author: jwhong005 / pairing: Taoris / written: June 23, 2012 / rated: PG-13 (caution)

Impatiently, I tapped my finger on the table I was sitting at since time was ticking by and he still wasn’t here. I wasn’t sure why he wasn’t with me yet. He always made sure that he got to the ward by two o’clock during his break. Does this mean that he doesn’t want to see me again since he’s late? Maybe he just doesn’t want to deal with me either. That’s probably it. That’s what I’ve been told so many times.

“Calm down,” a voice next to me said. A warm hand landed on my shoulder and I gave a small smile, trying to regain some kind of composure. “When has Zitao ever let you down?”

That was a good question. He didn’t have to take care of me. I am the older one in the relationship so it is automatically assumed that I’d be the one taking care of him. I wish it was that was but it turned out that things weren’t working in my favor. Instead of giving an answer, I folded my hands into my lap and gave a small smile straight ahead.

“Kris told me that he wasn’t coming today.” I said, trying to make my voice quiet enough so that Yixing couldn’t hear me.

The sigh that sounded gave me the premonition that he did. “Have you taken your medication today?” he asked me.

Sadly, I shook my head. I never took my medicine unless it was Zitao that would give it to me. I couldn’t tell whether or not the dosage they were giving me was enough or too little. But I knew for sure that Zitao would give me the right amount.

“Don’t listen to him. He isn’t coming.” Kris reminded me, kicking the leg of my chair repeatedly. I my lips in attempt to push him away but he flicked me on the side of my head, causing me to flinch.

“Wu Fan, are you alright?” Yixing asked me, putting his hand over mine. “You should really take your medicine. I’m sure that Zitao will be here shortly.”

My chair was kicked again and I almost fell out of it. “Don’t listen to that bastard. You know that he just wants to give you something really strong so he doesn’t have to deal with you.” Kris scoffed, tapping the side of my head. “Why did God give you one of these if you don’t use it? That’s what I’m here for.”

“Okay,” I answered, turning to see nothing but blankness. Still, my hand reached out for the person speaking to me and in turn I grabbed air.

Yixing clapped his hands together suddenly, his feet scuffling away, leaving me along with Kris again. I didn’t like to be alone with him but I was used to being left alone from time to time. Only when footsteps return did I look up into a general direction in search of the source. Warmth came to my cheek as Zitao kissed it, brushing away my hair from my face.

“I didn’t mean to be late. I missed my bus here so I had to get a cab.” Zitao apologized and he pulled a chair over to me. But we were sitting at a round table. That’s what Yixing told me. Round tables meant that I wouldn’t bump into a nasty corner.

“Did you take your meds today yet?” Zitao asked me, lacing our hands together. I smiled unknowingly into a direction of my own choice, shaking my head. He must’ve frowned because he sighed. “Why?”

“Kris told me that they were trying to drug me.” I said, repeating each word after Kris himself.

Zitao leaned against me, shaking a bottle in front of my face. “Will you trust me if I give you your meds? That’s what medication is gege. I’ll give you just enough to get you through the day.”

The only positive thing about me getting a big enough dosage to live through the day was that he would return the day after and give me more. I didn’t like taking the pills that would dissolve on my tongue with a foul taste if I didn’t swallow fast enough. They don’t seem to make me feel any different either. It’s not like they can magically make me see either.

“Say ah,” Zitao cooed, holding a pill up my lips. Obediently I opened my mouth and allowed him to pop the pill in, feeling the glass’s cool rim touch my lips as well afterwards.

We repeated the process four more times before I was done. A half hour after I was finally able to ignore Kris, pushing away his foul words spat in three languages towards Zitao. He didn’t like Zitao for reasons I can’t fathom. Yes, my injury was caused because of him but I can’t blame him. It’s better me than him because I love him.

Even more than that, I trust him.

[a/n] Here's a short explanation: Wu Fan has been diagnosed with bipolar and multiple personality disorder. On top of that, he's blind, which explains why he looks in any direction he can. Kris is the alter ego that comes with the multiple personality disorder. I'd more say that he's compulsive, explaining why he was tapping so rapidly while he was waiting for Zitao but people are not always diagnosed but rather, assumed that they have certain disorders. Wu Fan is placed in a psychiatric ward and thus he takes medication in order to keep the disorders under control.