Hi guys~ i'm back with another angst one shot. Well not actually a new one though. I'm just reposting my old fic on lj to asianfanfics with changes here and there and of course the character (if needed)

So, enjoy the story^^

A/N : This story is on Chanyeol' POV ne^^

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Do you know what it's like to be the odd one out when you're in the middle of a family reunion?

Do you know what it's like to have all eyes at you with either mocking eyes or disgusted eyes?
Do you know what it's like to have no one as a friend?
Do you know what it's like to receives treatment like some trash from your own family?
Do you know what it's like to have your efforts, your best job are nothing but failures in their eyes?

To put it simply, do you know what it's like to feel unloved?

Well, you have no idea right? you have no ing idea about the life i've been living for 19 years in this ing bunch of people called my family.
I came from a wealthy family, still is very rich. But that's what i hate the most. Wealth, Money, High status.
Never once i felt a love, care, attention from my family. Because of what? they have some things more important than me.

I admit, i'm not the best son in the world. I tried, i failed. Part of the learning process though.

Still fresh in my mind, in my childhood, never once i cuddle with my parents. They, no, the butlers and the maids said that they are busy everytime i asked them where's my parents. Never once i receive a "good work son" from my parents's mouth. Only "Don't disturb us!" and "Just this? that's it? can't you do a better job?" also the words they use the most "You are such a disgrace to our family" At first, i kept on crying my heart out every time they said those things to me. Maybe because the same reason, i've left with nothing but eyes that runs out of tears, an empty heart that can't even feels, and a mask to protect my weary self, to protect me from being hurt further. The pain is still there, it still sting everytime they said shouted those words to me. I did get used to the pain, but it have never leave.

But once, my dark world finally saw a little shine, brought by a man called Kris. Never i felt an over flowing happiness like the time i spent with him. Never my cheeks hurt from smiling too long, scratch that, i never smile in front of people. Kris re-new my world, erasing my dark past behind.

But, my happiness never last long. My good-for-nothing parents found out i'm gay, and as usual forced me to do things i never want to do.

For once, i fought for my happiness, i fought for my only love.

You know what i got? a good slap and good hatred speech from both of my parents's mouth. What shocked me the most is the slap.. never once in my 19 years of live my parents lay their hands on me. Be it a verbal attack, starve me for days, disgusted look, but never once they lay any part of their body to me. Maybe i'm too disgusting to be touched by their holy hands

My hand reached to my now red cheek.

They gave me a warning. 

"Stay away from that bastard. He just after your money. Do what we said, or he will gets the punishment!"

The thought of Kris gets hurt is scared every bits of me. I just nodded dumbly, and go to my room.

I decided to sent a message to Kris, since i don't trust my voice on a condition like this.

Then i do what my parents want, breaking our relationship up.

Call me dumb, idiot, retarded, coward, whatever you want, i don't and won't care! I care only for 1 thing, and 1 thing only, Kris' safety. I know very damn well what those 2 people capable of doing, and i'm not going to risk Kris' life.

In my text I said we weren't meant to be
I said we are a failure
I said 2 men can't be together
I said i never really loved him.
I said i only wanted to know how it feels like to date a man. now i know what it's like, there's no need to keep this sinful relationship

He didn't believe it though. Stupid him.

Few hours later, he came literally breaking of my house's gate. Pushing through the bodyguards, and met my parents

He screamed his head off calling my name. But me, being a coward i was, only peeking through my door, accompanied by unstopping tears

My parents and him started to fight. not a fist fight though, a verbal one. My parents always good at intimidated people. I'm one of their living victims. Most of the victims suicide because they can't take the pressure.

Then my mom left the 2 men who still fighting. She came back not long after that.

My eyes open wide. I force my fearful self and drag my feet to cover Kris. I came just a split second before a loud "bang" was heard
 

But what could i do? i feel my body being lifted and after that, i lose my last grip to my consciousness.

Mianhae Kris, but at least i keep you alive.


I'm not dead though. Maybe god hates me too much to let me leave the cruel world easily, or maybe god loves me too much for letting me have my second chance. To maybe feel happy at last.

I fell in coma for 2 years and 3 months Kris said. I was lucky enough the bullet missed my liver. Death slipped it chance to take me, and my parents were arrested for having an illegal weapon and corruption.

I'm finally able to feel peace and live my life better with my stubborn, stupid other-half, who won't leave if i told to,Kris..

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