WARNING: Grammar errors and mentions of .

A/N: I would have posted this earlier if i hadn't been sick these last few days. Honestly, what are the chances of someone having sore eyes right after barely recovering from allergies? Hmmp. Anyway.... I am presenting to you the first part of Redemption (I'm Sorry's Sequel). BTW, I'm not sure when I'll post the next part.. I already wrote a couple of pages but I suddenly hit a writer's block.. Aish.. Anyways (..again XD) I hope you enjoy~~ 

.:|:.

“Heechul-shi, can you move closer to Hyukjae-shi?”

“Yes, yes that’s it.”

*CLICK*

“Hyukjae-shi please relax. Your posture is a bit stiff.”

*CLICK*

“Donghae-shi, please wrap your arms around Hyukjae-shi’s waist? Yes, then lean slightly closer.”

*CLICK*

“Heechul-shi smile more naturally.”

*CLICK*

“Hyukjae-shi please face Heechul-shi. Donghae-shi you can release Hyukjae-shi’s waist now. Take a step closer to Heechul then smile playfully.”

*CLICK*

“Heechul-shi lean over a bit. As if you’re whispering something to Hyukjae-shi”

*CLICK*

“Hyukjae-shi please relax your shoulders.”

*CLICK*

“Donghae-shi, stand in between them. Yes, wrap your arms on their shoulders.”

*CLICK*

“Okay. That’s a wrap everyone.”

~*~*~

Upon hearing those words Hyukjae immediately bowed towards the photographer before speeding away from the set, as if being chased by some unknown element. The action seemed to puzzle the crew, most of them had worked with Super Junior before and Hyukjae was among the nicest in the group. He’s very polite and easy to work with. Although sometimes he could be very shy, he smiles all the time.

And that’s why it is very evident to the crew that something is wrong. Hyukjae had been staring into space the whole time he was being prepared and while waiting for his turn for the photoshoot. His genuine gummy smile didn’t make an appearance the whole morning and his usually bright eyes seemed dull with the slightest hint of pain and sadness visible within its depths. The crew can’t help but worry for the kind idol.

On the other hand, the odd behavior did not surprise the other members of Super Junior. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t worry them. In fact, they had been too worried for their member that half of them couldn’t sleep at night. Especially Leeteuk. Being the leader and eldest among the group, he felt responsible for the members and treats them as his own child. So it was only natural that he felt worried for one of the most fragile member in the group.

Hyukjae’s change started three weeks ago, when the man asked him to cancel all his schedules saying that he wasn’t feeling that well and wants to stay on his bed. By the end of the day, he was able to join them for dinner but it was obvious that he wasn’t being himself yet. All throughout dinner he had been quiet and withdrawn. He answered their questions but never volunteered to speak up on his own. Also, Hyukjae had been known to be one of the members who have a big appetite but he barely finished his food. The members was puzzled and worried but they attributed it to him not feeling well and had hoped to see him in his usually bubbly self the next day.

But they were disappointed. Hyukjae had been equally silent and withdrawn the following days. He rarely smiles, the only time they see him smile is during his schedules and most of those aren’t genuine smiles, and was often staring into space. Also, the members noticed slight changes in his attitude. He was easily startled from the smallest of noises. He seemed to dislike being touched in any other way except for fan service. He stays at his room most of the time and rarely goes out with them, especially if it involves getting alcoholic drinks.

Hyukjae had never been vocal about his feelings. He’s the type to keep his worries to himself so as not to worry others as well. Usually the only ones he would tell his problems to are Junsu, Donghae or Jungsu. But that also requires long periods of pestering from the three. This time, however, no matter how much they ask him, he won’t tell them what the problem is. He would just give them a halfhearted smile and tell them that everything is fine.

All of the members watched the retreating figure with different expressions. Some with a sighs of resignation. Some with teary-eyed sadness. Some with groans of helplessness. Others with grunts of frustration. But only Heechul looked on with guilt evident in his features. However, no one paid him any attention, for they are too preoccupied with their thoughts of Hyukjae.

No one except Hangeng, his best friend.

