“Baekhyun, there’s a mail for you! Come get it quick!”

I heard my cousin Onew oppa called me from outside our shared house. From arranging the flowers on the vase beside the picture of my beloved deceased father, I turned around and walk through the main door to go out  finding my cousin happily eating his precious chicken with her long time girlfriend; Luna in our small gazeebo in the graden.

The moment I saw Luna unnie, I smiled at her and greeted her happily;

 “Good morning Unnie!”

She just nodded as she starts to scold my oh so hungry chicken maniac cousin, while I take the mail from the table and sat with them;

“Aish! Jinki! Could you please slow down even a bit? Your fried chicken won’t go anywhere!”

I laughed. They’ve been like this ever since. Onew-oppa just chuckled and continued eating … no, it’s called RUSHING :) and asked me while his mouth full of fried chicken;

“What is it about? Is that from auntie?”

Onew oppa asked. I read the sending address. It wasn’t from my Mommy who was residing in California ever since my father died. It was from Chanyeol! God! It was from my Park Chanyeol! At last! He remembered sending me a mail! It’s been six long years since he wrote me a very short letter. I felt my blood rush and happily squealed;

“It’s not from Mommy, oppa! It’s from Chan!”

“So, he finally found the courage to write you after long years!”

My cousin spat as if it was not interesting. Oh yeah, my long time relationship with Chanyeol was not really a big deal to my cousin. Why would it be a big one? He was totally against it! Chanyeol was my high school sweetheart despite my closest cousin’s opposition (Onew-oppa whom I treated as my real brother and father).

My mother and even his parents allowed me to have a relationship with Chanyeol so I guess his opposition is not a big deal :)

He was against Chanyeol because of several things;

1.     Chanyeol is the school’s bad .

2.     He was conceited;

3.     He was arrogant;

4.     He was the school’s resident rock star. He used to play several musical instruments. Drums and guitar is just to name a few.

            Onew –oppa was the school council president so he practically knew every academic related and even the extracurricular and the musical information about Chanyeol. Chanyeol is not a bad student. He was not also the top. He was always in the middle with my high school girl body and one of my closest cousin too; Im Yoona.

My cousin was against him because of the fact that like him, I was the top student of our class. Since Chanyeol and I were best of friends for God knows when, Onew oppa knew everything about Chanyeol and even if he knew him all along, he still hates him bad! And I don’t know why. And I don’t f8cking get why…

When we are about to be a college student, Chanyeol acquired the scholarship grant that Konkuk University offered him and live within the University vicinity while I acquired the scholarship from Seoul National University.

 Since college days started, Chanyeol and I seldom see each other. Even if we date, there’s always time pressure. It’s hard to see each other regularly. And why not? He’s practicing damn hard for the band he led in his university while I tried my best to regain my top position in the class. The only thing I have and hold was his solid promise during our seldom talk over the phone before the summer class started.

“After college, baby, I will be marrying you. You’ll wait for me right? I’m your only one right?”

“Of course. You know I love you…”

“And I love you more. I will show Onew-Hyung that you deserve me… That I deserve you…”

That‘s what he promised. And that’s what I believed. And kept on believing. I believed because I know Chanyeol. He never broke his promise but what I didn’t knew was that; I’ll forever hate him because he will never make his promise. I start to read his letter as my wide smile turned into tears;

