Review: Infinitely Yours
Author: silverline
Reviewed on: 120529 by Marie

♦ Character Development /15

Your characters are developed nicely, with original personalities and great relationships. I love the way you write Taecyeon; it is done very tastefully. Suzy’s character is slightly immature, which isn’t really realistic, but other than that the characters are well written. The only thing I am confused about is Soohyun’s role in the story, but I imagine you will introduce more of that later.

[10/15]

♦ Plot /25

The overall plot is very nice. I love the relationships between the characters and how intricate they are, and I enjoyed reading the story. Sometimes your plot within chapters was kind of unrealistic, but I think that many times it was because you were in a rush to write them. Take your time to write each chapter and don’t feel sorry toward the reader – you’re the one writing it and they should respect you as a writer. So take it easy and make sure that things don’t happen too quickly or in unreasonable ways. Overall, you have a nice plot and I can see that it is going somewhere. You seem like a very creative-minded person.

[20/25]

♦ Conventions /15

I understand that English isn’t your first language so I won’t be too brutal about things. I don’t think you should italicize text or bold it while writing. Early on, in chapter 1, the font changes from normal, to italics, to bold, and even to Hangul, which makes the story seem unprofessional and messy. You should have minimal use of a change in your text, so that when you DO use it, it stands out more. I know that you were showing that a certain part was a flashback, and that certain sentences were the thoughts of the character, but try to stick with one thing designated for italicized words. For example, make all flashbacks in italics, and for thoughts of the character, use quotation marks (“Where is she?” he thought). I also advise against using Hangul in your story, especially when you translate it right after. Instead, just write it in English, and if you want the reader to know that the words were spoken in Korean, indicate that they were after you write it in English. For example, this is from Chapter 1:

“저기요, 뒷자석에뭐두고하셨는데요?” (Romanization : ‘Jeogiyo, dwisjaseog-e mwo dugo hasyeossneundeyo?’ English : ‘You left something on the back seat, sir. Is that yours?’) The driver talked in Korean.

Instead, write this:

“You left something on the back seat, sir. Is that yours?” The driver talked in Korean.

I’m not going to correct your grammar, but I will say that it isn’t terrible. Keep practicing and it will get a lot better. Sometimes your sentences don’t make sense, and I wasn’t sure what you were trying to say so keep working on it. Try to make sure your sentences are all complete and that you use correct verb tense. Your vocabulary is actually quite developed for someone whose first language is not English, so good job.

[6/15]

♦ Originality /15

Your story has a very original storyline, which I like. I haven’t read a story like yours, and you obviously put some thought into it which makes it unique. Even though you use the characters from Dream High, and some of the ideas in the chapters are slightly overused, you write in a very memorable way and I don’t think I’m going to forget this story.

[12/15]

♦ Extras /10

Description: Personally I am against using character descriptions but yours is simple and to the point, which I love. You did a great job in making it look cute and appealing and not giving away too much about your story at the start. Your quotes from Taecyeon and Suzy were perfect and made me want to know more about their story, so good choice.

Graphics: Your background and poster are beautiful, so thank the maker because they really caught my eye! Your story is really inviting, which is a good thing because more people will be likely to begin reading your story, which increases your chances of subscribers. The colors are perfect and the mood fits the story quite well.

Links: In Chapter 5, you have a link. I don’t think this is a good idea, because you shouldn’t rely on a website to describe a scene for you. Do that yourself, as the author.

Title: I find the title slightly ironic, considering that the characters’ love will probably end up changing…so it isn’t actually “Infinite”. For that reason I’m kind of confused as to why you titled it what you did, but I think there might be a reason later on in the story. The title made me expect to read a story about infinite, but once I found out it was about Taecyeon and Suzy I was surprised in a good way. I like your title a lot.

[9/10]

♦ Pace /10

There are times when things are rushed, but for the most part your story flows nicely. Some ideas aren’t really spread out though. For example, Soohyun appears in the second chapter, as what I am assuming is an important character, but doesn’t have another appearance for awhile. Sometimes you only focus on a couple characters for a few chapters and if I weren’t reading them all at once I may forget what happened with other characters earlier. Try to combine certain scenes in the same chapter and spread things out a bit. Still, the story has a great pace.

[7/10]

♦ Meaning /10

Since the story is not complete, I can’t really tell what the meaning of the story is, but I think there will be a very sweet ending to look forward to. You describe things well and the reader always is aware of characters’ feelings and thoughts, so it gives it a more personal appeal, which is a good way to make the reader feel like they are a part of the story. Good job!

[7/10]

♦ Overall /100

Your score of 71 is really good actually. Great job on this story; it’s a really nice one and I am glad I was able to read it. Thanks for requesting! Remember: comment and credit. Thanks! -Marie

[71/100]