While the plane descended in the air and Kyuhyun remained seat belted in his seat by the window, he couldn’t help but feel as empty as ever. Where was he going now? What was he going to do now? What would be awaiting him? 

 

Now that he’d left all else behind…at least he thought he was leaving everything behind. An announcement came on overhead, but Kyuhyun didn’t have the mind to pay attention to it. He climbed off the plane after the other passengers had already left and was greeted by the flight attendant at the doorway. 

 

“Have a nice trip, Sir.” she bowed her head. 

 

Kyuhyun walked pass her without a word and started down the small hall toward the baggage area. 

 

What was he doing here again? 

 

His eyes skimmed every bag that came by blankly. 

 

What was he running from again? 

 

He picked up his suitcase and started for the entrance. 

 

Kyuhyun didn’t know. 

 

He could only remember being hurt and living in dark misery for the past 5 years that had gone by. Each day that came just felt longer. For once, he believed he was living in hell. No, he’d lived in hell the past 5 years. If he died now and went to that doomed place, he wouldn’t be afraid. Such a place would definitely serve him better than this place on earth. 

 

The bright sun seared his eyes and he had to blink back before clearly seeing all the cars parked out from and the busy highway on the other side. Pulling out his sunglasses he slipped them over his eyes and trotted forward hailing himself a taxi. 

 

Once the car started off he appreciated the silence the taxi driver gave him. 

 

He didn’t know where he was going. 

 

The taxi driver drove around a run down city overgrown with meadows, poor homes, and a brick wall. Kyuhyun suddenly turned in his seat when something from the corner of his eye caught his attention. Twisting his body around to look through the back window he felt his heart throb, his feelings shattering to pieces. Joy, desperation, and despair overwhelmed him. So many feelings suffocated him that he lost the ability to speak. Before he realized it, what he’d seen had become a speckle of dirt in his eye. 

 

“Stop,” his voice was an utmost whisper. 

 

“Stop.” 

 

“Stop!” 

 

The car halted to a stop and Kyuhyun struggled with the door lock before finally managing to unlock it. His long legs tossed themselves out of the car and he sped back down the road fighting the tears that were choking him up. However much dirt he kicked up with his feet and onto his clothes didn’t matter. What mattered most was what was in front of him. 

 

His thudding heart, his pounding ribs, his heavy breathing, had no one heard it at all? 

 

Finally stopping in front of the open gates he heard a dog whimper below him before it glanced up at him, its tongue striking out of its mouth. The girl crouching before it froze. The hands that had been running against its back so suddenly stopped. 

 

The long hair he once knew was no longer there, but he was certain he’d seen right. That face, that smile, those eyes, those lips…

 

Had she tensed up? Did he really have the right person? Why wasn’t she tilting her head up to look at him? 

 

The deepest of all desperation shook him to the bones but he couldn’t move. Why!? 

 

Kyuhyun watched her pull a smile on her face before she finally looked up. 

 

“Hi,” she slowly rose to her feet. 

 

His brain refused to transmit anything and he just stood there staring. Again he’d become a replica of a mannequin, one that couldn’t speak, move, nor feel. He’d become dumb again. Just frozen dumb. 

 

Jeju Island’s wind picked up and blew against them. The dog whimpered again and wagged its tail. 

 

A familiar emptiness, a formidable misery, the recognizable feelings of love drained him once more. Kyuhyun was so exhausted from fighting it all, from even trying to live that he just slumped down to the ground. Sobs wrecked his body throwing his chest back and forth, tiring his lungs of air, draining his nose of the calm breathing it once knew. And he cried away, he just cried for the longest time. 

 

“Excuse me,” a voice appeared from behind. “This young man left his luggage behind.” 

 

“I’ll get it,” she offered. 

 

Kyuhyun heard the door open and close, but couldn’t bring himself to look up. There was only silence that grew still in the air before she walked pass him and toward the run down shack behind her. 

 

Without a word, she set down a glass of water onto a small table between them. Eyes still burning and red from his earlier breakdown he also had no word to share with her. Grabbing the cup he drank all the water down in one gulp. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Seungyeon’s soft voice questioned. 

 

Kyuhyun sniffed. 

 

Her eyes slowly dropped toward the table with a small smile, “I’ve been here for a year now. I quit the job in Japan and went home for a while. I heard from my parents and friends that you stopped working, your life was a mess. Why’d you live like that?” 

 

The tears burst out again from deep within his heart and Kyuhyun ran a hand over his face in hopes that Seungyeon wouldn’t see him so pitifully. He sobbed again. How could he talk to her like this? Why had he come here like this? Why had he ran away so awfully? In such a state? 

 

Still, Seungyeon remained where she was. She wasn’t going to offer her condolences. Of course, why would she want to comfort him after all? When she first left? 

 

A quiet sigh was heard before he heard Seungyeon get up from her seat and head over to the small fridge. She pulled out two bottles of soju and when she returned, set them on the table. 

