Your screen time was down 47% last week, for an average of 4 hours, 17 minutes a day.

 

Something shifted.

 

No, it wasn't a small shift — it was a big, awakening-of-feelings kind of shift. The kind that you don't feel the ground quake until you halt in your steps and feel the faint trembles surging from the soles of your feet. And then moments later, you're thrown off balance, completely losing your footing and your whole world quivers and slants.

 

Sakura is still standing, barely — with shaking legs and nothing else but herself to hold onto amidst the tremors and it's nigh time before she tumbles to the ground or plunges inbetween the cracks. She has no name to call something of this magnitude.

 

Yet.

 

She has had her small moments of quiet introspection, and often she feels like a nail out of place when she gets lost in her deep musings, mind wandering the most at night, keen to reel herself away from reality from time to time to unravel herself, until life hammers her back into place.

 

Then finally she's shoved back into reality, and she moves on and never thinks much about her thoughts that have always been brushed aside, in some corner of her mind that's bound to be forgotten sooner or later — poofed away like a fleeting thought bubble.

 

So it's odd to her when this one thought hasn't dissipated like it should have, and moreover it's been weeks, yet it persists in her head like rain — no matter how much you try to shield yourself from it, some of it would still find its way to seep into your clothes.

 

Sakura notes one thing regarding this compelling, anomaly of a thought.

 

That it revolves solely around Yunjin.

 

"Aw, why'd you stop..."

 

A warm hand wraps around the tips of her fingers, it tugs slightly and demands them with need to return to their place of origin — within the soft tresses of jet black hair which had been once coloured gold like the shine of the sun with the lushness of an exuberant retriever's fur.

 

Strange, when did she start associating Yunjin with metaphors instead of short, straightforward adjectives?

 

Another thing to note, she guesses.

 

Sakura directs her gaze away from her phone and down towards Yunjin, whose head rest upon her lap. Those brown orbs rich in amber hue- her pupils, Sakura meant, hide themselves behind heavy eyelids half-closed, sleep beckoning her within its arms.

 

"You could do it yourself," Sakura says, yet her hand automatically returns to lightly grazing her dainty fingers against Yunjin's scalp.

 

"Noo~ your head scratches are the best," comes a whiny reply, before a long, content sigh escapes plump lips.

 

Sakura watches as her fingers get tangled in Yunjin's hair, every slight movement she makes seemingly tightening the strands that had weaved themselves around the spaces of her fingers. It's a familiar feeling when Yunjin would give her that million-dollar grin, corners of her lips reaching her ears, smile lines prominent, and Sakura would just be left to stare, lost for words, feeling the odd constricting of her chest as if there were vines wrapping around her heart.

 

And weirdly, it would palpitate twice as fast upon each wring, as opposed to yielding to the suffocation where she thought it would (should) have slowed.

 

"You come knocking on my door for the most ridiculous stuff, I swear." Sakura grouses, taking her eyes off the sleepy woman on her lap to glance at her damn phone yet again.

 

The screen time notification feels provoking, how it currently has every other notifs subjugated right under it, the bolded font she's chosen as a default heavily adds to the taunt and it successfully irks her.

 

The words seem to cackle and , 'This is how much time you have spent not thinking about her'. And Sakura fears — no, very well acknowledges they're right.

 

She turns off her phone, but not before giving it another piercing glare and then slides it across her coffee table.

 

"You complain all the time but open up for me anyway," Yunjin laughs lazily, leans into the ministrations of Sakura's fingers and hums in delight for the nth time.

 

Sakura blinks, bumped that she's right,"Is my apartment your dorm now? Are you secretly having roommate troubles? Should I talk to Chaewon?"

 

Yunjin opens her eyes and shoots her a weirded look, chuckles at her dubiety.

 

"No, she's alright," She waves a dismissive hand, rolls to her side and her face is facing Sakura's stomach.

 

The cherry blossom subconsciously presses herself further into the couch, the swarm in her stomach returns and with how close Yunjin is, she's perturbed by the possibility of the younger being able to hear the horde in her stomach.

 

"Could take some anger management classes but other than that, she's meh." Yunjin adds, releasing a yawn after.

 

Sakura merely stares at the younger, eyes taking in how long and pretty Yunjin's eyelashes were.

 

"We have Minju specifically to appease that little ball of anger."

 

Yunjin chuckles at her statement, even these small reactions she's able to extract from the younger fills her with something akin to fulfilment. Sakura carefully untangles her hand from Yunjin's hair, with the latter occupying the entirety of her right side, her arm dangles awkwardly, until she decides to rest it on the back of the couch, fingers lightly picking at the leather.

 

"Wake me up in ten, got a shopping date with Ning."

 

Sakura hums mindlessly, has fully accepted that Yunjin's weight on her will remain until the next few minutes. She feels the numbness slowly kicking in and she takes precaution in not making any sudden movements so as to not disrupt Yunjin's comfort. She tells herself that it's only for ten minutes more and she relents, the burn in her thighs don't compare to the one she occasionally feels internally.

