마스크 Mask

He never takes off his mask. “Minho…”

And then, I always wake up.

In the night when I'm curled up under my blankets, that strange dream always takes over my sleep. It’s not a nightmare, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant either. I always saw the same guy, his face mysteriously covered by a white mask. Who are you, I would ask.

But he never replies. He never does.

But he says it all the time, “you know I love you.”

I thought Key hyung should know something. He knows everything.

“Who is Minho?”

He chokes. “W-what?”

I fiddle with a photograph he has on the table in the living room. His eyes warily glance at it. I look at it one more time, to only see Key hyung and myself. And another boy, folding his arms in the back of the picture. He has pretty doe like eyes, I love them.

“Give that back,” he shrieks softly and snatches the crumpled photo away from me. I still can see it. Where has the boy with pretty eyes gone to? It’s gone. Not exactly, it’s just blurry.

Where is he?

Maybe Onew hyung knows something!

“Who is Minho?”

He glares at me. Then he clutches my shoulders tightly. “Taemin.”

“What is it, hyung?” I blink in confusion. He loosens his grip and takes a sip from his coffee. I know something’s going on hyung. I’m not the dumbest person in the world.

“You and Key hyung have something to tell me,” I say, determined.

“Even if we did, you wouldn’t know,” he speaks calmly.

“Who are you?” I demand. I’m back in the same dream again, where his mask is still on.

I feel him smirk. This time, he walks closer to me and I realize that he’s inches taller than me. His cold fingers lightly caress my cheek, oh so lovingly.

“Why do I feel…” I cannot continue.

He says something different, finally. “You love me, Taemin. Like I love you. Don‘t you just love me… My eyes.”

Jonghyun hyung knows. He knows. They all know, and they never want to tell me!

“Hyung, who is Minho?”

He freezes, eyes staring at me with fear. “Y-You… No, him… I knew there was something wrong his eyes!!!”

“What are you talking about?” My eyebrows furrow together. I know I’m getting somewhere.

He pushes me away and holds a knife to me. “Don’t come near me.”

I look at him in horror, as he cries, screams to himself. “H-hyung.”

I wake up early in the morning, to steal that piece of photograph away from Key hyung. That’s the sole purpose of my sleep over. That’s the only reason.

I run home to look at the photo again. The boy is back there. He looks so familiar.

‘Don’t you just love me… My eyes.’

“I still don’t know you.”

He goes further this time. I gasp as he lifts his mask a little, to reveal his reddish, plump lips. So addictive…

“Let me taste you,” I whisper unconsciously as I lean forward.

He presses his soft lips against mine and smirks as he senses my eagerness. “You loved me, so much. But they don’t want me near you.”

“Loved?”

“I don’t think you love me now,” he murmurs, kissing me again. I don’t know, I can’t say. I think I love you, but I can’t.

I still need to know more.

The photograph.

The boy’s lips, they resemble Minho’s. Key hyung must know him. In fact, they all have suspicious reactions to my question.

“They know,” someone whispers. I don’t need to think twice, to know who that is.

“Minho.”

“You three know something.”

“That’s… I-”

“Jonghyun,” I look at him. He almost stops breathing. Key watches me cautiously, then at Jonghyun. “Hyung knows something, doesn’t he?”

“Kibum, Jinki hyung, that-that doctor!” He gasps, retreating to the very back of his seat.

“No, it’s alright, Jonghyun,” Onew wraps his arms around my hyung.

“N-No, he’ll… He’ll…” He screams, clutching his head.

I don’t know what’s happening. What have I done? Key glares at me. “I’ll tell you who that is.”

“No, please no!” Jonghyun begs.

“He’s your brother.”

“My brother?”

Minho only nods. “Minnie, I think, that’s not enough.”

“Minho hyung…”

He kisses me. “There’s something more… You need it, you need it to remember. You need to know that you love me.”

“I think I have already fallen for you.”

“Not enough,” Minho says softly, kissing me again.

Jonghyun is staying over at Onew’s. Since he’s so afraid, he must know something.

He has something.

I break into his room, when his parents are out. I look around his drawers for something. Just something!

Then I have it. A yellowish news article. “Hmmm?”

I read it, pleased that I have found something.

So that was it.

“Hmmm,” his fingers rest on my waist.

“Can I?” I want to lift off that mask. I want to see his face.

“You may,” I ripped it away form his face and threw it somewhere across the vast, white space. There he is, so mesmerizing. The lips… Especially his eyes, the ones in the photograph. He’s my brother that I loved till insanity. I loved him like no other.

“Can this dream not end?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hyung,” I use my pout and he kisses me gently. Comforting. I don’t see why Jonghyun is so afraid.

It’s his fault anyway, for trying to take me away from my brother.

I remember it all. How Minho died in that crash, how I used to love him so endlessly (even now). How I was on the verge of insanity, or, I was already insane.

They, my hyungs, tried to get me away from Minho hyung’s room.

How dare they try to take me away.

I tried to kill them, and they had to bring me to the doctor, to wipe out my memories.

They must know, that it wouldn’t do any good. Now that I remember it all. Poor hyungs, they’ve tried so hard…

Jonghyun remembers it, five years ago. This is the very same situation.

Onew’s not around anymore. He’s dead, dead in the house. Because when Jonghyun screams, feeling himself being stabbed all over again (not just once anymore), no one comes for him.

Key must be dead too.

Minho… If he was never born, Taemin would be fine, not weird. He wouldn’t be madly in love with his brother, especially his face.

Minho’s face. The one that captivated Taemin from the very start. Those eyes, that draw him in…

The pain was worth it, all done to be with Minho hyung.

“I really do love you,” I whisper into his ear. Now I can see him everyday, every night, and the next again.

We’re back in our old room. Where he carries me to his old bed. “I love you too.”

“And you’re mine, forever. No one can take me away from you again.”

I stare into his eyes, and kiss his cheeks. He's mine... Once again.

Seems like there’s nothing you can do to prevent this, Jonghyun.

You… You were the only one who realized that I possessed the doctor, too late though.

The medicine would never clear his memories away.

He should have never told you about how he loved me. I knew how you hated things like these.