specially written for kiss_xander23 & to all my readers out there <3
sit back, relax and enjoy.

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even if it means giving me criticisms TT~TT

a happy manufacturer  receiving comments manufactures more quality love~ <3

this spins off the delivery of yong junhyung.
love vending machine,
begins manufacturing now.

♪ BEAST- Beautiful

Beautiful my girl
My beautiful my girl and I
So beautiful my girl
In the cube
Ha ha girl
This is my confession
Drop that beat

Oh listen to my heart
Listen to my heart
Even though no words can describe you

I will let you listen to my heart through my own style
oh listen listen listen girl

Nothing better than you
If someone offfers me the world
You you you you
I can’t trade it for you

Hey baby girl everyday is so fun
Honestly I’m a bit scared, but no matter what anyone says,
I want

So beautiful my girl
Oh oh girl oh oh girl
Even if time goes by
Compared to anyone else in the world
I will cherish you my girl I will give you my all
You U To you U
To oh oh

I can run to anywhere you are
I always think about you

Even more than now
I will love you more my girl
You you you my girl

U oh beautiful U so beautiful
U my beautiful
Nothing better than you
Oh beautiful U so beautiful
U my beautiful

Don't be shy girl

When you are having hard times, anytime I'll be there
Come to me anytime and come into my arms

Just close your eyes and listen to my words
Oh listen listen listen girl

I’m the one who wouldn’t regret
Using 24 hours in a day just for you
Just take my hand and fly

I can run to anywhere you are
I always think about you

Even more than now
I will love you more my girl
You you you my girl

Make a love baby Just make a love
Feeling in my heart
So nice

Even though you are far away I can feel you
I'm always dreaming about you
Even more than now

I was stretching and doing a split while looking at myself through the full length mirror of the dance practice room.
while doing the split,
I remember how our instructor unnie just told me today that,
"jae hwa, I love your splits, but you might have to work a little more on your flexibilty. you might want to try the split a little longer."
I released my ponytail and re-tied my hair into a bun,
combing my fringe up with my fingers and also pulled my tank top a little down.

"lee jae hwa~"
I could hear his voice ringing through the corridors.
aish, I told him to tone down whenever we're in the office building.
no one knows of our relationship yet.
my older brother opened the door and popped his head in,
while wearing his signature thick black rims specs and a beanie on his head,
"lee jae hwa, aren't you going for dinner?" he asked.
"not yet oppa, I'm not done with dance practice today. I promised instuctor unnie I'd work hard on my splits." I pouted and turned to the door.
"aren't your splits already perfectly alright? they look perfect to me!" he nodded with much assurance and patted my head.
"nope I still don't think they are, I really have to work on it, you can get going first. and you'd better go in case your friends wondered where you went!" I stood up and shoved him to the door, ignoring his rants.
then, when he's finally walked off,
I closed the door and began to walk back to the dance room mirror.
lee jae hwa, hwaiting!

the dim lights reflects a slim silhouette in the mirror, while I whizzed my legs soundlessly across the polished ivory brown boards, going through the dance moves I have already memorized.
I saw my dignified glances and took a deep breath.
dancing has always been that unique outlet that allows me to express my usual suppressed feelings.
I'm not that good with interpersonal and interaction know-hows,
but when I'm immensed in dancing,
its when I feel that I'm most myself.

just as I was immensed in 4Minute unnies' hit "I My Me Mine",
I heard a faint knock on the dance practice room's door.
"jae hwa~?" a male's voice could be heard.
"what oppa..? I told you really, go home first, I'd try to go home early tonight!" I raised my voice a little.
the door opened and I glanced to the door.
there he was.
standing in a poster-like fashion,
while leaning on the rim of the door.
"so, that's why you've been avoiding my calls, jae hwa-ah? you're even living together with that new guy, when I didn't even knew he existed before? so that's the problem between us?" he said dimly.
"yong junhyung! what're you doing here?" I said blankly while staring into the face of my boyfriend.
or at least,
soon to be ex-boyfriend.