(A/N: I think I already said this in one of my fics. This is my story and I get to decide what I do with it. I want to include all members of Super Junior because for me Super Junior is fifteen and will always be fifteen. Same as Dong Bang Shin Ki will always be five for me. Umm.. Just saying.. XD BTW, I seriously think I over done this part.. XD)

Hangeng narrowed his eyes, as he watch his best friend’s face. While everyone was worried and bothered by Hyukjae’s change, he had also noticed the subtle changes in his best friend. Oh sure he was still the one-of-a-kind straight forward and diva-ish Kim Heechul who says and does what he wants to with the fluid confidence of a wild cat going for the kill. He still smirks mischievously, as a promise of delivering more chaos in the Super Junior dorm as before. He still acts playfully, though sometimes annoyingly, in front of all the cameras as always.

But inside their shared room, a different Kim Heechul emerges.

Sometimes Hangeng walks in on a serious Kim Heechul deep in thought, brows furrowed in an uncharacteristic frown. He was so out of it that, Hangeng has to touch him to call his attention. Heechul would then whip his head around to look at Hangeng, clearly startled. And for a while Hangeng would have a short glimpse of the other’s misery, guilt and helplessness in Heechul’s dark orbs before hiding it behind a bright smile. The first time it happened, Hangeng was too stunned that he sat on the bed for sometime after Heechul left the room.

 He was quite sure Heechul’s eyes were beckoning for help.

Once, he even walked in on a crying Kim Heechul. Heechul was quick to wipe away his tears as he heard the Chinese man enter, but his red and puffy eyes were evidence enough to give him away. Nevertheless, Hangeng never said anything. For the years they have known each other, there is one important thing he knew about prideful Kim Heechul, and that is he only talks and does things when he wants to and in his own pace. The more you bug him, the more he’ll keep his silence. The only thing he could do is to wait for him to open up.

But was it the right thing to do?

All throughout his silent observation, he had also noticed something that none of the members did. The connection between the changes of both Kim Heechul and Lee Hyukjae. It wasn’t the suspicious time frame of both changes that caught his attention. It was those discreet glances the both of them shot at the other when the other wasn’t looking – Heechul’s full of guilt and longing while Hyukjae’s filled with hurt and uncertainty. It was the way Hyukjae tense up whenever the other was near. As well as the way Heechul’s confident mask slip even for a second – revealing the vulnerable man inside – in front of the other.

It was subtle. Barely even noticeable. The two had never been on the best of terms, and with the way Hyukjae is avoiding everyone, no one questioned their lack of interaction. But Hangeng is quite sure, whatever is wrong with Hyukjae, Heechul is somehow involved in it.

So as Leeteuk directed everyone to go back to their respective dressing rooms and change back into their clothes, Hangeng took Heechul’s hand preventing him from leaving the vicinity. Heechul shot him a confused glance, raising his eyebrows in a silent question but Hangeng ignore it and, instead, dragged him down a deserted corridor.

He had waited patiently enough, but he had to do something before it’s too late.

He stood in front of Heechul, his eyes narrowed in piercing intensity. Slowly, Hangeng started, “Heechul-ah, I’m not blind and neither am I stupid. I know something is wrong and whatever it is, it involves Hyukjae—”

“Hangeng I—”

“Stop. Let me finish first.” Hangeng interrupted. “I don’t know what happened or what you did – if you did anything. But I’m your best friend and I’m willing to listen. I’m not forcing you to tell me now, all I’m saying is I’m here when you’re ready to talk, okay?”

Heechul looked down to his shoes, avoiding the others gaze. He was certain that Hangeng noticed his odd behavior recently. He knew that the man will confront him sooner or later. But he wasn’t ready to talk yet.

He was afraid.

Oh, yes. Kim Heechul is afraid.

Of his best friend’s reaction. Of the sin he had committed. Of the fact that he doesn’t know how to make things right. Of the possibility of losing his one love.

Of the possibility of losing Hyukjae. Forever.

Hangeng sighed. Well, he wasn’t really expecting that Heechul would spill everything right away, but one could dream right? He smiled reassuringly and, once again, took his best friends hands and said, “Come, they are probably looking for us already.” And he proceeded to lead the older man back to the dressing room. Halfway down the corridor he heard Heechul whisper something that brought a smile to his lips.

“Thank you, Hangeng.”

.:|:.

