I hate lust. I really do. Beause lust is what got me into this situation in the first place.

I want to let you know I did love you, but lust is what got me to heat with that hoe. But I know nothing will change. Just for filling this worthless letter that you'll never read, I'll tell you what has happened since I cheated on you.

Well, you told everyone. My 6 dear best friends just abandoned me. They all said the most painful words that could possibly come out of one's mouth. But the workds that struk me were my best friend Hoya's. "You're a ed up person, you really are, which is why I gladly don't want to see your face again." he said, quite coldly. That hurt the most, though there was worse words said. My best friend, since kindergarten just said he never wants to see me again. For that whole day of shool, I was yelled at, spat at, and called terrible names. To make the day even worse, I came home and my mother looked extremely dissapointed. Did she know? Yes she did. I don't know how, but she did. "You are filth, and a disgrace to this family. You and your disgusting self can go upstairs." Those words hurt me more than Hoya's. My stomach, which already dropped, plummeted down to the very bottom, and I ran upstairs and broke down. All the tears that have threatened all day, came out, and I cried for hours, and hours. This was all too muh for me. Then, I remembered. Before my dad died 3 years ago, he always had a fun that he kept for protection, and my mom still had it in a box in her room. I then ran to said room, and looked everywhere to find that grey box that I remember. Then I found it, and smirked. I then scanned the gun, looking at the fully loaded beauty of a gun. Then I stupidly held the gun from a far away distance, and pointed to myself. Then I shot it, and because I stupidly held it from a far away distance, it hit my shoulder. It hurt, a lot. The pain was excruciating, and blood just was surging out of my body, hitting my mothers belongings, and I passed out, and woke up at the hospital. My mom was next to me sleeping, and I rose up, and felt gauze on my shoulder. Then, my mom woke up, and her face brightened. "You're alive!" She said, wrapping her arms around me. I pushed them off, and she frowned. "Why would you care? I'm nothing but a disgrace to the family, aren't I?" I coldly said. "Son, I-" I interrupted her, because she wrapped her arms around me again. "Since I'm filthy and disgusting, you might not want your pure arms around me." I said, pushing her arms off. She frowned again, and walked away. The next week in the hospital was terrible. I stared at the wall all day. Ex-friends tried to visit, but I'd tell the nurses to tell them to get the away go away. Then I was discharged from the hospital, and it was a deadly silent drive. But, my mom didn't drive me home. She drove me to this ing mental facility. "What the hell is this?!" I yelled/asked. "They'll help you, son." She said, smiling. I gave her the coldest glare ever, and she gulped. "Get your bags." She said.  "Mom, it's only depression, I don't hear ing voices or !" I yelled. "It can help your depression, I already took you out of school." She said, smiling warmly, but I didn't feel any of that goddamn warmth. Then she forced me out, and checked me in this exact hole where I'm writing this worthless letter for a mind exercise(which is the only thing they had me do, damnit). I miss my old life. My friends, and mainly you. You won't believe this, but you mean everything to me. I love you, and miss you so much. I hate lust, I really do.

If only you could read this.

Love, Myungsoo.

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I know this is a ish and short oneshot, but this is the first actual fanfic I've ever written.

It looked way longer when I wrote this during school.

I've been thinking of a sequel, but not sure if it would be any good.

It would probably be something like your POV or something through all of this.

Comment, and subscribe if you want a sequel! :]