"we're really over, like. just like this?" he asked, I could see the glimmer in his eyes.
"I really want to believe in you, but I've seen it for myself." I walked over to the radio and turned it off, then turned to the switches and click, off the lights went.
"I'm leaving, suit yourself if you want to stay here, I'm not stopping you." I continued coldy.
"jae hwa-ah, lee jae hwa.." he called out as I trodded past him, coat in my hand, and could hear the voice trailing off in the background as I walked off faster and faster.

when I entered the lift and pressed level one,
I could feel something warm rolling down my cheeks.
and I knew very well what it was.
at times like this,
its why I said dancing should suit me better,
to channel out my feelings.
letting these liquid flow out of my eyes makes me feel like a weakling,
and that it slaps harsh reality across my face,
that I'm not able to do anything to change the situation.
yong junhyung,
why did you have to come and mess with my peaceful dance practice when I promised myself to not think about you,
at least not during the span of this practice.
suddenly, I was able to recal vividly what I saw that day at the underground dance arena.
the very thing that tore my heart.

//flashback 1 week ago//

I stepped into the underground dance arena,
music was booming throught the speakers.
I walked through the flashy lights and looked at the DJ stand.
there, I saw doojoon oppa who was working as a part-time DJ and waved to him.
he returned the smile and his eyes began to search the crowd,
helping me look for junhyung.
when he failed to,
he gestured to me and mouthed the words,
"he's at the back with yoseob and dongwoon".
I gave him a quick nod and smiled.

as I walked to the back dancers preparation area,
I held tightly to the knitted scarf I made for him as I walked in a hurried pace.
he must be happy to see this,
afterall, his old one was ruined that day when he sheltered me from the fall when I almost fell into a mud puddle while it was raining on the way home.

"junhyung oppa.. you're the best to me. you'll not tell jaehwa about this right?" I heard an aegyo-ing female voice.
"if you dont want me to, I won't tell her!

I walked around the corner and saw haerin leaning on junhyung's arm, 
like how she always flirts with the guys.  
every other second she's getting some new actions and trying out some new flirting techniques she formulated. 
although she's my dance practice mate and sajangnim (CEO) said there's a possibility we'd debut together, 
I can't turn a blind eye this time round. 
no. 
not when she's hooking up on MY guy. 
 
I walked over and saw junhyung forcefully pushing her away, 
"haerin.." he signalled and haerin gave a little cough.
"ooh jae hwa you're here too! oppa and I were just talking about you~" 
there goes her high-pitched voice again.
just this time, 
I don't know why it irks me this much. 
"yea? sorry I disturbed your little making out session!" 
I sarcastically said and was enraged. 
the scene when I first saw them disturbed me alot. 
it kept replaying in my head. 
haerin lying aegyo-ly on junhyung's arm. 
and to make it worse,
there was even a secret between them. 
and yong junhyung.
he didn't push her away till I came. 
 
junhyung looked at me then turned to haerin and pointed at her, 
"jae hwa-ah. baby, you've misunderstood us! haerin wasn't up to anything!" he tried explaining. 
"yong junhyung, you don't baby me at times like this. oh yea.." I laughed, 
"it's not her that's up to anything, so it's you?! you just can't keep your hands off her?"
normally I wasn't this rash but this time around, 
I admit I jumped into the matter really quickly.
but all I could think at that point of time was haerin clinging onto my boyfriend,
and the bag in my hand,
and how unwelcome I must have been. 
 
"baby you're just.. over-reacting too much.. I.. you.." he stopped. 
"I'm unreasonable? irritating? not understanding? and you're sick of a me that's like this? yea I think of myself this way too." 
I attempted to help him finish his sentence for him and turned around to walk away. 
but before this, 
I threw the bag right into his face, 
though I missed my aim,
at least I got my point carried across. 
"you can use this as some rug or whatever. not like I'd care anymore." 
I literally spat my words across the room. 
 
when I walked off, 
many hot streaks rolled down my face.
I stretched my hand to wipe it away. 
darn those liquid. 
then the phone lying in my coat vibrated, 
I took it up and it read "Kwang oppa" from the caller id. 
before I answered, 
I cleared my throat and paused in my tracks. 
"yeobseyo.." I stuttered and the hot flush wouldn't stop. 
oppa why am I hurting so much inside. 
"my beloved dongsaeng, where you wanna go I'm let off from practice today!" he chirped. 
"I.. oppa let's go drinking. and then home, okay?" I choked on my words. 
"sure! on me! what's wrong baby girl! you have to tell oppa later!" 
his tone wasn't as cheerful and I could hear he was switching his tone to fit my mood. 
"ne.. see you." I said and pressed the end call button. 
at times like this, 
how I wish oppa was beside me. 
I wiped my tears again. 
 
a cough sounded behind me. 
I turned around and junhyung stood there, staring at me with those eyes. 
those eyes that seemed to spell anger whenever he was unhappy. 
"I knew it. you don't normally jump to conclusions easily. you've got yourself a new oppa? ha.." 

