending the calls impetuously. She would stare at the wall amply with the phone still cradle between her shoulder and ear, trying to figure out what she said that made him hang up. He stopped hanging out with her like before, saying she had other friends and that he was busy. Busy busy, he’s always busy.

 

She was excited when she found out that Dongwoo’s teaching at her school, but he didn’t seem to be excited and put more focus on stressing the importance of keeping their past a secret. She understood why but it seemed like he wasn’t excited at all, and was even frustrated.

 

“Fine, if you care about your job then how about I spread my homework out so it looks like you’re helping me?”

 

“Deal,” Dongwoo replies, “Sorry for being such an  lately—”

 

“Lately? You’ve been like this for the past year,” she frowns.

 

“I know, I know,” he leans back on his seat, “Thanks for putting up with me.”

 

 

 

Alli’s walking home from school when she hears a car honking behind her. She turns to see Dongwoo in the car, rolling down the window. “Hop in.” He ushers and she doesn’t hesitate. She stares at the interior of the car and latest sound system, everything about it screamed Dongwoo.

 

“Nice car, when did you get it?” Alli says, her fingertips grazing the door trim.

 

“Yesterday, the buses here are awful and I’m traveling a lot more often.” Dongwoo keeps his eyes on the road and outlines of his muscles are seen through the layers of cotton. It’s probably because Alli will always remember him as the lanky and clumsy sixteen-year-old that she doesn’t notice his broad shoulders, firm chest and beautiful smile. They’re a complimenting combination that brings out his best.

 

“Oh, am I your first passenger then?”

 

Dongwoo nods. “Why aren’t you taking the bus home?”

 

“It took too long and it’s a Friday, so I have the time.” Alli shrugs.

 

“I can’t drive you home directly from school but if you want, I can pick you up a few blocks from school.” Dongwoo offers, and Alli smiles, happy.

 

“Thanks, I’d appreciate that.” Alli pauses for a bit to rethink her words. “Appreciate.” When did they get so formal with each other?

 

 

 

When they’re on their lane and Dongwoo stops in front of her house, he reconsiders eating dinner with his family or not. 

 

“Your mother misses you a lot.” Alli says, reading his thoughts.

 

“I know,” Dongwoo smiles, “I’m a bad son.”

 

“You’re not,” Alli rejoins.

 

“I guess I’ll be eating dinner with our families then, better than my instant food at home.” Dongwoo says, and remembers to make a mental note to tell Sunggyu – though, maybe he doesn’t have to. Sunggyu’s been getting intimate with a girl from his workplace and he can’t shut up about her.

 

“She’ll be happy.” Alli tries to unbuckle her seat belt but it doesn’t budge. “Hey, your seatbelt’s stuck.”

 

“Really?” Dongwoo leans over and sees that it’s stuck. “I see what’s wrong. Stay still, okay.” He orders, not looking up to see her red ears and bright blush dancing on her cheeks. His body is in front of hers, almost pressed against hers and every motion he makes, she can feel it. They’re close, extremely close. She looks away and tries to distract herself to ease her jumping heart.

 

When Dongwoo fixes the seatbelt, he pulls back and notices their close intimacy. His hormones are out of control and it eventually takes over because he starts leaning in. His heart is beating crazily, his conscience is telling him off and he just knows that he wants it. He really wants to kiss her. Alli doesn’t flinch but closes her eyes, willing to let him do anything he wants.

 

A jingle is heard and Dongwoo snaps out of it, jumping back. “Umm, I fixed the seatbelt.” Dongwoo mutters, sitting back on his own seat. Alli nods, getting out the car quickly but noticesDongwoo, making no move to get out.

 

“You’re not coming?” She asks, and he shakes his head.

 

“No, I forgot that I  need to make a test.” Dongwoo says, “Remember to study for the test.” He reminds her and she nods.  Back to being teacher and student.

 

 

 

She shouldn’t be surprise when Dongwoo starts ignoring her at school. Not even a glance, a recognition. She’s too hurt so she starts skipping his class. There are frequent text messages from Sungyeol, updating her on what’s going on in class, when she’s on the rooftop, staring at the clouds.

 

 

 

This could be the last mistake
That I would ever wanna do
All I ever do is give

 

 

Sunggyu travels a lot more often now, signing contracts for his company. He gets promoted quickly and other companies are offering him high positions. Dongwoo watches Sunggyu at home after his long flights. “You look dead.”

 

“I am,” Sunggyu yawns. “They’re giving me a day off tomorrow.” He loosens his tie and throws it across the couch. After they both graduated, they agreed to rent the same apartment. Dongwoo thinks he’s stuck with Sunggyu as his flat-mate forever but he’s not complaining and Sunggyu isn’t either.

