The thing that brought back everything

"Baby, will you hold my hand?"

Taeyeon held Jessica's right hand. She felt calmness, a feeling of satisfaction, that holding the hands of this girl that she loves makes her think of the memories they had. Those happy memories of them together are their strength that no one could take away from them.This is their favorite bonding. Both of them lying down on the green grass near the lake and staring at the blue sky. They feel very natural and refreshed.

"I won't forget our happy memories, our unconditional love, our times together." Taeyeon planted a sweet kiss on her cheek. "I won't forget you, Jessica."

Jessica closed her eyes, trying to hold the tears that will flow soon. Her heart pounded hard and fast.

She really hated to think that they need to break up someday, because her love for Taeyeon is beyond her love for herself or for anyone or for anything in this world. She failed to hold back the tears and so it flowed on her cheek though her eyes were closed.

"Stop crying, you know I don't want to see you cry." Taeyeon lifted her weight on her left side with her head resting on her left arm, facing Jessica. She wiped her tears with her thumb and kissed her.

"We're not breaking up, okay. It won't happen. There's no way we're doing that."

"Sshhh.....I know I know, I won't let that happen Jessica. I won't leave you whatever may happen."

"There's really no way, even death. Our love will continue until the next life."

"Baby, you're thinking too much. What matters most is us, today. We're inlove and will be."

Jessica sat up hugging her knees and stared at the sky. On her thoughts, she's thanking God for everything. That once in her life, she found someone that will make her very happy and will love her completely, and that is Taeyeon. She's everything Jessica could ever wish for. Nothing more, nothing less.The breeze started to blow harder which made Jessica come back to her senses.

"We should go home------

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.........

The sleepyhead is now snoring beside her. Taeyeon is one of a kind sleepyhead actually. She stared at her for a few seconds and then she held again Taeyeon's hands.

/You are my everything Taeyeon. I love you so much and I won't let us to be apart./ she whispered. Taeyeon smiled as Jessica planted a soft kiss on her lips. She then laid herself beside her sleeping girlfriend. Finally she closed her eyes and she followed Taeyeon on their dreams.

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2 days after, they'll celebrate their first anniversary together. It has been a year since they started to be inlove, to experience the hardships and pains that a couple should undergo. After all, they are still together. The two of them in their own world, against the odds. Both of them are happy and grateful that they still have each other.

Taeyeon have prepared a romantic dinner at the lakeside they usually spend their free time. It was a starry night, maybe God gave them the most wonderful sky they could ever see, since it is a very special night for the two. She decorated the place, threw red and white rose petals around. The candle on the center of the table made the ambiance a little more romantic since it is the only source of light aside from the moon. The lake is very calm and the wind is a bit chilly. Everything is set. Everything is perfect.

But then she remembered something that she forgot to bring. Little did Jessica knew, Taeyeon is going to propose to her tonight. She drove back home to get that precious ring she would offer Jessica very soon.

She called her, "Jess, 6pm at the lakeside. See you in a while!"

"It's already 5:45! Why so early?"

"Never mind. Be on your best dress. I love you babe!"

"Okay. Don't be late! I love you too." Jessica hung up.

Jess piled her dresses on her bed. All of them seemed so gorgeous and elegant that she can't even pick what to wear. Since she remembered what Taeyeon said that she looks best when she wears the most comfortable suit, she decided to wear a much simpler get up. 8 minutes left til 6pm. Good thing the lakeside is 5 minutes away from her place.

She hurried to the place where she will meet Taeyeon. And there, she stood from afar. Down the lakeside she saw a lighted candle, and a not so clear view of the chairs and table. Jessica tried to inform Taeyeon that she had already arrived but she thought her girlfriend wanted her to go down on her own. She walked slowly, expecting Taeyeon to appear in any minute. Aside from the swish of the grass as she steps on it, she can hear the pound of her heart that keeps beating faster.

Finally, she saw everything Taeyeon prepared. She was very happy. She loved everything, the rose petals, the candles, the sweet music, the ambiance. Everything seems so admirable and there's only one thing to make it perfect, Jessica has to see Taeyeon right now.