 

She feels Yunjin shift on her lap again and her eyes trail after her languid movements. When slender arms envelop themselves around her waist, Sakura turns completely rigid for a moment, until the younger relaxes and then she does too.

 

The sound of Yunjin's calm, rhythmic breathing fills the room. Contrary to her calm composure, Sakura feels the tightening in her chest once more. This time, it emits a surge of warmth throughout her body, and lingers longer than it should wherever Yunjin's arms encircle her.

 

Sakura steals a glance at her phone on the coffee table, she throws her head back and absentmindedly stares at the dull, white ceiling. Then she's back to finding solace in her own thoughts, and one way or another Yunjin slips herself into her musings.

 

So she closes her eyes, used to it.

 

(Yunjin pulls her into a constant state of reverie, she's not quite sure how to get out of it.

 

Or if she even wants to.)

 

---

 

At what point did they develop — her feelings?

 

When Sakura thinks back, it's surprisingly easier to pinpoint the exact moment than she had initially thought. Maybe it was because she was able to capture it in the spur of the moment, when she looked through the photos she's taken using her camera, to see how she had captured Yunjin through the viewfinder.

 

That was barely a couple weeks ago. And now as she looks through the digital film scans on her laptop drive, she's reliving it again, reeled into a trance as she recalls the airy yet stiffling feeling in her guts.

 

27 exposures, and 21 of them were of Yunjin.

 

"By any chance, ma'am, are you in love?"

 

One of the employees who worked in a photo store had brought up the question — it was when Sakura had decided to travel a little further into the city to find another store aside from Yena's, despite the latter's being nearer. She frequents Yena's workplace a lot to develop her photos, mainly because they're close friends and additionally, it was conveniently closer to her apartment.

 

That day, her feet brought her some place else, for reasons she couldn't really grasp. The answer's at the tip of her tongue, she feels it, it's something silly that includes confrontation from Yena which she never wants to look forward to.

 

"Sorry...?" Sakura stuttered then, taken aback by the employee's sudden inquiry, prodding a personal question no less.

 

The man chuckled lightly as he packed a fairly bulky envelope gently into a small carrier. He did it with ease, as if he hadn't just dropped a bombshell on her.

 

"It's just that the way these photos were taken... they feel very personal. Honestly, when I was developing them, it felt like I was intruding in an intimate moment between the photographer and the muse. One of the reasons I love working here is because I'm able view the memories people have captured through an omniscient point of view, I love the stories their photos hold and untangling the feelings in the essence of such moments. So likewise, I tried to relive the moment in your eyes as I looked through your photos and all I could feel was... well, inevitably, love."

 

The employee articulated, he raised his head and Sakura looked at him wordlessly as a gentle yet knowing smile occupied his lips.

 

For a stranger to be able to perceive something supposedly intricate within her photos, something within her must have really shifted. Sakura had been hit with the realisation so abruptly like an arrow shot to her back, the aftershock rendering her tongue-tied and she had yet to register the throbbing in her back.

 

What did he say? Love? What kind of love?

 

If she had been to Yena's, it would have probably been thrown straight to her face, perhaps it was why she didn't commute to the latter's in the first place. She needed the time to comprehend all of it, and the man's words were merely a key to unlock this ambiguous feeling — to set her in motion.

 

He dangles it in front of her and Sakura's free to do whatever she wants with this realisation — to explore the unknown with the unfathomable risks and serendipities it brings or keep it locked away in hopes of keeping it at bay.

 

Sakura frowned.

 

What does she expect herself to do once she familiarises herself with that ambiguous feeling? How does she distinguish the blurred lines — between possibly liking someone (Yunjin) or just the idea of someone (Yunjin)?

 

"Anyway, you can find the digital scans in the link we've sent you via email, and here are the physical prints. By the way, you take really great photos! And your muse is so pretty. Do come again!"

 

She spaced out her entire ride home, almost missed her stop and entered her apartment's passcode wrong once — something that has never happened, she's got a spectacular memory.

 

*081001.

 

Where did those numbers come from?

 

She brushed it off and entered it correctly on the next attempt, Maru's birthday — her beloved orange cat at home in Japan.

 

Briefly, she wondered how her family is doing.

 

In the comfort of her room, Sakura looked through her photos again. She opened a folder where hundreds of her older photos were stored, and when she compared them to her new folder consisting of a mere 27 photos, she gradually leaned back in her seat, her eyes flitted back and forth between the two folders, unable to tear them away from the screen.

 

Sakura felt the imminent change, it was tangible in her shots, there was a clear contrast between the old and new.

 

When did Yunjin become the center of her focus?

 

---

 

Afternoon is at its close and sunset nears, bathing the horizon in shades of gold and yellow.

 

Sakura feels the warmth of its rays seeping into her skin, blending into the one that's already pooling within her chest as she watches the grin on Yunjin's face grow everytime the stray cat nuzzles into her gentle touches.

 

She's seen Yunjin bathed in sunlight before. Just that she has never stopped to properly take in the sight of the way the hues of the sun spilled gorgeously on Yunjin's skin — yellows hiding in her midnight-black waves, orange cradling her cheeks, gold mingling with bright brown orbs — clear eyes so full of vitality.

