How come I’m so happy whenever you’re here? How come I don’t care about the “Only 13” chants when you’re here? How come I can still smile even through sadness when you’re here? How come the world seem so dark when you leave? How come I feel like “Only 13” are killing me when you leave? How come I have nightmares when you’re not by my side?

It’s been a while now. It’s been a while since I noticed that I can’t live without you anymore.

Cho Kyuhyun. Kui Xian. I love you so much I can’t live without you.

How would the fans react to these words? They’d hate me even more, for sure. Maybe QMi shippers would be happy though. But you? What about you? What would you do, what would you think? Maybe you’d hate me…

No, you would never hate me.

As soon as you appear, all dark thoughts leave my mind. I smile, I don’t think about anything else than the fact that you’re here, by my side. I’m happy, so happy that you’re here.

Should I tell you?

Yeah… yeah, maybe I should. Break the ice. Say it out loud. I open my mouth. Nobody else here except you and me.

“Kui Xian.”

I want to say it in Korean, but it seems much more true in my own language.

“Wo ai ni.”

You don’t seem like you heard me. The manager suddenly enters the room, and tells us we’ll be on stage in five minutes. And five minutes later, you’re on stage. Not long after, I’m also on stage. I’m a bit sad, because you didn’t hear me when I told you. But soon enough, you walk to me after the song, while we’re going backstage to change during a VCR, and you whisper in my ear with that beautiful voice of yours.

“Saranghae.”