No one want to be the last.

In everything.

Right?

Include me.

Sigh.

I thought it'll be different after our second showcase. I thought I'll gain more popularity. But it just the same. I always being the last. Maybe this is my way, not to become a singer, but just a 7-years-trainee-and-a-producer-who-write-songs-for-his-hoobaes.

Sigh.

Fans hate me. There's never be a gift for me. Since the first time Dongwoo and I met our fans in front of the company and get a lot of gifts from them, I never got one. Never. Till now. Even that punk Changmin always get even just one. Dongwoo two. Last time we check, he got five big boxes. Seungyeon, argh, don't ask. Hers never less then twenty. I'm the only one who got nothing. Me, Jang Taekwon.

Someone open the door of my room with Dongwoo. Tsk, did I already told that punk to leave me just for some hours? Why he get in though?

"Ya ya ya! Dongwoo-ya! I already said don't come in for a while, right? Can you just get out and leave me freaking alone now?"

I don't even want to face the door. I don't want someone see this depressed side of me. I always pretend to be tough. I always show them I am the almighty Jang Taekwon.

Then someone pat my shoulder. It's Kibum, not Dongwoo.

"Aish, Kibummie, why you are here? Just.... get out."

He say nothing.

"I mean, get out." I repeated in English.

He stay. He doesn't move even just an inch. He sit beside me.

"I got this watch from fan," Kibum starts to speak while showing me his freaking new watch.

"So?"

"What do you get?"

. This kid. "I--- uh, nothing. I just got a note book." I show him a note book which I buy yesterday, knowing time like this would happen.

He sighed. I can feel his eyes staring at me, while I can't stand my head. "I know you got nothing. You never get one."

"Wh---What? Of course I always get some gifts. Ahahaha silly Kibummie!"

"Don't lie to me."

Crap. I try to stand my head, facing his face. He's being serious like always but this time... too serious.

"Don't lie to me, Taekwon-ah. I know you always go out in the midnight to buy something pretend it was a gift from fans. I know you always get depressed--"

"I--I'm not depressed!"

"You called this not depressed? Then what?"

. Now I'm back staring the floor.

"Listen. If I become the one of those who replace the current M2 members, I'll out."

This kid must be crazy. "Ya, Park Kibum! Are you crazy? Then why you're here if you'll out in the end?"

"I do want to perform. But," He paused and take a sigh.

"But.....?"

"You are the one who need this the most. I can't even imagine I keep my dream for 7 years like you did. You are the most hard worker among us. You write songs for us. Fans must be crazy for not chosing you."

"Park Kibum, what do you mean, huh? Can't you see, fans hate me! Like you said, yes, I never get one gift, at all! Even I always the one who standby in the front of the company, picking all those boxes, hoping there's one for me...." . I can feel a tear falls from my left eye.

"That's why. I'll out. Then I'll ask CEO Jang and Team Leader Han to give my position to you. You're talented. Much way better than me. M2 needs a people like you, not me. People must see how wonderful you are. You said fans hate you? Then you'll make them love you."

And I cry like a baby. Hell yeah, in front of a punk named Park Kibum.

***

I stand in front of the company on early morning like always, waiting for the fans who want to give us some gifts. This time, I'm alone. Dongwoo choose sleep than accompany here.

Feel kinda tired, because crying last night (and I still can't believe I do that. Sigh.), I sat and hug my knees. My mind keep replaying what Kibum said. This is the first time someone cared me so much, make me hard to believe.

"Taekwon oppa.... right?" I can hear a girl calling out my name. I stand up and find a high school girl standing in front of me, hugging a huge teddy bear. You can say the teddy is bigger than her.

I force a smile. "Yes! You must be Seungyeon's fan, right? You want to give him a present? Pass it to me then!"

She shook her head. "Nope. I'm here because...." Then she give that huge teddy bear to me. "I'm here to give you this."

What? What did she just say? "F--for me? This is for me?"

She nod.

"Not for Seungyeon or the other boys, but for me?" Seriously, is this true? I got a gift? From a fan? SERIOUSLY?

She nod again. "Actually, I want to give you a present since the first time I hear your song. I really like the songs you write. Perfect. Then when I see you became a part of M2 Junior, I thought, maybe this is the time for me to say thank you to you. Your songs really complete my days. And I wish you sing what you write, with your voice. That'll be wonderful." She smiles.

She... knows I wrote some songs? Oh my God.

"I always see you're here at this time, sitting like this. Finally, I can drag my feet to walk here, to meet you. Silly me!" Her laugh makes me laugh too. I really don't know how to thank her for this.

"Th--"

"Ah, I need to go now. I late for school. Bye oppa! Fighting with M2 Junior. I know you can!"

She left me. Just like that.

But...

I have a fan.

I got a present.

"Then you'll make them love you." Damn you, Park Kibum! Yeah, I'm going to make people love me because of my talent!

I never felt this happy in my life.