She didn’t like her life.

She didn’t hate it either.

She was just not interested. Nothing ever changed. Life was just a never-ending circle, a boring routine. University, studying, hanging out with friends, eating then sleeping and the next morning the exact same thing all over again. Her life had nothing new or exciting to offer.

Jessica was studying to be a lawyer, like her father. Her parents were always so proud of her, the best student in her school, student body president, popular with the other students, polite, sweet, pretty, caring, the perfect daughter. That’s who she was to her parents and everyone else. She herself wasn’t sure about who she was or what she wanted to do with her life.

In reality everything she had achieved was for other people’s shake. Even her sweet and caring personality lately had started to make her feel sick – it felt so fake and unnatural.

Jessica had long since she realized that nobody was good-natured, sweet or loving. Everyone was cruel and selfish. It’s just that some were better at hiding their true personality than others.  

As she was walking down the street she looked around her and wondered how many of the couples holding hands had cheated or lied, how many of those children playing along the road would be there for each other. She wanted to stop thinking like that but she couldn’t. Not when everyone she had met was like that.

Her university, in a city ideally situated by the sea, was filled with backstabbing sharks, ready to attack their “best friends” if they got in their way. Her parents would do anything to be part of the upper class, even forget about their only daughter’s wants and needs.

There was only one exception. There was only one person that made Jessica feel warm inside. They had never met, not officially at least, and she probably didn’t even know that Jessica existed, but Jessica had been watching her for weeks.

The first time she saw her was while walking back home from university.

 She had taken the road that was passing by the sea as to avoid walking with a few of her classmates who lived near her. The beach was quiet, the sand shining under the sun. There were a few trees here and there providing shadow to the tired passersby.

Under one of those trees, sitting on the sand with a book on her hand, she was looking towards the horizon. Jessica was not sure what was that caught her attention. Sure she was a beautiful woman, with soft brown hair framing her face making her look very delicate. Maybe it was her expression – soft and filled with sorrow, yet unbelievably calm. She was sad but there were no traces of tears in her eyes.

The feeling she was giving off reminded Jessica of a rainy autumn day when all you want to do is stay in bed and listen to the raindrops hitting the window.

She was sitting there the next day as well, and the next and every day after that. Jessica was now always walking home from that road just so she could she her. Sometimes she would sit in a small coffee shop right across the street and stare at her for hours.

The young woman (Jessica had come to the conclusion that they were about the same age judging from her appearance) was always sitting under the same tree with that book on her hand. Only she was never actually reading the book, she was just holding it, sometimes gazing at its cover or flipping absentmindedly through the pages.

Jessica had come to care about her; to cherish those moments spent watching her. At first she felt like a stalker but soon the warm feelings that started to develop inside her wiped away all of her reservations. After a week she found herself constantly thinking about her, wanting to talk to her, hold her and protect her.

She would talk to her, she just had to go up to her and introduce herself.

“Hi my name is Jessica, I often see you sitting here on my way home.” That’s all she had to say – just a few, simple words.

But she could never bring herself to actually do it. Just at the thought of looking into her eyes she felt nervous, her heart started beating frantically and her palms became sweaty. So she just kept on watching her from afar.

Spring came soon and the weather became warmer. One day Jessica was late coming back, and it was raining so she didn’t hope to see the beautiful stranger today.

To her surprise she was at the beach. She wasn’t sitting under the tree anymore though. Now she was standing right in front of the sea, letting the waves hit her bare legs while gently caressing the cover of her book.

Jessica panicked. She didn’t know why but suddenly she felt like if she didn’t approach her at that moment she would lose her forever. She acted without thinking. She dropped her bag and started running towards her just as she started walking in the sea.

Jessica was only a few meters away from her when she turned around and looked straight into Jessica’s eyes. She had stopped walking and Jessica slowly stopped as well. They were just standing there, looking at each other without speaking. The rain had become heavier and they were both drenched but neither cared.

Jessica felt dry. She had played this scene in her head countless times, she had thought of exactly what to say and now that she had the chance to she couldn’t.

“Can I help you with something?” the other asked her.

That made Jessica come back to her senses and gather all her courage.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that you looked like you were about to…” her sentence was left unfinished as the other looked at her surprised.

“Oh my God, you thought that I was about to drown myself? No, no, I would never do that, I was just… just…” she suddenly became nervous; her voice broke before tears started falling from her eyes.

Jessica noticed that she was now clutching the book in her chest desperately.

“Is this book important to you?” she asked without thinking.

The young woman looked at her surprised before lowering her head and nodding in silence.