“Baekbaby,

Baby, I’m so sorry if it took me years to write you a letter. I’m sorry if I couldn’t make my promise to you. I couldn’t marry you now. I can’t since I need to marry Yoona; (your cousin) for she’s carrying my child. I’m sorry if I kept you waiting. I’m so sorry. I fell out of love for you and eventually fall for Yoona. I’m so sorry, baby. Please forgive me….

~~~Chanyeol”

I crumpled the paper angrily and start to sob my heart out. How could they do this to me? How can Yoona betray me? How can Chanyeol cheat on me? HOW?!

The giggling couple turned to look at me as I shout.

“Ah!”

“Baek, why are you crying?”

                He came closer to me; hugged me tight and starts to caress my back. I hugged him so tight and cried so hard.

“What’s wrong?”

“Chanyeol… He’s getting married!”

                Though my cousin is exceptionally intelligent, he can be so ing dumb sometimes, so he happily asked me;

“He asked you to marry him through that letter?”

                My action made my cousin realized that’s it’s not what he’s thinking. I sobbed harder as he starts to fume in anger;

“That derp f8cking bastard! I told you right? You shouldn’t wait for him! You shouldn’t!”

“But I love him, oppa….”

“Damn with that love! Look what that love make you? Where is that bastard? I will kill him for real!”

                He shouted as he loosen the hug and wipe my tears while angrily saying;

“Stop crying, Byun Baekhyun! That moron doesn’t deserve your tears!”

I continued crying. I cupped my face and helplessly asked no one in particular.

“How can he do that to me? I’ve been faithful to him! I turned down every single person who dared to court me for him but he cheated on me! The worst thing is he’s getting married with our own cousin!”

“! I swear if I saw him, I’ll gladly kill him! I will surely kill him!”

“Jinki, keep calm----”

                Luna Unnie tried to persuade my fuming cousin but my cousin just shouted;

“You say calm, Honey? How can I? Look what that bastard did to my little Baekhyunnie! Honey, how can I keep calm if my sweet cousin is right infront of me hurting and crying her heart out?”

                I’ve never seen my cousin look this angry. He’s often bubbly. He never burst out of anger, only now. He even shouted at Luna Unnie.

I stood up and run inside the house up to my bed room. I banged the door close and start to freak out. I threw everything. I’m such an idiot! You're a ing moron, Park Chanyeol! You’re a cheater! Go to hell! Go march in hell with Yoona! You’re both cheaters! I took the picture frame containing my picture with Chanyeol and Yoona during our high school graduation and threw it across my room. As it fell on the ground; tore in to tiny pieces, I loudly shout…I take a look on the ring I am wearing; the ring Chanyeol gave me before he starts neglecting me. This ring hold a promise that made me secure. But f8ck yeah! That promise is nothing but a lie.

I start to look at it blankly. I hate you Chanyeol! I do! But I do love you too... you heart! You keep on loving the man who hurts you! The man who tear you into pieces! I buried my face on my pillow and cried myself hard to sleep.

                The next morning, I woke up with a swollen eyes; aching head along side with my aching mind, torn heart and torn life. I start to walk. My vision was blurry. I was silently wishing that what happened yesterday was just a nightmare, but when my feet stepped on the broken glass of the picture frame, the harsh reality hit me. It was all true. I started to cry again as my foot starts to bleed (alongside my heart). I don’t own Chanyeol now. Were now over; OVER… I limply walked out of my bedroom as I felt some sticky substance cling on my bare foot. The moment I start to slowly step down the stairs, I heard my sweet cousin angrily shouting his lungs out to someone;

“HUH! You still have the guts to come here after betraying Baekhyun?”

I stopped. So it was Chanyeol who’s inside the house making my cousin fume and shout early this morning?

“Hyung…”

                I heard him say as my cousin fumed again;

“Don’t Hyung me, Park! You have no right! You ing retard! Get out of this house in an instant! Get lost! Don’t you dare get close to Baekhyun ever again!”

“I just want to say sorry to---”

“Sorry? Do you think that ing word can mend my cousin’s heart? Do you think your damn sorry can change what you did to her? No! Now, get lost! Get lost while I can still stop myself from not skinning you alive!”

                I saw my cousin angrily standing infront of my boyfriend--- Nah! He’s now my ex; my past. I stepped down and heard Chanyeol say;

“Baekhyun, your foot is bleeding….”

                So as my heart, ! He was about to come near me but he was harshly stopped by Onew oppa telling him;

“Stay where you are, Park Chanyeol! Don’t you dare get near Baekhyun!!”

“But, Hyung, she---”

                Onew-oppa took his hand strongly and cut what he was about to say and angrily fumed;

“I told you not to call me Hyung! I once treated you as a real brother because Baekhyun loves you, Park Chanyeol. But the moment you hurted Baekhyun, I’m no longer a brother to you, ! You’re just a complete stranger to me and my cousin! Now, go! Get your out of here!”

“I just want to talk to Baekhyun…..”

“What for? To tear her heart over again?”

“No, I just want to explain my---”

                I was about to speak but Onew-oppa strongly told Chanyeol;

“No. She won’t talk to you. Never! Go out before I call the cops!”

               Chanyeol turned around and walked out as Onew-oppa banged the door closed and said;

“He still has the guts to see you after what he done? Huh! Such a brat!”

                He went closer to me and dragged me inside the bathroom and told no one;

“No one will die if they try to cut their feet. You should try cutting your wrist. You’ll have a 90% potential in dying….”

“Now, wash your foot thoroughly I’ll apply some medicine to it…”

