To say it hurts was such an understatement that even my dog could since it. He was pacing around in front of me, whimpering and staring at me with those needy eyes. How could I leave such a innocent being to fend in the world by himself? Kris could do it why couldn't I?

He finally laid down against the bathtub, closing his old eyes and settling down for the time being. "You love me right?" But the dog didn't even move at my voice. The razor dug deeper into my arm and the warm blood dripped down to my elbow. It felt good.

It felt good to feel this kind of controlled pain. I can make this pain come and go at will unlike the pain in my heart. The hole in my chest getting bigger with each passing cut. "N-no one lo-loves m-me." I mumbled and laid on my side on the floor. Blood sticking to my hair but I didn't mind. I didn't fear the blood.

As the blade entered my arm again, an ear piercing scream echoed around teh bathroom. At this, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the dog pop its head up. It crawled towards me, whimpering and crying. "No!" I put my shakey, bloody hand out to stop him from getting any closer. "L-lay do-down!" And he listened.

"Th-this is what h-he wants." I tried to rationalize that this is what would make Kris happier. I would be out of his way, wouldn't hold him back anymore, or bring him down. His group wouldn't need to worry so much about my distracting him from practice. Kris wouldn't miss me, I knew that for sure.

My phone vibrated on the sink but it was left untouched. The faint buzzing noise sounded ten times louder in my ears. The room was getting duller too. I couldn't hold the blade anymore and it clattered to the floor. It wasn't hard to get enough blood to write on the wall.

I dipped my finger into the smaller puddle of blood and raised my hand to the wall. I barely got the 'Kr' in Kris drawn before my arm finally gave up. The world seemed better now that the pain was fading. Along with my slowing heartbeat, the tears finally dried up and stop.

The dog whimpered one last time and I shut my eyes. The burn creeping up my arms until they went numb. I'm even hallucinating being able to hear Kris outside.

 Kris

"Mu Ang!" I pushed the apartment door open, surprisingly it wasn't locked. "Mu Ang?" I yelled again but got no response. I recognized her dog's whimpering coming from the bathroom. "Are you in here?" But the bathroom door wouldn't open. It wasn't locked but something was blocking it from the inside.

"Mu Ang, open the door." And again I only recieved her dog's noises in return. "Please, I'm sorry. Just open the door and talk to me." The door still wouldn't budge.

I would regret it int he morning but I rammed my shoulder into the door. The wood creaked and popped open. I pushed the door and whatever was blocking it seemed to slid across the floor.

The first thing that came into view was the tanned fur of the dog. It was speckled with crimson red and he was hovering over something. When his head lifted up I saw what he was standing over. I hurriedly pushed the dog out of the room and shut the door. "Mu Ang!" I didn't touch her. I dind't want it to look like I did this to her.

"Mu Ang! Wha-why?!" The glint of the blade on the floor was staring me in the face, I kicked it off to the side more. "K-kr-kris?" It was so faint and so quiet I almost missed it. My arms reached out and cradled her into my lap. "Mu Ang I'm here." I grabbed her phone because it was closest. I dialed emergency services.

"Don't die on me!" I yelled as the line rang and rang until someone finally answered. "What's your emergency?" The irritating voice asked calmly. "I-I ne-need and ambulance." I muttered. "Sir, what is the emergency?" "M-my girlfirend is bl-bleeding." "Can I get the address?" I quickly recited the memorized address. "Someone will be there as soon as possible." The line went dead.

"Kr...is?" Her hand barely lifted then fell back against her stomach. "Mu Ang, please don't leave me." I was such a ing hyprocrite, I left her to begin with. 

"I-I...." It was silent again. Her beautiful black eyes were red and puffed out. "I'm so sorry!" I apologized, pulling her closer to my chest. "It's all my fault! I did this to you." I was sobbing way more than she was. She had a slight smile on her lips which I'd never understand. Her lips moved but no words came out.

"Mu Ang, their almsot here. Stay with me!" But her eyes slowly fluttered closed and her body was limp. "No!" I slapped her cheek softly but her head just lolled away from me. "N-no! You ca-can't do this!" I yelled but she wouldn't respond. I shook her and shoook her but still nothing changed. "Please~"

My voice cut off and I just hugged her tightly. I heard barking and talking in the apartment and the door was pushed open once again. "Let go of her, sir." But I refused to. "Sir, we have to check out the body." He sounded so smug, like she wasn't really that important. That's why I hated cops.

They forcefully dragged me away from her. They pulled me out into the hallway just as the others came running down the hall. "Wu Fan ge what the hell happened?" ZiTao asked as he was the first one to get to me. "Wh-whose blood is that?" Xiumin pointed to the crimson liquid covering my torso.

"M-Mu A-Ang's....." Silence was once again all I got. A cop wrapped a blanket over my shoulders and I covered my blood stained clothing. Lay dragged me into his arms, his hand supporting my back. It was a long painful silence for awhile after that. The sound of sobbing, from me and some of the other members, was the loudest thing it seemed.

The cops went about explainning that they were taking the body to the cit morgue, but it just didn't sink in. I'm sure one of my younger counterparts would pay attention for me. The dog was pulled out on a leash, covered in blood. He whined at me before being taken into the elevator. He'd go to a good home.

The squeaking wheels of the gurny came out of the apartment. The black body bag zipped toghtly shut to conceal what I had done. I might as well been stabbing her myself. It would have been quicker and probably less painful. I put the blade in her hand, I put it to her arm and I dug it into her milky skin.

It hurts.