 

“Do you want one?” she asked while opening hers to drink away. 

 

He shakily removed his hands from his dripping wet fact and watched her gulp her bottle down. She let out a loud breath afterward and burped. 

 

“I learned that the best medicine for the heart, is alcohol.” Seungyeon said glancing at her bottle of soju with a smile. “I don’t know why I refused alcohol back then. Now it’s my best friend.” She turned to look at him with her large eyes. “You didn’t drink because I didn’t back then, huh? I don’t know if you’ve drank any these years, but if you haven’t, try it. It soothes the heart in an unexplainable way.” 

 

What was she talking about? Kyuhyun couldn’t understand. 

 

Then deciding that he’d just copy her, he took the bottle, unscrewed the cap off, and took a long gulp. It didn’t matter how much he was taking in nor how many times the voice at the back of his head told him that alcohol was bad, he drank away anyway. If it would help his heart, he’d have as much of it as possible. When he set the bottle down there was only a quarter of the alcohol left. At least he’d stopped crying, but his eyes still burned. The ease of the alcohol lifted his heart up somewhat and he forgot the burden he’d been carrying earlier. 

 

His eyes rose up from the ground to see Seungyeon slowly drinking away. 

 

“How are you?” Kyuhyun’s low voice asked. “You never wrote me. Or called. Or visited.” 

 

“Did you think I could?” Seungyeon questioned without looking at him then shook her empty bottle. 

 

She set it down and made her way toward the fridge again. This time she came back with four bottles. Setting them on them table she opened one for herself. 

 

“I couldn’t live,” she said a minute later. “Not like that. Not watching you and Ha Na go on like that. I only realized it too late. What am I supposed to say? Should I apologize for hurting? For falling apart just like you? Can you really say who it was that had it harder?” 

 

Seungyeon tilted her head to look at him. 

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, I hurt too.” 

 

He scrunched his hand up into a fist and grabbed his bottle drinking the rest of it. Setting it down onto the table with a loud clatter he reached for another. 

 

Seungyeon leaned against the large box behind her so that only her side was visible to him. 

 

A small smile overcame her face again before she drank a little of what was in her bottle, “Of ending up in the hospital 5 times over the course of one year, having drunk so much that you were late for the next day of work, and cutting yourself that you bled so much your neighbor had to carry you to the hospital on a bicycle. That’s a score, don’t you think? I didn’t know we’d be such terrible people, that I was so horrible. 

 

“If I said sorry, if I apologized, how much better would that make you feel? How much it would make me feel at ease? I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to because it wouldn’t help. Have you thought about it? If I came back to comfort you, how much that would have helped both of us?” 

 

Seungyeon laughed a little before taking another long sip of her alcohol. 

 

“They say the same person that comes back a second time, is never the same person you knew,” Seungyeon quietly said, her smile disappearing. “I wouldn’t be able to love you like that. Not like I wanted to give up everything for you. You wouldn’t be able to do that too.” 

 

“I never blamed you,” Kyuhyun set down his empty bottle. “The way I hurt, the misery I felt, the way things became…I never blamed you Seungyeon.” 

 

He couldn’t help it but the tears struck him once more. 

 

His chest throbbed up and down, “I never knew you were hurt. I never knew you were so pained over Ha Na. It was my fault…I’m sorry, Seungyeon. I hurt you…”

 

He sobbed again and dug his face into his arm leaning against the table. 

 

“I didn’t know…I couldn’t realize it. I’m so sorry…” 

 

Seungyeon wiped away the tear that had fallen and continued drinking away. 

 

“I didn’t point fingers at you, did I?” she quietly asked whisking the alcohol around in her bottle. “Don’t talk anymore. That’s why you’re like this.” 

 

While Kyuhyun tried to gather himself together, Seungyeon drank the rest of her bottle before gathering the empty ones and heading outside. She came back closing the door after her and returned to her spot. 

 

“Do you feel better now?” she questioned. 

 

Kyuhyun inhaled feeling himself shake. 

 

“I didn’t know it was Ha Na who sent that picture,” Kyuhyun uttered, “I didn’t know how that picture was taken. I told you, nothing happened.”

 

“Yea…” 

 

“I don’t like her that way. You know that, right?” 

 

“Yea…” Seungyeon turned her face away. 

 

“Then we’re clear on this, right?” 

 

Silence. 

 

“Yea…” a breathless whisper. 

 

“Then why does it still hurt?” his question came out as a whimper. “I missed you so much…” 

 

Seungyeon didn’t answer. 

 

“Didn’t you miss me too? Didn’t you at least miss me?” Kyuhyun begged. 

 

Seungyeon didn’t answer. 

 

“Seungyeon.”   

 

“Yea…” she finally said. “I missed you too.” 

 

Kyuhyun pulled away the table between them and half crawled over toward her. He could feel his body become weak, his mind dizzy, his eyesight fuzzy. Was the alcohol finally taking effect now? 