"Baby, I'm already here." Jessica smiled, teary-eyed. "I love you, Taeyeon. You don't know how happy I am.

Let's make our first anniversary a memorable one, shall we?"

Suddenly the breeze blew harder causing the fire from the candle to fade, and the petals were carried away. The strong wind messed up everything Taeyeon has made. It became darker, but the moonlight gave enough light for Jessica to see that everything has gone. She was totally scared, and the fact that Taeyeon still hasn't showed up, something might have happened.

Crying, she ran up back to the road. Whatever happened to Taeyeon, it's all her fault for not calling her right away, she thought. She needed to check on her, she's desperate to see her, to know what's going on, to make sure that Taeyeon is all fine. She prayed to God,

"If something might have happened to her, please make her fine. Please. I won't ask for more, knowing that she's alright is more than enough as an anniversary gift."

She can see from the streetlights that rain will start to fall soon. As a raindrop fell into her cheeks, it started to rain hard. Few minutes after, finally a taxi came to pass by but she's all wet from head to toe. On her way, she's still praying for Taeyeon's safety.

"Oh my........." Her eyes grew big when they passed by the park. "Stop the taxi right there."

Filled with nervousness, she ran to the incident. Not so crowded since it is raining hard. The police is checking the whole place, and few seconds later, he ambulance came. She walked around, and at the back of the park, she saw a familiar car, bumped into a tree. From the scene, it may have crashed though the gate and bumped into a tree inside the park.

"Miss? What are you doing here?" A policeman noticed her.

"What happened, sir?" She stated, still staring at the car few meters away in front of her.

"There was an accident. As you can see, this car crashed against this giant tree but before that, it's speed destroyed the park's gate over there, and it made a way for the car to crash itself right here."

Jessica didn't respond. Her tears ran freely on her cheeks, but since it's raining, the policeman didn't notice it. Her body is shivering, full of questions on her mind. What if it's Taeyeon's car? What if she's the one inside? What if......... She stared blankly on the car.

She felt the police man checked something something on his notebook, and he broke the silence. "By any chance, do you know someone named Kim Taeyeon?"

Jessica came back to her senses. The name of her girlfriend, being asked by the police. It isn't a good thing. Her eyes grew bigger as she faced the man. Her hands were cold and she held the policeman tight on his wrists. "Why?? Where is she?? Tell me where is she!!"

She cried out loud and kneeled on the wet grass out of being desperate. "Miss, she's being taken care of our first aid and they ran her to the nearest hospital."

Jessica needed to go there. She needed to see her girlfriend, immediately. Taeyeon needs her, she must be beside her right now. What is happening? All of those happiness they had, it came with a price. Is this what they need to pay for those 12 months of memories? Is this what they need to suffer?

Jessica's mind is full of unanswered questions. Taeyeon must live. She must live, because they love each other and they live because of it.

-At the hospital-

"Kim Taeyeon's room please. I need to see her right now." Jessica didn't mind being wet from the rain, just to make it to see Taeyeon.

"She's still in the emergency room, miss."

She punched her fists on the wall. "But I need to see her! I really need to!"

A concerned nurse held Jessica on her arms and brought her to a seat. She covered Jessica's body with a blanket and the blonde girl started to cry hard.

"Miss, that would be unnecessary. Calm down and go home first. Get back when you dried yourself up."

"She's my girlfriend. Please save her. I beg you."

"We will. Go home for now and we'll take care of her, Miss Jessica."

She felt cold. Her body shivers as she was driven home by the ambulance. She felt that her world is crashing, her heart is breaking. She is a failure, she thought. Not being there when her girlfriend needs her. That's a big failure. What does she need to do? Taeyeon should live. She prayed, "God, please save her. She's the only

person I have in life. Taeyeon is the greatest person I know and I love her so much. Please save her."

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It was almost sunset when Jessica woke up. She rubbed her eyes and saw an unclear vision of her sleepyhead girlfriend sleeping beside her at the lakeside.