 

“You can sleep in now.” Dongwoo remarks, and Sunggyu nods, closing his eyes.

 

“How’s teaching coming along? I don’t understand how you have the patience for those brats.” Sunggyu asks, rubbing his temples, dreading his own problems.

 

“Good, they’re not hard to handle.”

 

“How’s Alli? She’s in your class right?” Sunggyu peeks through one eye to see Dongwoo dropping his pencil, then sighing.

 

“Well, she’s skipping my classes now. I think I know why but I can’t approach her about it.”

 

Sunggyu represses a chuckle. “Everything hates you. Getting an offer from her school, having her in your class. It’s like everything’s been set up.”

 

“It’s tragic, isn’t it?”

 

“Ironic actually.” Sunggyu says and Dongwoo breaks into a small smile. Sunggyu’s probably the only one to bring a smile to his face, despite saying the most depressing thing.

 

“Well, as a teacher, you have to talk to her. Skipping isn’t good.”

 

“I will tomorrow. My mom’s dragging me back to the house.” Dongwoo laughs, remembering the phone call with her, an hour before.

 

“Awe, that’s heartwarming.” He mocks and Dongwoo glares at him.

 

 

 

Lunch isn’t as quiet as he would like. His parents are curious about his job and ask about Alli. For some reason, they don’t seem too worried that he’s her teacher. It’s as if he’s the only one paranoid. 

 

“I like the school, the colleges are really nice and the couches in the staffroom are wonderful.” Dongwoo replies and his parents are relieved that their son has finally settled down. Dongwoo could beg to differ.

 

 

 

When lunch is done, Dongwoo’s back on the roof. He almost misses this, just lazing around and watching people as they carry on with their lives. It’s interesting how they roam about so naturally without a care or hesitation to rethink.

 

Alli comes back from her friend’s house and finds Dongwoo on the roof. She ignores him and stalks off to her house. Dongwoo sees her but decides to not call out to her. In this neighbourhood, everything is heard. He doesn’t want people to know that he’s reaching out to her. It’s weird.

 

Instead, he waits until she’s in her kitchen and texts her to look out her window. She receives it and almost ignores it but decides against it. She wants to see him, as much as she’s avoiding him. When she looks out, he’s already waiting for her. “What?” She yells and Dongwoo raises his brow.

 

“I should be asking you that question! You’ve been skipping my classes. You don’t want your marks to drop.”

 

“Dongwoo, can’t you drop the teacher act? You’re supposed to be my best friend right now.” She snaps and she looks up, eyes apologetic. She didn’t mean to come off so curt but she does nothing to take it back.

 

“That’s who I am though; I’m your teacher and your best friend.” Dongwoo says with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. He wonders if he can be both.

 

“You don’t act like my best friend at school, it’s like you don’t know me.” Alli continues to rant, her anger bubbling and her fists shaking. “It hurts you know.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry but I can’t be your best friend at school. I don’t want people to know our relationship.” Dongwoo raises his voice and Alli’s quivering now. Dongwoo has never raised his voice before, especially not at Alli, but he’s frustrated. He doesn’t know what to do, how to make things fall back to perfection – the perfection he had before he left for college, the gift of ignorance and blithe.

 

“Then you’re saying it’s okay to ignore me and talk to me whenever you want?” Alli challenges and Dongwoo almost wants to say no but it’s right if he says yes because it’s true. He comes, becomes friendly with her, and then leaves and ignores her when it’s risky for him. He’s the one that’s running away while Alli’s been waiting for him to realize that he doesn’t need to run.

 

Dongwoo stands there, stun to silence. Alli finds her answer and decides that it’s not worth waiting for anymore. He’s going to run away and the distance is going to increase day by day. In the end, it’s only hurting her. “Okay, then I understand.” Alli blurts out and turns around to leave.

 

Out of impulse, Dongwoo reaches out for her hand and holds her back. “Wait. I didn’t mean it like that. I want to be your best friend, just like the old times but it’s difficult. I –”

 

“It’s not that difficult, Dongwoo.” She pulls her hand out of his grasp and retires to her room. She makes sure to slam her door loud enough for him to hear.

 

 

 

Sunggyu is worried when he gets a call from Dongwoo. “Right now?” Sunggyu asks, jumping from the couch.

 

“Yeah,” he slurs, “It’s been a while since we’ve went out for a drink.” There’s loud music and the static on the line is distorting his voice. It’s hiding his emotions and Sunggyu hates that.

