♡

It’s been years. I’ve waited for her for years. Everyday, I’d come home early and prepare her favourite meal. Everyday I’d wait for the usual sound of the door unlocking and I’d wait for her to call out my name. I waited for her, everyday. I waited and waited but she never came back.

 I should be approximately 50 right now. I don’t know. I’ve never celebrated my birthday ever since she was gone. I’ve been living my life filled with regrets. I would sit on the worn-out chair near the windowsill and just stare at the sky with solemn eyes while clutching onto a certain frame. The photo frame was my treasure; it became my every thing, ever since she was gone.

I miss her laugh, I miss her smile, I miss her warm embraces, I miss her constant sulking, I miss her touch, I miss her. It pains me whenever I remember the time when she had to go and I wasn’t there with her.

Flashback.

“Oppa~” Hanbyul whined.

“I’ll be back okay? Just wait for me.” Myungsoo assured her.

“Ah waeeeeee?” She folded her arms.

“Aigoo.” Myungsoo reached out for the doorknob.

“Oppa,” He halted. “Do you really have to go?” She held onto his wrist, preventing him from opening the door.

“Yes, I have to yobeo. I have to, in order to find money so I can support you and make you, my yeppeo Byul, happy.” Myungsoo took her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace as he kissed the top of her head.

“It doesn’t make me happy.” She mumbled into his chest. “Oppa do you remember what day today is?” She asked, looking up at him sadly.

“Of course I do Park Hanbyul. Are you mocking me?” Myungsoo poked her side. She didn’t laugh nor smile. He sighed and stooped down to her eye level. Myungsoo cupped her face and stared into her eyes as he sang her a birthday song. She managed a small smile as a tear slid down her face.

“I’ll be back arasso? Don’t worry.” She nodded as she gave him a final hug. Myungsoo pinched her cheeks and headed out.

‘Pabo oppa. Not only it’s my birthday today, but it might be my due date too.’ Hanbyul wiped away her tears using the back of her hand.

Cough cough cough wheeze cough.

Hanbyul dashed towards the bathroom and stood in front of the sink. Her hands firmly grabbed the edge of the sink as she coughed violently. Hanbyul’s body was shaking and she was getting weak in the knees. Hanbyul crouched down and clamped her hand over . She wanted to suppress the coughing but it came out even more.

Cough cough cough.

Hanbyul released her hand. ‘Omona! Andwae….andwae andwae andwae!’ She shook her head in disbelief. Hanbyul stood up and looked into the mirror. Her face was pale and she looked like a mess. Hanbyul washed her hands and grabbed her bag in distress.

She took the cab and went to the nearest hospital. Hanbyul reached and pressed for a queue number as she waited for her appointment. Hanbyul got impatient and began tapping her foot. ‘Please tell me it’s not going to happen so soon. Someone please tell me this is all not real.’ She gulped the lump of saliva down .

“Number 1318, Park Hanbyul.” The nurse announced through the speaker. Hanbyul hurriedly got off the seat and knocked on the doctor’s door.

She opened the door and immediately bombarded him with questions. “Doctor Lee please tell me this is not real. It’s not real right? I’m just dreaming right?” Tears were already welling up in her eyes. “Hanbyul sshi,”

“No no no! It’s not real.” Hanbyul clutched her head.

“Hanbyul sshi, I don’t think it’s wise of you to be behaving like that, especially when you’re in that state.” Doctor Lee spoke to her. Hanbyul stopped crying. “H-how many days left?” She stuttered. “I’m afraid I might have to say it’d be less than 2 hours.” Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Y-you can’t do a-anything about it?” She desperately asked him. “I’m really sorry.” Hanbyul looked away as she pressed her lips into a firm line.

Trrrrrrrrt. Trrrrrt trrrrrt.

“The number you have dialed is currently unavaila-”

Hanbyul snapped her phone shut. She clutched the phone in her hands and flipped it open again as she called Myungsoo once more.

‘Come on oppa pick up pick up it’s an emergency.’

