Pride

He knew exactly what he was. Contrary to popular belief, he was not ignorant, he was not in denial. He knew it and he accepted it. But, to his detriment, he could not, as he stresses, because saying that he would not would lead to his downfall.

He knew why he was like what he was. Or at least he thought he knew. He knew all the psychology behind it; he didn’t need anyone to explain it to him. Hell, they could stick their advice and their meddling up their asses, because he was not about to give in and take any of it.

Maybe the word is stubborn.

Maybe he didn’t care. Because when Luhan went to town with his group of friends, he couldn’t have cared less. After all, he had only spoken to the man once, and even then, it was for a few minutes. Why should he care? Why should he allow himself to rage inside because his so-called “friends” didn’t invite him? And why should he even feel anything for that man, with whom he only spoke once?

Maybe he didn’t care. And maybe he could fool the world, for it would upset him if they knew the truth.

Envy

Luhan was out again. He should have known that Luhan was, always had been and always will be a social butterfly. It shouldn’t have bothered him.

But it did.

He knew exactly what it was. He knew why. He didn’t need someone to tell him what he already knew. But damn, it still hurt so much. Even preparing for the worst couldn’t stop the onslaught of pain.

Luhan was out with Kai again. It was the third time in a row, and frankly, it made his blood boil. He was convinced that unless some bad luck had befallen either of them, his veins would pop. Now, of course it made sense. Luhan and Kai were both social butterflies, it made definite sense that they would see each other, while he, the shy awkward one would be left out. He already knew that. So of course, it wasn’t supposed to hurt.

But it did.

Gluttony

And so he went to the supermarket and bought eight tubs of ice cream. They were the big, four litre variety one would buy to save money. Eating all of them would pose no problem. It made no threat to his figure, anyway.

Lust

Luhan was beautiful. And that was when all his problems started.

Greed

He disliked sharing. No, he HATED it. He absolutely despised it. Sharing meant being vulnerable. Sharing meant losing everything. He could not bear to have all that he worked for, the knowledge he amassed, the few friends he possessed, to go effortlessly to someone else. He would then have nothing.

So he had hoped that Luhan would stay. He knew that he was not the friendliest of people, or the most intelligent of academics, or the most beautiful of humans, and frankly, he didn’t have anything worth staying for, but he had hoped anyway. He had already lost intelligence to Baekhyun, and beauty was never his to begin with. He didn’t need to lose Luhan.

Because then, he would be nothing.

Wrath

It was unbecoming for him to wait for Luhan. He had enough. Luhan was going out with Kai and his friends yet again, and frankly, it pissed him off. He was never invited, and when he was, he always had to witness Kai hanging off him, like a diseased limb.

Why did it have to be Kai? Kai was so clingy and stupid and annoying and he couldn’t even be without company for one minute! Kai couldn’t even study by himself, always leeching off the knowledge and hospitality of others. And did any of them ever get the credit for it? No! Just because Kai was tall and good-looking gave Luhan no reason to like him!

It was unbecoming of him; he was starting to lose it. But right now, he just hated Kai very, VERY much.

Sloth

“Sehun-ah, let’s go out somewhere.”

He looked up from the fiction he was writing. “Where?”

Luhan shrugged. “Anywhere is fine. Let’s also invite Kai and the others.”

“Huh.” He looked down again, busying himself with his writing. “I’m not in the mood.”

Luhan pouted, grabbing him by the shoulders. “But Sehun! We hardly ever spend time together anymore!”

He refused to look at him. “If you wanted us to spend time together, then why did you invite Kai?”

“Because he’s our friend!”

He rolled his eyes, keeping his voice in a steady monotone. “Well then, you two have fun. I’m too lazy to go.”

“But Sehun!” Luhan pleaded.

“I don’t care.” He kept his head down. “You’re always going places with him anyway; it doesn’t matter if I come along or not. It’s been like this for so long that I’ve lost any will to do anything with you.”

Luhan gasped. “Y-you… you don’t mean that!”

He hardened his grip on the pencil. “Yes, I do. All my efforts are wasted on you. I’m not bothered trying anymore.”

He tried his best to avoid the tears running down his face, knowing very well that his friend was also crying. “Sehun-ah… if you had bothered to read the clues, you would’ve known that I love you.”

“…”

“But I guess my love was wasted on a lazy person like you.” Luhan wiped away his tears, slipping on his jacket.

Sehun did not dare look up.

Grabbing his keys, Luhan walked calmly out the door. “And you know what, maybe you didn’t care.”

But he did care. He wanted to tell him that he wasn’t lazy, just insecure. That he hated Kai, but only because he was jealous. That he wanted to become the man Kai was, but did not have the courage to. That he had gone through hell over and over because he didn’t know what to do. That his pride wouldn’t let him do it. He wanted to tell him so badly, just what sort of man he was, that if he knew, it would’ve been different. But how could he tell him when he couldn’t even tell himself?

When the door slammed behind him, he let out a dejected sigh. “Oh Luhan… if only you could see the colours of my heart, you would know that I love you too.”

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Author's notes: Yay, it's finally uploaded! I hope it didn't disappoint you guys too much. Thank you for reading! :)