 

“Sure, give me the place.”

 

 

Sunggyu has never seen Dongwoo so poignant in his life. The man can’t hold his liquor and gets knocked out immediately, with a nasty hangover the next morning. He only drinks if he’s really disheartened. Right now, he looks miserable.

 

“What happened, Idiot?” Sunggyu kicks his leg, crossing his arms. He wants to be angry at his best friend, he really wants to but he can’t especially since he's going to be the one hauling him back. 

 

“I don’t know what to do. Alli’s mad and I understand why. I want to be there for her but I can’t. I’m her teacher for heaven’s sake!” He slams the glass down after downing it, and Sunggyu flinches by his hasty actions. He sits down and orders a glass.

 

“You like her though.” Sunggyu doesn’t care if he knows it or not, he wants Dongwoo to know. 

 

“Yes, I do. I’m a e; I deserve to be in jail.” He slumps down and buries his face in his hands.

                                     

“You’re over-exaggerating.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“You’re not. Six years isn’t a lot. Give it some time and people will understand.”

 

Unfortunately, Sunggyu has to leave an hour later after a complaint from one of his clients. Sunggyu considers dumping Dongwoo at home and leaving. The client wants him to settle the problem by noon tomorrow but Dongwoo’s incredibly drunk and doesn’t know his left from right.

 

“Go first, you’ll be late.” Dongwoo ushers, and Sunggyu sends him a worried glance.

 

“No, go home with me first.”

 

“I want to stay for a bit longer,” Dongwoo comments stubbornly. Sunggyu tries to get him to stand but he refuses, staying in place. Even in his drunk state, Sunggyu doesn’t have the strength to drag a reluctant Dongwoo back. So Sunggyu’s forced to ask the bartender to keep an eye on him and Sunggyu continues to glare at Dongwoo, even when he leaves. Sunggyu thinks he needs a new best friend who will listen to him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dongwoo wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache. His body feels heavy and everything spins in every direction, exploding in splashes of blurred colors. He doesn’t remember what happened last night, only the smell of sweet perfume, soft hair and hot touches. He cringes as he realized what he did and regrets it immediately. Alcohol does this, he knows this but he still falls for its trap.

 

There’s a fervent annoying ‘ding’ as someone’s pushing on his doorbell. He throws on some clothes and heads outside, almost tripping down the stairs. He doesn’t think when he opens the door and almost receives a shock when he sees Alli standing outside his door. “What are you –”

 

“We need to talk, Dongwoo.” She sounds serious and he opens his mouth to reject her because this time, he has a valid reason. He’s dizzy as hell and he can’t even formulate proper ways to explain his intricate feelings.

 

“Did you drink?”

 

Dongwoo nods, “Can we talk another day?”

 

“You’re always like this. You continue to run away from things, you’re scared.” Alli suddenly goes off on him and he cringes, resisting the urge to yell back. He doesn’t want to hurt her even more than he already has.

 

“Alli, I’m going to go crazy here. Can we please talk about it later?” Dongwoo releases a bit of his irritation and this makes Alli livid. She’s trying all that she can to save it. She’s been waiting and waiting, only to be left with constant disappointment, but she doesn’t care. She just wants him to stay here and be with her.

 

 

“We can’t, Dongwoo. You’re not being fair. You always do things that make me really happy, and then you ignore me and leave,” Alli’s trembling now, well on the verge of tears.

 

“You don’t understand Alli, I –”

 

“I love you, I understand that. I know you do too, just –”

 

“Stop it.” She’s trying to drill it into his brain, so the words will cling to the walls of his mind and he’ll see them every time he closes his eyes. It’s unfair but he hasn’t been playing fair either. “Alli, we’ve been best friends since forever. Now you’re my student, I’m your teacher. We can’t –”

 

“You keep saying 'can’t.' It’s not a ‘can’t’ but a ‘shouldn’t.’” She angrily retorts, jaws clench and hands curl into fists.

 

“I –”

 

“What excuse do you have now –” She stops midsentence and her eyes widen in shock and then hurt explodes, flooding her eyes. Dongwoo flinches when he hears noises in the back and whips his head back to lay his eyes on a strange – a woman wearing a black cocktail dress and he faintly remembers his hand grazing over the same material last night. It was soft but nowhere as soft as her skin and her delicate curves – he remembers his fingers dancing over them and the touch brings flames to his cheeks. That’s when he snaps back to reality to stare at the woman in horror. Panic rises. Why are you still here? His eyes are yelling at her. She stares back, confused, and then quickly retreats to the kitchen walls.