 

For a while, Sakura gazes at the woman in front of her, with one single thought easily subduing the rest.

 

Sunkissed Yunjin is mesmerising.

 

"Kkura, look at it! Isn't it sooo cute?" Yunjin coos and coos as the cat mewls and rubs its head against her hands, the critter giving the taller woman the attention in hopes of getting something in return.

 

"Sakura?" Yunjin turns her head and looks up with an arched brow when she doesn't get a response,"You carry treats with you?"

 

"Yeah, here." Sakura swings her bag to her front, eyes blinking rapidly when she breaks out of her trance, realising she most probably had been caught staring like a loser.

 

She brushes the fleeting moment of embarrassment away and fishes out a long sachet — a able cat treat that she usually carries one in her bag in case she runs into strays, much like today.

 

When she hands the treat over, Yunjin cheers giddily, excitement so blatant in her actions that Sakura could feel herself being injected with vigor just looking at the bright smile gracing Yunjin's lips. She finds herself smiling ever so slightly when the cat mewls in elation at the sight of the treat, practically hugging Yunjin's wrists as it to its heart's content.

 

Yunjin's airy laughter rings through her ears — it's pleasant, warm and enough to assuage any negative thoughts in her head.

 

"Don't know if I'm tripping or you're actually so spacey these days." Yunjin says out of the blue, glancing up at the older woman who stood with hands shoved in her pocket, leaned slightly back with her pelvis forward.

 

She ought to advise the cherry blossom about her gaming habits, the bad posture (although some may find it attractive) exhibiting itself more often than not.

 

"Spacey?" Sakura tilts her head.

 

"Like, you're spacing out. A lot." Yunjin narrows her eyes at her, dividing her attention between the cat and the Japanese.

 

She supposes it's dire that even Yunjin is starting to notice something's off about her these days. Despite that, Sakura hums absentmindedly, posture lax even when she knew she should be alarmed when the object of her ambiguous feelings are suspecting her of something.

 

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours, hm?" Yunjin asks, looking at the cat with fond eyes as it the smeared remaining of the treat coating her fingers.

 

Sakura clicks her tongue, then hums a long flat note seemingly in thought, darting her eyes up to the sky where symphony of hues coloured the evening. She opens , no words come out in the first few seconds because she's unsure too, catching Yunjin looking at her in curiosity from her periphery.

 

Sakura's eyebrows knitted in a frown, she kicks a pebble and it skips across concrete.

 

"You know it's funny, 'cause I'm trying to figure it out too." She shrugs, feels like she's stated a half-lie but she's in the middle of exploring things too.

 

"Well, when you're done 'figuring it out', let me in on it! You know how curious I get!" Yunjin exclaims, caresses the cat one last time before it scurries away once satiated. She rises to her feet and dusts off her pants and hands.

 

"Bye cutie..." Yunjin bades the critter farewell with obvious sadness in her weak wave.

 

Sakura chuckles, pulling her hands out of her pockets, one coming up to rub her nape.

 

"Yunjin," she calls.

 

"What's up?" The taller woman whirls around, and Sakura's smiling slightly when sunkissed Yunjin blesses her sight once more, skin so radiant she thinks Yunjin outshines the sun.

 

That ear-splitting grin shows itself again and no matter how much Sakura braces herself for the tightening feeling in her chest, she's never prepared at how much it affects her. She could hear her own heartbeat in her ears.

 

"Do you want to... go for that thing you said you wanted to go to?" Sakura shrugs, voice almost reduced to a whisper as she asks.

 

Yunjin gives her a questioning look, walking at a snail's pace beside Sakura as they resume their walk to the subway station.

 

"Whaaat thing...? There's a lot of things I wanna go to-"

 

"That one-day cooking class you mentioned that's gonna teach a special Genshin food recipe." Sakura says it in one breath, surprised she hadn't tumbled over her words and even more so when Yunjin merely stares at her in bewilderment.

 

They stop in their tracks, because Yunjin seemingly glitched and is now glued in her spot while Sakura apologised to a passerby whom she almost crashed into when she stopped after Yunjin.

 

"OH EM GEE?! Are you ing serious?! Oops- sorry foul mouth, but really?!"

 

Yunjin bounces once, hands balled into fists as she trembled in excitement in front of her face, biting her bottom lip.

 

Sakura becomes speechless for a second, glancing around, embarrassment colouring her cheeks when Yunjin's voice boomed in the streets, which turned a few heads.

 

"Yes, god... please lower your voice?!" Sakura implores her, grabbing Yunjin's wrists and tries to shake her out of it. There's stars in Yunjin's eyes upon her confirmation, the delighted squeal she evokes right after almost popped the cherry blossom's eardrums.

 

"You totally weren't interested when I first asked you, what made you change your mind?"

 

Yunjin let herself be dragged forward, eyes still twinkling, Sakura's hand grasping her bicep and pulling her forward to move out of people's way.

