I got a sudden burst of inspiration when I was listening to my old favorite songs. The song itself isn’t very old. Actually, it’s fairly recent. 

I got some parts of Katy Perry’s song “Thinking of You” (the muse of this one shot) and put it at the end. 

Enjoy!

You were curled up by the window that night, staring out into the darkness as rain pelted the glass. It was so lonely.

Sungjong.

His name escaped your lips in a barely audible voice, and you sighed. You missed him.

Sungjong.

Like a mantra. Over and over again, voice never more than a whisper. It was your fault, really.

Sungjong.

He was hurt because of you. Because of you, your mistakes, and because you were blind.

Sungjong.

You clutched your notebook to your chest, one that you hadn’t touched in a very long time. Ever since Sungjong disappeared, your inspiration for writing and composing music was gone. But you needed to channel your feelings of loss somewhere.

“I’m home!” Ren called out as he stepped inside your shared apartment. You ignored him, tears still pooling in your eyes, and brought your knees closer to your chest, squishing your notebook there, as though it would block the pain from getting to where it would hurt most – your heart.

He spotted you by the window, walked over, and sat down beside you.

“Another one of those nights?” he murmured gently, an arm wrapping around your shoulder. You were ashamed that he always knew whenever you were thinking of Sungjong, but that’s the way he was. And Ren would never forgive himself, because it was his fault that you were this way. Ren knew that you would never return his feelings. You were just friends.

You nodded and buried your face in your knees.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and he pulled you closer as your tears fell, and silent sobs wracked your body. You allowed yourself to be held, not breathing a word.

He called your name softly as he brushed your hair away from your face, and you shot up, looking around frantically, gripping your notebook so tight that it might break. You later realized that it was just the two of you, and Sungjong was not here, he didn’t call your name...

“I’m sorry,” Ren repeated. “I must’ve sounded like him.”

You curled up again. “Yes,” you answered quietly. “yes you did.”

That was probably the reason why all this happened at all. One day, the same day that you and Sungjong’s had one of your worst fights, you ran into Ren. You remembered him as a batch mate from high school; but he looked so different. He has dyed his hair blonde, and he looked somewhat more... feminine. But so did Sungjong. So who were you to judge?

You saw Sungjong in the way he flipped his bangs, in his build, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed... He was as gentle as Sungjong, and he took care of you. He was everything you missed in Sungjong.

Because you and Sungjong had been fighting so much, Ren had told you: “If he ever hurts you, you can always come to me.”

And you did. Especially when your fights ended in tears. Sungjong later found out about it and demanded you stop seeing him. And it hurt, when the one you love tells you to stop seeing the other one person who can make you happy.

It didn’t end well.

“So this is where you’ve been going.” Sungjong spat as he eyed you cowering behind Ren. “Every time we fight, you’ve been coming over here and cheating on me with this... This .”

“No,” You said, pleadingly. “it’s not like that. You have to believe me.”

“It isn’t.” Ren confirmed. “If you weren’t such a horrible boyfriend, then she wouldn’t have met me at all. I give her the kind of comfort that you’ve been failing to give her. You two fight, she walks out, but do you every run after her?”

Sungjong gritted his teeth, taking a step forward, ready to beat the crap out of this cheap copy of himself.

You gripped Ren’s shoulders. “Stop it. Please.”

Ren ignored you. “If you cared so much, you wouldn’t even let her walk out. Heck, you wouldn’t even pick a fight with her in the first place. What disgusts me the most is that she’s always the first to apologize. Can you even call yourself a man?”

He softened at this, and your eyes met his. Fear was clearly shown as you tried to hide yourself, but neither of you broke eye contact. He stepped forward again, and you hid yourself further.

“Oh, honey...” Sungjong whispered hoarsely. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” He came over to you faster than you could run away and pulled you into his arms. “Your boyfriend is an idiot. I’m sorry. So sorry.”

You slowly brought your arms up and wrapped them around his waist. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

From over Sungjong’s shoulder, you smiled at Ren, who smiled back at you.

‘Thank you’, you mouthed at him.

He rolled his eyes playfully. ‘I’m the best. I know.’

You and Sungjong walked back home hand in hand after that. It felt like your first year together all over again; he was the same as he was before he changed. His smile... How you missed it.

“Uh...” Sungjong started, a little carefully.

You smiled. “Yes?”

“Can I be...” he hesitated. “honest with you?”

You rolled our eyes and smiled up at him. “Of course you can. What do you take me for?”

This seemed to reassure him of what he was going to say. “I’m not very comfortable with you seeing Ren.” he confessed.

“And why not?”

He hesitated again. “The way he looks at you... He likes you, you know. I’m afraid that he’ll take you away from me.”

“Believe me, I don’t see him in that way. If it makes you feel better, we can go back right now and I’ll talk to him about it.”

This made him seem visibly better. “I’d like that.”

You got back to Ren’s place, and he waited outside. So you told him everything Sungjong said. You explained to him that you only saw him as a friend, and he said that he knew, that you clearly belonged to Sungjong.

He walked closer to you, though, and he was getting pretty close, so you backed up as well, accidentally knocking over a vase. It dropped to the ground, glass shattering.

Ren wasn’t fazed by this. “At least let me have this.”

The exact moment he pressed his lip to yours, Sungjong burst through the door, calling your name worriedly. Ren immediately pushed himself off you, your eyes wide open in shock, and Sungjong’s blood was boiling.

He glared at both of you so hard that you felt like he was killing you in his mind.

“To think that I trusted you. I hope you’ll be relieved to hear that you can live your life without me in the picture.” he said, voice cracking. You saw a tear slide down Sungjong’s cheek before he ran off. By the time you made it outside, he was nowhere to be seen.

You closed your eyes as you remembered that day. It was a little over a month ago, but the images of Sungjong’s heart broken face, that single tear, was still vivid in your mind. It hurt because he was probably this way, thinking that you never loved him. There was so much left unsaid.

You hated yourself, because you let Ren lead you back inside. You let him stop you from searching for Sungjong. Why did you let him go so easily? But deep inside, you knew that it wasn’t Ren’s fault at all. You let all these things happen.

“I’m sorry,” Ren murmured again.

“Please, stop apologizing.” You told him gently.

You felt better in Ren’s arms, but it wasn’t the same. He reminded you so much of Sungjong, but it wasn’t the same.

Second best was all you would ever know now.

“Excuse me,” You abruptly stood up, notebook dropping to the ground, but the images in your head were too much that you didn’t care. You ran to your room, slammed the door, and you cried your heart out.

Ren could hear your sobs and cries from where he was seated. He sighed. He’d never forgive himself.

Out of curiosity, he picked up your notebook, and flipped to the most recent entry, where a pencil was lodged, bookmarking the page.

Reading the lyrics to the unfinished song, he felt tears prickling his eyes as his eyes scanned over the words. How could he be happy, when the person he loved wasn’t?

You said move on, where do I go?

I guess second best is all I will know

You're the best, and yes I do regret

How I could let myself let you go?

Oh, I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you

Thinking of you, what you would do

If you were the one who was spending the night

Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes

Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes

Sorry for the angst. As I've said many times before, it's my favorite genre.

I'm still pretty much blank for my upcoming chaptered fic. But the main characters are definitely Sunggyu and Sungjong. And, of course, the OC. So check on my stories every now and then! 8D

I chose Ren and Sungjong because I can sort of see them in each other, so I think it would be fitting. I'm not exactly a fan of NU'EST (Inspirit 5everrr) but they're cool, I guess. XD