 

He looks back at Alli, who’s biting her bottom lip which are quivering and her eyes are glistening from the years of throbbing heartaches and upsetting rejections. Dongwoo opens his mouth to explain but Alli beats him to it.

 

“I see that you’re busy,” she turns around to leave but he swears he heard her mutter a low goodbye.

 

Dongwoo’s hand reaches out to stop her but he stops and retracts it. This is what he wanted, wasn’t it? For her to leave so things wouldn’t be so complicated? So he could live his happy life as a teacher without cowering in fear?

 

Dongwoo turns around to face the woman and she faintly smiles. “Girlfriend?”

 

Dongwoo shakes his head, “I don’t know what she is to me.”

 

“Well, she seems hurt and you look...well, in pain.” She shrugs, “It looks like you don’t want her to go.” He doesn’t remember her voice from the previous night because of the alcohol haze but now, he hears it. Her voice flows like a river, smooth and coherent. You can hear every emotion in it. A mature woman with enough experience to top his. This is the type of people he should wake up to. 

 

“It doesn’t really matter. I can’t love her.” Dongwoo replies.

 

“But what’s love without a risk?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dongwoo soon learns that Alli came to his house that day because she was accepted at a university program overseas. They’re offering her a summer trip so she can see the campus, see what the programs are like and see a slight glimpse of what her life would be like.

 

She always loves to travel and loves to learn new things, so this is a golden opportunity for her. The big catch is that, to attend the summer trip she has to leave two months ahead of time. She  wouldn’t have to worry about exams and finals; her current school (the one Dongwoo teaches at) will arrange it for her to do them online. With technology, almost anything is possible.

 

She looked ecstatic but his parents quote from her parents that she didn’t look as happy as they thought. Dongwoo knows why. She doesn’t want to leave him. She actually thought of refusing this program just so she’ll be with him. He hates himself even more. How could she even think of letting go of this program just for him?

 

Despite the huge misunderstanding this morning, he finds himself knocking on her front door. Her father welcomes him with big, open arms and doesn’t hesitate to ask him about his life as an adult. Dongwoo replies awkwardly and climbs the steps to her room. He knocks on her door and he hears sounds. He takes it as a sign for him to come in. He enters her room and finds her lying flat on her stomach, reading a book.

 

“Alli?”

 

“Yes.” Alli looks up and her glare stops his train of thoughts.

 

“I heard that you got accepted to a university overseas.” Dongwoo says, sitting on the edge of her bed. Alli closes her book and rolls onto her back, a lost look in her eyes.

 

“So what if I did?”

 

“That’s amazing, Silly.” Dongwoo laughs. He wants to ruffle her hair but he doesn’t think he can. It’s like he’ll burn if he touches her.

 

“Remember three years ago when you told me that you didn’t want to grow up and I did?” Alli asks and Dongwoo remembers. Three years ago was a stressful time; choosing careers, getting good grades and the problems afterward gave him headaches.

 

“Yeah, I remember.”

 

“Well, I don’t want to grow up anymore. I want time to stop.” Alli covers her eyes and he looks away to give her privacy but hears her sobs. He closes his eyes to assuage the tears threatening to spill in his heart. It hurts him to see her like this.

 

“I miss you Dongwoo. I missed you so much when you left for college. I hated it when you brought Sunggyu, your supposed best friend back. I was so happy when you became my teacher. I could see you again but all you did was ignore me.” Alli says between muffled sobs. Dongwoo looks down at the carpeted floor and the sudden guilt pounding at his heart is too unbearable for him to handle. He might collapse.

 

Being the best friend he is right now, he pulls her up to hug her tightly. She doesn’t vacillate to wrap her arms around him, tightening the embrace. “I don’t want to fight with you Dongwoo. I don’t want to leave you either.”

 

He nods every now and then, combing his fingers through her now black hair. “You have to go though. That university program is amazing and it’s what you’ve always wanted to do. I don’t want you to give it up for me because as your best friend, I want you to do well.”

 

Alli looks at him in the eyes, trying to find any fault in his words. It’s his subtle way of soothing her and rejecting her. Telling her to forget that she ever loved him; to forget that he was anything more than her best friend because right now, reality called for that. She needs to be his student at school and he needs to be her best friend at university. 

 

She nods in understanding. “Best friends forever then?” She holds out her pinky and he locks it with his.

 

“Promise.”

 

 

 

A few months past and they’re at the airport, her flight in mere minutes. Her parents are trying to hold back the tears of their daughter venturing into the road of adultery alone and Dongwoo’s parents awkwardly stand to the side, reminiscing the time when it was Dongwoo who was leaving. They leave the two best friends alone to chat. “Don’t miss me too much over there, okay?” Dongwoo remarks and she chuckles, but it sounds sad.