 

"Just curious, plus who knows maybe I'll start getting interested in that game." Sakura shrugs indifferently, removes her hand but Yunjin captures it in a tight grasp.

 

Sakura is a homebody, she loves it when plans get canceled, when she doesn't get forced to attend frat parties, when she merely has to follow the itinerary of the planner instead of being the one planning everything.

 

So when she pulls something like this, bringing up an invitation she initially was not interested in and asks if she could tag along, it's new to not just Yunjin, but herself especially.

 

No it wasn't an obligation, none of it felt like an obligation — spending time with Yunjin, rather, the woman puts her at a level of comfort no one does, surrounds her with warmth unrivaled.

 

So it's not wrong to want to see more of that heartwarming, bright smile when she's in her element right? To be curious and experience the things that Yunjin finds joy in out of genuine interest?

 

Yunjin rejoices at her answer of course. Her happiness, Sakura feels it too, it warms her from inside out.

 

"Oh my god... are you finally abandoning your Zelda-"

 

"Never, I may be 319 hours in but I'm never stopping."

 

"...You're crazy. Anyway, wanna grab girl dinner?"

 

"Define 'girl dinner'."

 

"Why, McDonald's of course!"

 

Yunjin doesn't let go of her hand all the way to the restaurant, swinging their clasped hands to and fro and Sakura thinks that if little things like this could make Yunjin smile for a long, long time, she doesn't mind an aching shoulder every once in a while.

 

---

 

"Are you drunk?"

 

"...No."

 

Yunjin knocks at her door at around one in the morning — it's the frequent timing Sakura would spend lying down idly in bed, finding comfort in her late night thoughts, she would stare blankly at her ceiling as the quiet puts her at peace.

 

Sakura had stormed her way to the entrance, jaw clenched with a burning flame rising within her, a balled fist prepared to deck whoever the hell decided to ruin her moment of serenity at stupid o'clock.

 

When she swung it open and saw Yunjin standing half dazed outside her door, clinging onto the walls as her knees wobbled due to her dizzy state, the flames are doused in an instant.

 

Sakura is left to stare in surprise at the unexpected presence, lips parted in shock when it dons on her that Yunjin's right at her doorstep in the dead of night, in a vulnerable state that briefly conjures concern in the cherry blossom when she thinks about the taller woman's trip here. And she's grateful that Yunjin's in one piece at least.

 

Yunjin dons a black spaghetti-strapped dress that hugs her body just right and accentuates her curves, it's crumpled around the hem and her purse is halfway zipped. She smells faintly of alcohol when Sakura immediately hauls her inside, throwing a slender arm around her petite shoulders and with gritted teeth, she valiantly drags Yunjin inside.

 

Yunjin mumbles incoherent sentences that Sakura doesn't bother trying to apprehend, watching with a grimace as Yunjin throws herself unceremoniously on her couch, sinking into the cushion with a relieved sigh.

 

Sakura exhales, eyes scrutinising the sluggish figure on her couch with crossed arms, lips upturned. Her gaze captures the way Yunjin's lips curved up in a small, tipsy smile, chocolate-rich eyes hiding behind closed eyelids and Sakura enters into a state of trance as her gaze sweeps along the long, wispy lashes grazing flushed skin.

 

If it were any other timing, Sakura would have found her gorgeous. Even then, showing up at her doorstep with half a mind intact, looking like a mess of gorgeous chaos, cherubic cheeks painted a deep red, buzzed with alcohol, Sakura thinks Yunjin is beautiful even in this state.

 

Black strands curtain her face as Yunjin languidly sits up, then tries to rise to her feet, Sakura catches her when she sways, anchoring the taller woman as her vision tilts.

 

"How many bottles?" Sakura groans, eyebrows furrowed as Yunjin clings onto her like she's the only concrete matter in her dizzying world.

 

"One and a half..." Yunjin mumbles and gulps, Sakura's eyes travel to the column of and watches as it bops up and down. Yunjin slumps in her arms,"...shots."

 

It evokes an amused chuckle from her, and when Yunjin's plump lips jutted out in an embarrassed pout, sending weak hits to her side, Sakura takes it all in.

 

"Mind explaining what you're doing at my doorstep at one in the morning?" Sakura asks, somehow Yunjin gains a surge of energy to reel her in an embrace, incomprehensive words slurring in the cherry blossom's prominent ears that the warm, intoxicated breath paints it red, heat pooling at the graze of Yunjin's lips.

 

"..."

 

Sakura returns the embrace, arms snaking around Yunjin's waist so painfully slow, they hang in the air at first, until she pulls them away during a moment of uncertainty and settles on putting her hands upon the woman's hips, light and feathery she's sure Yunjin doesn't even feel a thing.

 

"You got locked out of the dormgrounds didn't you." Sakura brushes off her reluctance so casually, tone calm and poised as if Yunjin hadn't driven her up the wall moments earlier.

 

She gets a lazy hum as a response, black strands tickle her cheeks, Sakura angles her head just slightly. Yunjin smells just as pretty as she looks, despite the alcohol tainting her scent.

 

"You and curfew never go well in a sentence."