One by one, the members left as they finish changing clothes and fixing their looks. Soon, Heechul found himself alone on the dressing room. He took his time fixing his appearance since he knew the shoot was his only schedule for the day. After packing his extra clothes and making sure he didn’t forget anything, he took his bag and walked towards the door.

Two steps away from the doorway his eyes caught a glint of something shiny on the black couch in the corner of the room. Curious, he approached to see what it was. It didn’t take long to register in his mind what the object was. Biting his lips, he picked up the sleek device in his hands. It was a white touch screen phone. It wasn’t necessary to check whose phone it was. He instantly knew who it belongs to from the black fuzzy keychain attached to it.

Hyukjae.

The last person he needs to see right now.

Behind him, the door of the dressing room opened abruptly and he heard someone hastily entering the room. He already had a feeling who it was. Nevertheless, he turned to face the person behind him. Their eyes met and locked with each other and a moment passed in silence.

Their connection broke as the other’s eyes dropped lower and stopped at Heechul’s hands whose unconsciously clutching the white touch screen phone to his chest.

“I believe that’s mine.. Hyung..” A soft and seemingly small voice reached Heechul’s ears. It sounded so vulnerable in his ears and it upsets him to think that he’s the cause behind it.

“Hyukjae..” One word, one name, but one can feel the dozens of emotions Heechul was trying to contain.

However, the younger man chose to ignore it. “Can I.. Have it back now?”

With a sigh Heechul extended his arms in front of him, offering the other the phone resting in his palm. “Here.”

Heechul didn’t miss the younger man’s hesitancy to reach out to him. Nor did he miss the other’s carefulness not to touch him as he grabbed his phone and his hastiness as he retreated his hands from him. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt, ‘cause it did, he felt like someone ripped his heart out from his chest, slowly crushing it until it crumbles to dust.

He heard Hyukjae murmur a low thanks before turning his back to him and walking away. The younger man was already gripping the door knob when he found his voice. “Tell me Hyukjae. What do I have to do to get your forgiveness? What do I have to do for you to believe me? To believe me when I say I love you. So much that it hurts.”

Without bothering to turn back, Hyukjae answered, “People say that a person’s trust is like a mirror. Once broken, it’ll never be the same again. How could I believe you, when you were the one who shattered my trust into thousands of tiny shards.”

“Hyukki—“

“I don’t hate you for what you did. You’re a human and humans are entitled to make mistakes. But.. I just can’t trust you the same way I did before. ‘Cause last time I did..” Hyukjae turned his head, meeting the older man’s eyes, “..you cornered me in the bathroom and took my ity as you ed me into the wall.” With that said, Hyukjae walked out of the dressing room, closing the door with a final click.

Heechul stared at the door, his feelings in disarray. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes until a drop spilled down his cheeks, twice, trice before falling down in a steady stream. Against his own will, memories of that fateful night bubbled up the surface of his mind, playing like a film on loop right in front of his eyes. He could hear the young man’s pleas for him to stop, pleas he did not heed. He could hear his sobs, sobs that haunts him in his sleep.

“Stop, stop, stop.. Please stop..”

Heechul was oblivious to his surroundings as he crumpled down to the floor, curling into a ball. His hands over his head as if willing the memories to go away and leave him alone. His slight frame shaking as he sobs uncontrollably, mourning for his actions.

“Please make it stop..”

(A/N: I feel like I made Heechul’s look crazy.. Sigh..)

.:|:.

The sound of footfalls echo’s down the empty corridor as Hyukjae walks away from the dressing room thinking of what he had heard after he had closed the door.

Earlier, he had slumped against the door of the dressing room after he had shut it close. He felt drained after his conversation with his hyung and he wanted to cry his eyes out but he doesn’t want to worry the other members any more. His lips were parted, breathing as deeply as he could, when he first heard it. He thought his mind was just playing tricks with his head, but after waiting for a heartbeat he heard it again.

The distinct sounds of sobbing.

His hyung is crying.

Kim Heechul is crying.

Because of him.

He knew the other was somehow hurting because of the situation, but he had never thought it would affect his hyung to the point that he’s willing to submit to tears.

Not knowing what to do, he chose to give the older man privacy and left. And now, as he is trying to put as much distance between him and the dressing room, he found himself thinking of his hyung’s words.

