After hearing their conversation, I hastily ran into my room and quickly, but quietly, closed the door behind me. I slid down the floor and clutched on to my stomach. I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. I knew that only one thing would really fix the problem. Only one thing that would finally bring the happiness to Baekhyun that he's been waiting ever so patiently for. I needed to remember. I needed so badly to fill the empty holes in my mind. But it was obvious to me that remembering him probably wasn't going to happen. I wish I had the courage to try and dig deep into my mind and remember him, but I was terrified of the excruciating pain I went through last time I tried. And if I couldn't remember, the only thing left to do was to pretend to remember. It was the least I could do for someone that was willing to stay with someone that didn't even remember him. 

I immediately stood up from my crouched position and retrieved my diary. It was stealthily taped underneath my desk, so I still had no idea how my mom found it, but that's beside the point. I tossed it onto my bed as I lowered down and reached for the bin of photoalbums hidden underneath my bed and placed them on my bed as well. Also underneath my bed was an unfamiliar box. I pulled it out, opened it, and examined the contents. It seemed to be a box of little trinkets and love letters all from Baekhyun. With a sigh, I also placed it atop my bed. 

I grabbed an empty notebook on my desk and a pen. The only way to try and cram all of these things into my mind was by writing them all down. I took a deep breath and stared down at everything. My diary was probably longer than a lengthy novel and there were five photo albums all bursting with pictures. If I was lucky, it would only take me the whole night to thoroughly go through everything. I shook off any of my disinclination, climbed onto my bed, and turned to the very first page in my diary.

I first wrote in it when I was in third grade. My handwriting was terrible, probably because my arm was broken, and my grammar definitely wasn't at its best. The elementary years were really easy to read through though. Everything was simple and I managed to find most of the things I was talking about in the photo albums. I just took down a few notes that Baekhyun and I didn't get along that much in elementary school and took down the rather harsh names he would call me. 

The middle school years weren't too complicated to go through either. I was still chubby and unattractive, but Baekhyun decided that we would be best friends. I read something about a friendship bracelet we got each other for Christmas and I saw it on our wrists in the photos. I realized that I was actually wearing it earlier in the day. I glanced at my wrist and noticed its absence, but then I remembered leaving it on the bathroom counter before I showered. I quickly rushed out of my room and into the bathroom to grab it, but on my way out I bumped into Sehun. 

He looked down at me questioningly and asked, "What on earth are you doing?" 

"Nothing," I said quickly, trying to return to my room. 

He rolled his eyes. "Every time you say 'nothing', it always means you're up to something."

"Nothing's going on, Sehun. Now, go back into your cave and leave me alone," I said, standing in front of my door.

"Getting defensive, are we?" He pushed me aside and opened my door. I mentally scolded myself for being so obvious as I followed him into my room. "What exactly are you doing?" he asked, looking down at the mess spread across my bed. He picked up my notebook and scanned through it. "I thought the doctor told you that you shouldn't try to remember what you can't." 

I sighed. "I'm not trying to remember, Sehun. I'm trying to learn." 

He lifted his eyes from the notebook and stared at me. "What? You're trying to learn your life? I don't get it," he said placing the notebook back down. 

I should have just told Sehun that I was just doing it for no reason, but I was never fond of lying to him. He always had a way of finding out the truth anyway. "I heard your conversation with Baekhyun earlier. He's unhappy because I can't remember him, right? The only way he can be happy is if I 'remember'..." 

His eyes widened. "So you're going to lie to him? Are you out of your mind? I just talked him out of breaking up with you. Don't give him a reason to actually do it," he said with a serious tone.

"I just want him to be happy," I quietly choked out.

"Do you think he's going to be happy when he finds out that you were lying to him? That you don't actually remember him?"

"He's not going to find out," I said firmly.

"Let's hope not," he said, brushing past me and walking out of my room as I stood there dumbfounded.

I stared down at the mess on my bed. I was having second thoughts of following through with my plan. I glanced out my window and saw Baekhyun's lights go off. It was for him. It was all for him. I may not have been in love with him at the moment, but it was obvious that I was at some point in my life. If I couldn't fall in love with him right away, the only thing I could do was pretend to remember and convince him that I love him. Even if I was faking it. 