"Baby wake up, we must go home now." she shaked Taeyeon's arms.

In a few seconds Taeyeon sat up and smiled at Jessica while rubbing her eyes. "Oh look over there!"

"Where?" Jessica looked over to where Taeyeon points her finger.

"There's nothing-------------

She felt Taeyeon's lips on her. The latter broke the kiss and said, "Look at the sunset. It's as beautiful as you."

She blushed and hugged Taeyeon tight. "Don't ever leave me Tae, I love you that much."

"I won't leave nor forget you Jessica. You know that. I'll love you until my next life."

Jessica felt so complete with Taeyeon. A day without her is a day of being dead. She lives for Taeyeon and so Taeyeon does. They're living a life full of love in their own world. They needed nothing more than each other. The two were really in love and so the last thing Jessica saw is the silhouette of them, kissing on a sunset.

All that has happened, all that Jessica saw, it was a dream. A romantic memory of them 2 days before their anniversary. Two days before this tragic incident happened to the both of them. Everything that day was turned into a dream, and now, she came back to reality. The reality that her girlfriend is on a bad state, confined in the hospital. Jess woke up from sleeping on a chair beside Taeyeon's bed. She's now inside the hospital room where Taeyeon was confined. As soon as she saw Taeyeon, she got up and kissed her on her forehead. She run her fingers through Taeyeon's hair, which Taeyeon loved. Jessica cried too hard last night. All she can do now is to thank God that Taeyeon is safe. Taeyeon is alright. She held Taeyeon's left hand with a dextrose on it's wrist and she whispered,

"Thank you Taeyeon. You saved your life for me. I promise to take care of you more than what I did. Happy 366 days, I love you so much."

As she kissed her hands, Taeyeon's eyes began to blink. Jessica didn't notice. Taeyeon moved her head slowly from left to right, until she saw an unclear vision of a blonde girl holding her left hand. She felt numb. Her whole body aches. Even her head still hurts. And the worst thing is that, she doesn't remember anything.

In a low weak tone, she asked the girl, "Wh--who are y-you?"

Jess didn't hear what Taeyeon said but she heard her speak. The moment she spoke made Jessica stand up from her seat as she was surprised with the sudden voice she heard. Full of happiness, she cried. "Tae! I know you won't leave me!" She hugged the patient tight. "I love you so much Taeyeon."

The clueless Taeyeon felt a sudden spark when this blonde girl hugged her. Her heart pounded faster. But her head hurts so much that caused her to push away this girl. She can't remember anything. Who is she? Maybe her younger sister? A cousin? Who knows...

Jessica was surprised with what Taeyeon did. She stared at the patient, she's making a straight face, a feelingless face. A big W-H-Y is now clouding Jessica's mind. Does she hate her? Does she curse Jessica for not saving her? All she felt was guilt and grief. She still cried but it's for a different reason for now.

"I'm sorry Tae. I'm sorry I wasn't there." She bowed her head. "Forgive me."

Jessica felt so embarrassed so she went out of the room for a while. She doesn't want Taeyeon to see her cry because she knew that Taeyeon wouldn't like it. She doesn't know what to do, maybe she could wait for Taeyeon to accept her apology. The doctor came to pass by a few minutes later.

"Are you Miss Taeyeon's guardian?"

Jessica nodded.

"I have a good and bad news for you." Little did the doctor know, Jessica already knew that Taeyeon is safe. "Good news is that, Miss Taeyeon is fine. She doesn't have serious injuries, so physically she's fine."

Jessica wasn't surprised. But she was worried about the bad news the doctor would tell her. "What about the bad news doctor?"

"About that, let's come inside."

The doctor accompanied Jessica inside and they saw Taeyeon awake staring blankly on the window. As soon as they sat on the bench inside the room, the doctor started to explain.

"Miss Jessica, the patient is now suffering from amnesia. She may remember things slowly day by day. But for now, according to her behavior, she doesn't remember even a single thing."

Jessica's fists started to get cold. Speechless from what the doctor has said. So now the big question has been answered. Her girlfriend doesn't remember anything, Taeyeon doesn't remember Jessica. How......how did this happen to them.