“Tell me Hyukjae. What do I have to do to get your forgiveness? What do I have to do for you to believe me? To believe me when I say I love you. So much that it hurts.”

Deep in his heart, Hyukjae wanted to believe his hyung’s words. He wanted to believe that the older man really loves him. That it was the alcohol that drove him what to do what he did. But it’s just so ing hard to believe someone who hurt you after you gave him your full trust and your whole heart.

Yes. His whole heart.

It’s funny to think that someone like Kim Heechul had captured his elusive heart.

Straight forward, hard headed, demanding, high maintenance, stubborn, prideful, over confident and evil Kim Heechul had capture the heart of kind hearted, caring, shy and cry baby Lee Hyukjae. Talk about opposites attract.

Kim Heechul, the man who, more often than not, is the reason for his tears had become also the reason for his smiles.

“You can’t believe him Hyukjae, you can’t. Avoiding him is for the best. You don’t want to be hurt again.” He uttered, his voice echoing the hallway, a single tear slipping from his lashes.

.:|:.

Nightfall came and dinner was served. Super Junior members were surprised that none of the members had evening schedules for the day. Hangeng, Ryeowook and Sungmin had outdone themselves in the kitchen. The members are speechless as they gape at the amount of food in front of them, the dining table is practically groaning from the weight of it.

“Why aren’t you guys eating? Is there something wrong?”

Kyuhyun raised his gaze towards the speaker, brows raised in inquiry, “Umm, nothing’s wrong Hangeng hyung. But.. seriously whose birthday is it?”

Hangeng rolled his eyes before answering the maknae, “No one’s.”

“Then what’s up with all the food?” Donghae asked, his brows scrunched up, his head tilted to the side.

Fed up, Hangeng was about to answer but Sungmin was faster, “What!? We can’t cook what we want?” Donghae flinched at Sungmin’s volume, startled by the outburst.

“What Hangeng and Sungmin hyung actually wants to say is that, it has been too long since we last dined together, and by together I meant all 15 of us, that’s why we cooked a lot of food in celebration.” Ryeowook explained calmly, showing them a gentle smile. The 12 other members of Super Junior stared at Ryeowook before looking at Sungmin and Hangeng, who are both sporting an adorable blush, before grinning, or in Hyukjae’s case smiling, at the three cooks.

“Aww. You guys are so sweet.” Leeteuk squealed, bouncing in his seat. Hangeng and Sungmin, however, were stoned in their seats, their face painted in red.

“Aish! Just eat will you?!”

“You’re cute when you’re being shy, hyung.” Siwon teased Hangeng, who in turn blushed more furiously, if possible.

“Shut up, Shi Yuan. I’m not being shy!”

“If you say so~”

“Che. This little kid.” Hangeng muttered under his breath but unfortunately the younger man heard him since the man was sitting right next to him. Siwon leaned towards the older man before whispering huskily in his ears, “I’m not a little kid anymore hyung. If you remember I am taller than you. Not to mention I’m more well endowed than you on certain aspects as you’ve already seen. Or do you still want me to prove it to you?”

Hangeng choked, as the Danhobak soup, Sungmin’s specialty, he was sipping went down the wrong pipe. Siwon patted and caressed his back as a fit of cough whacked the martial artist’s body. However, Siwon’s hand went a little too low down Hangeng’s back settling on the matial artist’s rump, squeezing it for a moment before sliding up his back once again. The action made Hangeng turn red which did not escape some members’ attention.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

“I’m fine Henry.” Hangeng answered as he finally stopped coughing. He eyed Siwon for a moment before continuing, “Something just went down the wrong pipe.”

And with that the members resumed eating their festive dinner.

(A/N: Why do I feel like this part is sort of like a filler chapter..  XD Sorry, I just had to include this, been craving for some SiHan lately. It’s been so long since I’ve read a full SiHan fic.. )

With a household that includes 15 people, Leeteuk, being the oldest and their pseudo-mom, had decided to set some house rules, and one of them is about sharing of house chores. Each member is given a specific task on a specific day with another member. They are not given permanent partners, instead they change partners depending on the scheduled chore given to a certain member. This way each member will have equal opportunity to get close with one another. That’s why, after finishing dinner Leeteuk immediately got up from his seat, check the House Chore Schedule pinned onto the kitchen wall and unceremoniously announce who are the unlucky one’s assigned to wash the dirty dishes.