 

"We have a love-hate relationship- hgk!"

 

"Don't you dare vomit on my floor! I swear Yunjin-"

 

"Pfft... you got scared." Yunjin giggles in her ears, slurred and dazed, half-lidded eyes looking back into concerned ones.

 

Sakura would have dropped her for even daring to in this embarrassing state, but her hands stay glued to Yunjin like they belonged there, refusing to let go even as she helps her out of her pretty dress, even as she sits on the toilet cover while Yunjin soaks herself in the warm bath despite being merely seconds away from dozing off yet she still holds Yunjin's hand anyway, even as she helps Yunjin climb into her bed without second thoughts like it was something so natural.

 

"Yunjin, did you kiss anyone at the party?"

 

Sakura asks this as they lay in her bed, Yunjin tucked into her side despite the older woman having divided their spaces already.

 

She doesn't know why she's asking, frankly, but when her mind reels back to the smudges of lipstick around Yunjin's mouth, smearing where it shouldn't, Sakura feels sour.

 

She's no stranger to the feeling, but she's afraid of what this one is capable of — it's like a dormant volcano that's continuously accumulating heat from the magma, waiting to erupt when the time comes. More than that, she's afraid of Yunjin getting caught in the onslaught of the viscous destruction.

 

"I... think? We played spin the bottle and I kissed the same person twice and another person once." Yunjin tells her, frowning because she had been so jaded from the day's events and she was at the brink of sleep when Sakura spoke.

 

Sakura takes those words in, blinks slowly as she gazes upon her ceiling. Only then she notices the little cracks when she squints, she finds it odd and ironic that she's only noticing it now, when something in her splits apart leaving her with crevices which she's unsure how to mend back together.

 

"Okay." Is all she says, and it's terrifying how composed she sounds despite the incessant gnawing within her guts. She doesn't speak another word because it feels like she's swallowed the sun, burning her inside out.

 

She hasn't taken a sip of alcohol, so why does she feel the urge to vomit?

 

"Kkura," Yunjin, in her half-drunken state, could tell that even something is bothering her, because why else does she feel the need to assert something with the intent to calm the storm within her?

 

How does Yunjin know? Sometimes, Sakura forgets that before she even glanced her way, Yunjin was already looking at her first, always watching, that her clear brown eyes have already determined the cherry blossom as their muse.

 

"Sleep, Yunjin." Sakura curtly says, glancing to the side and sure enough, Yunjin's looking, gentle and probing. She shifts her eyes away and closes them instead.

 

"...I didn't like the kisses." Yunjin whispers, and Sakura feels Yunjin's hand travelling down her shoulders, fingertips so warm as they caress across her skin, leaving a blazing trail and when Yunjin clasps her hand in hers, it's scorching.

 

"...Okay." Sakura breathes easy.

 

"Goodnight, Kkura." Yunjin hums in content, burying her face in the curve of Sakura's neck and shoulder.

 

Sakura stills, thoughts brought to halt as she basks in the presence pressed up against her.

 

---

 

"How do I look?"

 

The first thing Sakura is greeted with when she walks out of the lecture hall is a redhead scaring the living daylights out of her.

 

She yelps at the sight of Yunjin, her piercing scream turns heads so she quickly slaps a hand to , Yunjin is cackling while dragging her to the side, grinning broadly.

 

Her hair is a fiery hue of orange — vastly different from its ebony black hue which Sakura's used to — in her white croptop and high-waisted jeans glory.

 

She looks pretty, Sakura never imagined such a bold colour on her, but she thinks that no matter what colour Yunjin dyes her hair, she'd be beautiful all the same.

 

"You look like someone I'd ask to be my navigator," Sakura scoffs, hiking the strap of her bag on her shoulder, clutching her laptop close to her chest.

 

Yunjin guffaws at the One Piece reference, seemingly satisfied at her answer — because they're both admittedly weebs — nodding enthusiastically and Sakura instinctively dodges a laughter punch aimed for her shoulder.

 

Her head thrown back, knees bending and that disarming smile on display as she laughs her heart out, scarlet dusting her cheeks and Sakura merely smiles as she stares — Yunjin is the most beautiful in this state.

 

"No but seriously, how do I look??" Yunjin nudges her for a better answer, looping an arm around Sakura's, who automatically walks a little closer to her like an unspoken habit.

 

"Like the sun is right in my face." Sakura snorts a chuckle, with a hair colour that literally rivals the sun, she technically isn't lying.

 

Even before, she's always associated Yunjin as the embodiment of the sun. Her orange hair really adds to her exuberant temperament and she's already a star, now she burns brighter than before, outshining the rest.

 

Sakura could only see her.

 

"I'll borrow this for a while!"

 

"Hey-"

 

Out of the blue, Yunjin snatches Sakura's phone from her back pocket. With their obvious height difference and Yunjin's long limbs, Sakura doesn't even bother fighting for it, groaning as Yunjin bursts into giggles and holds it out of her reach anyway.