"I'll check on her everyday Miss Jessica, i'll be going."

She stood as the doctor left, slowly walking straight beside Taeyeon. Tears keep falling through her cheeks. She thought everything was fine. She thought her girlfriend is alright. She thought they will forget this incident and live a new life. All of those thoughts were just thoughts, because now, Taeyeon doesn't remember anything. Even Jessica, her own girlfriend.

"What about us? What about everything we've been through? What about those happy memories? Can't you remember anything?"

Taeyeon gave a blank stare for response.

"You said you will never forget me! You promised me! Don't you remember?!"

Taeyeon's heart suddenly felt soft. This girl is so pitiful. All she does is to cry and cry. She felt sad, although she doesn't know this girl standing beside her.

"Stop crying." She held Jessica's hands. "I don't like it when people cry."

She wiped her tears. Desperately wanting Taeyeon to remember everything right at that moment, she curled her fists into the bedsheets and shouted, "Taeyeon, I am Jessica! I am your girlfriend, we're together for a year and a day now. We love each other, and we promised we won't forget everything we do! Now, can you remember me?"

But Taeyeon frowned and looked away from her. "I'm sorry. I want to remember but I really can't."

Jessica sat down and buried her face with her palms.

Taeyeon felt that this girl is someone special to her. Maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe she's really someone close to her heart. She told herself, "Try to remember something. Please, only one thing that can make me remember everything."

She closed her eyes and think calmly until a phrase came into her mind. That one thing she believes thoughout her life.

"Miss.." Jessica looked up to her. "Are you really someone I know?"

She nodded.

"Can I trust you?"

"Yes."

"I want to be honest." Taeyeon sat up from her bed. "I can remember something about myself."

Jessica was delighted to hear her and so she waited for her to speak.

"The mind can forget but the heart can't." The blonde girl stared at her.

"I believe in that. My heart says there's something in you that I need to remember."

Taeyeon bowed down. She felt useless. If this blonde girl is telling the truth, that she is someone special to her, that would be embarrassing. For not remembering anything. Although she desperately wanted to remember all the things about herself. She knew it was hard for this girl to accept what happened but what she can do? She can't even help herself.

"Miss..I mean, Jessica." The blonde girl smiled upon hearing her name from Taeyeon's lips.

"I badly need to remember everything. And I guess no one can help me with this except you."

Taeyeon reached for Jessica's hands and said, "I want to start all over with you, shall we?"

The next day, Jessica prepared a home made breakfast and lunch for her patient. She drove back and forth from her place to the hospital everyday to bring one thing that will make Taeyeon remember something. In each thing that she brings, she tries to tell the story behind it, and Taeyeon loved it. She may not remember how that thing came up but she is delighted that they are really a sweet couple. She believed everything Jessica has told her. She wanted to regain her memories. She wanted to remember all those things they did. Jessica never get tired of exerting all of her efforts to help her girlfriend, she never get tired of praying and hoping for that day that Taeyeon would remember everything. Their happy memories, their unconditional love, their times together.

Jessica continued doing these for months. But every night, she cries alone because at the back of her mind, she's starting to lose hope. Seeing Taeyeon smiling at her she regains strength and hope. "I believe we'll be back together someday, Taeyeon." After 6 months of her efforts and sacrifices, the patient hasn't remember anything except for her own identity. Meanwhile, the doctor was there to explain everything.

"The patient will remember the little things about herself day by day. But in some cases, patients with amnesia forgets the most important things in their life. I'm sorry Miss Jessica, but she may not remember you forever."

Jessica's world crashed. Her hopes broke into pieces, her hopes that Taeyeon would be back to her. A lot of things are needed to build her hopes up, to bring her strength back but it took only one sentence to break it all down.

Taeyeon saw her crying, the patient felt so hopeless. "Stop crying Jess, you're not the only one who's suffering."

She walked to where Jessica is sitting. "I feel so hopeless Tae, but I will wait forever for you."

