Feel Alive (Final)

Feel Alive
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It’s the kind of day that Pham Hanni finds boring. She crossed her arms, trying to find peace in all the chaos her officemates are creating. She was sitting in front of her computer wrapping everything up for the day. She had this headache coming, and the noise from their floor didn’t help her one bit. 

 

“Can’t wait to go home,” – was an understatement, she thought. She heard one of her colleagues, Danielle Marsh–a Korean-aussie, sitting at the other side of the table stretch her arms and mutter the complaint. Hanni was thankful that she met Danielle in a dreadful corporate life, if not, she wasn’t sure how to cope, going to Korea alone was too much, let alone working for a Korean company, and growing up in Australia didn’t help her with that kind of adjustment.

 

“I guess we should,” Hanni replied with a blank face standing up as she fixed the mess on her table. She’s used to working so much lately and she feels lifeless, she would just wake up early, commute, and then go back home to sleep repeatedly.

 

Repetitive. 

 

Who would’ve thought her life full of dreams and optimism would turn upside down when she started being a corporate slave? Not even the slightest in her mind that this can happen.

 

Hanni knew that she had so many dreams, little things that gave her joy, could be a cup of coffee in the morning with the right amount of sugar, city lights, and a cold breeze with her favorite 90s music playlist as she enjoyed her time in solitude. None of those are giving her the same excitement in life anymore. Or more of like, she forgot that those gave her excitement.

 

Pathetic.

 

“Didn’t you hear her? We have to render overtime because of this sick project that I don’t even think would be successful,” Danielle huffed. 

 

“Don’t say that, I don’t even want to think that all our hard work will just go to waste,” Hanni looked at her office bestie with a sigh.

 

“That’s the thing, we should just let this thing fail, besides, a company as big as this won't lose much of a penny if that project won’t work, less work for us!” This time, Danielle was hastily fixing her hair and started re-launching her office software apps she just closed a while ago, contradicting what she just said. 

 

“Ugh, remind me why are we project managers again?” She added.

 

This made Hanni sit back on her oddly uncomfortable office chair, she didn’t bother to even look up anymore to see Danielle glancing at her. “It was one of the positions we think is high paying that’s why we grabbed it,” Hanni replied. 

 

“Why do we need money again? Why does money exist in the world in the first place? We could’ve just lived in a peaceful society without anything that should control us,” 

 

“Then it would be more chaotic than this office,” 

 

Hanni, out of all the passersby at her desk, finally looked up after hearing a specific voice, her eyes were welcomed by a smiling Kim Minji–brown almond eyes, a well-proportioned nose, and a very close to symmetrical face shape woman, pretty on a simple term. She was holding an iced coffee while her forearm rested on a divider.

 

“Sorry, I just happened to hear the conversation while passing by, everything okay here?” She chuckled. Minji was wearing a baby blue button-down polo tucked into her faded gray jeans. She wore this slim black choker that was deemed inappropriate for office attire, but for some reason, no one called her out yet. People have been stylish lately anyway.

 

“Hey Minji,” Danielle’s eyes lit up. 

 

“Hey..and hi Pham,” She greeted Danielle but her attention shifted to the shorter girl rather quickly. She saw Hanni in her usual demeanor with her gray vest, bun hair, and translucent glasses.

 

Hanni gave her a small smile and looked back at her monitor. She's not fond of interacting much with her office mates, her life has been completely consumed by work and she didn’t want to associate much more by being all friendly with everyone in the building. 

 

 

“Are you going home, Minji?” 

 

 

“Yeah, game night with the girls and boys, you guys?” 

 

Minji was one of the heads of their IT department. Hanni calls it the “most laid-back” department for a reason, she couldn’t see them busy at all, only when there’s an issue mostly with their computers or company system. Now, adding the fact that Minji’s night will mostly be consumed by hours of gaming made her feel nauseous about how unfair life is.

 

But hell yeah they get paid even higher at times when they do the “coding” thing. Hanni couldn’t help but feel annoyed by the idea that project managers like her are suffering, sometimes she thinks that it could’ve been better if she had just chosen computer science rather than marketing, but she was foolish back then, she really thought gamers and boys are more fitted for the type of courses.

 

 

“Nah, we need to finish something first and we’ll head home, just another regular OT day,” 

 

“That’s a shame, you know, we should hang out sometimes after work, for you guys to ease up!” 

 

“It won’t change the fact we’re still busy the next day or the next Monday unlike you guys,” Hanni blurted out a little too harshly. It was a bit awkward and Danielle smiled apologetically towards Minji. 