 

Leaning forward he gave her a peck on the neck, moved back, breathed against her skin, and decided it was safe to treat himself to more. He planted his lips on her jaw line, extended a hand forward to turn her face to meet his. Another peck on her kiss before he met with the lips he’d dreamed of the past 5 years. Kyuhyun kissed and kissed again before Seungyeon shoved her hands against him. 

 

“Stop it,” she refused. 

 

There was no helping it. He’d missed her. 

 

Grabbing her arms he threw her onto the ground and climbed over her attacking her neckline. 

 

“Kyuhyun! Kyuhyun!” she tried to push him off. 

 

He finally dropped against her without movement. 

 

He drew back his runny nose, “I love you so much. Han Seungyeon.” 

 

She closed her eyes and placed her hand on his shoulder before throwing the passed out Kyuhyun off. 

 

Something soft patted itself against his skin repeatedly before he his eyes to meet with the bright lights above. Heaven? Where was he? 

 

“Ahh…” he moaned. 

 

He sat up and the person immediately moved away. 

 

What a headache he had. It hurt so bad. 

 

Scrunching up his face he rubbed his hand against his eye before looking around at his unfamiliar surroundings. A large HD TV stood before him, gold brown walls surrounded him, and a large Chinese imported lamp sat on the bedside table. 

 

This wasn’t Seungyeon’s home…

 

“Sir, are you ok?” a voice beckoned. 

 

Kyuhyun turned to see a woman in a uniform beside him. 

 

“Where’s this?” 

 

“A Jeju Resort hotel.” 

 

“How did I get here? I was with a friend…” 

 

“Our CEO, Lee Jinki, picked you up from his girlfriend’s house.” 

 

His heart froze. 

 

“Girlfriend?” 

 

Kyuhyun’s eyes dropped to the ground in a daze. He thanked the woman and rose up from the bed. After gathering his belongings he grabbed his suitcase and headed back toward the airport. 

 

-----

 

Someone knocked on the door persistently. 

 

“Wait, wait!” Seungyeon called from the kitchen. 

 

Turning the faucet off she headed for the door and felt some kind of pitiful fear freeze her over. Ha Na stared back at her before bowing. 

 

“Can I come in?” Ha Na questioned. 

 

Seungyeon looked away from her but stood aside to let her in. Closing the door behind her, she brought over a glass of water for Ha Na before resorting to sit down herself. 

 

“How are you doing?” Seungyeon greeted. 

 

Ha Na smiled, “I’m pretty good.” 

 

She tilted her head to look around. 

 

“It’s a small place, but it’s a home at least.” Ha Na commented. 

 

Seungyeon slowly nodded. 

 

“I know you may not want to see me,” Ha Na started, “I’m sorry.”

 

Seungyeon felt the pace of her heart pick up. 

 

“I’m currently working on a landscape project in Jeju and passed on a ticket to my brother back home,” Ha Na explained, “I guessed he passed it onto Kyuhyun oppa’s parents and they left it for him. I heard he was at a resort yesterday.” 

 

Seungyeon didn’t lift her eyes up from the floor. 

 

“He left the resort but he’s still in Jeju,” Ha Na told. “I met him this afternoon along the road. He told me he’s leaving at 5. Before you lose the chance, you should go see him. Oppa has been living like a ghost for 5 years. I feel sorry seeing him like that.” 

 

Seungyeon didn’t want to hear the story again. She’d heard it over and over from her friends and from her parents. There was no need to make her feel more guilty. 

 

“Ha Na,” Seungyeon’s soft voice called. “I never hated you.” 

 

After Ha Na left, Seungyeon paced back and forth inside her home. She’d sent him away after he’d out. It was true she might not see him ever again. At least it’d be a friend of her to go and say goodbye, right? 

 

When Seungyeon reached the airport, it was packed. Would she see him in time? 

 

She ran toward the schedule board and stared at it. Kyuhyun hadn’t left yet. She could only hope he was in line checking out. Rushing toward it she paused and skimmed at the line of people. 

 

There he was. Kyuhyun was currently walking through the metal detector. If he would turn back before walking through the gate…

 

As if hearing her, Kyuhyun turned around and their eyes met for a brief moment. Seungyeon smiled and waved at him. She thought she saw him smile back before the security urged him forward. And that…was the last she saw of him. 

 

Seungyeon would have liked to ask him to remain her friend, but asking that of him was too selfish. It’d hurt him like how Ha Na had once hurt her. Kyuhyun wouldn’t reject the offer and that was what would hurt him more. 

 

It was better like this. 

---

***It's probably not the happy ending you guys wanted. But I'm not quite a er for happy endings myself. Not everything in this world ends happily. It's the reality we all face. So continue smiling anyway :) I'm kind of tired of and all those kissy scenes, so I didn't write it. 

 

---