I turned around stunned.
he does not mean that I'm..?
"I'd love to see that guy then.. his charms for making us.. like this.."
he was being sarcastic.
another slash was inflicted upon my already wounded heart.
whatever..
whatever you want to think yong junhyung..
he walked forth and attempted to stop me in my tracks,
grabbing me on my arm.
he did apply a bit more pressure than how he'd hold me normally.
it was as if through his force and in his way,
he was trying to tell me not to go,
just that what came out of his mouth was the contrary.

I shook his hand off violently and did not want him to catch me shaking and trembling so hard.
"let..me..go." I said coldly.
"argh".. he held on to his arm.
it was then the first time during the whole of the day did I realise that his elbow was wrapped in a cast.
I so much wanted to ask him what happened to his hand but something stopped me.
"whatever, I think we both need to cool down for the time being.. even if it means you going to him."

he did not put on resistance and I walked away.

with the tears in my eyes,
ruffled thoughts and flashbacks in my head.
and mostly,
an inexplicable pain in my heart.
he does not have trust in me,
especially when I caught him in the first place.

I registered this firmly in my head.

//flashback ends//

one day later..

junhyung's pov

I was seated at a bar counter in the clubbing districts and what happened today in the dance arena just can't click into my brain.
jaehwa,
and lee kikwang.
so he's the one.
downed the shot of vodka.
tasting more bitter than ever.

earlier in the day I texted jaehwa,
asking her to show up at the dance arena tonight.
I really wanted to clear the misunderstandings that are between us after my teammates' performance.
I can't just leave things dangling when we parted at the dance studio yesterday.
it just isn't right.
I love her so much,
there was NOTHING between jung haerin and I.
I didn't get to explain,
and I need to!

but when I saw kikwang,
it seems like all urge to clear anything didn't seem necessary after all.

jaehwa did appear,
to my surprise.
I was so happy to see her small frame present in front of the audiences.
but she was not alone,
with kikwang.
lee kikwang.. my dance arena rival.
when it was my teammates'  (yoseob and dongwoon) turn,
I signalled to jaehwa and gave her a wave.
and she just.. looked away.

throughout their dance,
I was trying so hard to catch her attention.
I was standing on the opposite side of the crowd,
directly opposite her.
and yet,
she was chatting intimately with lee kikwang,
they were whispering into each other's ears.

when it was kikwang's turn to dance,
jaehwa cheered for him loudly,
she looked so happy,
so different from the pain i've brought to her for the past week,
and especially so different from yesterday.
throughout the performance,
they were exchanges eye contacts and it man,
it did make kikwang smile and his dance moves were more confident than ever.
when he ended with a bang,
he ran up to jaehwa and caught her in a tight embrace.
jaehwa didn't seem to push him away,
she even glowed from it.
she was. happily. hugging him.
then he broke from the embrace and walked up to the DJ stand where doojoon hyung was and requested for the mic.
"the performance today is for my baby jaehwa. oppa loves you!!"
she chuckled and the crowd roared.

she never turned up whenever kikwang had a performance.
but she did today.
maybe yong junhyung,
just admit that both of you are over..
just let her be and let her go.
if it spells happiness for her,
if lee kikwang makes her this happy.
why not.

"bartender, one more shot of vodka." I called out.
my drink was slid down the bar-counter in a matter of minutes after my order.
just when I was about to catch it and down it like water again,
someone caught my drink before I did.
"drinking alone eh?"
boy oh boy, the high and mighty lee kikwang.
"I didn't remember treating you to a drink did I, lee kikwang.."
"hmm, not really, but maybe you'll give me a treat after I tell you what I have to tell you."
"yes, you and your romantic lovey-dovey experiences with my girlfriend? dude, I'm not interested."
I stood up and attempted to leave my seat.
what a mood-dampener,
though not like my mood was any better when he wasn't here.

"hey hey hey, where you think you're going?"
he stood up with me and grabbed my collar,
then pushed me back to my seat.
"if you're going to tell me about you and jaehwa, I'm not interested." I replied coldly.
"if you're going to miss what I have to say, you're going to regret it. for life." he replied in a sing-song voice.
ugh I let off an unwilling groan and prepared myself for what he wants to say.
"shoot. you'd better not be wasting my time."