And as if by some twisted fate, Hyukjae heard his name being called followed by the name of the person he had vowed to avoid just hours earlier. Although he doesn’t like it, he knew it would be unfair to ask to switch with someone else. So, determined to do the right thing, he smiled at his Leeteuk hyung, who was looking at him inquiringly as if asking if he’s fine with the schedule, and was about to answer when he heard the familiar voice of Kim Heechul spoke up.

“I can do it alone. Hyukjae hasn’t been well lately. I think he should just rest.”

His statement received various reactions from the member. Leeteuk frowned at the younger man, unsure if he heard him right. Ryeowook, Sungmin, Donghae, Henry and Zhoumi were all staring at him wide-eyed, looking at him as if he grew a second head. Kangin, Yesung, Kibum, and Kyuhyun were slacked-jaw, equally stunned like the others. Shindong merely raised an eye brow at him, still busy finishing his plate. Siwon crossed himself, muttering something in the lines of ‘ward off the evil spirit who possessed his hyung’. Hangeng, though he wasn’t entirely surprised, narrowed his eyes at his best friend’s uncharacteristic statement.

To an outsider, you might think the members are over reacting to such a simple statement. Especially when what the man said actually makes sense.

But you see, Heechul hates house chores.

He complains non-stop whenever it’s his turn to clean the dorm or wash the dishes. He, most often than not, ditch the chores altogether. That’s why the others hated being partnered with him. And that also explains the members’ reactions.

“Well.. I guess you’re right.. Umm.. Maybe we’ll skip Hyukjae for today and move on to another member..” Leeteuk said uncertainly, still frowning at Heechul before turning back to the Schedule. “Let’s see.. I guess it’s your turn Hen—“

“I’ll do it. It won’t be fair to the other members if you skip me.” Hyukjae interrupted.

“But Hyukki—“

“I’m fine now hyung.” Hyukjae’s firmly insisted.

“Doesn’t seem so.” Donghae murmured, sadly eyeing his blonde best friend. His voice was barely above whisper but everyone distinctly heard it and other members silently agreed in their minds. However, Hyukjae only glanced down in response before repeating his words once again. “I’m fine now. I’ll do it.”

Leeteuk sighed at his dongsaeng stubbornness, but he knew he can’t do anything about it. It was his decision after all. “If that’s what you really want, Hyukkie.”

“Thank you.” Hyukjae said, finally raising his gaze from the table, giving them a soft smile. The most genuine one they’ve seen so far.

One by one, the members rose from the table and left the kitchen. Soon, Hyukjae and Heechul found themselves the only ones left in the room.

Hyukjae was the first one to stand up. He started to stack the plates in neat piles, before transferring them to the counter. He was about to reach for the sponge when he heard his hyung say, “I’ll do that. You dry the dishes afterwards.”

Hyukjae stepped backwards giving Heechul space to move around the sink. He watched silently as Heechul clean the dishes with soap then rinsing them carefully. Heechul would then give the clean dishes to him to dry with a hand towel. They continued to do their task in heavy silence.

They were almost finished when Hyukjae’s hands accidentally touched Heechul’s as he was reaching for the next dish. Both of them jerked their hands away, causing the plate to fall to the floor, shattering.

“I-I’m sorry.” Hyukjae whispered before immediately kneeling down to pick up the broken pieces.

“No, Hyukjae let me do it. You’ll get wou—“ Heechul tried to stop the dancer.

“Ouch!” Hyukjae exclaimed as a shard accidentally pierced the skin of his palm. He immediately cradled his right hand with his left.

“Aish, stubborn kid.” Heechul muttered as grabbed the younger one’s shoulders and gently pulled him up. He felt Hyukjae tense up at his touch but he didn’t pull away. He set aside the remaining plates that needs to be washed and guided Hyukjae’s palms under the running water, trying to wash away the blood.

“It doesn’t seem deep, a little antiseptic, a dab of ointment and some plasters and you’re good as new.” Heechul said after a close inspection of the wound. “I’ll just get the fir—“

Heechul stopped mid-sentence after turning to Hyukjae and realize how close his face was with the other. He had unconsciously brought his face closer to Hyukjae’s hand while checking the younger man’s hands. Their eyes met and held at once.