Hanbyul was already on the bed wearing the hospital gown. She was physically prepared though she wasn’t mentally. Still not giving up, Hanbyul dialed Myungsoo’s number again.

Trrrrrrrrt. Trrrrrt trrrrrt. Trrrr-

Cough cough wheeze cough.

Her phone fell onto the bed as she sat up. Hanbyul broke into cold sweat as she coughed out blood. ‘Ughhhh, I can’t go yet. Not when Myungsoo oppa is not here yet.’ She grabbed the sheets of the bed, in agony.

Rinnnnngrinnnnng.

Hanbyul searched the bed for her phone. She looked at the screen and saw the caller ID. Hanbyul cleared before answering his long awaited call.

“Oppa,” her voice sounded so weak.

“HANBYUL YOBEO WHAT’S THE MATTER? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

Myungsoo’s panicked voice made her calm. She choked on her tears as she stuttered to answer. “D-deh.” She sniffled. “Park Hanbyul where are you? I received more than 30 calls. Do you have any idea how frightened I am right now? You scared the out of me!” Hanbyul couldn’t take it anymore. She burst out crying as she held the phone closely to her ear.

“H-hanbyul?” Myungsoo’s voice shook. “Oppa listen carefully. I’m in the hospital right now-” “WHAT THE HECK BYUL-” “Oppa shhhh. Shhhhh,” From over the phone, Hanbyul could hear Myungsoo trying his best to calm down. “I didn’t want to tell you this because I know how you would react. I didn’t think this would be happening so soon though because I thought the doctors could help me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell this to you earlier oppa. I found out I had pneumonia on our third anniversary. The doctors told me I could only live up to my birthday this year. The world is so cruel huh?” Hanbyul laughed sadly.

“Oppa, I have always loved you, I still love you and I always will. I’ll remember all our memories no matter good or bad and I will definitely remember you. You’ll always be in here,” Hanbyul pointed to her heart even though Myungsoo can’t see it. “The reason I didn’t want you to go to work at that bar today was so that I could spend my last day with you.” “Why didn’t you try harder to stop me?! You could have at least told me about your condition!” “Ani, you wouldn’t let me go then.”

“Myungsoo oppa don’t cry.” Myungsoo was sobbing over the phone. “Which hospital are you in now?” Myungsoo tried his best to remain cool but inside he was breaking down. “Seoul National University.” Hanbyul whispered. “No no Byul, don’t leave me like that. Wait for me arasso? Byul you have to wait for me.”

“Kim Myungsoo,” “Byul hold on a little longer. “Myung-soo..oppa, sarang..haeyo.” Hanbyul muttered before her hand fell limp to her side. “PARK HANBYUL. HANBYUL!!” Myungsoo screamed into his phone before running to grab a cab.

When Myungsoo reached however, it was already too late. Hanbyul was gone. Her face was pale and her body was cold. He hugged her and cried into her shoulders. “Wake up yobeo ah!” He bawled. “Hanbyul ahhhhh!” He shook her body. “Hanbyul, Hanbyul!” He patted her cheeks. Myungsoo was turning hysterical. “Yah open your eyes, are you pulling a joke because I didn’t celebrate your birthday? This is a prank right? BYUL!”

“Sorry mister but we have to bring her to the cremation room.” Myungsoo’s eyes widened as he defensively hugged Hanbyul’s body. “You’re not taking her anywhere!” “Nurse Hwang.” The nurse tugged on Myungsoo and pulled his body away from Hanbyul. “Yah let go! What are you doing? Where are you taking her?!” Myungsoo sank to the ground as he watched Hanbyul being pushed inside a room.

End of flashback.

I looked at the photo frame in my hand. It was a picture of me and Hanbyul sharing our kiss on our first anniversary. It was just a peck on the cheek but it meant more to me. I traced her picture and smiled.

I will wait for you Park Hanbyul. I will wait for as long as I live.

Because I will love you until the day we meet.

Saranghamnida.