I situated myself back into the mess on my bed and returned to where I left off: high school. I already knew this was going to be the hardest part of it all. No one is really ever able to completely understand their feelings in high school. How was I supposed to understand everything in one night? 

In 9th grade, I still had the same mentality of an unattractive girl with absolutely zero confidence. So it obviously took me by shock when everyone took notice of me. The guys all looked at me like I was a piece of meat and girls looked at me as if I was the devil. And Baekhyun was there to protect me through it all. Only until Yongguk came around though. 

I don't know why I allowed myself to fall so deeply in love with Yongguk. He wasn't exactly the best boyfriend in the world. But then again, who was I to judge? He was my first boyfriend. That was probably why I was so crushed when I saw him cheating on me. Usually first relationships end rather smoothly without anyone's feelings getting hurt. Well, that was what I thought. Out of everything I had read in my diary, my relationship with Yongguk was the only thing I remembered vividly. Especially the image of him with another girl. The feeling of realizing that the person you loved didn't actually love you back definitely hurt. As a matter of fact, it was probably the same exact thing Baekhyun was feeling at that very moment. I quickly shook the thought of Yongguk out of my mind and focused on the task at hand, knowing that the sooner I finished, the less pain Baekhyun would have to feel.

My first actual date with Baekhyun was at Lotte World. He spent tons of money on carnival games but he was only able to win me a little stuffed dog. The little stuffed toy was in the box of trinkets. I stared at it for a while before grabbing it and setting it down in front of my pillows. It would probably help me later in proving that I 'remembered' him. 

I practically zoomed through the rest of my diary, learning about every date that we went on and even our 'first time'. I even read every card and letter her wrote to me. I took one last note of how depressed I was after his incident and considered everything done. I closed every photo album and my diary and put everything back in its place. I collapsed into my bed wanting to call it a night, but my alarm went off just as I was about to close my eyes. I stared at my clock and groaned. It was 5:00 AM and I remembered I had promised Mrs. Lee that I would come in at work at 5:30. 

I grudgingly got up from my bed and found my old uniform in my closet. I put it on and placed tons of concealer underneath my eyes. Although my dark circles weren't showing much at the time, they were definitely going to be more prominent later in the day. I downed a cup of instant coffee and left for work. 

I arrived at the cafe just in time and Luhan had also arrived at the same exact time. He smiled at me and said, "Ready for your first day of work?" 

"Not really," I replied, as I walked through the door. 

"Luckily today's Sunday, so there won't really be any morning rush," he said as he flipped the chairs off of the tables and placed them back in their usual spots on the floor. 

I walked into the backroom and saw Mrs. Lee pulling pastries out of the oven. "I'm so excited you're back! Our customers are going to be so excited to see you behind the counter again!" she said as she placed the trays on cooling racks. "Well, I'm sure you haven't forgotten what to do. Everything's done. All you need to do is load up the pastry display in the front." 

"Is anyone else coming in to work besides me and Luhan?" 

She shook her head. "I always only have two people working Sunday mornings because business doesn't pick up till the afternoon. And you two work the best together any way!"  

Setting up the cafe wasn't that bad. It was just dealing with customers was what I was worried about. It was kind of hard providing service with a smile when I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. 6:00 AM came fairly quick as Luhan flipped the sign on the door to open. Luckily the only people who were awake that early on a Sunday were just a few senior citizens who came in to have a cup of coffee and read the Sunday paper. 

A little later in the morning, business unexpectedly picked up, and Luhan and I were a bit frantic as we served the large number of customers. As I was finishing up a drink, I reached for the whip cream bottle, but so was Luhan. Our hands touched and both of our hands snatched back. I felt heat rising to my face as I muttered out a 'sorry'. He told me not to be and smiled at me as his eyes turned to crescents. I immediately looked away, feeling my heart race and more heat rise to my cheeks. I didn't understand why I was suddenly so flustered by him. I was supposed to be in love with Baekhyun, not him. 

DON'T KILL ME WHEN YOU READ THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS. JUST REMEMBER WHOSE NAME IS IN THE TAGS, OKAY? OKAY?!?!