                I nodded and start to wash my wounded foot. It wasn’t aching. It was dumb. And it really looks pale. I wish I just try to commit suicide rather than continuing life feeling this unbearable pain caused by the one I loved. I walk out the bathroom after sometime and saw my cousin sitting on the couch with the first aid kit beside him. He looked at me and gestured me to sit. So I did. He took my legs and applied some medicine and put on some gauze to atleast stop the bleeding.  

“How are you?”

                I faked a smile as my tears starts to make its way down again as I told him;

“I’m not fine, oppa. How can I?”

“Just try to get better. Slowly the pain will go away. Oppa will always be here for his little Baekhyunnie….”

                He rubbed my hair with his soft hands as I nodded and sadly say;

“I’ll try to get better. I promise you I’ll try…”

                He kissed my forehead sweetly; hugged me tight and told me;

“Luna and I will help you mend your broken heart….”

He walked near the tea table and gathered his things and say;

“I’ll be going… Smile, you’re more beautiful when you smile.”

                I nodded and twitched my lips. I wish I got someone like Luna Unnie. Coz despite of the imperfections of my clumsy yet intelligent cousin, she sticks with him and loved him with all her might. I honestly thought I had someone like her. But hell no! Chanyeol is nothing but a big fat lie.

When I was finally alone again, I cried. ! Baekhyun! Help yourself! Get over that derp looking handsome man! Onew-oppa was right. He doesn’t deserve you. I stood up and was about to make my way up my room again when I heard our doorbell ringing. I went near the door to open it thinking it was Luna Unnie or Kai but to my surprise, it revealed the towering handsome man I’ve loved all my life. The same man who gave me my second heartbreak. My first was when my father died. Oh, let’s not talk about him though.

“What are you doing here?”

                I strongly asked without letting him in. he sighed; took my hand; squeezed it tightly as he say;

“I’m here to say I’m----”

“You’re forgiven….”

                 I cut his words and tearfully told him. Lies; lies; f8cking lies! I couldn’t forgive you! I took my hands back and saw the same thing/ring I’m wearing in his ring finger. I was not surprised when he took it off and put it in my hands while saying;

“I’m sorry for making you wait, Baekhyun. I didn’t mean to fall out of love with you and fall for Yoona. I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. She helped me cope up with the longing I felt for you. I’m so sor----”

“How can you do this to me? Chanyeol, six years! Six ing years! I’ve waited for you! I patiently waited! But where did I end? I’m here, crying, with a broken heart after hearing the one I loved and waited getting married with my cousin and my best friend! You’re a big fat liar, Park Chanyeol!! A cheater! A bastard; a complete !!!!”

I spat angrily and broke down; making the ring fall of the floor. I weakly sat on the cold floor as Chanyeol tried to cup my face but I just shrug his hands away and told him;

“Don’t dare touch me! You disgust me!”

                I spat. Lies! I didn’t mean it! I loved him too much to disgust him. I heard him sighed multiple times as he calmly say; ha! He can still keep his calm? Oh, of course he can! He wasn’t the one hurting! It’s me! Me! Byun Baekhyun!

“Hurt me, Baekhyun, curse me. Do anything to help you ease your pain, your anger….”

                I start to smack his chest and yell incoherent shouts and sobs. He caressed my back as I cried harder while telling him;

“I can’t hurt you enough to ease my pain, Chanyeol. I can’t coz I loved you too much...”

                He loosen his tight hug; wipe my tears and look me straight in the eyes and told me which made my torn heart burn into ashes;

“You should now stop loving me, Baekhyun. You better stop wait----”

“You shouldn’t ask me to wait and believe in your promises if you’re not sure about it! You should have told me earlier that you’re now with Yoona so that I can prepare myself for this pain…..”

                He stood up and helped me stood up while still crying. I can’t take it. I wanna die. I really do. There’s no use for me to live if I can’t have him. Chanyeol; the one who made me live. Is this the price I have to pay for loving him too much? For giving all my heart and soul to him? He turned around and told me;

“Be strong, Baek. There’s no use in holding on. I couldn’t be with you. You better stop yourself in loving me more….”

“I can’t Chan. I can’t stop myself from loving you. Coz no matter how much you hurt me, it won’t stop my heart from loving you still, completely….”

                He shook his head and coldly told me;

“I won’t love you the same way as before. I want to but I just can’t I’m sorry….”

                I knelt down and cry as Chanyeol’s shadow slowly vanishes away. I closed the door; leaned on it and cry as I heard some thunder and the rain starts to fall as if sympathizing with me. I wish crying endlessly will lead you to die. But it just can’t. It won’t help you die…

 

**TWO WEEKS AFTER**

 

After burying myself inside my messy room for the past two weeks, I tried to face the world. I was mindlessly walking up until my feet lead me infront of a well decorated church for a grand wedding. I felt the urge to watch the wedding ceremony. But it broke my heart once more when I saw my Chanyeol and my cheater cousin; Yoona sweetly kissing each other. Then the hurtful truth hit me hard again.

                No matter how much I prayed to the entire God’s and Goddesses the world may praise, Chanyeol will never be mine again. NEVER!!!!! But his marriage with my best friend Yoona can’t stop me from loving him. Not anyone who cared so much for me. Nobody can. Nobody can’t stop me.  Coz I won’t let myself stop loving him though it might hurt me. I can’t and I probably won’t!

 

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i hope you all like it.
i just revise it a little.
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the verdict?

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