 

With her narrowed eyes, Sakura wordlessly watches her then. She raises a brow when Yunjin goes into the camera app and holds it up for a high angle shot, confidently using the rear camera and spams the volume button as she poses for each shot.

 

Sakura sighs at her antics, but not a word of complaint escapes her lips and she continues looking at Yunjin, corners of her lips curling up in a gentle smile.

 

Something swells from inside her, a determined voice sounded off in her head. At that moment, she's never been so sure that she wanted someone this badly before.

 

---

 

"You... have my picture as a wallpaper?!"

 

Unbeknownst to Yunjin, Sakura does the unthinkable and had set her home screen to one of the selfies Yunjin had taken at campus the other day. She didn't change her lockscreen though, that would probably be too much, plus she likes the twoshot of them which Yunjin had insistently set for her.

 

She doesn't tell Yunjin that she never deleted any of her pictures that horded her gallery, actually she only just realises that never deletes anything that Yunjin takes on her phone. Yunjin probably knows that, if she scrolled through her gallery.

 

"...I'm not even gonna bother defending myself- yes I do, so what?" Sakura huffs, cheeks undoubtedly pink yet she keeps her calm composure as always, already accepting the fact that she likes Yunjin in a way a mere friend shouldn't.

 

"Do you actually, literally find me attractive?" Yunjin releases a dramatic gasp, Sakura's convinced she might shoot off into space with how much she's bouncing in her seat right now as she stares at Sakura's home screen with wide eyes and a hanging jaw.

 

"Whoever doesn't needs to get their eyes checked," Sakura rolls her eyes when Yunjin all but shoves her own phone to her face, pointing at her selfie that occupied the cherry blossom's homescreen behind organised apps.

 

One of Yunjin's little idiosyncrasies is to hog Sakura's phone out of the blue and organise her apps into pretty little folders — Sakura calls it 'pretty' only because Yunjin's doing it, the way she has the tip of her tongue out as she does it with utmost focus like it was the most important thing in the world (it might as well be), Sakura never thought to find someone endearing doing the most silly things.

 

"Sakura," Yunjin calls her in a serious tone, earning the cherry blossom's attention who looks at her with raised brows.

 

"Are you infatuated with me or something?" Yunjin asks in a flat tone with her forehead creasing that Sakura can't quite catch if it was a serious inquiry or not.

 

Either way, it causes Sakura's lip to twitch, her tongue suddenly running around in as she glances around the cafeteria mindlessly.

 

I think it's much bigger than an infatuation at this point. Her head says instead.

 

"We're gonna be late, come on." Sakura lifts herself from her seat and swings a leg smoothly over the bench, gripping her bag with one hand while its twin stays in her pocket.

 

"Ah hey! You didn't answer me!"

 

"We're gonna be laaaaaate~"

 

---

 

The moment she's been dreading comes sooner than she expected.

 

Sakura thinks nothing could have prepared her when it ensues, and when it does, she never thought it would affect her so badly, never knew that she gave someone the power to hurt her this much.

 

It wasn't Yunjin's fault, but at the same time Sakura wants it to be — to put the blame on someone else other than herself, because she knew that letting whatever feelings she had for Yunjin flourish could either make or break her.

 

Yunjin had called her on a weekend with the intent to invite her over to her shared dorm with Chaewon, with the latter spending her day with Minju, she wanted Sakura to come over so that she could at least lounge at home with someone. It had been a while since Sakura visited anyway, the cherry blossom reasoning that she never had a reason to come over, loving the comfort of her own cozy apartment.

 

The one time Sakura accepted her invitation — with something pleasant bubbling within her chest as she held a bag of desserts to share with Yunjin, unconsciously smiling at the thought of spending the day with her — it ends badly.

 

"Oh! Uh ... sorry-"

 

She should have knocked, maybe then she would have been spared of the heartwrenching sight of Yunjin hurriedly pulling away after having her lips locked with another woman.

 

It catches her off guard, the paper bag falls to the floor and she stumbles a few steps back as she comprehends what she had seen.

 

"Sakura?" Yunjin jumps up from her seat and away from the blonde woman who looked back and forth between them with furrowed eyebrows, shoulders hunched as tension rises in the atmosphere.

 

Panic settles in Yunjin's face, mouth open and closing like a fish out of water, rigid in place as she tries to find the words to explain. Sakura doesn't give her the luxury, she clenches her fists until her knuckles grow white, nails digging into her flesh she's certain it's enough to draw blood.

 

The nausea returns, and she feels like throwing up all over again.

 

"I'll... - I'll just go now," Sakura clamps instantly and stops herself from blurting out another word because burns, she whirls around and exits, subconsciously slamming the door behind her and starts storming down the hallway.

 

"Kkura hey!" She shakes her head and lets out a dry chuckle when she hears Yunjin opening her door and calling out for her desperately.

 

Sakura exhales a shaky breath, fixes her hard gaze forward and grits her teeth, the back of her eyes burn, vision obscured with unshed tears and worst of all, she knew she didn't have the right to feel this way.

 

What the ... Her chest constricts in a way it has never does, this time she's sure she's suffocating.