 

“I’ll try not to. Don’t miss me too much either, okay?” Alli smirks.

 

“I probably will,” Dongwoo shrugs and they stand, staring at space (that’s not each other) for the longest time before Dongwoo sees their parents coming back.

 

“Do well overseas; I know you’re capable of many things.”

 

“Thanks. I know I’ll do well because I have you beside me.” Alli leans in and pulls him in for a squeeze. Dongwoo hugs back until their parents come back, freaking out about any forgotten items.

 

The drive back home, Dongwoo sees an airplane depart and Dongwoo wonders if it’s hers. He wonders if she’s looking outside the window, if she’s wondering if one of the cars belongs to Dongwoo’s and if she’s watching him like how he’s watching her.

 

 

 

One year passed and Alli’s far too busy to reply and so is Dongwoo. One postcard is sent and received from both of them. The second one’s never seen because Dongwoo fell asleep when he wrote his and Alli spilled water on hers. They’re too busy to mail their postcards.

 

Before their busy schedules, Sunggyu reveals that he’s dating an accountant who works in the same company. Dongwoo couldn’t help but tease his best friend and enjoy his anxious face and peppered cheeks.  He wishes the best for Sunggyu from the bottom of his heart.

 

Apparently, his wish came true as Sunggyu announces that he’s engaged the following year. Grin so big, his eyes unseen.

 

“I’m happy for you.” Dongwoo says, patting him on the back.

 

“Thanks, it’s nerve-wrecking you know? Getting married.” Sunggyu stutters over his own happiness and Dongwoo chuckles.

 

“It’s a big step but you’ll be fine.”

 

“I invited Alli to the wedding.” Sunggyu tries to sneak in the remark but as tired as Dongwoo is, he still reacts to her name.

 

“What? You barely know her!”

 

“Not really. When you were drunk on New Year’s, we talked a lot actually. Even until now.” Sunggyu corrects him and Dongwoo’s jaws drop at the newfound information. Did Alli do it on purpose so when Dongwoo found it, it’d be a bigger surprise, it’d have a bigger effect?

 

“Oh okay.”

 

“Dude, you’ve got to face your feelings some day.”

 

“I know but I feel like two years isn’t enough.” Dongwoo says, falling back into the couch. For the past two years, it was nice teaching without worrying about losing his job. At the same time, it was empty not having her here. She was such a big part of his life that when she left, she took a part of it with her from her shimming eyes to chortles of laughter. He remembers missing her dearly and calling her immediately the next day (too bad it wasn’t a continuous thing).

 

“You want forever then?” Sunggyu jokingly replies and Dongwoo gives him a small push.

 

“Shut up!”

 

 

 

On the day of the wedding, Dongwoo has the wind knocked out of him when he sees Alli after two years. She’s wearing an indigo dress that swept the floor, her black hair in perfect curls, held back by bobby pins. She smiles and he feels a ball of warmth drop in his heart. He does the mental calculation and realizes that she’s twenty and he’s twenty-six. Six years isn’t a lot now, is it?

 

Alli congratulates Sunggyu with a little hug and Sunggyu’s grinning from ear to ear with his soon-to-be-wife beside him. When Sunggyu seals his bachelor life with a kiss, everyone’s clapping and rose petals are thrown in the air. It’s like a fairytale with the perfect ending of promise of eternal happiness. 

 

Dongwoo takes the chance to slip beside her, tap her on the shoulder. Her heart skips a beat at the sight of his goofy grin when she looks up to see him. 

 

“It’s been a long time but I hope it wasn’t a long wait.” Hand extended and this time, he’ll be the one waiting for her. He’ll wait and wait, even if she doesn’t stop running. He’ll wait until she decides to turn back and see the slight figment of him.

 

Alli breaks into a smile that lights up her face and threads her fingers through his, holding his hand as if she had the world. “It was worth the wait.” 

 

 

A/N: This fanfic is dedicated to one of my best friends, Alli. It's her birthday today! :)  Gosh, this took me forever to write ;w; A whole four months and I don't even know why. It was difficult in the sense of trying to visualize everything - Dongwoo being at such an age, his profression and since this oc is supposed to be one of my friends, I was restricted in a way. She couldn't act too out of character or else. I think my Sunggyu biased side took over as he appeared much more than I intially planned. In the end, this fanfic is written and delivered on time. Again, have a blast today, Alli! Better like this, I pulled my hair so many times writing this.