It was as if time stopped and you took yourself where your feet led you. You were just… dying of embarrassment, and hatred… hatred for your love of someone who broke your heart.

And who was that person?

Choi Jonghoon, your ultimate crush from two years ago and now Seoul High School’s king ka.

*****

It was a sweet spring day, and school had ended at last. You scrambled past the crowd to find Jonghoon at his usual place he stayed after school – the flower garden, just as you always remembered. You would go there after school, just to see him in his most vulnerable and beautiful state, admiring and sniffing at the flowers in the school garden as if they were the most intriguing thing to him.

There in your hands, you carried a letter, written in your best handwriting and scented with the most lovely lavender perfume ever. You had spent days – no, weeks – just planning out what to say in that letter, and then another two weeks drafting and redecorating it.

Finally you were done, and it was time to confess.

You bit your lip nervously as you reached the garden, wondering when would be the best time to approach him. You gave yourself a final look in the mirror – you had worn makeup and hairspray on that day to hopefully seem more attractive in his eyes.

You took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“J…Jonghoon-sshi,”

Jonghoon looked up at you.

“And you are…?”

You shifted on your feet. “S… Seonyoung!” you replied. “Erm, I go to Algebra class with you…”

“Oh,” he said a matter-of-factly. “What do you want?” his eyes were barely on you, as he had a rose in his hand, observing it carefully.

You swallowed hard.

“I came here… to confess to you.”

Jonghoon looked at you, his eyes a bit wide.

“To confess?” he said, as if it were the most ridiculous thing in the world. You could even hear a hint of a chuckle in his tone of voice.

You nodded. “Jonghoon… I really like you and I hope, if you don’t mind, we could… go out sometime.” You placed the letter into his palm, then looked into his eyes.

“Do you accept my feelings?” you asked with a shivering voice.

One thing about Jonghoon was that you could never know what was on his mind. You could say, “The look in his eyes tells me that he’s fine with it,” but in fact, when you follow him back to the garden, he would kick at stones on the grass with tears of anger spilling from his eyes. He was very good at hiding his true emotions.

He just let the question linger in the air for quite some time, as he looked at you with entirely no expression at all.

“Accept your feelings?” he finally said.

You looked at him, your fingers crossed.

“From a person like YOU?” he continued, bursting into laughter. “I can’t believe it. Why would I go out with a loser like you who can’t even dress up properly, look pretty and has no other goal in life than to sneak here to invade my privacy after school? As if I would date you. You’re the ugliest, most stupid girl I’ve ever met, in fact!”

That was it. That was all it took to break your heart.

“I… I’m sorry!” you choked on your tears, running away from him and the garden for as far as you could go.

As you ran, you heard the tearing of paper and the sound of Jonghoon’s peculiar laughing….

*****

And after all this time, you still couldn’t get over him.

You ran and ran and ran, just like what happened two years ago, and found yourself soon after in your classroom.

~