(DongHae)

I didn’t want to keep living without him. I wanted him to know how much I loved him since some time ago, but I knew that he would not notice me simply because he had someone else.

Hours, days, months, years thinking about a future with him, fantasizing in my dreams sound asleep, unconscious in that place I went every time I closed my eyes; I was happy with him, yes with him, with EunHyuk, my Hyukkie.

I didn’t know how things occurred, when did I fall in love with him? I don’t know, I just woke up one day missing him, needing him, remembering when his laughs seemed the most wonderful thing of the day, when we talked for hours and I looked at his eyes all the time, and the night surprised us.

And I felt like dying when she came into our lives, she stole the heart of the person I loved; she that only had a few weeks knowing us. She came like nothing and snatched him from me, and the very stupid allowed being bewitched.

I woke up one morning, it was late already. I got up lazily; I didn’t want to see them. As usual she always came to the dorms to spend all day stuck to him. I went to bathe and last longer than usual; I didn’t even notice the water as cold.

I was depressed for a few days now and everyone had noticed it. I never talked to anyone about what was happening to me, I had a lot of trash in me, like saying so many things to her that dared be called his girlfriend, and everything got worse when I saw them sitting at the table and she feeding him; he looked happy…I couldn’t bear it. I left the apartment, slamming the door; when I was about to go down the stairs I felt someone pulled my arm, it was him.

-What’s with you? You are worrying me. – He said seriously and with a worried tone. – I’m feeling like—

-Nothing. – I said sharply, I was about to cry but I breathe deeply and l let go of his grip. – Please, leave me alone for awhile. – I whispered lowering my head looking at the floor. – I need to go out.

I went straight to a bar; mine was not drinking but I needed it, I needed to get away from reality, but I knew I would get in troubles I got drunk, so I just drank a little and left.

It was 10pm; I had been out a long time, and when I arrived, thousands of questions were waiting for me from LeeTeuk. I answered as quickly as possible and entered the kitchen. She was there with him, kissing him, kissing those lips that I always wanted to taste, those lips which I always dreamed about. My blood boiled, I wanted to kill her right then and there, but I left with watery eyes and locked myself in my room. I heard several times that they knocked but I didn’t open the door. I was the stupidest person in the world for loving him as I loved him at the moment.

Many days passed and she still was with him, it wasn’t surprising since they were 3 months together already. She was still in the place I had always wanted to be. I knew she didn’t do it to annoy my life, she really loved him; more than me never, but she loved him and he, her. I should accept it at once, I had to go on with my life even though it hurt me in my soul to let him free; and even if she weren’t in our lives, he would never notice my feelings.

I was the idiot who fell in love, who always ended up crying at night, who remained silent about his feelings for fear of rejection; but quite apart from that, I was his best friend, but there was nothing left of that. I didn’t want to be with him, it hurt a lot.

I hadn’t eaten in days; I failed the steps in the choreographies; I didn’t do any activity with the guys; when people were passing they told me I looked thinner, and yes, I weighed much less, the manager scolded me because that could affect my image, etc, etc.

One day, without waiting for it, LeeTeuk took me to the doctor. I told him I didn’t have anything but he still obliged me to go. I was diagnosed with Depressive Disorder; they gave me some medicine and told LeeTeuk to be very careful because there could be thoughts of suicide.

Arriving at the apartment, our leader told them all that it was their duty to help him take care of me. Everyone got surprised at hearing the word “suicide”. EunHyuk got up quickly and went with me to the couch, and sat down next to me; automatically everybody went out from there.

-If you felt bad, you could have told me. – He told me seriously, turning his face to look at me.

-There’s nothing wrong with me. – I said looking at my hands in my lap, tears flowing out of my eyes uncontrollably. – Nothing’s wrong. – I repeated more for me than for he.

-DongHae…I want to help you. – He said cupping my cheeks between his hands, drying my tears with his thumb. – But I can’t unless you tell me what is that have you like this.

You, I thought, because it was true; it was him who had me like this. I hugged him as I had never done before, he corresponded the embrace; and when I was about to tell him all, LeeTeuk interrupted us, he had the bag of medicines that the doctor had instructed.

I talk with DongHae about our schedules and all of that. Then I went to my room and he entered behind me; I told him to leave me alone but he ignored me. He lay in the bed and back hugged me.

-I’m sorry, but my best friend is dying and I need to save him. – He said, burying his head in my back.

-I don’t understand. – I said.