"jerk."
HUH I looked to kikwang in shock.
that's all this guy has to say?
"I haven't finished," he answered my doubts and continued,
"so all the while my dongsaeng has been dating a jerk like you? who doesn't even have the simple trust in their relationship and only knows how to drown her in tears. sighs jaehwa ah, no wonder you've been returning home with red eyes.."
he said while looking at the ceiling above him.
I felt the urge to stand up and pull him by the collar and interrogate him and hit him or something but..
WAIT.
WHAT DID HE JUST SAY.
lee kikwang. lee... jaehwa...
I registered these two names and tried to find a similarity.
"wait wait wait... so you're not jaehwa's new guy? you're her.."
"oppa, junhyung -- hyung.." he added in the hyung forcefully.

I've hurt my jaehwa, my girl..

end of junhyung's pov

______

I was preparing to go sleep that night and changed into my pyjamas and decided to head to the kitchen for a glass of milk.
insomnia again..
yong junhyung I'm trying so hard to get over you..
its been a week and what hasn't changed is that I'm as weak as ever.
I knocked unto the door of my elder brother,
wondering if he needs a glass of milk too.
"kikwang oppa.. lee.. ki.. kwang~" I opened his room door a little to peep in, but found no one.
this is weird,
he's hardly out till this late.
I shrugged and walked to the kitchen.
when I reached the dining table,
i saw my charging mobile phone light up with a message.

the sender was a familiar name.

from: junhyunggie <3
baby, we've simply had too much misunderstandings.
I'm so foolish to have let your hands go,
to have made you cry,
to not even care to explain more,
to have hurt you.
will you give me.. just one more chance, and that's all I ask for.
our two years together,
it matters the world to me,
and given this chance,
I'm never going to let my world go again.

to: junhyunggie <3
what else do we have to say？

I hardened my heart to type something that was against my own will.

from: junhyunggie <3
we have just so many things to say.
just hear me out jaehwa,
I promise I won't waste your time.

to: junhyunggie <3
where, when, what time?

from: junhyunggie <3
thank you jaehwa-ah!
um, tomorrow? :)
5pm at the old place.

I know he means the underground dance arena.

______

I stepped into the place which caused me a heart-ache.
and either I'm going to mend my heart today,
or I'm just going to let it slip away from myself.

I saw junhyung standing uneasily at a corner,
fumbling with his shirt and hair.
he cut his hair.
it was a nice black color and it looks short and neat now.
when he saw me through the doors,
he waved and a smile plastered across his face.
these gentle looks,
are were what I loved.

he walked up to me in a hurry,
"can we find somewhere quiet to talk?"
I simply nodded.

he took me to a corner and began telling me how I misunderstood haerin and him that day.
haerin was looked for by the secret triads for her father's gambling debt and junhyung happened to be there to shield her from a table that they were going to smash onto her.
with his arms.
and haerin did try to hit on junhyung after that,
trying to get him not to tell me about it.
"I figured you'd worry for me,
so without much thoughts,
I agreed to help her keep it a secret.
mianhae jaehwa-ah,
I should've known better to keep this from my girlfriend."

by then,
tears were already rolling around in my eye.
"so what about me and kikwang oppa.. I.. you.. he.."
"I know! I know all of it! he's your older brother! I was such a jerk to misunderstnad you jaehwa!"
he said and attempted to hit himself.
"don't.." I caught his arm, "you just got hurt last week. I don't want you to hurt yourself again.."
I mumbled.
"thank you jaehwa..!" he looked into my eyes, cubbing my face gently.
"so am I forgiven?" he asked.
I nodded and pulled him in for a hug.
how I missed his embraces!
he kissed the top of my head,
"my beautiful girl, I'm never letting you go again."

"I'll never too.." I smiled into his hug.
"but you have to do today's perfomance for me!" I laughed, "promise you'll dance to beautiful. with seobbie and woonnie!"
"yes madam your wishes are my command!" he said and saluted to me as I pinched his nose.

junhyung, I'll never let you go too.
forever.

END.

comments are welcomed.
I love all of you who're taking time to read! I really really do.. <333

love vending machine stops manifacturing temporarily for the day.
XOXO,
rinchyeon/rinnie

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