Story Review by I-HearYourVoice from BAEK% Review & Graphics Shop
Without YouStory Review by I-HearYourVoice from BAEK% Review & Graphics Shop
Without You by hazel_marie13
Reviewed by I-HearYourVoice
Title: 3/5
The title Without you kind of is a spoil for the whole story itself. By looking at the title it is easy to tell what would happen, maybe a more unique title will attract more readers.
Appearance: 5/5
The font chosen is nice. It is very spacious and not squashed up. I like it <3
Description/Foreword: 5/10
The title does grab my attention and makes me story scrolling the page to click on it. The description and foreword are mixed up; your description should be about your story, what is happening ect. Forewords are meant to talk about your ides, your authors note.
Besides that, the wording you used in the foreword is very simple. There isn't a lot said. Though I personally thought that you told the whole story in just one paragraph.
Some errors you made were writing '&' use the actual word form 'and'. Add grammar, I noticed that you join your sentences with '&'.
Plot: 16/30
Sorry if I sound harsh. Like I said before, the title gives away the story. It's not very original, especially with the beat on how Heechul had to make Jessica fall in love with him. However, you did put the format correctly. Which was nice to see.
It would also be better if you made who's POV better, since it did blend in with the normal font.
Grammar: 16/20
Besides the grammar mistakes I said before, everything else looked fine.
Characterization: 8/15
The characterization is good :) Though you didn't have a actual characterization, you still showed your characters personality through a paragraph in the foreword, though I wished you talked more about Heechul and how he is.
Flow: 9/10
The flow was good. It lead onto one idea to another nicely. It was very descriptive.
Overall enjoyment: 4/5
The story overall was good, though there were a few errors, I would continue reading it.
Final Score: 66/100
Thank you for requesting. If you have any questions about your final score, please don't hesitate to contact the reviewer or the store owner, onexpiece
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(A/N: Wasn't expecting a 66% score for this story because I was expecting a lower score and I really believed on what the reviewer's opinion about my story so I'll surely follow her tips to improve my writing skills :)
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