-Don’t you realize that we not even talk anymore? I want you to be with me, I know you need me and I need you too. – He said starting to cry. – I don’t want anything happen to you, DongHae, so I want to know why you have this disease.

I stayed quiet for a while, hear him mourn was worse than seeing him with that girl. I turned around and hugged him back. We stayed like that until I decided to talk.

-I’m sorry Hyukkie, but even I don’t know what have me like this. – I lied to don’t say nothing; the fear came to me again. – But rest assured I’ll always be your best friend and nobody will change that.

He slept with me and although he was by my side, I knew it would just be this time.

LeeTeuk always told me to take the medicines, and although I did, they didn’t work, not if she was still appearing in my life.

I had the mod by the floor…no, worse than by the floor when she told me something that broke me in two.

-You know, DongHae; I think EunHyuk will ask me to marry him, and I would want you to consider be the godfather since you are DongHae’s best friend, and I was also thinking to ask Jessica to be the godmother as I hear there that you liked each other very much. – She told me smiling and laughing, but after I heard “he will ask me to marry him” I didn’t hear the rest; I stayed frozen, everything was spinning.

-Eehh JinHwa, not now, I don’t feel very good, later we talk okay? – I said it the more politely as possible, turning around to go down the stairs. She said goodbye from afar and turned to enter the apartment.

I fell on my knees, what would I do if my Hyukkie got married? Obviously I wanted him to be happy, but that was costing me too. I cried frantically that it might have heard even in the dorms.

I tried to get up, but everything spun. I remember falling down the stairs and hear many voices around me, I couldn’t open the eyes; I felt so heavy I couldn’t move. I heard your voice, you were crying…

In my dreams there was no time, because I always dreamed that you were beside me; not ever want to wake up, because I knew it would only be possible if I closed my eyes.

-DongHae, don’t leave me, please, wake up. – His voice sounded increasingly clear. – I need you; I need you here with me. – I felt how he brushed my hand.

The heaviness was gone. I slowly moved my hands and began to slowly open my eyes; there he was, with red, watery eyes, looking at me sighing in relief.

-Hyuk, what…what happened to me? – I asked looking around; I was in the hospital.

-You fell off the stairs; we thought you had wanted to kill yourself for your depression. – He wiped his eyes. – But an ahjussi that was walking by said that you fainted. I’ve been unconscious for one whole week! God! You’re a jerk! – He said, sobbing and hugging me very hard. – You really scared me; I thought that you would never wake up. – He pulled away and put his forehead against mine, his gaze was sad.

-But I’m with you again. – I said sad and putting my hand on his face. – I’m here.

After staying a few seconds looking at each other in the eyes, he just leaned forward and kissed me. It was like I had always dreamed of…or much better; his lips were so soft and warm. He hugged me by the neck, and I by his back, and I couldn’t help drop a few tears.

-I’m sorry. I didn’t… - I said excusing myself.

-Forgive me Hae. – He said hugging me. – But I can’t hide it anymore.

-What are you talking about? – I said in confuse.

-I love you…

I was dumbfounded for a moment, but then I reacted.

-B-but JinHwa?

-She isn’t my girlfriend anymore. – He said straightening up and turning to sob again. – She knew everything; she said she would help me to forget you. I thought it would work, but it was getting even harder when I notice you were feeling bad. I told her that it was better to break up, and she told me that it was okay, that she understood it and that I should tell you at once.

His sad face softened my heart. I always wanted to hear those words, and now that I heard them I couldn’t hold back; I started to cry too but for happiness. After all, this girl was a good person.

-You’re a jerk. – I told him, punching him lightly in the shoulder. – You know that my depression was due to you and that girl? Did you know that I was dying of jealously every time she kissed you? – I said slightly altered.

-Then you… - He said raising his sight.

-Yes, Hyukkie, I love you. – I finally told him what I had been hiding for years.

-Re-really? – He said rubbing his eyes.

-Yes, and I’m sorry if I didn’t to—

I was cut off by his mouth over mine, this time even deeper than the previous kiss.

I left the hospital several days later. We were officially a couple, we had told the guys and they had taken it very well, they even congratulated us. My depression was over, and I recovered from the blows that I gave me. I finally could be happy with the person I loved the most in the world, next to my sweet monkey.

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I really liked this story and so I wanted to share it with you all....

It's taken from here -> http://fanficstory.foroactivo.com/t2196-oneshot-eunhae-lo-siento-pero-te-amo

All credits to the author~