Story Title : When Accidents Happen 

Author : KissMe_Angel 97

Reviewer : crajee_

Title [ 3 / 5 ]

The title is alright. It’s not interesting and it doesn’t capture my attention. It’s basically neutral.  

Foreward & Description [ 10 / 15 ]

Try not to use too many colors and switch around so much. Also, it should be [dwelling] instead of [welling] while [looses] is spelled [loses].

Graphics / Trailer [ 3 / 5 ]

Your poster is slightly blurry. Even though it’s supposed to be an angst poster, it’s way too blurry for someone to look at. Oh, and your poster should have ‘Accidents’ instead of ‘Accident’. 

Plot + Originality [ 12 / 20 ]

At first, I thought it would be cliché  and sadly, I’m right. This story is the typical amnesia story where the girlfriend almost dies but she wakes up and for some strange reason, she remembers everybody but Luhan (as her best friend) when in actuality, he’s her boyfriend. And then she falls for the leader, like, sorry but c’mon, Kris is Exo M’s leader, he wouldn’t just snatch a member’s girlfriend away. 

Grammar & Spelling [ 18 / 20 ]

I actually didn’t see that much grammar mistakes except for the first sentence of the whole story. It should have been [Exo M exited the stage, loud applause following them as they finished the show.]  

Characterization [ 12 / 15 ]

Xiao Yang – She’s the typical nice girl who’s oblivious to everything. I’m sorry but I hate girls like this – this won’t affect your score, by the way – and it made me cringe whenever I saw her come out. Honestly, it took her such a long time to realize she loved Luhan and all of a sudden, she realizes that they used to love each other. Also, from what I’ve read in the story, it seems like that she’s been ignoring Luhan so why would she chase him into the bathroom all of a sudden?

Kris – He’s the typical bad guy but what bugged me a lot was that he just takes away Luhan’s girlfriend. Like, I don’t care how much you loved the girl, you’re not going to take a girl away from a band member. They’ve trained together and the fact that he can just do that just doesn’t make sense, especially without regret.

Luhan – I don’t think he was in love with her at all. He didn’t’ fight for her or did he tell her. Six months, I’m pretty sure there were plenty of chances to tell your ex girlfriend and convince her that you guys used to date.  

Stylization + Enjoyment [ 11 / 15 ]

I ING HATE KRIS. Okay, not hate but still. He’s a poop eater. But other than that, the story in itself was quite enjoyable. The story had me skimming a few parts but other than that, it kept me reading. 

Ending / Resolution [ 3 / 5 ]

The ending, I felt, was rushed. Again, she suddenly remembers that she used to date Luhan in the bathroom. Like, honestly, from what I read in the story, it felt like she was ignoring Luhan and all of a sudden, she chases him into the bathroom.

Total Score [ 72 / 100 ]