Annyong!
A melancholy thought rises in my mind, Just one more day… One more day.
Even living one more day is enough for me. Every day is precious; a coruscating treasure that I hug close to my heart.

Luckily for me, today is a beautiful day. The sky is a transparent shade of crystal blue that dances with clarity. And the fresh air is like needed renewal to my system.

No rain today! Oh how I detest the uncomforting feeling of a rainy day and the bitter encaging thoughts my soul left with. The memories of being trapped in my own stuffy room in the midst of a grey, sad felt day, just makes me shiver.  

I don’t have much time left. That is before my blood cancer reaches its last period.
My doctor said I would die around the end of March. It’s a horrible thought – I will die before summer. Never again will I see the blue washed shores and sunny days that I so dearly adored. The thought makes me want to cry.

My lifetime won’t last so long that I have to enjoy this last time of my life. Sometimes, I feel so regrettable that I didn’t respect the time. I wasted too much time doing meaningless stuff; and now, when the death is so close to me, I realize that I need time. Even a day, to me, is so valuable.

I have just said goodbye to my cherished boyfriend, Kim Myungsoo.

The sound of his voice still haunts me and the pain of loss makes me want to cry; but I didn’t. After all, I have no right to cling onto him any longer. I cannot resist the fact that Death Angel is approaching closer and closer like a shifting shadow that waits in the dark.

Even I can’t imagine that I love Myungsoo this much. We have had so many unforgettable memories that I swear I will keep in my heart until I close my eyes forever. The deeper love I fall with him, the guiltier I’m feeling. I have no choice but to let out of his hand. I cannot be Myungsoo’s liability which keeps stalking and hurting him. He has to find happiness without me ; move on and forget my existence. He can’t love me, a girl who is to take the steps to another world.

Sometimes, I wish that Myungsoo will fall for my best friend, Lee Jieun, a gentle hearted girl. A few weeks back, I saw a glimpse of her diary and discovered she also loves Myungsoo dearly. To think of the hardships she must have gone through all these years, the aching pain of a one-sided love, hurts my hurt as well. I think my death will be much lighter if I can see them being an official couple before I die.

So my plan for today is… to leave Seoul for the empty country side far, far, far away from my house where nobody can find me.
That’s the only way which can make Myungsoo stop looking for me. He still doesn’t know about my illness and I love him too much, so to burden him with my own troubles would be such a macabre sin. He’s just too innocent and warm-hearted to bear this news. I found some tears in his eyes when I said that I wanted to break up with him; temporary damage at the most I hope. My Myungsoo is strong and mature; this pain will be faded away soon, at least I hope to believe.
 

My luggage is a skimpy pile of memories: a tangle of favored clothing (long tartan dresses, a T-shirt and a pair of Jeans) and the book “The Last Song” that Myungsoo gave me on my 17th birthday. Sweeties, please be ready, because we're to go away from home for some days.

So my preparations were complete: the goodbyes all said and done.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The usual steady beat of my heart, uneven.

The last trip of Bae Suji …. begins now.

* * *

    It was a long ten hours of a jarring bus ride that I was forced to clench my teeth though until I reached a small area quiet far Seoul. I can’t define exactly the name of this place. But that’s not a big problem. The air here feels really clean, which makes me just want to live here forever.

‘Annyong’
I approach 2 little twin girls who appear to be residents of this place and ask them if there is any motel to rest.

‘Motel?’ The girl with soft black braids looks at me with curious eyes.
‘What is it?’ The other girl gives me a questioning stare as well with large doe eyes.

What?! They even don’t know about motels? How strange.
‘Ah…Motel…’ My arms dance around in the air as I try to illustrate what a motel looks like. Not as easy as it sounds let me tell you.
But I realize that is useless because their faces sink into even deeper confusion. What a lost cause …
I wonder to myself, ‘Finally, what is this place?! And where will I live for tonight?! It’s almost 7PM now and no more bus would approach there. That mean I cannot reach Seoul or anywhere else.’
I sigh in wore and look around when the darkness starts to swallow the sky. I’m a bit frightened at the present, but I find some way to calm myself and thi