Taemin 

That lord whose hand must take my plight shall carry

Half my love with him, half my care and duty.

-Cordelia, King Lear

We'll always be together.

Taemin still remembers his vow, whispered in the darkness as he lay beside his brother. Together, they had huddled beneath the threadbare blankets, holding each other's hand for warmth and comfort. The words had fallen easily from his lips back then, back when they had needed nothing but each other. 

*****

Though he was a mere two minutes younger, Kai had always been twice as strong, twice as brave, and twice as quiet whenever their intoxicated father lashed out in anger. They looked enough alike that their father never noticed, though Taemin doubted he cared which son he hit; the only thing he had ever cradled lovingly was his liquor bottle.

It was not only their father that Kai shielded him from. No one, not schoolyard bullies nor lecherous old men could lay a hand on him as long as Kai was beside him.

Does it hurt? Taemin would ask, knowing that it did. Though Kai bore the marks and bruises, Taemin could always feel the shadows of his pain through their bond.

Not really Kai would reply, flashing a quick, reassuring smile. I'm okay as long as you are.

But Taemin knew he wasn't okay, not really. The nightmares would plague him almost every night, leaving him sweating, shivering, sometimes even screaming. Yet Taemin could do nothing but hold him til morning, sending prayers to the stars plastered to the ceiling.

*****

His prayers were answered when their mother won custody. She had found a steady job and showered them with affection as she welcomed them to her small but tidy apartment. They had finally escaped, could look to the future without fear or worry.  

But Kai could neither forget nor forgive her for abandoning them. Taemin could see the tightness in his eyes whenever their mother spoke to him, could feel him stiffen whenever she  wrapped her loving arms around him.

You should be nicer to her, you know Taemin said as he rubbed a towel through his brother's damp hair. 

We would have been fine without her Kai snapped.

Would we? Taemin replied softly, running his fingers over his brother's scar-riddled back. He still remembered the sight of Kai lying amongst shards of glass, blood blooming on his t-shirt after another beating from their father.

Eyes flashing with anger, Kai jumped to his feet and pushed him aside. She wasn't there when you needed her most. I was.

It was the truth. His brother had always taken his share of the burden without complaint, but there was only so much a child can endure before breaking. And deep down, Taemin knew that Kai was already broken, an irreparable mess of shattered glass.

*****

The distance between them grew as Taemin buried himself in school and work. The link between them weakened to the point where he could no longer read his brother's mind with a single glance. But he was too busy to bother with Kai's mood swings. After being promoted from dishwasher to barista at an upscale café downtown, he had bigger things to worry about, things like Choi Minho. 

Taemin was drawn to him the moment he walked through the door, a laptop in one hand and a stack of blueprints in the other. He had seen his fair share of wealthy businessmen and chattering trophy wives at the café, but Minho was the only one who had not allowed his status to surmount him. Despite his apparent affluence, everything, from his thank you's to his easy smiles, was delivered with complete sincerity.

So Taemin was a little disappointed when Minho ordered two espressos instead of one, the Sunday morning after a month of brief exchanges that had left him craving for more. 

Are you expecting someone? he asked, glancing around at the empty café.

Perhaps Minho answered with a grin, gesturing to the seat across from him. If he'd care to join me.

They talked about anything and everything, from Minho's adventures as an architecture student in France to Taemin's less riveting tales of high school life and brewing coffee.

That day, the first spark had flown, warming the heart that had once solely belonged to his brother.

*****

It was love. Taemin was sure of it.

The months flew by, spent sipping coffee beneath the sun and stealing kisses in the shade. They would work side by side, Taemin on his algebra and Minho on his grand plans to expand his father's hotel empire.

There's something I want to show you.

It was the day before Minho's flight back to Paris. Taemin didn't care where they went, as long as they could spend these last few hours together. They sat by the river watching the sky fade to indigo, the dying sun sending a fiery eulogy across the waves.

Suddenly, a burst of light bloomed above them. Fireworks of all shapes and colours filled the sky, their splendour mirrored in the water below.

It's so beautiful Taemin whispered. And wonderful and magical and-   

Minho bent and silenced him with his lips. Taemin kissed him back, and for that one moment of ecstasy, he had forgotten his brother completely.

*****

Come with me.

They were sprawled across the silken sheets, rays of morning sunshine warming their bare skin. Minho's eyes were filled with the same inextinguishable longing that tugged at his own heart. Taemin could imagine their life together; walking down cobbled streets with buttery croissants in their hands until nightfall, the Tower lit like a beacon in the starry sky. 

How? he asked, breathless with hope.

I'll get you a spot at the university and you can live at my place.

Taemin paused. It was too easy, having all his dreams fulfilled within the space of a heartbeat. After a lifetime of hardships, he could not believe that he was having happiness handed to him on a silver tray.

Please Minho murmured, breath warm against his neck. And so Taemin nodded, unable to resist the promise in his lingering kiss.

*****

His delusions ended the day he found the week-old envelope in the trash can. The acceptance letter and plane ticket were ripped to shreds.

You had no right! Taemin shouted, hurling the scraps of paper at his brother.

He's playing with you.

He loves me!

His brother let out a harsh, humourless laugh. You call that love? Would he give up everything to keep you safe? Would he protect you even if the pain was worse than death?

Taemin watched in horror as Kai grabbed the letter opener lying on the table, slashing it violently across his own arm. Blood flowed freely from the wound, dripping down to his  fingertips. 

Would he die for you?

Kai dropped to his knees and took Taemin's hand in his own, just as he had when they were children. It was the first time Taemin had seen him cry since the day their mother had left them, ten bitter years ago.

He can take anything from me. Anything but you.

Taemin felt his own cheeks; they wet with tears he had not meant to shed. He was wrong. The intrinsic bond between them never had been, and never would be broken.

*****

Cordelia was a liar.

She had sworn to love her husband, yet she had rushed to her father's rescue without a second thought. Because blood is thicker than water and because it is impossible to love two people equally.  

In the end, she had chosen to die in the darkness beside her father. Two birds trapped in a cage of their own,  singing for no one but each other. 

And as much as he hated to admit it, Taemin too, was a liar.

Just like her.