Fog. What happened to the sun? White. There is white all around. I lean my head against the cool glass. I write two words. 
I am... what? I am..? Nothing? Like my soul? What am I? I'm Lee Donghae. 

The name burns my mind. My mouth. Donghae? East sea? Who am I? Red flashes. I cover my ears to block out the screams. I see a woman. She's frantic, and her voice is shrill. Why? I feel a slap to my face. Tears stung my eyes. I glance down. Who's that man? He's dying. His face tired, and with a besottled expression.  Lifeless. I smile big. A smile that stretches from ear to ear. Blood stains, you know. 

I look outside. Night has fallen. Where am I? Where is the window with the two words with no meaning? I'm at the ocean. East sea? Donghae? My name. What is today? Is it Tuesday? I don't remember.. I stopped keeping track long ago. I hear whimpering. Sobs. Who is that? I turn around. Platinum blonde hair. He's crying. Lost. Bloody. Why does he seem... familiar?

Lee Hyukjae. He's mine. My bestfriend. My boyfriend. I haven't seen him lately. I go to his hotel. the clerk stares at me with a frightened eyes. Why? She shows me an obituary. Hyukjae's. She says he was killed 7 years ago. By who, I ask. She points a shaky finger at me. Me? I killed him? Yeah right. 

I go home. My home. Our home. Why is it empty? Must smelling. Hyukjae, I call out. No answer. Just silence. Flashbacks. I see me. Hyukjae is there, too. What are we doing? Making love? We did that a lot. But no. He wouldn't be crying. Screaming. Or begging. I look down at my feet. There's a faded stain. Stain? Blood. I didn't kill him. Did I? Oh, but I did. 

It gets really cold at night. I'm on our couch now. It's torn and raggedy. Like me. I love you, I say. Say to who? Why to Hyukjae! He's not dead. Is he? Then why is he bloody? There's something cool, metallic, and hard in my hands. I look down. It's a gun. I point it to my temple, and close my eyes. I smile.

Blood stains, you know. 


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Oh my God, hahaha. This is my first time writing a psychological piece, and it is so poorly written. I apoligize. LOL

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