 

The latter just nodded in understanding. 

 

Hanni felt a bit guilty but she was too busy to think about what she said, she continued working on some of the documents in front of her. Then she felt a presence beside her. 

 

“Sorry about that, I wasn’t really thinking,” Minji looked down at Hanni. “Anyway, I’ll head out first guys, I really hope you can go home early tonight,” She waved at Danielle and glanced at Hanni who didn’t even budge.

 

Just as Minji was out of sight, Dani popped her head on the other side of the divider, “I think that was uncalled for,” Danielle furrowed her eyes.

 

“Whatever, I’m just too tired to think about it right now,” Hanni shrugged. When Danielle went back to sit properly, Hanni glanced at the left side of her desk.

 

She saw the iced coffee Minji was holding just a while ago, obviously untouched. There was a small note on top of it.

 

 

“Don't forget to steal a moment for yourself. -MJ” 

 

 

Hanni looked at Minji whose figure immediately disappeared. She sighed, thinking that she didn’t need anyone telling her life advice at this moment. She didn’t need it, she needed peace.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

If peace even exist at this rate, Hanni would trade her boss' life just to feel it.

 

“Is this something we can re-do?”

 

“Like everything?”

 

“Totally everything,”

 

Hanni had wide open with what she just heard, one of her Korean bosses looked at the documents as she twitched her eyes in confusion. 

 

“What could be wrong?” Hanni couldn’t help but ask, her boss looked up to her briefly, giving a look that says how-dumb-are-you-not-to-know. 

 

“If we start with this kind of approach, we won’t be getting a yes to the higher management to start this project, it’s expensive, and definitely they won’t like how the revenue will be affected, not to mention this kind of process is like a giveaway to consumers,”

 

All Hanni could do was to internally curse everyone that day. When she got back from her boss' office, she found a brownie on her table.

 

"Take it easy, everything's going to be okay, - MJ"

 

She sighed and knew it was from Minji, although it confused her so much, she never bothered to ask the other girl why she made efforts like these. 

 

 

 

**

 

 

“You know what’s funny?” This time around, finally, both Hanni and Danielle are preparing to leave the office, they will restart overall with their proposal and their boss gave them a week for another deadline, which means, this Friday can be rather a free evening for them before another hell week.

 

“Ironically having time tonight for ourselves even though we both know that our jobs got just a lot more complicated next week,” Danielle added with a bitter chuckle.

 

“Any plans tonight?” She asked the shorter girls who seemed to be zoning out. 

 

Hanni was looking at the traffic from their building window. Just thinking about it to commute. 

 

“I’m going out with Haerin later, want to join?”

 

“No please, I’m in no mood to be the third wheel,” 

 

“Wha- what are you saying?” Danielle panicked, she couldn’t look at Hanni’s eyes.

 

“Come on, it’s so obvious that both of you have something going on,” Hanni blurted like it was a known fact nationwide. Haerin was Danielle’s teammate. She was very quiet and pretty, they don’t have a thing against office romance so it shouldn’t be an issue at all. Bit confused about Danielle's reaction, she just looked at the latter with a raised eyebrow.

 

Danielle couldn’t reply, “Okay Ms. Know-it-all, how about you and Minji?” 

 

“Me and who?” 

 

Hanni was definitely shocked to hear Danielle say that, she had to ask the latter to repeat the name, even though she heard it loud and clear.

 

“You and Minji, I’m 100% sure Minji likes you, Hanni,” Danielle successfully changed the topic, saving herself time to turn the situation around.

 

“You’re crazy, that’s not true, stop with the issues and being malicious,” Hanni couldn’t think of anything since what Danielle said was too crazy for her indeed. She never saw Minji as someone who would be interested in her. 

 

“Are we really not going to talk about the way she looks at you and how she would sometimes drop by our desks to say hi?” 

 

The shorter girl didn't like where the conversation was leading, all she knew was that she was not ready nor had time for dating.

 

Hanni shook her head, “I’m leaving, have fun with Haerin!”

 

“Hanni wait!”

 

Before she could even hear Danielle’s endless questions, she decided it was best to leave the building and start heading home.

 

 

 

*** 

 

Of course, a few minutes after leaving, Hanni found herself sighing at the bad traffic in front of her, people are in long lines waiting for the bus, which is her mode of transport, and she was too far away from the train station, thinking about riding a taxi at this hour is already a pain in the and would cost her 3 days of her commute fare. 

 

She wasn’t being cheap, but she was being practical.

