On Park Eun’s first day in college, she swore to herself that she will find a guy to be with and stick with him because staying in a relationship has always been difficult for her. But this time, she’s determined. She cannot let her daddy issues get in the way of possibly finding the right one for her. 

The thing about studying in a university that Eun wished someone had told her that she was going to be busy 24/7 and that she would not have time to actually “find” a guy. She thought that uni life was going to be academics in the daytime and partying during the night. Turns out, the partying was only feasible on the first week when the professors were not attending classes and if they do, it was only to introduce the course.

She made a friend though. Nari. She’s her roommate, of course. Where else would she have the time to find other friends? Before arriving at the school’s dormitory, Eun was praying to all the gods to give her a clean and organized roommate and she did, fortunately.

Another thing that she wished somebody has warned her about uni is that she’s not going to excel as easily as she did in high school. She was never a stellar student, not the one that stands out. She was okay, she can top STEM subjects quite quickly and then cry over an English essay the next day. However, here, all gifted students seem to be in the same room.

So Eun, who used to excel at school effortlessly, now spends almost all her free time studying. She wasn’t depressed about it or anything, she just know that she had to recognize that at some point, everything will stop coming so easily at her. To study at the most prestigious school in the country means she has to prove that she earned her spot in it.

During her sophomore year, she learned how to manage her time better and finally put in some hours to join organizations she’s passionate about. She met new friends at Capture, a photography organization for students. At that time, she and Nari were drifting apart.

The third thing that Eun wished she knew about college is that your friends from your first year may not be your ride or die. Some friendships, like Nari's and hers, just drift apart after quite some time. It wasn’t anything nasty or bitter, it was simply a friendship coming to an end to make room for new ones. Nari also started making new friends and spending less time at the dormitory. She comes home late and Eun leaves before she wakes up so they rarely see each other. At sophomore, they started to feel more like an acquaintance than friends.

In their senior year, Nari moved out of the on-campus housing so Nari’s room was free. She encouraged Jiyoon, her newfound friend to also be her newfound roommate. They met during auditions at Capture and instantly became friends.

This time, Eun was really, genuinely, utterly determined to find the love of her life. She has fully adjusted to college life and her time is running out. So on her first day back at campus with Jiyoon, they planned which frat and sorority party they will go to each night.

Eun has always struggled with keeping relationships since she started to have one. It was an unexplainable feeling of only liking a guy when you think you don’t have a chance with him, yet you’re determined to get him to like you. Eun likes the person’s mystery, of constantly guessing what they must be like. She enjoys making up versions of them in her mind.

But once she gets them to like her, once she gets to know the person, there’s a sudden drop and the was over. No matter how beautiful, kind, and smart the person she chased was, she would immediately lose all the romantic feelings once they returned them.

She had the reputation of leading people in her high school. Once, she got interested in the high school heartthrob, Kim Jongdae. One thing about Eun is that when she locks in her target, she wouldn’t stop until she had him. Now, the problem was Jongdae has a girlfriend at the time. And it wasn’t Eun’s proudest moment when she started texting a taken guy. It all started with an “innocent” question about their history homework, and then she started texting him every day, sending him songs that she thought he would like, tagging him on memes, and always asking him what he was up to.

Until now, Eun is ashamed of her past actions. It was a setback for feminism if you ask her about it. It doesn’t matter if she was 15 and not perfect at all. But she did, and she got him to break up with his girlfriend to pursue her. And you’d think she’s finally happy that she got what she wanted, but no. Having Jongdae finally show interest in her made her feel empty. All the excitement was suddenly gone.

It was the same when she was 18 and thought that maybe a college boy would be right for her. During the campus tour for incoming freshmen, Eun met Minseok and flirted with him for a while. It was fun, thinking that nothing could ever happen between them because he was a college boy. Eun can simply flirt with him day and night and not expect consequences because again, he’s a college boy. They’re never serious with girls.

Not until he started showing up at the gates of her high school and realized that he may be serious about this. But she wasn’t serious and she didn’t want to be serious.

She wanted casual.

But girls can’t just want “casual”, at least according to society. They can’t be just “one-night stand” because their little sensitive hearts will be attached. Eun has thought for so long that something was wrong with her for not committing to relationships. Her friends even told her that she’s too good for “just casual.” But what if that was what she actually wanted?

In her experience, the guys who agree to just being “casual” ended up asking for more. Who’s the little miss sensitive now, eh? 

But now, she’s determined to try to at least get past the three-month mark in a relationship.

“I can do it, commit to a relationship,” Eun said to Jiyoon while they were on their way to the sorority house.

“You can, but you really don’t have to do it just because society tells you to,” replied Jiyoon. “Ugh,” Eun rolled her eyes. “You’re so activist,” she joked.

“And you’re a huge- red flag,” Jiyoon returned.

“You think that’s gonna hurt me? My own mother already told me that,”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Jiyoon ruffled her hair with a fake sympathetic voice and Eun slapped her hand away. “Eew get your oily hands off me, I spent an hour making my hair!” she said and ran to the house party.

They were greeted with loud music and cheers from the backyard where someone was doing a keg stand. The place was filled with frat boys. Which means that it was filled with so much temptation, so many casuals who wouldn’t even bat an eye if Eun stopped texting them. She’s had her experience with some frat boys since her freshman year and it was smooth sailing. It was… casual in its simplest form.

Whenever she needed a release, a simple booty call from a frat boy will solve that. No matter how annoying, narcissistic, and dumb some of them can be, Eun felt like the dumber they are, the better they are in bed.

But then again, Eun was done with that lifestyle. She was supposed to be done with that lifestyle since year 1 but she kept extending the deadline for herself, for her sanity’s sake. Commitment is hard, okay?, she’d convince herself.

“Hi, Eun,” greeted Jongin who handed her and Jiyoon a red cup filled with whatever kind of alcohol that is. “Hi Yoonie,” he s his arm around Jiyoon’s waist and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Ugh,” Eun rolled her eyes and pretended to gag. “If it isn’t the high school sweethearts.” Jongin and Jiyoon simply laughed it off because she does that every time, acting like she was disgusted by the two when they’re in fact, her favorite people in this entire school.

They went to the backyard where Jongin’s friends were gathered in a circle. “Hey guys,” Jongin said and the group immediately broke the circle to make room for us. “Oh, I’m glad you nerdies made it,” Junmyeon, the only 4th-year student in the group, said.

“Oh expect us to be at every party here this week because miss girly here wants to find a man to marry,” Jiyoon answered.

“Oh shut the up Jiyoon and your boring vanilla long-term relationship,”

“Hey!” Jongin protested while everyone laughed.

“Well, in that case, you should come to our party on Wednesday,” Chanyeol said. “Lots of guys will be there. Jongin’s coming too,” he turned to Jiyoon who nodded in agreement.

“Okay,