Like the older man, Hyukjae had only realized how close the Heecul was when the other looked up from his hands. He could hear his heart thundering in his chest, as if wanting to jump off from his chest, at their proximity. His mind screamed for him to pull away but his heart is telling him otherwise. He just couldn’t move, even when he felt the older man closing the remaining distance between the two of them.

Heechul’s mind was begging his body to stop but he could feel Hyukjae’s eyes drawing him in, pulling him like a magnet does to metal. He was scared that he’ll frighten the younger man more with his actions, but he had already lost control of his body.

Their faces were only centimeters apart, their breaths mingling with one another’s, when a voice down the hallway caused them to jerk away from each other. However, Heechul didn’t release the dancer’s hands. Heechul flinched when he saw Hyukjae blink before his face slowly morph into a look of horror at what almost occurred between them. The look he saw had confirmed his worst fear, he had frightened the younger man. Again.

“Hyukjae? Heechul? I thought I heard a crash, are you guys okay?”

They were still rooted in their places when Jungsu entered followed by Hangeng, both of whom have concern written on their faces. Jungsu first saw the broken plate by Hyukjae’s and Heechul’s feet then at Hyukjae’s once-again-bleeding palm still cradled in Heechul’s hands and exclaimed “Oh my god, Hyukjae!” in a high voice that definitely caught the attention of the other members. In second’s he was already by his dongsaeng’s side inspecting the cut and unintentionally pushing Heechul away from the other.

Hangeng, however, chose to stand nearer to Heechul, observing the older man’s face in the corner of his eyes. He had, once again, noticed something Jungsu had failed to notice when they entered the room. He suspects something had just happened between the two that doesn’t involve broken plates and bleeding cuts. That is the only possible explanation why Hyukjae looked so horrified while staring at Heechul who in turn had looked very guilty and fearful, biting his bottom lip uncertainly, something he had never seen the older man do, while avoiding Hyukjae’s gaze.

“What happened?”

Three pair of eyes, Heechul had trained his gaze to the floor, turned towards the doorway. Sungmin, the one who spoke, and Kyuhyun was standing just inside the kitchen, behind them they could see the other members peering in from the hallway.

“I-i was clumsy and b-broke a plate.. I-i tried to pick it up b-but I got cut from a shard.. I-i’m so sorry.” They could see Hyukjae’s eye watering, worrying his plump lips between his white teeth. Jungsu sighed at the sight and patted his sensitive dongsaeng’s head before saying, “Hyuk, it’s just a plate don’t worry about it okay? Come on, let treat you wound. Someone get the first aid kit and bring it to the living room.”

He led the pale and quivering Hyukjae outside the kitchen, the other members moved immediately and gave way to the two. Sungmin and the other’s followed the two to the living room, still concerned for the dancer. Kyuhyun, on the other hand, opened one of the cabinets under the kitchen counter, fished out the first aid kit and left. However, he spared an unreadable glance towards Heechul and Hangeng before finally leaving the room.

Hangeng watched Heechul, who was on his own world once again, before he wordlessly took the other’s hand to guide the older man to one of the chairs around the table, making him sit down. He went to the utility cabinet and took out the broom and dust pan and proceeded to sweep the floor. When he was sure that the floor is clean and there are no stray shards anywhere, he continued washing the dishes Heechul and Hyukjae wasn’t able to finish.

After finishing all of the tasks, he looks around the once again pristine kitchen before turning to watch his silent best friend. He leaned against the kitchen counter before finally breaking his silence.

“Don’t you want to check on Hyukjae?” /I know you’re worried./

“Don’t wanna. Besides the cut wasn’t even deep.”  /I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to see me./

“Then, do you want to go to our room?” /Do you want to talk about it?/

He saw Heechul raise his head and finally look at him straight in the eye. He could practically see the gears in the older man’s head turning, thinking and deciding the answer to Hangeng’s question and its underlying meaning. After a couple of minute’s heavy silence, Heechul took a deep breath before smiling gently at him and finally saying,

“Maybe that’s a good idea.” /Maybe it’s time to tell you./