 

"Sakura! Wait!" She hears Yunjin running after her and she quickens her strides, but she curses under her breath because Yunjin catches up so easily due to her tall stature.

 

"What, Yunjin?"

 

It hurts when Yunjin flinches upon the spite lacing her voice, she's never talked to Yunjin this way. It's different from the reassuring, calm yet warm tone she uses around her, this one has thorns that prick into her skin, delving deeper and deeper until she bleeds.

 

"What's wrong? Please tell me, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn't think you'd come early-"

 

"Nothing's wrong," Sakura shoves the hand that grasps her elbow, glaring at the redhead whose face morphed into hurt before it steels.

 

"No, you're lying. Look, it's all a misunderstanding, she was my ex... a-and I swear we have nothing between us anymore! She just asked for one last kiss that meant nothing more than a closure-"

 

Yunjin rushes over her words, she doesn't even know why she's explaining herself in the first place because all of that couldn't have warranted such a strong reaction from Sakura, unless there was a much bigger reason behind her sharp words and hurtful glares.

 

Yunjin couldn't get the image of Sakura looking at her like she had betrayed her, so much hurt lying in those eyes that would have otherwise looked at her fondly.

 

Sakura scoffs, in disbelief. She drags a hand through her disarrayed hair and heaves out another mirthless chuckle.

 

"What's wrong- you invited me over just so I could what? Watch you shove your tongue down another girl's throat? Yeah, nothing's ing wrong, Yunjin!"

 

Sakura hangs her hands in the air then drops them to her sides, swivelling on her heels to take her leave but Yunjin doesn't give her mercy, holds her arm firmly and Sakura wants to cry out because her touch is burning her more than it should.

 

"This is more than that isn't it...? Sakura, do you have something to tell me-"

 

"There is nothing for me to tell you!"

 

"Then explain! Explain what am I to you now that's got you looking like you went through a break-up, Sakura?!"

 

Yunjin desperately holds onto her and looks piercingly into her eyes, Sakura sees her own reflection in them, riled up and upset that she finds herself pathetic.

 

Sakura struggles to answer, eyes wide when she realises that Yunjin's lower lip is trembling, looking straight at her with a gaze that held more pain than it did anger, and she looks like she's one word away from having hot tears streaming down her face.

 

This is what she was afraid of.

 

"I- ... forget about it." Sakura shakes her off and gives up, turning around to leave and this time Yunjin doesn't follow her.

 

---

 

The following days are better spent in purgatory.

 

She's so used to having Yunjin by her side on the daily that she feels her life force slowly being drained without the blinding smile to greet her day by day, to walk alongside her in the hallways but now even in cramped spaces bustling with life, she feels lonely, hollow.

 

So when a text notification comes up with Yunjin's name headlining it, Sakura simply stares at it blankly, wondering why the redhead wanted anything to do with her after her pathetic outburst.

 

She spaces out for the rest of her night shift, leaves Yunjin on read because she feels like she doesn't have the right to even reply. She's still too upset with herself, afraid that if she did respond, all the wrong things would come out again. She just couldn't bare to see Yunjin hurt once more.

 

When Sakura steps inside her house, worn out in all aspects, she spots the familiar pair of shoes on the racks and her stare lingers. She wordlessly takes off her own, moons her way inside and that's when she hears footsteps rushing from the kitchen.

 

Before this, Yunjin had notified her, pleaded her over text if she could come over, because to her dismay, she'd run into an embarrassing roommate situation and she wanted to be anywhere but her dorm right then.

 

It's a silly reason, saying that she had caught Chaewon and Minju in the act and the first thing she thought of was seeking refuge in Sakura's place. While it seemed shameless because for one, they aren't really on the best terms right now but the fact that Yunjin is still thinking of her means a lot.

 

"I-I can explain myself!" Yunjin frantically says when she stops in front of Sakura, donning her apron and held a ladle on one hand, apparently cooking up something in her kitchen when she knew she probably shouldn't.

 

Sakura doesn't utter a single word, too tired, and it's when Yunjin registers the fatigue in her face, in her slumped shoulders and bloodshot eyes.

 

"I just! My feet brought me here on automatic and I-I wanted to leave but then I remembered that... that we aren't really talking and by the time I finished cooking supper, I decided to stay because I want us to make up and apologise for... Sakura?" Yunjin pauses her ramblings when Sakura suddenly trudges to the dining table, watching with concerned eyes as Sakura sinks into a chair and stares at the table mindlessly.

 

Then she eventually looks up at Yunjin, an unreadable expression on her face.

 

"Can I have supper please..."

 

Yunjin is startled at the unexpected response, nevertheless, she nods frantically. At least she wasn't being chased out.

 

"You want... oh- yeah! Of course! I cooked it for you anyway haha... I'll just- ugh shut the up, Yunjin, she's tired! " Yunjin knocks her head with her knuckles gently, shaking her head as she finds her own monologue annoying, rushing to serve a meal for Sakura.

