Hello everyone :3 Self-explanatory title :)

Okay,I've requested a review of this one-shot from Cover Girl in PARADISE  by maeanneda123  

Review: Just Friends

Title [3/5 marks] – It’s simple, plain and common. It’s a title that has been used before. Even so, I thought that it was good. “Just Friends” fits your story excellently. I like these types of titles because they aren’t draggy and they go straight to the point. One thing you should fix for your main title and your chapter title are the periods. Titles never end with a period and books are a proof of it.

 A/N: Yeah, I actually kinda like "Just Friends" a lot (title-wise) even though it is really cliched and like what you pointed out, common. However, I didn't want a bombastic title, nor one that beats around the bush type, just a short one that has a deep meaning to it. Erm, one question though, if you don't mind me asking, what are the "periods" that you were talking about? XD

Appearance [4/5 marks] – The poster is extremely pretty. The artist did a terrific job. It fits the mood and isn’t overly flashy. I feel like the background is a bit bare though. It’s always nice to have a bit more color when I read on AFF. Once a reader goes on a page, his/her mind is attracted to the appearance. A background frames your story. If you do end up taking my advice by putting a background, it would be nice if you put up a light one, similar to the color tone of your beautiful poster.

 A/N: I agree with you! I absolutely adore the poster, credits to the maker for that :) Hmm...I actually wanted a background though, but I didn't really considered one in the end. Perhaps I'll find a background that fits the story and the poster^^

Description/Foreword [10/10 marks] - It was very well written. It’s a perfect one-shot description. You already started portraying the character’s emotion in the description, which made me want to read more.

 A/N: Oh gosh really??!! Full marks?? THANKS SO MUCH FOR IT! :D I can't believe that you find the description well-written...I thought it was,er,a bit cliched? Well, I think everything I write is overly common. Anyway, thank you! :)

Storyline/Flow [18/20 marks] – The flow was good. You never rushed a scene. It went fast in between, but it’s a one-shot, so it’s understandable. The storyline itself was heartbreaking. A lot of people can relate to this situation in one way or another.

A/N: Wow! A high mark! x) It happened to me once before in my other one-shot, one reader commented that it was a bit too rush. But I didn't want to prolong the content any further, and therefore resulted into some gaps between one scene and the other. And usually the next scene took place about few years later. I actually cried writing the one-shot. Well,almost...

Characters [10/10 marks] – This story was perfect for 1^st person narration. It really let the reader feel all sorts of emotions. Even if it was a one-shot, I felt like I knew the characters thoroughly. All of them were well portrayed in that one chapter. You have some skills.

A/N: Seriously? 10/10? I thought I failed for that category... Sorry but I have very low self-esteem >< Anyway, I've always liked reading stories that are extremely fluffy and angsty that will make my heart cringe. And hence I've developed a liking for writing angsty stories. That's why I tried reaaally hard to portray the characters feelings. To me, a character's feelings are more important than what they do, so I feel the need to write it more that their actions. Thanks so much!

Originality [13/20 marks] – I have to admit that it wasn’t the most original story I’ve ever read. Best friends are a common theme a lot of people use. However, you did make it yours. (I also make stories involving best friends). The way you expressed your ideas were well portrayed in you own way. Besides, don’t we all love semi cliché plots? I mean, what makes stories original is how the author decides to express it.

A/N: I won't deny that I've read fics that are "best friends" type, and yes, I definitely agree that it's a common theme. But however, in the end it's the way the author writes the story, they may have roughly the same storyline, but how they express it in words takes everything to a whole new level. Yep! I totally agree on this one. Thanks! :)
 

Grammar/Vocabulary [19/20 marks] – You’re grammar was generally well structured. But your vocabulary… It was remarkable. All your words fit like a poem (even if it wasn’t a poem). I love the natural flow of your words. Crazy stuff you got going there. The adjectives and adverbs were very well employed and that was your ultimate strength in my opinion.

 A/N: I'm so grateful that I feel like crying now ;~; This will be the umpteenth time I say this but, thank you for your compliment! I won't get complacent though, haha! To be honest, I don't think I deserve such a high mark. I still have lots to learn,and there are so many outstanding authors out there and I really hope I can learn from them! :) I've corrected the mistakes that you pointed out for me ^^

A few mistakes though… An example:

Be careful with verb conjugations. The “days” flew past, so “was” is actually a “were”.

Chapter 1: Days few past like it was seconds.

Correction: (I think that you meant) Days flew past like it were seconds.

Bonus/Entertainment [10/10 marks]

It was really sad. I felt for Park Hye Rin. I’m giving you full marks because I’m curious to see what will happen next. I’m definitely going to read your sequel.

Total: 87/100 A

A/N: Gaaahh!!!! 87!!! I'm so happy I can cry ;~; Thanks so much maeanneda123 for the awesome review!<3 Waah, hope you enjoy the sequel! But don't worry, Hye Rin's troubles are just starting *evil smile* Haha,just joking!

Gonna go edit and change my mistakes :) Do check out the shop if you can! Cover Girl in PARADISE does the best posters/graphics and gives the best-est review ever^^ Those in purple are my response and thoughts about the reviewere's comment :) Thanks again!