 

After some contemplation, Hanni sat somewhere not far from the bus stop, not falling in line, she just looked at the amount of people waiting. She just put her headphones on and started listening to some 2000 pop rock-country music. She decided that it was probably best to take some time alone, solitude at its finest.

 

After two to three songs, Hanni continued scanning on her phone to queue some songs, it was a Michelle Branch kind of night.

 

To her dismay, a sudden tap on her shoulder disturbed her immersive thoughts (of most likely her failed decision-making past), she looked up, narrowing her eyebrows.

 

“Hey, this is an odd place to spot you,” 

 

There stood the same person who just gave her an iced coffee a week ago. Minji gripped her backpack strap and bit her lip, she was acting a little bit weird, like someone talking to her grade school crush. 

 

But of course, Hanni didn’t think about any of those, she wasn’t being malicious at little things.

 

Little did she know, the term is oblivious. 

 

 

“Oh, hi,” For the sake of being civil and polite, she greeted Minji. 

 

The taller girl nodded and bit her lip. “You going home?” Minji asked.

 

“Well, obviously, I couldn’t,” Hanni darted her eyes toward the mob of people waiting at the bus stop. 

 

 

“Oh, well, it’s Friday and it’s payday, so I doubt that would get better anytime soon,”

 

Hanni wanted to sarcastically reply to Minji but she stopped herself. She remembered how rude she was last time but Minji was there giving her an iced coffee, reminding her to “steal a moment,” for herself. She wasn’t sure about what it meant or poetic, so she couldn’t really comprehend what the latter was trying to say.

 

“Uh..well I guess, I might have to spend a few more hours here then,” She said almost like a mutter enough for the latter to hear. 

 

Minji pursed her lips, thinking deeply. “I am actually taking the bus as well, since there’s like a hundred people in rival, I guess I’ll just have to wait,”

 

Minji gripped the car keys in her hand and immediately slid them on her backpack pocket without Hanni noticing.

 

Hanni glanced at Minji and nodded. Her social skills aren’t really that good so she’s unsure what to say next. She saw Minji’s heels turning the opposite, she released a sigh of relief, probably thinking Minji already left or probably sat somewhere nowhere near her.

 

After a few minutes, Hanni still had her head hung low, she saw the same pair of black 70’s chucks from earlier. She looked up to see Minji, at least, to her recognition. Minji reached her hand to give Hanni an ice cream. 

 

“Thank you..?” Another unsure response. When she could clearly see Minji, she saw how a small smile formed up on her pretty face. 

 

“Don’t mention it, eating sweets can give you a little energy for the long night or trip,”

 

Hanni felt Minji sat beside her. “Hope you don’t mind,” 

 

“Well, you sat before you asked,”

 

“Oh..”

 

Minji shifted her seat a little farther from Hanni. Feeling a little disappointed.

 

Hanni finally looked at Minji, the taller girl with a frown on her face. For some reason, Hanni chuckled, finding a frowning Minji cute, which earned a surprised look from Minji.

 

“I’m just kidding,” Hanni said and she started eating her ice cream.

 

Minji on the other hand, slowly shifted back, sitting closer to Hanni carefully observing her reaction. She could smell her perfume with fruity and woody notes.

 

She sighed in relief. 

 

“How did you know I like blueberries?” 

 

The minute of silence was surprisingly broken by Hanni asking the question. 

 

“I didn’t, I like blueberries, but I feel like I’ve been eating them a lot lately, so I had Matcha this time,”

 

“You mean, you got me your favorite ice cream flavor instead?” 

 

“Y-yeah, you could say that, but I'm glad we have the same likes,” The way Hanni questioned Minji had a little heat on her cheeks. 

 

“I see,” Hanni her ice cream. “You got good taste,”

 

Minji suppressed a creeping smile on her face. She resisted the urge to say “I do,” out loud because she was scared that Hanni would think of her weirdly.

 

Hanni, on the other hand, was surprised by the calmness of Minji’s presence. They didn't talk too much at first. Although she feels like it’s always annoying to see Minji in the office while telling Danielle random stories of her weekend getaway, she realizes that it must have been sort of envy. Minji’s weekend activities are far from how she spends her weekends. It was never Minji's f

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Comments

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Whatever090909 #1
Chapter 1: this is so cute and warm 🥹
andaengdaeng0901 #2
more bbangsaz pls
ephiechingu
#3
Chapter 1: Thank you for this wonderful warm story. :)
venus101 #4
Chapter 1: Aww my heart feels warm
SamYhn #5
Chapter 1: Oh! I love this story!
Hotaruru
#6
omg bbangsaz 😳 you're not alone, epnim! I also love this pairing :]