 

In the midst of pouring the kimchi stew in a bowl, Yunjin spares a glance at the dining table. Her stomach is in painful knots when she sees Sakura unmoving, blankly staring at her clasped hands on the table with pursed lips and Yunjin wants to dive into her thoughts and rid them of any pain and worry, anything to eradicate that twisted look off her face.

 

After gently settling the steaming plates in front of Sakura, Yunjin hesitantly sits in the chair opposite hers, fidling with her fingers on her lap as she fixes her eyes on Sakura. The latter takes a moment to inhale a sharp breath, before slowly picking up her spoon and scoops a portion of her favourite stew.

 

Yunjin wants to cry, knowing Sakura should be smiling so widely because that's her favourite dish, she made sure to put extra tofu just the way she knew Sakura likes it.

 

Yunjin holds herself back from initiating a conversation, so desperate to fix the hole in their relationship, she wants to rid of the palpable distance between them and instead revel in Sakura's embrace.

 

A couple more scoops and Yunjin realises that Sakura's shaking in her seat, in the blink of an eye there's tears streaming down her face. Yunjin freezes, eyes turning into saucers at the sight of Sakura breaking down in the middle of her meal.

 

"I thought I'd lose you..." Sakura chokes out, setting down her spoon and cries as she looks down at her plate half-full. She buries her face in her palms then, when the tears wouldn't stop and kept spilling over.

 

"L-lose me? Over one stupid argument? Sakura, you know damn well our relationship is way stronger than that. You know I'd come back for you, no matter what." Yunjin stands up and hurriedly moves to her side, wrapping her arms around Sakura's vulnerable state.

 

"I'm sorry, I just like you so much..." She sniffles, melting instantly once Yunjin envelops her arms around her and presses further into her, she's missed this so much.

 

Yunjin heaves a sigh of relief, content that she finally gets her answer to all her burning questions and she's so happy to hear that Sakura feels the same.

 

Now she figures it's time to let out the truth of her own, she's spent the week long hiatus between them drowning in her own introspections.

 

"You know, I have something to confess too," Yunjin mumbles against the crown of Sakura's head, continues rubbing the latter's back because it perfectly soothes the sobs that wracked her chest.

 

"You know how my relationships never work out and I think I know why now. One thing in common when I asked why they'd break things off was because they said I never really loved them, that I was constantly looking for someone else in them." Yunjin says, smiles lightly when the sobs gradually reduced to sniffles, feeling Sakura relaxing further into her embrace.

 

"I won't lie that I sensed you might have liked me in a different way, because your stares were longer, your touches became gentler and you just look at me like I meant so much more that I ever thought I could to you, you know? It's crazy when I realise these things one by one because I never really knew I was always looking at you."

 

Yunjin sheepishly smiles when Sakura pulls away slowly, looking up at her with a tear stained face and swollen eyes. She takes Sakura's hand in hers and rubs her thumbs over cold knuckles.

 

"Hell, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have put the pieces together, that the reason I was never able to stay with someone for so long is because I looked for you in every person I dated. I realised that they'd have the same aspects or interests as you but they just weren't... well, you."

 

Yunjin shrugs, embarrassment coating her cheeks and Sakura could only look at her with a startled expression, could barely believe that Yunjin reciprocates her feelings.

 

Yunjin shyly smiles at her, biting her lower lip as she shrinks under Sakura's starry gaze. Then she remembers their incident and frantically rushes to apologise properly and explain.

 

At that moment, Sakura could barely register anything else other than the fact that Yunjin likes her too. The woman's ramblings and strings of apologies fall on deaf ears because she's heard what she needed and she feels her chest blooming again.

 

Despite trying her best to listen to Yunjin talking away, Sakura finds herself in a reverie, her eyes scan the woman in front of her whom she knows she is undoubtedly in love with, and she smiles hopelessly.

 

When Yunjin doesn't stop talking a minute later, Sakura tugs on her shirt impatiently. They like each other, that's all that matters now and she wants to do something about it so badly.

 

"You talk so damn much," Sakura sniffles once again and wryly chuckles when Yunjin immediately becomes silent due to their proximity, pupils shaking nervously,"can you just kiss me?"

 

She witnesses Yunjin's eyes lighting up, eagerness so tangible. She notices the bob of the latter's throat, sensing the anxiety surging in the redhead because she's kissed so many people but this is Sakura.

 

So she leans in slowly, eyes planted on Sakura's lips and she parts her own, drawing in further until they collide gently into Sakura's soft pair. Something in her stomach stirs violently when she gets pulled closer by the neck.

 

Sakura kisses her again when they part for air, Yunjin moves her hands from her lap to the curve of her waist and holds her firmly, tilting her head to deepen the kiss.

 

"I-I... think you're everything I've ever wanted? Like wow, that kiss definitely confirms everything, I literally only want you. Can't believe I was searching like an idiot when the whole time, the answer's right in front of me! Gosh, why didn't I realise it sooner? I think I love you?!"

 

Yunjin shrieks in the revelation after that, Sakura simply laughs and pulls her by the collar to plant another kiss on plump lips.

 

"I love you too, Yunjin."

 

—

a/n:

*yunjins birthday in ddmmyy format