Jessica wanted to hug her and calm her down but she knew it would be too weird and awkward since they were practically strangers. Instead she asked what exactly she was trying to do going in the sea when the weather is like that.

She lifted her head slightly and murmured something that Jessica couldn’t understand so she had to repeat it.

“I just… I just wanted to get rid of the book”

“The book? I thought you said that it was important to you, why would you want to get rid of it? And why the sea instead of just throwing it away?”

“It is important to me. I mean, it’s a gift from my father. We used to come here and he would read stories from these to me. But now he… he died and I know that that’s life but I can’t get over it. I have to let it go, let him go. I can’t cling onto his memory forever and stop my life. So I thought that because the book is too precious to throw away maybe saying goodbye in a symbolic way… throwing it into the sea… it would be more… more appropriate… But it’s not easy, I don’t want to let go, I don’t want to… and I don’t even know why I’m saying all these things to you, I just met you, I don’t even know your name.”

By this point she was sobbing and Jessica could barely make out what she was saying. Suddenly she realized that unless they got out of the rain right now they would both end up sick.

“Jessica, my name is Jessica. Come on the rain is not going to stop any time soon and we’re both wet to the bone. My apartment is close by, you can dry yourself there and I’ll lend you some clothes.” She grabbed her hand softly and led her towards her house.

The other just nodded once and obediently followed. Soon they were sitting in Jessica’s apartment, both in dry clothes with cups of warm tea in front of them.

Jessica didn’t know what to say. They were sitting in an awkward silence that neither seemed ready to break – Jessica certainly wasn’t.

“Tiffany” said the other suddenly.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I know your name so I thought you should know mine as well. It’s Tiffany.”

“Oh, well it’s very nice to meet you Tiffany” Jessica smiled at her. “So, about what you said at the beach…”

“Actually I’d rather not talk about it if you don’t mind.”

“I understand that you don’t feel comfortable discussing such a personal topic with someone you’ve just met but…”

“Has someone you loved ever died?” Tiffany suddenly asked.

Jessica took a moment to consider her question. The first thing that came to her mind was her grandmother. The only person in her life that Jessica had ever felt attached to, the only person that she thought she had ever really loved.

“Yes” she said simply.

“Does it ever stop? The pain?”

“No. It never stops. It’s just that one day you wake up and it hurts less. And then the next day even less until you learn to live with it. It’s like you have a box locked away on your drawer. There are times when you forget about it completely but you know it’s always there.”

Tiffany just looked at her before picking up her cup and drinking a sip.

“You said that you want to let go, that you have to, but really you don’t have to – you shouldn’t actually. Remember you father for all of the happy memories you made together. Don’t throw away the storybook, it’s something that connects you two.”

Tiffany silently agreed with her. She looked at Jessica and then her eyes moved on the book.

“You know there is a story we never had the chance to read. I don’t even know why. Did we forget, did we never reach that page of the book?”

“Didn’t you read it by yourself? It might make you feel better. You know, like this part of your life is complete.”

“I want to, but I don’t want to do it alone.”

Jessica felt her heart skip a beat. Should she ask? Is it okay to ask her?

“Do you want me to read it to you?” she finally said before she could stop herself.

Tiffany looked at her and smiled. Oh her smile was so sweet. She looked so beautiful when she smiled. Jessica thought that she would do anything to be able to see this smile every day.

“That’s so sweet of you. Yes I would like that.”

Jessica made a move to pick up the old book but Tiffany stopped her by placing her hand on Jessica’s.

“Not now. Please. Let’s meet at the beach tomorrow when the weather will be better. We should read the story there.”

Jessica felt blood rush to her face. “Yes, I think that would be a fitting ending”

Tiffany smiled once more before sitting back in her sit.

They continued to talk after that about various subjects. Jessica felt utterly happy.

Tiffany seemed much more cheerful as well. Maybe she just needed someone to listen to her.

Later, when Tiffany was walking back to her house she looked to the sky. “A fitting ending indeed. Did you send her? Did you know I was going to be lonely?” she whispered to the shadows. She brought her hand above her heart in a silent prayer.

“Thank you for everything. I love you, you know that right?”

She finally felt at peace, like she was ready to say goodbye. After all this time she was ready for a new beginning.

“Jessica… so I guess this story was left for the two of us.”

~ ~ ~

Thank you for reading. This is actually my first fanfic so I'm not  very confident. Reviews and comments are always welcome. Tell me what I need to improve (dialogue obviously. They feel kind of unnatural right?)