Taeyeon hugged her and she felt again this spark. Yes, she believes in Jessica. In everything she tells, in everything she says. But the things is that, she can't even confirm it to herself. She knew Jessica is a very important person in her life, she doesn't remember how or when or where, though. They were both hopeless.

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Another 6 months have passed, Jessica still sees Taeyeon. Checking on her, bringing something for her to remember but still, she hasn't improved. She accepted that Taeyeon wouldn't remember her forever so she decided to make new memories with her. The two of them decided to start all over again. It's almost a year from that tragic incident, almost a year from that time when they're about to celebrate their first anniversary.

"I'm home!" Jessica opened the door with her hand carried paper bags. She brought a lot of stuffs as if she went into a Christmas shopping. That makes sense since it's already 12th of December at that day. Taeyeon ran to her like a child who missed her mom so much.

Hugging jessica tight, she said, "Jess! I missed you!"

"How are you my dear? I am already here now okay?" She kissed Taeyeon on her forehead.

After the hugging scene, both of them said in an excited manner, "I have a good news for you!"

Both of them laughed upon hearing it but, "You first." Taeyeon insisted.

"Okay." Jessica smiled and sat on the sofa, "Did you know that today should be our second anniversary?"

Taeyeon didn't respond.

"I'm considering it as a 'no'. That's why I brought a lot of stuffs today so that we'll be cooking every food my Taeyeon loves and everything that she wishes for. Isn't that exciting?" She placed the most wonderful smile in her face but still, Taeyeon can feel the hurt Jessica feels in her heart.

"My turn!" Taeyeon lifted Jessica's spirit up. "Give me a minute."

Jessica's eyes followed Taeyeon upstairs, wondering what might be the good news she's talking about. Clueless about what will Taeyeon do, she felt a bit excited and impatient and so she slowly walked upstairs, to where Taeyeon went. "Maybe she went back to her room." She thought. And so she went straight ahead to Taeyeon's room. "Tae? Are you there?". She knocked a few times but she didn't get an answer. Slowly, she twisted the doorknob and.........

"This is where we usually go to spend our free time." Taeyeon stood in front of the door and showed her a picture of the lakeside.

"And here, the sunset we love to watch together, and here, the chocolates I gave you every monthsary." She took another picture from behind.

"Look, here's a photo of you sleeping, I took it when you slept before me. This is so cute." Taeyeon giggled.

"And here! See how naughty you are, you ponytailed my hair, I looked like an onion. Right there, the stuff toy a bought for you in surprise!"

Jessica is pure SPEECHLESS. She felt numb. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hug Taeyeon. Not the patient Taeyeon but the Taeyeon she knew a year ago. Her girlfriend, is now back, standing in front of her.

"And do you know why I remembered all of those?" Jessica came back to her senses. "It's because of this."

Taeyeon got a small red velvet box in her hand. She opened it in front of Jessica and from there, a diamond ring shone to her eyes. Seeing Jessica stunned, slowly she knelt on one knee and offered the ring to her,

"One year ago, I've prepared a romantic dinner for you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to go. Out of excitement I drove fast so that I would arrive at the place ahead of you. I was careless. I didn't took care of myself and I'm sorry. I caused all this suffering. One year ago, we're about to celebrate our first anniversary together. One year ago,

I decided to propose to you. One year ago, i wasn't able to do because I forgot you."

Taeyeon shed a tear, and so Jessica does. "Babe, I am now here, kneeling in front of you, asking for your sweet 'I do'."

She took the ring out of the box and held Jessica's right hand. Taeyeon positioned her hands in front of the ring, ready to put it on.

"Will you marry me?"

Jessica smiled and she nodded, "Yes, Taeyeon. I will marry you. I do."

The two kissed each other. Both happy for God answered their prayers. It's been a year since they last kissed each other, from that sunset. And now, they're happily getting married soon. The sweet music played on background, the same music Taeyeon had when she prepared the romantic dinner she planned. She hasn't changed. She may forget but she never changed. She's still as sweet as she was, funny as she was, in love as she was.

Finally the two of them were back to their own world, a world where no one could ever find.