Kyuhyun likes to think that he does not have a size kink.

Like, why? Why would anyone have a size kink? Seemed like such an unfathomable, foreign concept to him. Why would he be preoccupied, let alone infatuated, with something as frivolous as someone’s physical size?

Yet, when he pushes Jongwoon hyung against the wall, and looks down at the shorter man’s pleading, half-lidded eyes, he feels a steady rush of high course through his veins. Suddenly, everything becomes hotter and more noticeable — the way Jongwoon’s tiny waist fits snugly in his palms, the way Jongwoon’s knees had buckled under pleasure which made him even shorter than Kyuhyun than usual, the way Jongwoon’s warm and small hands are spread out on his chest.

And even after that, when the couple is cuddling in bed, post-coital, Kyuhyun just cannot seem to tear his eyes away from how his shirt draped across Jongwoon’s smaller frame, the end of it reaching the middle of the older’s smooth thighs. It was only then, did Kyuhyun come to the realisation.

Yeah, I’ll bite. I have a size kink. He admitted quietly in his mind, as he tightened the arm around the hips of a sleeping Jongwoon.

-

Admitting to himself that he does have a size kink turned out to be a big mistake. Now, it just seemed like he was hyperaware of the ways he towered over Jongwoon. Just yesterday, he walked into the kitchen to see Jongwoon struggling to reach for a coffee mug on the top shelf, the ceramic eluding his grasp just by a few centimetres. All he did was stepped behind Jongwoon and took down the coffee mug for his hyung, but that alone made him feel giddy at how he was looming over and pressing against Jongwoon’s frame when he reached for the cup (and having Jongwoon sandwiched between him and the counter), and the way Jongwoon went on his tippy-toes to leave a small thank-you peck on his cheek before striding off to make his morning coffee.

He also wondered if this was a Jongwoon-specific thing or what, because he doesn't remember being so fixated on how someone is smaller than him with his previous girlfriends.

Take for example, now — the group was seated in a row on a long sofa, with Leeteuk answering some of the standard questions that the interviewer had thrown at them. It was business as usual, really, but his mind somehow noticed that Jongwoon, who, in the rare occurrence, allowed to sit beside him today, was slouching in his seat and playing with his fingers absently as he listened to Leeteuk’s answers.

With the way he was sitting, his boyfriend looked so small. Subconsciously, Kyuhyun found himself sitting up straighter, just so he can feel and see the difference in size between him and Jongwoon even more. He imagined enveloping Jongwoon with his whole body, so that he could hide the beautiful man away from everyone else's eyes.

… which turned out to be a bad idea, because he was so caught up with his thoughts and his attempts to hold himself back from wrapping an arm around his hyung’s slim shoulders and pulling the older man into his lap, that he missed the questions that were directed at him.

So of course, Leeteuk and the managers banned him from sitting beside Jongwoon (again).

But when he and Jongwoon finally stepped past the threshold of the door to their shared hotel room after they were done with all their group schedules, the delayed gratification of being able to jump on his lover again all but made up for it.

-

Thereafter, Kyuhyun developed a small hobby. He would prowl through the internet to look for videos of the group or any photos where he would be beside Jongwoon, and he simply would observe. He couldn’t stop staring at how his shoulders looked so much broader than Jongwoon’s or how Jongwoon’s waist was so much smaller than his. His personal favourite is no doubt the (many) videos where he made Jongwoon compare their hand sizes side by side. He would like to pat the past Kyuhyun on the back for providing now Kyuhyun with so much material to obsess over. Maybe he had been projecting this little kink of his all along.

Kyuhyun was just in another one of his Jongwoon-is-smaller-than-me-I-want-to-smother-him-in my-arms kinda episode, scrolling through his gallery of videos and photos, when the said subject of fixation walked in on him. He didn’t even realise Jongwoon was looking over his shoulder until he was tilting his head back to hide his face in his arms as he was giggling at a specific video, when he felt a warm body behind him.

Kyuhyun jumped and almost fell off the chair. He stood up immediately and backed himself against the desk. Jongwoon looked at him in amusement and curiosity.

“Jongwoon! When did you get here!?!”

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you scrolling through your ‘Small Jongwoon hyungie’ album. You looked very focused.” Kyuhyun could tell Jongwoon was trying to hold back his laughter and he wanted to strangle him.

“Stop laughing at me! I hate you!”

“Can I look at the photos?”

“No! you!”

“Honestly, I don’t know if I’m supposed to be offended or not, Kyu. Can I remind you that we are almost the same height?”

“I know that! Go away!”

Kyuhyun was all ready to make a run for the door and hide away to think of an appropriate explanation that didn’t sound like he was an obsessed school girl (but he kinda was?) when the teasing smile on Jongwoon’s face faded into something more curious and tentative.

“Is it like… a kink? A size kink kinda thing?”

Kyuhyun looked at his hyung like a deer in the headlights. It wasn’t like they weren’t close or intimate enough with each other to talk about these kinds of things, they’ve been together for a decade, for ’s sake. But being caught redhanded giggling alone about his personalised collection of his lover really took a toll on his ego. And he was supposed to be the cool and stern one in front of people! Curse Jongwoon and his ability to make Kyuhyun feel like a shy fan boy.

“NO? Uhh… I mean… yes? Wait……”

The younger watched as Jongwoon slowly made his way closer and closer to Kyuhyun and the worst thing was Kyuhyun didn’t even know what to expect from the older. Is his ear going to be twisted? Or is Jongwoon going to hug him for being cute? He will never know.

"Do you like that I'm smaller than you?"

What the maknae did not expect, was for Jongwoon to reach out and wrap his arms around Kyuhyun’s neck and plaster his (smaller) whole body on the younger’s. Kyuhyun could feel every inch of Jongwoon’s warmth on him. The familiar rush of heat and lust surged in him, making him feel lightheaded. He hoped that Jongwoon could not feel the heavy pounding of his heart through their skins. 

Kyuhyun watched with wide eyes as Jongwoon leaned in and kissed his exposed collarbone, before biting and the skin, sending chills down Kyuhyun’s spine. When Jongwoon was done, Kyuhyun almost let out a disgruntled protest, but the noise died down in the back of his throat when the older nibbled at his ear, before whispering in a low, sultry voice.

"Kyuhyun hyung, please, I want you to take care of me."

It was as if the words unlocked something in the younger. Before both of them knew it, Kyuhyun had already flipped their positions around and had pushed Jongwoon down to be all sprawled out on the table. Jongwoon yelped in surprise at being manhandled roughly (don’t get him wrong, he liked it too), and scrambled to sit up. But Kyuhyun was already looming over him, his gaze dark and sharp, his grip on Jongwoon’s thigh and neck hot and tight. Jongwoon felt breathless. Kyuhyun had nothing else on his mind, besides how delicious and malleable Jongwoon’s smaller frame looked beneath him. Apparently, he had a hyung kink too, it seemed.

“I’ll take care of you so good, baby. Let hyung pamper you, okay?”

Jongwoon’s voice could only tremble, as he breathed out a shaky, “Yes, hyung”, and Kyuhyun’s warm lips were upon his already.